Rising Sun
by jackiechanel
Summary: The sequel to Midnight Sun-New Moon from Jacob and Edward's POV- Chaps 4-13 are the missing months Oct-Nov-Dec-Jan where we have no idea what Edward,Bella, or Jacob are up to.
1. Chapter 1

The final moment had come. The moment that I would cease to exist.

It was my choice, pre-determined a long time ago. I would not live in a world where she did not exist.

The hands on the giant clock tower inched closer and closer to the moment of my demise. The sun beat down from the exact center of the sky.

It was time. For I had failed her and this was the end of my story.

***

**Chapter 1**

The digital red numbers on Bella's bedside table switched from 11:59 to 12:00am. At the same precise moment Bella stirred anxiously in her sleep, as if somehow – in her slumber – she knew.

Her eighteenth birthday had come.

Eighteen. Much to Bella's dismay, she'd done the impossible and passed me in age. I was frozen at seventeen, to only grow wiser mentally…never physically changing.

But Bella would change. She would grow, mature…blossom like the delicate flower that she is…_if I had my way_. It was the natural order of things, to evolve, to change. While neither I nor my family would experience that part of life again, Bella was safe from our fate. Bella was protected, free from harm, free to move about her world without interference.

The only problem was…she did not want to.

I did not understand this desire of hers, to become a soulless monster. She wanted me forever and I felt the same, but forever had different meanings in our world. I longed for the forever of the human world, to watch as Bella grew older.

_If she had her way, I would not get that chance._

I leaned over and brushed Bella's chestnut hair away from her face. In the moonlight, Bella's pale skin was even more translucent. I could hear her heart beating faster – her dream was making her anxious.

"Edward, no, she'll see," Bella spoke in her sleep.

Though I was used to hearing her talk in her sleep, I still adored the breathless way my name rolled off of her lips.

Bella stirred again, this time wrapping her arms around my icy chest. I did not understand how she could be so comfortable lying next to an ice cold rock. But Bella never complained. In fact, she insisted that she could not sleep without me.

"Edward," Bella breathed again, her scent hitting me like a wall of fire.

In six months, I had not grown immune to the burning that being near Bella caused. Where I used to shy away from it, I now welcomed it. The fiery sensation in my throat meant that she was near. As long as I burned, Bella and I were together.

"Happy birthday, Bella," I whispered and hugged her tighter…carefully.

I stayed until I heard Charlie stirring in the next room, my cue to exit out of the window as I did every morning for the past eight months. I had to get ready for school as well. And try to talk Alice out of the plan I saw her hatching last night before I left.

Alice was the only one in the living room when I returned to our home, nestled deep inside the forest. Her eyes were brilliant with excitement as she put the finishing touches on a small silver wrapped gift. Bella was going to be so upset. She'd made us swear that we would not get her any gifts of any kind. But when Alice broke the promise, the rest of us followed behind, hoping that Alice would bear the worst of Bella's wrath. After all, she was planning a party.

We rode to Forks High School in silence. Well, we were not speaking, the conventional way, that is. Alice was keeping up a constant stream of chatter in her head as she planned Bella's surprise party down to the minutest detail.

"And don't you say anything to her about the party," Alice warned me, trying her best to look frightening and tough. It didn't work.

"Don't worry about that," I answered. "I'll let you handle that."

I rounded the corner, amazed that even after all these years in Forks, the student body still parted like the Red Sea when I pulled my Volvo into the student parking lot. Bella had not arrived yet but I could hear the rumbling of her '53 Chevy truck barreling down the street at the slowest speed possible.

I wanted to get her a new car, something prettier and definitely faster but Bella was not hearing any of that. She loved her old truck and every once in awhile the thought passed through my mind that the reason she loved the rickety automobile is because it once belonged to Billy and Jacob Black, her close family friends. But the thought never lingered long. I refused to be jealous of one of the many complications in my relationship with Bella.

"Here she comes," Alice announced and hopped out of the car.

I stood patiently by the car, waiting for Bella while Alice literally skipped forward to meet her.

"Happy Birthday Bella!"

Bella grimaced. "Shh!"

"Do you want your present now or later?" Alice asked eagerly as they made their way to my car.

Bella looked apprehensive on what should have been a joyous occasion. I could read the pain in her eyes as she approached. Her eyes never could hide her true feelings. She hated the fact that today was her birthday and I would never have another birthday again.

"No presents," Bella mumbled and Alice finally processed her sour mood.

"Okay...later, then. Did you like the scrapbook your mom sent you? And the camera from Charlie?"

Bella sighed and glanced at me. Of course Alice had seen what Renée and Charlie had given their only child for her eighteenth birthday.

"Yeah, they're great," was Bella's unenthused answer.

"I think it's a nice idea. You're only a senior once," Alice sang. "Might as well document the experience."

Bella's brow tensed and her eyes lowered. "How many times have you been a senior?"

"That's different."

The two girls, similar only in general paleness, but best friends nonetheless, finally reached me and I held my hand out to Bella. She took it eagerly, seeming to forget her sullen mood. It was like that all the time, even if it was momentarily. When we looked into each other's eyes, all was forgiven and forgotten.

I lifted my hand and traced around the outside of her lips, the warmth of her skin warming my fingertips.

"So, as discussed, I am not allowed to wish you a Happy Birthday, is that correct?" I asked.

"Yes. That is correct."

"Just checking. You might have changed your mind. Most people seem to enjoy things like birthdays and gifts."

As soon as the words were spoken, I knew that they were wrong. _Most people. _Isabella Swan was nothing like most people. Most people shied away from the strange Cullen clan, including our own kind. Most people were selfish and self serving and Bella was a saint.

Alice laughed at my words. "Of course you'll enjoy it. Everyone is supposed to be nice to you today and give you your way, Bella. What's the worst that could happen?" It was a rhetorical question but Bella's deep brown eyes told us that she had an answer ready.

"Getting older," Bella replied shakily.

My smile hardened. This was not the time to bring this subject up again.

"Eighteen isn't very old," Alice said. "Don't women usually wait until they're twenty-nine to get upset over birthdays?"

"It's older than Edward," Bella mumbled and I sighed. She would not let this go.

"Technically," Alice said, trying her best to keep the conversation light. "Just by one year, though."

But it would be more than one year. We'd escaped Bella's transformation just months ago in Phoenix and I decided then what my next plan of action would be and it was not to make her one of us. No matter how much she insisted, I would not allow it.

And she insisted all of the time. So there we stood at a crossroad...an impasse.

"What time will you be at the house?" Alice said to Bella, interrupting an intense staring contest.

"I didn't know I had plans to be there."

"Oh be fair, Bella!" Alice complained. "You aren't going to ruin all our fun like that, are you?"

"I thought my birthday was about what I want."

"I'll get her from Charlie's right after school," I interrupted.

"I have to work," Bella weakly protested.

"You don't actually," Alice informed her smugly. "I already spoke to Mrs. Newton about it. She's trading your shifts. She said to tell you 'Happy Birthday.'"

"I-I still can't come over," Bella stammered, searching for an excuse, any excuse. "I, well I haven't watched Romeo and Juliet yet for English."

Alice snorted. "You have Romeo and Juliet memorized."

"But Mr. Berty said we needed to see it performed to fully appreciate it-that's how Shakespeare intended it to be presented."

Automatically, I felt my eyes roll to the back of my head. Romeo and Juliet.

"You've already seen the movie," Alice argued.

"But not the nineteen-sixties version. Mr. Berty said it was the best."

Finally Alice stopped smiling. "This can be easy, or this can be hard, Bella, but one way or the other-"

"Relax, Alice," I interrupted before my dark haired sister could get upset, "If Bella wants to watch a movie, then she can. It's her birthday."

"So there," Bella added and for a split second I thought she was going to stick out her tongue at Alice.

"I'll bring her over around seven. That will give you more time to set up."

Alice smiled and laughed. Just what she needed...more time to make this party even more extravagant.

"Sounds good. See you tonight, Bella! It'll be fun, you'll see."

She grinned and pecked Bella on the cheek. She was off to her first class before Bella could respond.

She turned to me, her face a desperate plea for help.

"Edward, please," she started but I pressed my finger to her lips. As much as I wanted to allow her to forget about it, Alice would never forgive me. And a vampire grudge was not something that I wanted to endure. Bella could and would survive a few hours at a party for her.

"Let's discuss it later," I suggested. "We're going to be late for class."

Months ago Bella had accused me of dazzling people to get what I wanted. I had not noticed. Now that I was aware of this talent, I tested it on the female administrators at Forks High School and now Bella and I had the majority of our classes together.

We passed an angry Mike Newton as we took our usual seats in the back of the English classroom.

_Pretty boy loser...look how he holds Bella's hand so tighty, like he's afraid that he'll lose her. might as well put her on a leash._

For months Mike Newton had tried to pursue his crush on Bella but we had been together too long and he now realized that the small girl was mine. That she'd chosen me. And he didn't like it. He hid his evil thoughts behind a small smile, only I could hear how disgusted he was.

I watched Bella from the side of my eye through out the day. No one attempted to wish her birthday blessings because she had told no one that her birthday was approaching. Going through the day without the well wishes of others seemed to make her happy, though her face stayed tense and I was curious to know what she was thinking of.

Then it was time for lunch.

Now that Rosalie, Jasper, and Emmett had graduated, Bella and I migrated to the table that she had shared with her friends. It was an interesting kind of truce that existed between us. Alice joined us and surprisingly, she was accepted more by Bella's friend than I ever was. It was because she was a girl. Even the evil Lauren was drawn to my pixie like sister.

The conversation was boring...at best. Alice's party planning in her head was the interesting topic that I focused on. She was going all out for Bella but I knew that I would stop her if she went too far. Bella did not like attention. Attention is never a good thing for the accident prone. And Bella was an accident magnet.

The rest of the afternoon passed quickly. I was thankful. High school, even with Bella there, was a tedious task that I longed to never have to do again. When we moved away from Forks, we would need a new cover story. Neither me, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and especially Rosalie, wanted to repeat another four years of high school. College was easier to repeat.

At the end of the day, I walked alongside Bella to her rustic truck, as usual. This time I held open the passenger door. Alice had taken my car, making sure that Bella had no escape plan.

"It's my birthday," Bella pouted, "don't I get to drive?"

"I'm pretending it's not your birthday," I replied. "Just as you asked."

"If it's not my birthday, then I don't have to go to your house tonight..." Bella pointed out and she had a point.

"Alright." I shut the door regretfully. I hated being the passenger in her truck. "Happy Birthday," I threw in for good measure.

"Shh," she said as she climbed into the truck.

As we drove down the street at a snail's pace – Bella's truck sounded like a dying animal if you tried to go over 55mph – I fiddled with her radio.

"Your radio has horrible reception," I commented.

"You want a nice stereo? Drive your own car," Bella snapped and I pressed my lips together to keep from smiling. Bella was truly not happy about her birthday.

Bella pulled the truck to a stop in front of her house. I saw nervousness in her eyes as she glanced at the watch on her wrist. Only a few hours to her doom, her eyes read. I reached over to take her face in my hands, pressing the tips of my fingers against her temples, then her cheekbones. She was so soft, so delicate.

"You should be in a good mood, today of all days," I whispered.

Bella's breath was uneven. "And if I don't want to be in a good mood?"

"Too bad."

I leaned closer and pressed my lips against hers. Kissing Bella was a blessing and a curse, invoking two different types of instincts, both equally dangerous. However, as I knew it would, my kiss allowed Bella to temporarily forget about the party, forget about the attention, and focus all her energy on me.

And as usual, Bella let her emotions take over – not a choice for me – and wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me with a little too much enthusiasm, nearly crossing the line I'd so carefully drawn for our physical relationship. Bella wouldn't or couldn't understand how much restraint it took to keep her alive while she was in my arms, her blood boiling under her thin skin.

"Be good please," I pleaded as I pulled away. I grinned at the sound of Bella's thudding heart. It drummed hyperactively as she held her palm up to her chest.

"Do you think I'll ever get better at this?" she wondered out loud. "That my heart might someday stop trying to jump out of my chest whenever you touch me?"

"I really hope not," I answered. I adored Bella's reactions to me. I couldn't help sounding a bit smug at the idea that it was me who caused her to react the way she did.

"Let's go watch the Capulets and Montagues hack each other up, alright?" Bella suggested, rolling her eyes.

"Your wish, my command."

Bella smiled at my words as if they had a secret meaning that I knew nothing about. In fact, if she only knew how true my words were. Whatever Bella wanted I would do...except...

_No!_ I forced the thought out of my head. I wouldn't think about that today. Bella would enjoy the remainder of her birthday. Her disposition would be unpleasant enough. She'd probably sulk all the way to my house. I, however, would not add to her displeasure.

I followed Bella into her house with a sense of familiarity. My scent was everywhere in the small house. I spent more of my time here than anywhere else. I would have it no other way. It pained me to be away from Bella for any length of time.

I made myself comfortable on the couch, lying across it as if it were my own while Bella sat anxiously on the edge, fast-forwarding through the opening credits of the movie.

I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her close to my chest. It had taken me some time to adjust to the fact that Bella enjoyed lying close to my frigid body. From the beginning, she'd never shown the slightest discomfort. I still insisted on wrapping her in an afghan as she pressed her small body closer to mine. I'd caught her teeth chattering on more than one occasion as we laid together on this couch, enjoying our time together before Charlie came home.

As the movie began I watched Bella intently instead of the classic, a favorite of Bella and Esme. Truth be told, Romeo and Juliet was my least favorite of all the Shakespearean works. There is no rhyme or reason to it. Neither one of them had to die.

"You know, I've never had much patience for Romeo," I blurted out.

Bella jolted in my arms. How dare I speak ill of her precious Romeo!

"What's wrong with Romeo?" she asked, a little offended.

"Well, first of all, he's in love with this Rosaline," I answered smoothly. "Don't you think that makes him seem a little fickle?"

I did. If he really truly loved Rosaline, as he claimed, there was no way that another woman would have caught his attention, as Juliet did for him. Either he did not love Rosaline or Juliet was just a phase.

"And then," I continued my explanation, "a few minutes after their wedding he kills Juliet's cousin. That's not very brilliant. Mistake after mistake," I grumbled. "Could he have destroyed his own happiness any more thoroughly?"

Bella's face went through a range of emotions before she settled on mild agitation.

"Do you want me to watch this alone?"

She tried to ease away from me but I held her tighter as my finger traced small circles across the warm flesh of her arms. My cold hard fingers left trails of goose bumps in their wake.

"No," I murmured. "I'll mostly be watching you anyway. Will you cry?"

"Probably, if I'm paying attention."

And I could tell that she wanted to pay attention. I was a complete distraction to Bella, as I'd come to acknowledge in the months since we became a "couple".

I leaned closer, brushing my lips against her silky hair, inhaling her luscious scent.

"I won't disturb you then," I promised and I tried not to but the movie was so tediously boring considering how often I was forced to watch it when the movie was first released back in 1968. Esme would sit for hours watching the tale on our color television set – we were the first to own such a thing – and force us all to watch it with her. It grew to be quite tiresome. And now, here I was again, forty years later, doing the same with Bella.

Bella soon became engrossed in the tale of the two star-crossed lovers. Out of sheer boredom and to see Bella's reaction, I whispered Romeo's sappy lines in her ear as the movie progressed. Bella seemed to melt against my stone chest as I whispered the classic words. Her heart raced and her cheeks became flushed as I imagined that she was envisioning herself as Juliet.

I chuckled softly as the movie came to an end and Bella was shedding silent tears when Juliet woke and found her Romeo dead.

I used a lock of hair to wipe the tears from Bella's wet face. I loved touching Bella's hair. Her hair was long, thick, and so fragrant. Bella's hair was safe, the only thing on her fragile body that I could not break.

"I'll admit, I do sort of envy him here," I uttered.

"She's quite pretty," Bella sighed.

I frowned. Juliet was _just_ pretty. In comparison to Bella, Juliet's so-called beauty was nothing.

"I don't envy the _girl_- just the ease of the suicide.

For a second Bella looked confused.

"You humans have it so easy," I teased. "All you have to do is throw down one tiny vial of plant extracts..."

"What" Bella gasped, sitting up and staring at me.

"It's something I had to think about once, and I knew from Carlisle's experience that it wouldn't be simple. I'm not even sure how many ways Carlisle tried to kill himself in the beginning..." I realized my tone had turned grave so I lightened it. "And he's clearly still in excellent health."

"What are you talking about?" Bella demanded. "What do you mean, this is something that you had to think about once?"

I know she had not forgotten what had happened last spring. Though we rarely spoke of the events that had nearly ended her life in a ballet studio at the teeth of a sadistic vampire – the evidence was scarred on Bella's arm – I was positive that the nightmares that often woke her up in a screaming fit were due to said events.

"Last spring, when you were...nearly killed..." I paused. I wanted to keep this conversation light so I tried to bring back the teasing tone I was using earlier.

"Of course I was trying to focus on finding you alive, but part of my mind was making contingency plans. Like I said, it's not as easy for me as it is for a human."

This was something I had not shared with Bella or any of the other emotionally sensitive females in my family. Only Carlisle and Emmett knew of my thoughts, had it really been necessary.

"Contingency plans?" Bella repeated her eyes wide with horror.

I ran my finger gently along her jaw.

"Well, I wasn't going to live without you," I stated matter of factly. It wasn't like she didn't already know that, considering the measures I would take to keep her safe.

"But," I continued, "I wasn't sure how to do it. I knew Emmett and Jasper would never help. So I was thinking maybe I would go to Italy and do something to provoke the Volturi."

_Ahh, the Volturi._ I hadn't thought bout them in months. The Ancients...the only sure fire way to end my life.

Bella was furious. "What is a Volturi?"

"The Volturi are a family," I explained. "A very old, very powerful family of our kind. They are the closest thing our world has to a royal family, I suppose. Carlisle lived with them briefly in his early years, in Italy, before he settled in America. Do you remember the story?" I asked.

"Of course I remember." Bella's eyes were far away revisiting...._something_.

"Anyway, you don't irritate the Volturi," I continued, interrupting her reverie. "Not unless you want to die or whatever it is that we do."

Carlisle and most others believed that we – vampires – did indeed die, but in order to die you have to believe that we were in fact alive. I do not believe as most others do. I believe that once my kind is destroyed, we simply cease to exist, though dying or death provided an easier explanation. Most people understand death.

Bella placed her hands tightly against my face. I could see the upset swimming in the deep pools of chocolate that were her eyes.

"You must never, never think of anything like that again! No matter what might ever happen to me, you are not allowed to hurt yourself," she ordered.

"I'll never put you in danger again so it's a moot point." I could have easily removed Bella's hands from my face but I liked the feel of her warm hands against my cold skin.

"Put me in danger!" Bella scoffed. "I thought we'd established that all the bad luck is my fault? How dare you even think like that."

On the day that she officially became an adult, Bella no longer resembled the feisty kitten. Her rage had propelled her to a feisty lioness. She was angrier than I've seen her in quite awhile. I understood her pain but she must understand mine.

"What would you do, if the situation were reversed?" I asked her.

"That's not the same thing."

She would say that. Bella always seemed to think that she was inferior to me, that she loved me more than I loved her, as if that were even possible.

"What if something did happen to you?" she questioned me in return. "Would you want me to go _off _myself?"

A twinge of pain shot through me as I realized that Bella was making perfect sense.

"I guess I see your point...a little," I admitted. "But what would I do without you."

"Whatever you were doing before I came along and complicated your existence," was Bella's angered reply.

Go back to doing nothing? Go back to endlessly trying to decipher the meaning of my existence. I'd rather visit the Volturi.

"You make it sound so easy," I sighed.

"It should be. I'm really not that interesting."

I had a few words to disprove her theory right there on the tip of my tongue but we'd had this conversation too many times. Arguing with Bella over whether she was interesting or not was a waste of time.

"Moot point," I said, sitting up abruptly and shifting Bella to the side of me with ease. I could hear her father's cruiser approaching.

"Charlie?" Bella guessed correctly.

I nodded and smiled as Bella gripped my hand. We didn't show too much affection around Charlie, much to Bella's disappointment. If she had her way she would never stop touching me, never stop kissing me. But I explained to her that Charlie was still not comfortable with his daughter being in love.

Charlie entered the house carrying a large pizza box. The smell of freshly baked dough, tangy sauce, and Italian spices made Bella's stomach rumble. I'd grown used to the smell of human food – it no longer stung my nostrils – but still, I did not find it appealing.

"Hey kids," Charlie said and grinned at his daughter. "I thought you'd like a break from cooking and washing dishes for your birthday. Hungry?"

"Sure. Thanks dad."

I politely declined his dinner invitation which bothered Charlie none. He was used to my lack of appetite. He passed it off as me being a "health nut", avoiding regular food to keep my body in great physical condition.

I watched Charlie and Bella retreat to the kitchen. As I did most times when they were together, I avoided listening to their conversation. Charlie deserved some private time with his daughter, especially since I was a constant fixture at the Swan house.

I've always enjoyed the casualness and relaxed way Bella interacted with her father. If she only knew how often he suspected that he not was doing enough for her, not spending enough time with her. I heard it all but I chose not to inform Bella. It would only make her anxious.

When I was sure that they were finished eating, I entered the kitchen slowly. Charlie was still seated while Bella put the remaining pizza in the fridge.

"Do you mind if I borrow Bella for the evening?" I asked Charlie.

Bella glanced at her dad, hopefully, but fate was on my side...or Alice's.

"That's fine," Charlie answered. "The Mariners are playing the Sox tonight so I won't be any kind of company."

Bella's face dropped and I guessed that she was hoping her father had plans for the two of them, anything that would prevent her from having to come to our house.

_What did I say?_ Charlie wondered. _Maybe she doesn't want to go with Edward. Maybe I should have said no. But that's crazy. Bella always wants to be with him. _

Charlie scooped up the camera that was his gift to Bella and tossed it to her.

"Here," he said as we both watched the camera graze Bella's uncoordinated fingertips and tumble to the floor. I grabbed it before Charlie's gift could hit the linoleum and be forever ruined.

"Nice save," Charlie remarked. "If they're doing anything at the Cullens tonight, Bella, you should take some pictures. You know how your mother gets. She'll be wanting to see the pictures faster than you can take them."

'Good idea, Charlie," I added, handing the camera to Bella. Immediately she pointed the camera at me and snapped a picture.

"It works."

"That's good. Hey, say hi to Alice for me." Charlie's mouth pulled down into a slight frown. "She hasn't been over in awhile."

Charlie had developed quite an affinity for my little sister. Last spring, when Bella was injured, Alice had come to his rescue, saving him from the horror of helping his teenage daughter bathe while her leg was encased in a plaster cast. It was a task that I was more than willing to handle myself, but I knew that the suggestion would not be appreciated.

"It's been three days, Dad," Bella teased her father. "I'll tell her."

"Okay, you kids have fun tonight," Charlie dismissed us as he edged towards the living room where his baseball game was about to start.

My mouth turned up into what Bella had proclaimed as my "crooked smile" as I took her hand and led her out of the house to her truck.

I opened the passenger door for her and this time she did not protest about not being allowed to drive her own vehicle. I was grateful for her lack of protest but I knew why. It was dark and Bella, no matter how often she drove to my home, still had a hard time finding the turnoff in the dark.

As usual the ancient truck grumbled and groaned as I drove through Forks. The prehistoric truck hated me as much as I hated it.

"Take it easy," Bella warned as the damned thing started to whine when I tried to push it a few miles over fifty.

Ridiculous!

"You know what you would love? A nice little Audi coupe," I suggested. "Very quiet, lots of power..."

"There's nothing wrong with my truck!" Her mouth twisted into a pout. "And speaking on expensive nonessentials," she added, "if you know what's good for you, you didn't spend any money on birthday presents."

Bella's irrational insistence that I _never _buy her anything was nerve-racking to say the least, but just this once, I had complied and had not _bought_ her anything. I could not say the same for the six other vampires waiting at the house.

"Not a dime," I assured her.

"Good."

"Can you do me a favor, Bella?" I asked hopefully. Bella did not like to be obligated to favors either.

"That depends on what it is."

"Bella," I sighed, watching her lovely face turn serious. "The last real birthday any of us had was Emmett in 1935. Cut us a little slack and don't be too difficult tonight. They're all very excited."

I could tell from the way her shoulders relaxed that Bella had planned on being very difficult and my words had foiled her plan.

"Fine, I'll behave," she conceded.

There was more, and though Emmett had asked me to keep it a secret, there was no way I could not tell Bella who was waiting for her at our house, not when it could possibly displease her.

"I should probably warn you..."

"Please do," Bella interrupted.

"When I say they're all excited...I do mean _all_ of them."

"Everyone?" Bella choked. "I thought Emmet and Rosalie were in Africa."

Emmett and Rosalie – mostl Rose – had decided after graduating from Forks High School they wanted to live apart from the family, as they did from time to time. It was easier for Rosalie to deal with my affection for Bella from afar. The story we gave to anyone who bothered to ask was that Emmett and Rose were off attending Dartmouth.

"Emmett wanted to be here," I told her.

"But...Rosalie?"

"I know, Bella. Don't worry, she'll be on her best behavior," I assured her, attempting to erase the flash of dread that washed over my love's face. Time to change the subject before Bella started to dwell on her tumultuous relationship with my sister.

"So, if you won't let me get you the Audi, isn't there anything that you'd like for your birthday?"

Bella's face changed and my own sense of impending dread took over. I knew what she was going to say.

"You know what I want."

This was my fault. Bella has a one track mind. I should have known that she'd only be on her best behavior once we arrived at the house. Riding in the car did not count. She could torture me with her request without guilt.

"Not tonight, Bella. Please," I added for good measure.

"Well, maybe Alice will give me what I want," she suggested defiantly.

"This is not going to be your last birthday, Bella," I growled.

"That's not fair!"

I clenched my teeth together as anger coursed through my body. There was only one reason for me to ever be angry with Bella and this was it, her incessant desire to become a monster. But I said nothing. Let her protest. Let her beg and plead. I was not going to end her life for her today or any other day. Neither would _anyone_ in my family. My wrath at such an action would keep them from performing the heinous act.

I pulled up to the house. Bright lights sparkled from every window. Alice and Esme had done a beautiful job. They'd hung a long line of Japanese lanterns from the porch eaves that cast a soft glow over the yard and trees surrounding our home.

Crystal bowls filled with pink rose petals lined the stairs leading up to the front door. I was surprised that Esme had allowed Alice to use her fine crystal for such an occasion. Bella's clumsiness was a running joke in my household. I envisioned her tripping up the stairs over an invisible crack and imagined the pained look on Esme's face when her magnificent crystal was crushed.

Bella took a lingering glance at the elaborate decorations and moaned.

"This is a party," I reminded her. "Try to be a good sport."

"Sure," she muttered.

I wanted Bella to be happy. It was not normal for a teenage girl not to be ecstatic on her eighteenth birthday. What I wouldn't give to have an eighteenth birthday. Alice felt the same. And Rosalie, I'm sure would love to be able to have hers again.

I opened Bella's door and offered my hand, which she took.

"I have a question," she stated. Inside I groaned and said nothing.

"If I develop this film, will you show up in the picture?"

I laughed. After eight months, Bella still questioned some of the Hollywood vampire myths. I remembered Emmett's reaction when he found out that most of the vampire myths were untrue and was still laughing as I opened the front door to my house.

A loud chorus of "Happy Birthday Bella!" greeted us as we entered the living room. Bella faltered at the scene in front of her. Alice had gone overboard, as usual. I wrapped an encouraging arm around Bella's waist as I sensed her obvious distress.

Overboard wasn't quite the correct term to use. Alice had covered every flat surface in the room with pink candles and more crystal bowls filled with flowers. I didn't even know Esme owned all that crystal. She'd even set up a table next to my piano that held a pink birthday cake that could have fed the entire student body at Forks High School. There were more roses on the table, a stack of plates – for who? – and a small pile of Bella's dreaded presents.

And six happy and excited vampires smiled at the birthday girl...well five. Rosalie wasn't smiling but at least she wasn't glaring at Bella like she normally did. I commended her effort.

Carlisle and Esme were standing closest to us and they moved towards Bella first. Esme hugged her and kissed her forehead. My mother adored Bella.

"Sorry about this, Bella," Carlisle whispered as he put his arm around her shoulders. "We couldn't rein Alice in."

"You haven't changed at all," Emmett boomed. It had been months since he'd seen his little sister, as he proclaimed Bella to be. "I expected a perceptible difference, but here you are, red-faced just like always.

The blush that spread across Bella's cheeks was bright red and Emmett's words only caused her to blush deeper. I smiled as her cheeks went from red to crimson.

"Thanks a lot, Emmett," she replied.

He laughed. "I have to step out for a second." No one missed the conspicuous wink at Alice. "Don't do anything funny while I'm gone."

"I'll try," Bella couldn't help but smile.

Alice let go of Jasper's hand and skipped forward. Jasper smiled at Bella as well but maintained a safe distance from her. It was still hard for Jasper to be around humans. Bella's scent invoked hunger pains, which we did not need tonight.

"Time to open presents," Alice trilled and put her hand under Bella's elbow. Bella could not keep her feet from not moving as Alice dragged her to the cake table.

"Alice, I know I told you I didn't want anything -"

"But I didn't listen," Alice interrupted smugly. Alice never listened to what Bella wanted. When it came to Bella, Alice thought she knew best. She took the camera that Bella was clutching tightly and replaced it with a big silver box. The gift was from Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper.

_Car stereo,_ Rosalie informed me. _He's installing it now._

Self consciously Bella tore the paper off the box and stared at it...confused. Then she opened it, revealing nothing except an empty box.

"Um...thanks."

Rosalie actually smiled as Jasper laughed.

"It's a stereo for your truck," Jasper explained. "Emmett's installing it right now so that you can't return it."

"Thanks, Jasper, Rosalie," Bella said graciously. "Thanks Emmett," she called out.

Emmett's booming laugh from outside made everyone in the room laugh too. And for once that day, Bella looked happy.

"Open mine and Edward's next," Alice said. Excitement was written all over her face. She'd never been so happy to throw a party.

Bella turned to me with a basilisk glare. "You promised."

I shook my head but before I could answer Emmett bounded through the door. He and Jasper moved closer to us to get a better look at Bella's next gift.

"Just in time!"

I chuckled at my brother and brushed a strand of hair from Bella's face.

"I didn't spend a dime," I assured her.

Bella took a deep, defeated breath and turned to Alice. "Give it to me."

The happiness that she was causing my family was not lost on Bella. As much as she loved the Cullen clan, I should have known that she would have done everything in her power to make this day as special for us as Alice had done for her.

Still, she rolled her eyes playfully at me as she took the small silver package from Alice's hand and stuck her finger under the edge of the paper.

"Shoot," Bella muttered. At once I looked down at her hand. _Paper cut._

A tiny drop of blood oozed from the tiny cut on her finger but that was enough. The floral, intoxicating scent of Bella's blood filled the room and every fear I had imagined manifested itself in my living room. Too quickly.

Jasper was the first to move, his eyes ravished with blood thirst. He was moving at an unstoppable pace. Carlisle reached out to grab him and missed.

"No!" I roared and threw myself at Bella...too hard, too sudden. She crashed into the table, scattering the plates, flowers, cake, and presents. She fell to the ground, landing in a pile of shattered glass.

Jasper slammed into me, sending a deafening roar through the house. I understood that he was not himself. The smell...the scent of fresh human blood was too powerful. That did not stop me from squaring off in front of him, a grisly snarl coming from Jasper's throat.

My own brother was wild, as fresh blood poured out of Bella's open wounds caused by landing into jagged shards of glass. He snapped his teeth at me, inches from my face. I knew at once that I would have to fight my brother. I crouched into my fighting stance and growled.

Emmett grabbed Jasper from behind and held him tightly; still Jasper struggled to get to Bella. I did not know how long he could hold him. The scent was overtaking Emmett's senses as well. Before I knew it, all the members of my family were feeling the affects of the blood. I stared into the eyes of six ravenous vampires. I could not fight them all. This was not happening!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"Emmett, Rose, get Jasper outside."

Carlisle's voice was authoritative. He had quickly – quicker than anyone else – regained his composure. His decades...centuries of medical practice kicked in. He was not a vampire who'd just caught of whiff of human blood. He was Dr. Carlisle Cullen.

Emmett nodded his head. "Come on Jasper," he snarled.

It was a rare occasion for my easy going brother to get angry, especially at any of us. But at this moment, Emmett was mad! He tightened his already steel grip on Jasper.

Jasper twisted and struggled, still trying to get to Bella. I crouched lower in my defensive stance over her as Jasper flailed his arms aimlessly, his eyes beyond reason. I could not talk, I could not breathe either. Breathing in Bella's scent would only worsen the situation for me.

Carlisle repeated his command and Rose stepped in front of Jasper after throwing a smug glance my way.

_You knew this would happen eventually,_ Rosalie thought. _Just be happy Emmett got to him first._

Her words stung but I could not help but believe that she was right.

Esme held the back glass door open, one hand covering her mouth and nose, as Emmett and Rose wrestled Jasper through the door. She looked ashamed.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," she cried as she escaped into the backyard.

"Calm down, Jasper, damnit," I heard Rose yell. "You're messing up my hair."

"If you so much as rip my shirt with your teeth," Emmett snarled, "I swear to God, I'm gonna rip your freakin arms off, Jazz!"

Only Carlisle and Alice were left in the living room. Alice was in a state of utter dismay. I could not blame her. Bella was hurt and bleeding; her party was ruined, all because of the actions of her own mate.

I had not moved from my crouch over Bella. I was staring out the glass into the darkness, searching to see a quick flash of white that would indicate that Jasper had broken free of Emmett and Rosalie and was heading back to the house. I did not see anything.

"Let me by, Edward," Carlisle murmured.

I nodded slowly and relaxed so that he could move to Bella's side. I looked at Bella, on the floor, shock frozen on her precious face. A sick feeling rose up from my stomach. If I could vomit I would have. I was that repulsed by the monsters that we were.

Carlisle kneeled beside Bella, examining the fresh cut on her arm. I trusted Carlisle with her. Finally, I was slowly able to look away.

"Here Carlisle," Alice said, offering him a towel she had quickly retrieved from the kitchen.

But Carlisle shook his head. "Too much glass in the wound." He reached over and ripped a thin scrap from the bottom of the linen tablecloth, then twisted it around Bella's arm to form a tourniquet.

"Bella," Carlisle spoke softly. "Do you want me to drive you to the hospital, or would you like me to take care of it here?"

"Here, please," Bella whispered. As much as she was forced to visit them, Bella hated hospitals.

"I'll get your bag," Alice said and then disappeared.

Carlisle looked at me. "Let's take her to the kitchen table."

Allowing Carlisle to maintain pressure on Bella's arm, I lifted her effortlessly and carried her into the kitchen. The smell of blood – her own blood – was making Bella queasy. She did not protest because at this moment, she was in fact helpless.

"How are you doing, Bella?" Carlisle asked.

"I'm fine," she answered, her voice steady with false bravado. She glanced at me to see how I was handling the situation.

I was not handling it well. Even though I was not breathing, my throat burned with the intensity of the thirst that I had believed I'd overcome.

I had believed that I was over it. I had believed, that despite the appeal of Bella's blood which I endured every day, once I had tasted it, I would be able to resist forever. I was wrong...so wrong.

In the instance that the tiny drop of blood breached the surface of Bella's skin, I felt the monster in me roar.

Bella looked at my face, hard and unmoving and sighed.

"Just go, Edward."

"I can handle it," I lied through my clenched teeth.

"You don't need to be a hero," Bella stated. "Carlisle can fix me up without your help. Get some fresh air."

Fresh, untainted air was exactly what I needed to clear my mind. But I would not leave her, especially when she winced as Carlisle injected her with a local anesthetic.

"I'll stay."

"Why are you so masochistic?" Bella mumbled.

_Masochistic._ My own words, uttered in the meadow, just months ago.

_So, the lion fell in love with the lamb..._

_What a sick masochistic lion..._I didn't know the truth of those words when I had spoken them.

"Edward," I heard Carlisle say. "You may as well go find Jasper before he gets too far. I'm sure he's upset with himself and I doubt he'll listen to anyone but you right now."

"Yes," Bella eagerly agreed. "Go find Jasper."

"You might as well do something useful," Alice chimed in and handed Carlisle his medical bag.

My eyes narrowed at her but I had to get out of there. I sprinted through the door. Not long after, Alice was right beside me. We ran silently through the trees until we found Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper standing in the middle of a small clearing. All were fuming. Alice rushed over to Jasper and put her arms around him. He brushed her off easily.

"It's okay, honey," Alice spoke. "Bella's okay."

"Leave me alone!" Jasper yelled, most likely to all of us, not just Alice.

"Edward, talk to him," Esme pleaded.

I looked at the tortured expression on Jasper's face, wondering how anyone thought _I _would be able to help him. But now that he was thinking clearly, he felt horrible over what had transpired.

_Edward, I'm so sorry. I don't know what happened...I would never hurt Bella._

"Damn it, Jazz," Emmett boomed angrily. "What the hell were you thinking?"

"Excuse me, but what exactly did he do that was wrong?" Rosalie questioned and at once, five pairs of amber eyes glared at her with fury. She was not intimidated.

"Stare all you want but you know I'm right," Rosalie argued. "He acted as we all have done at least once. We're vampires, remember? We all know that Jasper hasn't been restraining himself for as long as the rest of us. What did you think was going to happen?" The last question was directed at me.

"Rose, don't make it seem like what I did was normal or even okay," Jasper stated. "I...I _attacked_ Bella." His words came out a choked whisper.

With a deep moan, Jasper slumped to the ground, holding his head with his hands.

"Jazz," Alice tried to comfort him. "It's okay. You didn't hurt Bella. She's okay."

"Just leave me alone," Jasper pleaded. "Everyone just please go away."

Alice stepped away sadly. Though she hated to be away from him, especially in his current state, she was the first to oblige his request. The others followed but I remained.

Jasper's remorse was real. Immediately I forgave him. No doubt that Bella would too. He knew that.

_I can't live this life, Edward._

"Yes, you can," I said, sitting on the ground next to him. But Jasper shook his head.

"I don't want to be that kind of...monster again," he said, referring to the life he had before meeting Alice and joining us. "But I don't know if I can completely resist. I was doing well until..."

"Jazz, you're not the only one who has a past to escape. It's difficult but you do it for the same reason that we all do. We are not monsters...at least we don't have to be."

"Edward, tell Bella I'm sorry. I don't think I can face her right now."

I nodded. "I will."

_It's going to take me awhile to be around her. _Jasper held his head in shame. He next thought surprised me.

_I think I need to go away for awhile. She's around...a lot._

"Jasper, that's not a good idea. If you go, then Alice goes too. With Em and Rose away, you know Esme will be so upset."

"I have to go," Jasper reiterated. "I'll convince Alice to stay." But we both knew that would be impossible.

"Go back to Bella, Edward. I want to be alone."

I obliged but Jasper's decision left me rearing. Alice would not let him leave without her, though it would devastate Esme. And in a disturbing way, the breakup of my family was my fault. Rose and Emmett were away because of my relationship with Bella. Soon Alice and Jasper would be gone too, for the same reason.

_What was I doing to my family? _When had I become so decidedly selfish?

I slowly walked back to the house, contemplating my next decision. It seemed that the only way to keep my family together and still be with Bella was to make her one of us. I shuddered at the tragic thought. _There had to be another way._

I walked past Esme and Rosalie, ignoring Rosalie's icy glare and blocking out their thoughts with my own. I had to think of something...something that would bring my family together and keep Bella alive.

I approached the glass door. Bella and Carlisle were engaged in a heavy conversation. I listened, not eager to interrupt and face Bella's hidden wrath.

"Elizabeth's words echoed in my head. How could she guess what I could do? Could anyone really want that for her son?"

Carlisle was telling Bella how he decided to change me. _Why that story? Why now?_

"I looked at Edward," Carlisle continued. "Sick as he was, he was still beautiful. There was something pure and good about his face. The kind of face I would have wanted my son to have."

I scoffed at Carlisle's words. There was nothing good or pure about me. I was horrible. I led Bella along, knowing how dangerous it was for her to be with me. Where was the goodness in that?

"After all those years of indecision," Carlisle was speaking again. "I simply acted on a whim. I wheeled his mother to the morgue first, and then I came back for him. No one noticed that he was still breathing. There weren't enough hands, enough eyes, to keep track of half of what the patients needed. The morgue was empty- of the living at least. I stole him out of the back door and carried him across the rooftops back to my home."

Bella had asked many times about how I came to be. I could not tell her from experience, only what I'd been told by Carlisle. My human memories were vague, at the very least. Now she was getting the gruesome story first hand.

"I wasn't sure what had to be done," Carlisle said to Bella as he wrapped a bandage tightly around her arm. Thankfully, I'd missed all of the stitching and sewing.

"I settled for recreating the wounds I'd received myself, so many centuries earlier in London. I felt bad about that later. It was more painful and lingering than necessary. I wasn't sorry, though. I've never been sorry that I saved Edward." Carlisle shook his head, finished with the past and back to the present. He smiled at Bella.

"I supposed I should take you home now."

I stepped into the kitchen at that moment. "I'll do that."

I looked at Bella. She looked well enough but then again, Bella could hide her emotions very well.

"Carlisle can take me," she said, confirming what I already believed. Bella was too afraid of what had taken place, of the look in my eyes, that she did not feel safe. I did not want her to feel that way. The moment had passed. I would not hurt her.

I looked down at Bella's shirt and grimaced. The light blue cotton was spotted with her blood. Her right shoulder was covered in pink frosting.

"I'm fine," I replied. "You'll need to change anyway. You'd give Charlie a heart attack the way you look. I'll have Alice get you something."

I walked out the door to get Alice. She was talking to Rosalie and their conversation abruptly came to a halt when I approached.

"Alice –"

"Edward, what are you going to do about that girl?" Rosalie interrupted. "Jasper's talking about leaving. You know that will kill Esme!"

"First of all, that girl has a name," I fired back. "And I haven't made a decision yet. When I do, you'll be the first to know. I'll phone you in Africa," I added sarcastically.

"Alice, can you come inside for a second? Bella needs a different shirt."

"Sure, Edward," Alice said and we started to the house.

"Don't give her any of my clothes," Rosalie yelled. "I don't want her scent on my stuff."

Alice hurried to Bella's side and ushered her upstairs. A few minutes later, they returned. Bella was wearing one of Esme's shirts, similar in color to the one that was now ruined. With Charlie's less than stellar eye for detail and the probability that his game was still on, he'd never notice the difference. He most likely would not be surprised by Bella's arm wrapped in gauze. He was used to it.

I waited by the front door. As soon as Bella reached the bottom of the staircase, I held it open. It was time to go.

"Take your things," Alice cried, thrusting Bella's remaining two gifts and her camera into her arms. "You can thank me later when you open them."

Esme and Carlisle both said goodnight and I did not miss the quick glances they stole at me.

_She's fine, dear, _Esme thought. _Everything will work out._

_Don't make any rash decisions, Edward. Come back to the house and we'll discuss it as a family. _That came from Carlisle.

Once outside, Bella hurried to the truck. We made it to the truck at the same time. I opened the door and she climbed into the cab in a hurry, anxious to get home, I bet. She did not even want my help.

Once inside, I pushed the truck to its limit, driving too fast down the dark serpentine street _away_ from my house.

"Say something," Bella said, breaking the uncomfortable silence between us as I turned onto the freeway.

"What do you want me to say?" I asked. My voice resembled my thoughts, detached and far away.

Bella cringed but regained her composure. "Tell me you forgive me."

"Forgive you?" I asked angrily. "For what?"

"If I'd been more careful, nothing would have happened," Bella hastily explained her ridiculous notion.

"Bella, you gave yourself a paper cut – that hardly deserves the death penalty."

"It's still my fault," she replied.

_Her fault! Absurd. _I would not allow Bella to blame herself for this.

"Your fault? If you'd cut yourself at Mike Newton's house, with Jessica there and Angela, and your other normal friends, the worst that could possibly happen would be what? Maybe they couldn't find you a bandage? If you'd tripped and knocked over a pile of glass plates – without someone throwing you into them – even then, what's the worst? You'd get blood on the seats when they drove you to the emergency room. Mike Newton could have held your hand while they stitched you up and he wouldn't be fighting the urge to kill you the whole time he was there. Don't try to take any of this on yourself, Bella. It will only make me more disgusted with myself."

"How the hell did Mike Newton end up in this conversation?" Bella yelled, missing the point of my tirade entirely.

"Mike Newton ended up in this conversation because Mike Newton would be hell of a lot healthier for you to be with," I growled.

I knew there was nothing Bella could say to make the situation better, yet I had no idea that she could make it worse.

"I'd rather die than be with Mike Newton," she protested. "I'd rather die than be with anyone but you."

"Don't be melodramatic, please."

"Well then, don't you be ridiculous."

We drove the rest of the way in a silent standoff.

My mind raced faster than the speed of this ridiculous truck. What type of _person_ had I become to allow something like this to happen? Before meeting Bella, I would not have contemplated ever bringing a human home. Our vampire instincts were too strong, as Jasper had proven.

That was not the only reason.

I was not comfortable with the life that I'd been given. For decades I'd been a brooding, melancholy being, simply going through life _existing_, not necessarily living. Since meeting Bella, my existence had become more substantial. She was the rainbow in my everlasting midnight sky. Still, she was human and I could not have her forever.

The realization that something...anything, could take her away from me was stored in the back of my brain. Bella insisted that nothing could keep her from me, but tonight proved just the opposite. Something – human, vampire, animal, disease, accident – would eventually take her from me and my world would be black again.

I killed the engine after pulling in front of the Swan house. I clenched the steering wheel as tight as I possibly could without damaging it. I did not know what was about to happen next and I detested being unclear in my decision making.

"Will you stay tonight?" Bella asked quietly.

I remembered what Carlisle said before we left.

"I should go home."

"For my birthday," Bella pressed.

"You can't have it both ways – either you want people to ignore your birthday or you don't. One or the other."

"Okay," Bella replied. "I've decided that I don't want you to ignore my birthday. I'll see you upstairs."

Bella hopped out of the truck and reached back inside for her packages.

I frowned at her and sighed. "You don't have to take those." They were _birthday gifts_ after all. I'm sure, after what happened, my family would understand.

"I want them," Bella insisted.

"No, you don't. Carlisle and Esme spent money on you."

"I'll live," Bella answered and tucked the gifts awkwardly under her non bandaged arm. I jumped out of the truck and stopped her.

"Let me carry them, at least." I took the packages. "I'll be in your room."

"Thanks." Bella smiled. I couldn't help but to wonder what there was to smile about.

"Happy Birthday," I said for the second time that day. I leaned down to briefly touch my lips against hers.

When Bella reached up to pull me closer, to make the kiss last longer, I pulled away as was my habit and ran to her bedroom window.

I sat on her bed, toying with her gifts. How did what should have been a perfect day turn into something so tragic?

How could I have allowed things to become so bad? How could I make it right for everyone involved?

Bella entered the bed, in her pajamas, before I could answer any of my questions. The sight of the white gauze on her arm pierced my heart.

_What had I done?_

"Hi," I said, my voiced sadder than I intended.

Bella came to the bed, pushed the presents out of my hands, and climbed into my lap.

"Hi." She snuggled into my chest. "Can I open my presents now?"

"Where did all this enthusiasm come from?" I wondered aloud.

Bella picked up Carlisle and Esme's gift, no doubtedly the best gift, the one Bella would appreciate the most.

"You made me curious."

I took the flat package out of her hands. No need for a repeat performance. I could smell the antiseptic mixed with fresh blood through the bandage.

"Allow me," I said and tore off the silver wrapping paper. I handed the box back to Bella.

"Are you sure I can handle lifting the lid?" Bella grumbled.

It took her a minute to realize what she was looking at but when she did, a wave of contagious excitement washed over her face.

"We're going to Jacksonville?" she asked while reading over the fine print on the voucher for two plane tickets...for me and her.

"That's the idea."

"I can't believe it," she yelped in my lap. "Renee is going to flip! You don't mind, though?" she asked me. "It's sunny. You'll have to stay inside all day."

"I think I can handle it," I said. I was thinking that if she planned on going soon, she should see if Angela or Jessica would like to go. Maybe the answer I'd been searching for was for Bella and I to spend some time apart.

_No, that wouldn't be the answer._ Time apart from Bella would be detrimental to us both.

"If I had any idea that you could respond to a gift this appropriately, I would have made you open it in front of Carlisle and Esme. I thought you'd complain," I stated, distracting myself from my own horrid thoughts.

"Well, of course, it's too much," Bella replied but I could hear the excitement still in her voice. "But I get to take you with me!"

_So much for that plan._

"Now I wish I'd spend money on your present. I didn't realize that you were capable of being reasonable."

Rolling her eyes, Bella set the tickets aside and reached for my gift. Again, I slid the gift out of her hands and unwrapped it like the last one. No more mistakes. I handed her the clear CD case. It wasn't much but then again, I wasn't allowed to buy gifts. I had to be creative.

"What is it?" Bella asked, perplexed as she stared at the silver CD.

I didn't answer. Instead I took the CD and put it in her CD player on the bedside table. I hit play and watched Bella's face as the music began.

She listened, wide-eyed, but did not speak as my music, my compilations that she adored so much, played around us.

Tears welled up in her eyes and she reached up to wipe them away.

"Does your arm hurt?" I asked anxiously. Why else would she cry?

"No, it's not my arm. It's beautiful, Edward. You couldn't have given me anything I would love more. I can't believe it," she whispered.

"I didn't think you would let me get a piano so I could play for you here," I commented.

"You're right."

"How does your arm feel?"

"Just fine," she lied. Her eyes told me the truth. Bella was in pain.

"I'll get you some Tylenol."

"I don't need anything," she protested but I slid her off my lap and headed for the door anyway.

"Charlie!" Bella hissed.

Charlie was unaware that I spent most nights at his house, in Bella's room, while he slept. And we wanted to keep it that way. Even though Charlie was awake now, he was too engrossed in the baseball game. Besides, he would have never heard my silent footsteps. I'm a vampire. Stealth is our specialty.

"He won't catch me," I promised as I slipped out of the room. I returned seconds later with a small bottle of pills and a glass of water. I handed both to Bella accompanied by a stern warning look. No argument ensued.

"It's late," I noted after she had gulped down two pills. I then scooped her up off the bed with one arm and pulled the covers back with the other.

Gently I placed Bella back on the bed with her head on the pillow. As usual, I lay down next to her - on top of the blanket that was tucked under her. This was my quiet time, these moments with Bella.

She leaned her head against my shoulder. A happy sigh escaped her lips.

"Thanks again," she whispered.

"You're welcome."

The song I'd composed for her – aptly named "Bella's Lullaby" – ended and Esme's favorite piece began. It was calming as the song played, my mind drifted.

Being here, in this space, with Bella seemed so perfect..._so right._ But what happened this evening could not be ignored. What happened was our reality. I had allowed Bella to enter our world. I'd allowed her to feel as if she was safe and protected, as if the seven of us were normal. I had put Bella's life in danger and that was unacceptable. That was wrong.

"What are you thinking about?" Bella whispered. I had not noticed that she was staring at me.

I hesitated to answer. I did not want Bella to agonize over my bad judgment.

"I was thinking about right and wrong, actually," I answered and left it at that. Bella would ask more clarifying questions that I would selectively answer.

"Remember how I decided that I wanted you to _not_ ignore my birthday?" Bella asked.

In my own reverie I'd forgotten how perceptive Bella was. She had picked up on my mood and was trying to distract me.

"Yes," I answered, wary of where she was going with her line of questioning.

"Well, I was thinking, since it's still my birthday, that I'd like you to kiss me again."

"You're greedy tonight."

Bella nodded but looked a little piqued.

"Yes I am, but please, don't do anything you don't want to do."

"Heaven forbid that I should do anything I don't want to do."

Bella knew my weaknesses so well when it came to her. Lying on the bed, so soft, so beautiful, it was hard to resist her. Bella knew that I wanted nothing more than to press my mouth against hers.

I put my hand under her chin and gently lifted her face to mine. I pressed my lips against hers, inhaling her fragrant aroma. Her heart raced and emotion – a great sense of need – overcame me.

I kissed her more urgently, crushing my lips to hers and she twisted her body close to mine. One of my hands snaked through her hair and held her more securely to me. I was crossing my own lines as I felt her hands tangle in my hair. I could hear the blood rushing through her veins. I could smell the desire in the air. My throat burned feverishly, but I needed this, needed her. I could not pull away.

My tongue explored her warm mouth as I pressed my body against hers. Fire and ice, we were as my hands caressed the small of her back. Bella softly moaned with pleasure as my cool breath washed over her warm neck. I placed my lips against the base of her throat, kissing her there while I listened to her erratic heartbeat. Fire burned through me. Temptation almost overcame me...almost.

I stopped abruptly. I could not continue and at that very moment a decision was made.

Bella collapsed back onto her pillow, gasping for air.

"Sorry," I whispered breathlessly. "That was out of line."

"_I _don't mind," Bella panted.

I frowned at her. Her not minding was the essence of our problem.

"Try to sleep, Bella."

"No, I want you to kiss me again."

"You're over-estimating my self-control."

"Which is tempting you more, my blood or my body?" she asked, rather seductively.

I answered truthfully. "It's a tie. Now why don't you stop pushing your luck and go to sleep?"

"Fine," she agreed and snuggled closer to me.

I watched as she drifted off to sleep, the exhaustion of a trying day was finally catching up to her. Bella pressed her injured arm against my shoulder – no doubt that my cold hard skin was serving as an ice pack – and I felt a twinge of sorrow.

She was the most perfect girl in the world and for tonight, she was mine. I did not want the sun to rise. That was when I'd have to leave her and have a conversation with my family. I could only wish that they would understand and respect my decision.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

The sun rose – too quickly – casting a soft yellow glow over Bella as she slept. She'd had a difficult night, tossing and turning in her sleep. Her bandaged arm hurt through the night. It tormented me to see her in so much pain. I waited until she stirred before leaning over to whisper in her ear.

"Bella, honey, it's time to get up." Bella no longer needed her alarm clock. She had me.

She shifted in my arms, then lazily opened her eyes.

"Oh, no," she groaned. "Already?"

"Yes," I said softly. "And Charlie will be up soon."

I kissed her forehead quickly. "I'll see you at school."

I quickly ducked out of the second story window before Bella was fully awake. If she'd seen the anxiety on my face or the distress in my eyes, our cover would have been blown. Bella would not have let me leave.

I jogged through the thick forest, pondering what I would say to my family who would be looking to me for answers. I wondered if they would be receptive to my idea. But could I really keep Bella safe if we ran away together? Would it be running away? She was eighteen now. Maybe Charlie would just see it as Bella leaving home...or maybe he'd have the FBI after me.

If she was with me and only me, I believe I could protect her. There wasn't much of chance that we'd run into more vampires and of course, we'd visit from time to time. But what would Alice be like without her best friend? Taking Bella away from Forks, to live alone with her, would mean that I was taking her away from Alice and her father. Maybe that would be too much.

I approached the house cautiously. Alice should have been getting ready for school but I did not hear her usual musical hum as she styled her hair or her incessant chatter detailing her ever growing wardrobe.

What I did hear were quiet whispers and CNN blaring loudly in the background, as if the noise could drown out their thoughts.

They were all in the living room – trying to be casual – when I entered. The smell of bleach, from Esme's cleaning attempt, lingered in the air. Emmett and Rosalie sat next to each other on the sofa, having another of their "moments". I rolled my eyes. Sometimes their love could be so annoying.

Jasper and Alice were sharing a chair while Carlisle and Esme sat next to each other on the loveseat. With the exception of the _lovebirds_, everyone's expression was grim. Jasper's was especially tortured. I took the other empty chair, expecting all eyes to be on me but no one looked at me. I decided to speak first anyway.

"You guys-" I started but Jasper stopped me.

"No Edward," he said. "I would like to speak first."

At his words all eyes turned to him.

_What is he doing? _I wondered.

"I want to apologize to you all for my behavior last night," he started. "I disgraced this family and all that we stand for. Edward, I am so sorry for making you and Bella feel unsafe. I promise – no, I swear – that will never happen again."

"With that said," he took a breath, "I'm going to leave here for awhile."

A loud gasp escaped Esme's lips. Carlisle put his arm around her shoulders.

"Is that really necessary?" Esme asked. "Please don't go."

Jasper smiled at Esme, an instant calm went over the room.

"It's okay, Esme. I will return to you. I just need some time alone. I won't be gone forever. Just long enough…"

_For Edward to decide what to do about Bella,_ he thought then flashed a guilty look my way.

"Jasper, where will you go? To Denali?" Carlisle asked.

"I haven't decided yet."

"Alice, are you going too?" Rose asked. Alice nodded. Of course she would go. She'd be wherever Jasper was.

"Jasper, you don't have to go anywhere," I said. "This happened because of my bad judgment. The family needs to remain intact."

"And have you decided what you're going to do?" Rose asked me.

Carlisle and Esme appeared confused.

"Do about what?"

"The _Bella_ situation," the words were like venom in Rosalie's mouth.

"What Bella situation?" Esme asked. "There's no Bella situation."

"Edward, you wanna clarify that?" Rose asked me pointedly. I really wished she would shut up but my sister, as beautiful and evil as she was, was definitely enjoying my discomfort.

"Bella…" I began, "well, she's not one of us. That's the situation in a nutshell. I've allowed things to go to far with her. I shouldn't have jeopardized our family or her safety."

"Edward, that's absurd," Esme replied. "What happened in Phoenix was risky but it wasn't your fault. And what happened last night was nothing."

"Nothing?" I scoffed. "Bella was almost killed!" As soon as the words left my mouth, I felt horrible. I looked at Jasper apologetically. The pain on his face was clear.

"I have to leave," Jasper uttered and rose quickly from his chair. He was out of the door before anyone could stop him.

_See what you did,_ Rose thought but was smart enough to keep her accusatory words in her head.

"I'll get him," Alice said, and ran after Jasper.

"Oh, this is not good," Esme moaned.

"Edward's over dramatizing this," Emmett complained. "It's not that serious. Nothing happened. Bella did not almost _die_. Jasper didn't even get close. And I doubt that he would have actually _bitten_ Bella."

"I agree," Carlisle finally spoke up. "Edward, I know how concerned you are about Bella's safety, but you must be rational about this. We all love Bella. We'd never allow anything to happen to her."

I desperately wanted to believe Carlisle but the image of Jasper and James before that continued to play in my head, mercilessly torturing me. No matter what was said, Bella was not safe in my world.

"There's an easy solution," Emmett added. "Change her. She wants it anyway. Just do it and be done with the whole matter."

"No!" Rosalie and I both exclaimed. I was appalled at Emmett's callous suggestion but I had no idea Rosalie felt the same way.

"I just don't think forcing an eighteen year old girl to give up her human life – whether she wants to or not – is the best idea," Rosalie explained. "Don't do it, Edward." Her amber eyes pleaded with me.

'I'm not," I answered. "That is absolutely not an option. If you wish, you can all help me come up with an alternate plan – one that does not include turning Isabella Swan into a vampire!" I rose from my chair and stormed out of the door. I had to get to school. Bella would be worried if I was not there.

It was only a matter of minutes before I reached the high school. I was enraged with my family. How could the only one who agreed with me, the only one to take my side be _Rosalie_? She and I were_ never_ on the same page.

I pulled my car into an empty space, listening for the rumble of Bella's truck and warring with my own thoughts. As much as I was opposed to changing Bella, was it the only way that my family could stay together?

Esme and Carlisle supported Emmett's suggestion. They hadn't spoken on it, however I _knew_. They did not have to _say_ anything. I am pretty confident that Alice and Jasper would agree as well. Alice and Bella's friendship was deeper than I've ever thought it would be. Maybe because of Alice's vision. She had seen Bella as one of us. Knowing that her best friend would be around forever cemented their friendship. Alice had been wrong before though. She had also saw that I would kill Bella and that had not happened. I felt comfort in knowing that Alice wasn't always right.

I was not so engrossed in my personal battle going on in my head that I missed the familiar rumble of Bella's Chevy. I stepped out of my car, amidst the anger and jealous thoughts of Mike Newton and his friends.

_Oh great, Cullen's here._

_What does she see in him? What do they have in common besides their lack of melanin?_

_My God, how did Bella Swan manage to snag Edward freakin Cullen and keep him for this long? Her va-jay jay must be lined in fur._

That last distasteful remark came from Lauren. No wonder she and Bella did not get along.

I met Bella at her truck and opened her door. Her light jacket and long sleeved shirt concealed her bandaged arm. But she winced when she reached for her bookbag. Her face was anxious as her eyes searched my face for any indication of my mood. My face was still and expressionless. I would not let Bella see that something was torturing me.

"How do you feel?"

"Perfect." She cringed and I wished Bella would tell me the truth, with her mouth, not her eyes. Her deep chocolate eyes always told me the truth.

We walked towards the school in silence. Bella's questioning eyes roamed the parking lot and then the hallways. I knew who she was looking for and the reason she hadn't asked me how _I _was…Alice. She was saving all of her questions for my sister, who would not betray Bella's trust by sugarcoating the details.

The morning passed slowly, more slowly than it ever had. I was not used to this silence from Bella. I could see the wheels turning in her head as she thought of more questions that she wanted to ask Alice at lunch. It saddened me that she would not get that opportunity. Alice was long gone with Jasper and no one knew when they would be back.

Alice usually beat us to lunch, waiting patiently with a tray of food – a prop. Bella's heart raced in her chest when she noticed Alice's absence. I led her through the line and bought her lunch. No one bothered to question why I did not have a tray of my own. In fact, most people thought I wasn't feeling well. Truthfully, I was not well but not in the way my teachers and Bella's friends thought.

"Where's Alice?" Bella asked me.

I looked down at the granola bar that was crumbling between my fingertips. So consumed with my own thoughts I had not even realized I picked it up. However, it was symbolic of how I was feeling.

"She's with Jasper," I admitted.

"Is he okay?"

"He's gone for awhile," I mumbled.

Bella looked surprised. "What? Where?"

I shrugged. "Nowhere in particular."

"And Alice too?" Bella asked with quiet desperation.

"Yes," I answered slowly. "She'll be gone for awhile. She was trying to convince him to go to Denali," I assumed.

Denali was our safe place. It was a familiar place. We – well, "the kids" as Carlisle and Esme referred to us – had all ran there at least once, when the pressure of our lifestyle overwhelmed us.

Bella's expression was sad and guilty. Whatever she was feeling made her head bow and shoulders slump. She winced in pain.

"Is your arm hurting you?"

"Who cares about my stupid arm?" she snapped in disgust as she put her head on the table.

Those were the last words spoken between us for the remainder of the school day.

The silence was ridiculous. Never had I imagined that Bella would not want to talk to me. She seemed fine last night. It was times like these when I wished that I could hear what she was thinking, if only for a few minutes.

Did she blame me for Alice leaving? Was the idea of being changed first and foremost in her mind?

_What was she thinking?_

By the end of the day, I'd made it successfully through it without speaking to anyone. The one person that I wanted to talk to had nothing to say to me.

I walked Bella to her truck as I usually did. To my surprise, she turned to me and spoke.

"You'll come over later tonight?" she asked cautiously.

"Later?" Was she unsure about being alone with me since I always went over her house after school. She never had to ask.

"I have to work," Bella answered. "I had to trade with Mrs. Newton to get yesterday off."

"Oh," was all I said.

"So, you'll come over when I'm home though, right?"She still sounded unsure that she wanted me to.

"If you want me to."

"I always want you," Bella replied but I couldn't be sure if she really meant it. I would go, if only to see what the reason was for the silent treatment.

"Alright then."

I kissed her on her forehead before I shut the driver's door. For the first time, Bella's heart did not quicken at my kiss. This was much worse than I thought.

I did not know what to do with my free time. I didn't want to go home where it was sure to be an uncomfortable situation with everyone silently blaming me for Alice and Jasper's sudden departure. I couldn't just drive around town or walk for that matter. People would know something was different about me because of how I looked…crazy.

As I considered my options, I drove past the police station. I slowed down when I saw Chief Swan getting into his car. The man was still a mystery to me, only because I could only hear parts of his thoughts. To me, Chief Swan's thoughts were mostly incomplete sentences. Sometimes though, I was able to hear clear and concise sentences, like now.

_Great, it's the Cullen boy. Wonder what he's up to. Probably bored since Bella's at work. Hmm, one day I'm going to have to have a sit down with that boy….been putting it off for Bella's sake but…Yes, definitely gonna have a talk with him._

Today was just as good a day as any. So I pulled behind the cruiser and got out of my car.

"Hello Edward, something wrong?" Charlie was usually polite, even after the Phoenix incident. He made it a point to never be downright rude…_for Bella's sake._

"No sir. I saw you leaving and wanted to say hello."

Charlie stared at me strangely. _That's odd, h_e thought and I couldn't hear anything else.

"Okay…well…hello. How's your family? Bella told me that the older kids are at Dartmouth."

"Yes, sir. Emmett and the twins, Rosalie and Jasper. The rest of the family is fine."

"That's great." Charlie glanced around the nearly empty street. This was an awkward moment for both of us. I'd hardly spoken more than a few words to the man.

"Um, Edward…are you…were you headed someplace?" he asked.

"No sir. Just killing some time before Bella gets off work."

Charlie raised his eyebrows. _Yes,_ he thought, _that's exactly what we need to talk about._

"Well, how about you and me go on to the house and wait there? There's a few things I'd like to talk to you about."

"Oh?" I pretended to be surprised. I had a role to play. I was the seventeen year old boyfriend of the Chief of Police's daughter. I'm sure Mike Newton would have been shaking in his boots.

"Yes, I think it's time for us to have a conversation, don't you?" Charlie scratched his chin, indicating that he was uncomfortable.

I shifted a little. "Um, sure," I answered. "I'll follow you."

Like an antsy teen I walked briskly to my car. Actually I_ was_ a little nervous. I'd never talked to anyone's father before. I wondered exactly what Chief Swan would want to say.

When we arrived at the house, Chief Swan invited me into the kitchen where he pulled out the half eaten pizza from the night before.

"I know you're on some type of diet," he said, "but one slice isn't gonna kill you right?"

What could I do but accept the slice of cold pizza he was handing me? Cold or warm, it was still repulsive.

"I guess it couldn't hurt."

"Good. There's nothing better than cold pizza," he grinned. "Makes me feel young again." He laughed.

I laughed too. Was this male bonding for humans?

"I don't know much about you, Edward," Charlie stated. "Except you like baseball. You a Mariners fan?

_Not really._

"Oh yes sir. Especially now that we're here in Washington," I choked down a greasy chunk of pizza. _Disgusting._

"What do you want to study after you graduate?"

I already hold two medical degrees. Even when we had to repeat college again, I wasn't going to pursue that.

"It's a toss up," I said truthfully. "I'm really interested in journalism or law. Haven't decided yet."

Charlie nodded and reached for a second slice of pizza. I was still on my first and hopefully only slice.

"That's great. Dr. Cullen is lucky to have such smart kids."

"Thanks sir."

"You seem like a good kid," Charlie turned serious. "Bella is certainly quite smitten with you."

I wanted to laugh out loud. Bella was definitely beyond smitten…at least she was before last night.

"I really like her too," I replied softly.

"I've noticed."

"Um, Charlie," I stammered. "Does it bother you that Bella and I are so…close?"

_YES!_ His mind screamed but Charlie had more decorum than to blurt that out.

"Well, she's my baby girl," he answered instead. "I'm sure Dr. Cullen is very protective of your sisters."

I grinned. "Yes sir. We all are, in fact." That wasn't lie.

"It concerns me a little, I must admit," Charlie continued. "Bella's a lot like me. When she gets something that she…" - he hesitated - "…loves, she latches on to it and it's hard for her to let it go. I understand teenage romances. They don't last forever. I just don't want her to get hurt."

_Like me_, he finished in his mind. _Renée…_

I understood what he was saying. I remembered Bella telling me how hurt Charlie had been when Renée left him. He still clung to her, after all this time, which was why their little house still remained the same as she'd left it, seventeen years ago.

I felt bad for Charlie. Yet I understood how my relationship with his daughter was affecting him. He saw in me and Bella what he and Renée had, and he knew firsthand the tragic, long-lasting effects of one person loving the other more could have. He did not realize that I was the "Charlie" of our relationship.

'I don't want Bella to be hurt either."

Charlie swallowed the last of his pizza and grabbed a beer from the fridge.

"I guess what I'm saying is do you think it's possible for you guys to slow it down a bit? Maybe not spend every day together?" Charlie's voice was anguished.

"I can try," I replied. That was also the truth.

"You're teenagers. I know you have your own friends that you can't have been spending much time with."

"You're right, sir," I agreed. Not with his statement but with the general idea. My relationship with Bella was not normal.

Not only was I consistently putting her in danger just by being near her, but I was keeping her from having a normal teenage life. One where she'd hang out with her friends after school or go shopping or to the movies with her girlfriends on the weekends. One where she and her friends would giggle and talk about their boyfriends as I'm sure Angela, Jessica, and even Lauren did without Bella.

It wasn't right. I knew how to fix it.

"All I'm asking is that you try. Both of you. I'll have the same talk with Bella, as well," Charlie stated. His voice sounded a bit relieved.

"Hey, SportsCenter is on," he said. "Wanna watch it with me til Bella gets home?"

"Sure."

I followed Charlie to the living room and settled in the armchair while he and his beer got comfortable on the sofa.

A few seconds later the familiar theme music from ESPN'S SportsCenter – Emmett's favorite show – caught Charlie's undivided attention and I was left alone with my thoughts.

_Right and wrong_, I was right back at that place. So far the wrongs of my relationship with Bella outweighed the rights. I could do as Charlie requested and spend some days apart from Bella, but I knew it would not help. She would not agree to it.

But Bella deserved a normal life and she could not have that with me and my family here in Forks clouding her every thought, putting the notion in her head that she should be one of us. She deserved to be human. I would do whatever I had to do to give her that.

I was so engrossed in my thoughts that I did not even realize Bella was home until I heard her voice.

"Dad? Edward?"

"In here," Charlie called.

Bella came into the living room, an anxious frown on her face.

"Hi."

"Hey Bella," Charlie greeted her without taking his eyes from the TV. "We just had cold pizza. I think it's still on the table."

"Ok," Bella said carefully. She stood by the doorway, staring at me expectantly.

I remembered Charlie's request. I didn't have to jump up as soon as she walked through the door.

"I'll be right behind you," I said with a smile.

_Good boy,_ Charlie thought. _Baby steps_.

A few minutes passed. I listened for Bella's movements. Her breathing was erratic, panicky. I wanted to go calm her but what could I do? A few seconds later, Bella went upstairs without me.

My cell phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out and checked the caller ID. _Alice_. I excused myself and went out on the front porch.

"Hello Alice," I said. "Where are you?"

"On our way back to Forks. What I just saw…" Alice stopped. "Edward, are we leaving Forks _without _Bella?"

"You would know better than I would, Alice."

"But the vision was so clear," she protested. "Your decision is practically set in stone. Why Edward? We can't leave her. She's my best friend. And you love her."

"Alice," I said sharply. "I cannot talk about this now. We'll talk later." I hung up and walked back into the house. Charlie looked up when I sat down.

"Everything okay?"

"Yes. Alice is just mad at me. I forgot I told her she could borrow my car after school today."

I heard Bella tiptoe down the steps and wondered why she was trying to be quiet when the bright flash of her new camera caught Charlie and me by surprise.

"What are you doing, Bella?" Charlie complained.

She sat on the floor in front of the sofa, a sly smile on her face.

"Oh, come on, you know Mom will be calling soon to ask if I'm using my presents. I have to get to work before she can get her feelings hurt."

"Why are you taking pictures of me, though?" he grumbled.

"Because you're so handsome," was her quick reply. "And because, since you bought the camera, you're obligated to be one of my subjects."

"Your mother doesn't need any pictures of me."

"Hey Edward," Bella said, ignoring her father's discomfort. "Take one of me and my dad together."

She tossed me the camera then knelt beside the arm of the sofa where Charlie's face was. Charlie sighed. Neither of them was smiling.

"You need to smile, Bella," I murmured. I wanted to see her smile, the beautiful shy smile that I adored. It would probably be the last time I saw it.

After I took the picture Charlie suggested that Bella and I take one together. Bella stood next to me, my hand lightly on her shoulder while her arm wrapped tightly around my waist.

"Enough pictures for tonight," Charlie said, eager to get back to his show. They were talking about the Mariners.

I pretended to watch the rest of the show but all my thoughts were on Bella. How would she react to my leaving, if that's what I needed to do? How long would it take for her to get over me? Would I even be able to do it? The probability of that was slim but I had to do something.

When the show finally ended, my phone had rang six times. I knew my future…_our future_…was shifting back and forth in Alice's head and she hated that.

"I'd better get home."

Charlie didn't look away from the TV as he uttered his goodbye. Bella followed me to my car. Confusion was all over her face. She wanted to know what was happening, deserved to know, but I was not ready to tell her yet. I needed more time.

"Will you stay?" Bella's eyes told me that she anticipated my answer.

"Not tonight," I told her and for once I could not look in her captivating eyes.

Feeling like a coward, I got in my car and hurried out the driveway. Leaving her for just this one night was almost too much to handle. By the time I reached the turnoff to my own house, I was rethinking my decision.

Alice and Jasper had not made it back yet and I thanked my lucky stars for that. I went straight to my room and turned on my CD player loud enough to drown out the thoughts of my family members. And for the first time, I locked my bedroom door. I did not want to be bothered. I had a lot to think about.

I wished I could go to sleep and when I woke, this…my life for the past hundred odd years…would be just a bad dream, a nightmare.

I wished I was Romeo and could end it all. Death was much easier to cope with than abandonment and a broken heart. And that's what Bella would be left with if I left Forks without her. Could I really do that to her? I had promised myself and Bella that I would never hurt her. I promised to protect her and I had failed. Even though she credited me for saving her life first from the van, then in Port Angeles, and then again in Phoenix, she missed how much of her life I was _taking _from her. Her time, her energy, her heart. I was like a man possessed…no, obsessed. And it was not fair to her.

It wasn't fair that every time she came close to me my throat burned with an internal need to _taste_ her. It wasn't fair that her boyfriend could not hold her in his arms without the fear of breaking her bones. It wasn't fair that the people she loved most, other than her mom and dad, all had the potential to kill her. It wasn't fair. It wasn't right.

Out of moral obligation, I went to school the next day. Bella looked tired and distracted. And worried, as if she knew of my plan and her heart was already beginning to break.

Throughout the day, I watched her, her quiet small movements, the wrinkle of her brow. How her chestnut hair created a thick wall around her...a shield. The quickening of her heart when she caught me staring.

I loved her. But my love wasn't enough to keep her safe…to keep her normal. I loved Isabella Swan. I loved her so I had to be strong enough to leave her, to give her a chance at a happy human life.

When I made it home after school – Bella had to work again – Alice met me angrily at the door.

"You are making a horrible decision," she cried. "Have you even considered what us leaving is going to do to Bella? How can you be so insensitive?"

"Back off, Alice," I growled.

"No," she pouted. "I don't want to leave my friend."

"We're leaving?" Rosalie asked, looking up from her laptop.

I glared at Alice. "Yes."

"You can't make that decision for the family," Alice chimed in. "Only Carlisle can make that decision."

"Alice, please," I pleaded. "You cannot begin to understand how hard this is for me. Will you please back off?"

"But you're making the wrong choice, Edward," she whined. "There has to be a better way."

"Edward, maybe you should talk to Carlisle," Rose suggested. "Tell him the reasons for your decision. If he supports you, we'll _all_ go, without complaint.

"Carlisle will never support this," Alice muttered. "I can't wait until he gets home."

I ignored her. "Where's Jasper and Emmett?" I asked Rosalie.

"They just left to go hunting. If you hurry, you can catch them."

"Thanks." I ran out of the door but not fast enough to miss Alice's angry words to our sister.

"You're only supporting him because you're jealous that Bella caught Edward's eye when you couldn't."

Rosalie hissed in surprise. I made a mental note to kill Alice when I returned.

It didn't take long for me to find my brothers. They were too busy wrestling, crashing into trees and rocks, to hunt.

"Sounds like an earthquake out here," I joked but the words sounded all wrong.

"Whoa! What's wrong with you?" Emmett asked. "Who died?"

I slumped next to a giant tree.

"Feels like I am," I admitted.

"Jasper, cheer him up, quick," Emmett joked. "He's being a killjoy again."

"Seriously, Edward," Jasper said, coming to my side. "What's wrong?"

"We have to leave Forks, all of us," I declared.

"Did you kill Bella?" It was meant to be a joke but Emmett's timing was always off.

"Emmett! Shut up!" Jasper yelled. "Why do we have to leave, Edward? Is this your decision…that we all leave?"

I nodded. "It's what's best for Bella."

"But is it best for you?" Emmett asked, serious now.

"It doesn't matter what's best for me. It's about her. I can't give Bella the life she deserves to have. She'll never be completely happy with me."

"Edward," Jasper spoke slowly. "Bella seems pretty happy with you."

"Yeah, she does, man," Emmett agreed.

I shrugged. "Yeah, for now. What about five years from now? When she's older and wants to get married and have kids? She's supposed to do that with me?"

"Does Bella even want that?" Jasper asked. "I mean, she seems awfully committed in her desire to be like us."

"That's because we are all she knows! Take away that element and Bella will want what every human girl wants."

"Are you sure about this?"

I nodded.

"Man, this sucks," Emmett groaned. "I really like Bella."

"So do I," I whispered. "So do I."

It was ever harder to explain my rational to Carlisle and Esme. Even though it saddened her to leave Bella, Esme knew leaving would mean keeping her family intact.

Carlisle supported my decision simply because he understood it's what I _felt _had to be done. He hated to leave the hospital but he remembered the vow he made when I first met Bella, when I thought I would kill her.

_If I l left, we all would leave._

As I tried to make my family understand that there should be no goodbyes, no final words, no contact with Bella, I was met with military like resistance.

"How can I not say goodbye?" Alice screeched. "How can you say that?'

"Alice, she already thinks you're gone," I informed her. "She hasn't seen you in three days."

"So. I'm sure she thinks I'm coming back."

"Alice, please, can we do this my way," I begged.

"But I want to see her," she whispered. "Please Edward. I should be there when you tell her anyway. She's going to need me."

"Alice," Carlisle interceded, "it's best for Bella to have a clean break from us. I think Edward is right. It'll hurt less if she doesn't have to say goodbye to all of us."

Carlisle was right. _I_ had to tell Bella and I had no idea if I could.

The constant cloud had never bothered me before. But today, standing outside my car in the school parking lot, waiting for Bella to exit, the shadowy sky reflected my gloomy mood.

I felt hollow inside, as if the life had been drained out of me. I was numb. For a brief moment, I changed my mind. Bella was my only reason to continue living this life. She was my sun. Hurting her…leaving her was destroying me, piece by piece. However, I had no other choice.

Bella approached me cautiously, her senses heightened. She knew something was wrong as we walked to her truck.

"Do you mind if I come over today?" I asked. I hadn't been over in two days. Maybe she was angry enough by now that she'd make this easy and break up with me.

"Of course not," she answered with a hint of anger. So much for that plan. But then again, I didn't deserve _easy_.

"Now?" I asked again. The word came out a little too urgently.

"Sure," Bella said slowly. "I was just going to drop off a letter for Renée in the mailbox on the way. I'll meet you there."

I glanced at the fat envelop on the passenger seat. It was more than just a letter. I knew exactly what the contents included; pictures that Bella had taken…pictures of me.

_Clean break, Edward._ I reminded myself and grabbed the package.

"I'll do it," I said quietly. "And I'll still beat you there."

"Okay."

My car was a thousand times faster than Bella's clunker. I was at her house before she had barely pulled out of the parking lot. I scaled the side of the house and entered Bella's bedroom…for the last time.

Alice was waiting for me. She was sitting on Bella's bed. If I hadn't known better, I would have sworn she was crying.

"Did you get everything?" I asked her.

She nodded. "The pictures, the CD. Everything." She looked at me. "Edward, do we really have to take her stuff? I mean, no matter what we do, she's never going to forget us."

"She might."

"No, she won't," Alice insisted. "You are her first love. No girl ever forgets her first love. And it's not fair that she has nothing to remember you by. That's just not right."

"Okay," I said, giving in. "Give them to me."

I lifted one of Bella's floorboards and slid the CD, the pictures, even the airline tickets, into the black space. She wouldn't need them right away. If she really truly loved me, she'd know that they were near her. For a second, I was okay with the decision. A piece of me was staying with Bella.

"She's coming," Alice announced. "We have to go, Edward."

I had wanted to do this alone but in the end, I relented and let Alice join me. I would need her and she had been the most supportive…since the beginning. She only wanted to see Bella one last time. She promised to remain out of sight while I spoke with her.

As Alice disappeared through the window, I gave a final look at Bella's room. I would never forget this tiny room, a place wrought with so many memories. It was in this room when Bella first whispered my name, when I knew that I forever loved her. Suddenly I felt like I was drowning, as a sea of sadness overwhelmed me. But it was impossible to shed the tears that my heart was feeling.

A low, tortured growl escaped my lips as I fell to the floor, internally weeping as my heart was crushed between our two worlds. When I came up, I was numb again, empty inside. Everything that made me feel alive, I was leaving in that room with Bella. I was officially the walking dead.

I waited for Bella outside in my car. The cool rainy air flowed through my lungs but I felt no relief from the pain searing inside my chest.

_This is what you have to do,_ I said to myself when Bella's truck pulled in front of her house.

I met Bella at her truck. She was uneasy, a doomed expression on her face. Panic filled her eyes. There was nothing I could say to calm her. It would only get worse.

"Come for a walk with me," I said, taking her soft pale hand in mine, leading her away from the house to where the forest encroached.

We were barely on the trail when I stopped walking. This was far enough. I did not want Bella roaming around in the woods after I was gone.

I leaned against a tree, staring at her. I wanted the image of her – her perfect heart shaped face, her wide brown eyes, the small pout of her lips – seared into my mind.

"Okay," Bella spoke first. "Let's talk."

"Bella, we're leaving."

Her chest rose as she inhaled deeply. Her fingers twitched at her side.

"Why now?" she asked. "Another year -"

She didn't get what I was saying.

"Bella, it's time," I interrupted. "How much longer could we stay in Forks after all? Carlisle can barely pass for thirty, and he's claiming thirty-three now. We'd have to start over soon regardless."

My answer caused her eyes to swim with confusion. She stared at me blankly. I knew what I had to do. I had to become the Edward she was not used to seeing anymore. The Edward that Bella first encountered, when I thought that I couldn't be with her. The cold heartless monster.

I stared back, coldly, hoping she would understand. A slight gasp came from lips. She understood.

"When you say we-"she whispered.

"I mean my family and myself."

Bella shook her head back and forth...over and over. Her pulse quickened, her eyes wild. Her mouth moved but no words came out. Carlisle's words replayed themselves in my head, from the day I had to save Bella's life and suck the deadly vampire venom out of her arm. The day I thought _I _would be the one to take her life.

_Stop, Edward, you're killing her. _But I could not stop. I had to tell her everything.

It was a few minutes before she spoke and when she did, her words were resolved.

"Okay, I'll come with you."

I shook my head. "You can't, Bella. Where we're going…it's not the right place for you."

I did not know where we were going; however, any place where I was could not be the right place for her.

She thought differently, as if she could hear my thoughts. "Where you are is the right place for me."

"I'm no good for you, Bella," I admitted mournfully.

"Don't be ridiculous. You're the best part of my life."

I closed my eyes. Her declaration was too much to bear. I had to be strong enough to get through this. I knew it would be difficult. But I had not prepared myself for Bella's reaction. I was only focused on the pain it was causing me to have to say these words to her.

"My world is not for you," I said grimly.

"What happened with Jasper – that was nothing, Edward!" she yelled. "Nothing!"

"You're right. It was exactly what to be expected."

"You promised! In Phoenix, you promised that you would stay-"

"As long as that was best for you," I interrupted to correct her.

"No!" she yelled hysterically. "This is about my soul, isn't it? Carlisle told me about that, and I don't care, Edward. I don't care! You can have my soul. I don't want it without you – it's yours already."

I held my head down in shame. Carlisle had spoken with Bella about my fear…without my knowledge. But she still did not understand. She would not understand. This was more than me not wanting to take her soul, this was about her life. I had to make her understand, somehow.

"Bella," I spoke slowly and precisely. I stared at her, as cold as I could, anticipating that my words would literally stop her heart and hating myself for it.

"I don't want you to come with me."

Shock…hurt…confusion twisted on her face.

"You…don't…want me?" she whispered, twisting the words around but getting the meaning, nonetheless.

"No." I wanted to explain more. I wanted to correct her. But I heard Alice's thoughts in my head.

_Let her believe that. Clean break, you said. _

"Well that changes things."

_I can't do this. _I wanted to scream since Alice could not hear me. _I can't hurt her like this. I can't lie to her._

_She's not going to believe you,_ Alice spoke in my head. _She'll come after us, search for us if you don't make her believe you. This was your idea,_ Alice thought angrily. _So get it over with. Don't torture the poor girl._

She was right. I couldn't let Bella have any hope that this was not over. I could not allow her to believe that I would return. She deserved be able to heal from the damage that I'd done.

I looked into the trees, not able to meet her gaze as I lied to her.

"Of course, I'll always love you…in a way. But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change. Because I'm…tired of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I am not human. I've let this go on much too long, and I'm sorry for that." _And a million other things. _But I would not concentrate on that.

"Don't," she whispered. "Don't do this."

"You're not good for me…" I could barely speak such untrue words. She was the only thing good for me. I thought she knew that. But when I glanced at her briefly I saw in her eyes what I had truly hoped that I would not see. _She believed me._

Bella opened her mouth to say something then closed it again. I waited patiently for her to say anything to refute the idea that she believed my lies.

"If…that's what you want," she replied and I was crushed to my core. Maybe I was the one who had it wrong. Maybe Bella wasn't as crushed as I was. Maybe her feelings weren't as strong. How could she believe that I didn't want her? How could she believe that she wasn't good for me?

She took a step towards me, then stopped. I heard the rush of her blood, the rhythmic beat of her heart, beating at a frantic pace. Her breaths were hyperventilating gasps.

_Edward, she's losing it. Say something, damnit! _Alice screamed at me from the trees.

"Bella," I spoke softy. She looked up. Her eyes were like melted chocolate, burning into mine with an intensity that was overwhelming.

"I would like to ask one favor, though, if that's not too much."

"Anything," she promised, her voice stronger than before.

"Don't do anything reckless or stupid." I was thinking about her being a magnet for danger. I wasn't going to be around to protect her from speeding vans, and sex fiends. I wouldn't be here to pick her up when she fell down.

"Do you understand what I'm saying?"

She nodded.

_Too much, Edward. Tone it down. _Alice brought me back to where I needed to be. Thank goodness I changed my mind. I would have never been able to do this without her.

"I'm thinking of Charlie, of course. He needs you. Take care of yourself – for him."

Bella nodded again. "I will," she whispered.

_Thank you._

"And I'll make you a promise in return," I stated, the ice returning to my voice. "I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I'd never existed."

Bella's knees started to quiver. She looked like she was about to fall down. I reached out my hand to steady her. She didn't notice it.

"Don't worry, Bella," I said gently. "You're human – your memory is no more than a sieve. Time heals all wounds for your kind." I hoped.

"And your memories?" she choked out.

"Well…I won't forget. But _my_ kind…we're easily distracted."

I would not be distracted. Every day, until the end of time, I would think of her. Every day I would remember her scent. _Every day._

I took a step back. I had nothing else to say.

"That's everything, I suppose. We won't bother you again."

She looked at me in surprise. "Alice isn't coming back?"

"No. They're all gone. I stayed behind to tell you goodbye."

"Alice is gone?" her voice was blank with disbelief.

"She wanted to say goodbye," I explained. For once I could tell her the truth. "But I convinced her that a clean break would be better for you."

_Goodbye Bella,_ Alice called mournfully. _I love you!_

"Goodbye, Bella," I repeated Alice's words.

"Wait!" she called out, reaching for me.

I caught her before she threw herself into me. Leaning down, I held her arms against her sides and pressed my lips to her forehead, feeling the warmth of the girl I loved for the last time. I inhaled deeply as her scent overwhelmed me.

"Take care of yourself," I breathed and released her.

As fast as I could, I ran away. I could hear Alice behind me, attempting to close the distance between the two of us. My feet barely touched the ground as I continued to run without slowing. I was trying to outrun the wave of disappointment mixed with despair that was chasing me. But I couldn't. My feet and legs began to feel like lead and I slowed to a stop.

There was nowhere I could run to escape what I'd just done. No where to hide from my feelings that were tearing me apart.

I felt Alice's arms around my slumping shoulders.

"Edward," she spoke in a comforting tone. "She's going to be okay. You're going to get through this. I'll help you."

But I didn't want any help. I didn't want to get through it. All I wanted was Bella.


	4. Chapter 4

_I wasn't planning on adding any "Author's note to these chapters but I've been getting alot of questions from readers regarding the switch from Edward's POV to Jacob's and I wanted to reiterate that Rising Sun is Jacob's story. This is his chance to tell what's going on. We didn't get to hear from him, through his own words, until Breaking Dawn. I thought that was sad since he was such a big factor in New Moon. These next chapters are what Jacob was up to during the few months that Bella was away, you know the ones where Stephenie wrote the four most powerful words ever...October-November-December-January. I hope that clarifies some things. If it doesn't, please, leave comments and I'll be more than happy to answer your questions if I can do it without giving away the story._

* * *

_She left me._

The three most hurtful words I could think of. The three most painful words I ever uttered seared my mind.

My legs wouldn't run, my heart wouldn't stop racing. I could not breathe.

_She left me._

When...if...she came back, things would never be the same. She chose death over life, evil over good.

How would I ever recover?

****

**Chapter 4**

"Man, I can't believe that your dad actually bought you the master cylinder. Dude, you are so lucky. I thought you were going to have to get a job."

My best friend, Quil Ateara was gawking at my car, as I worked under the hood. I was in the process of rebuilding the engine of my 1986 Volkswagen Rabbit. Soon I would be the only one of the three us – me, Quil, and my other friend, Embry Call – who would have more than just my two feet for transportation. I was the man!

"What did you have to do? Sell him your firstborn kid?" Embry joked.

I shuddered, remembering exactly what I had to do to get the $200 part.

Tell Bella Swan that she needed to break up with her boyfriend and relay a ridiculously random message.

_We'll be watching you._

Sometimes my dad and the elders on this reservation could be so overly dramatic. To this day, I still didn't know why they didn't like Bella's boyfriend, Edward. It wasn't like he'd done anything to anyone on the reservation. As far as I knew – for sure – he'd never even set foot up here. The Cullen family never came on our land so it wasn't like he'd broken some girl's heart up here. Maybe he had on another rez. Rumors do travel fast in small towns. Not to mention the old stupid stories they considered to me legends. Vampires...descendants of wolves. Come on! That was too ridiculous to even believe.

Or maybe it was just because of the fact that Bella was the daughter of my dad's best friend. Either way, I wasn't privy to that information. And I didn't care. I had my part and twenty more bucks to put to use on more parts. I couldn't wait to finish the Rabbit. I worked on it every day after school. Sometimes Quil and Embry helped, but mostly they just sat around and kept me company in the garage.

"Oh, I remember!" Quil yelled. "You had to take Chief Swan's daughter to prom!"

"I did not take her to prom," I replied. "I showed up at her prom to tell her something. Geez man, you can't get a story right for nothing. Remind me not to tell you anything again."

Quil laughed and reached into the cooler to grab one of my last cans of soda.

"Hey Jake, you're almost out of soda."

"Well, go get some, especially if that's the last can."

"I said, you're almost out of soda."

I ignored him and reached for the wrench that was beside Embry. Embry saw what I was reaching for and snatched it away from my hand.

"Gimmie that!"

"Not until you tell us what you said to Bella."

"No, it's stupid. Gimmie the damn wrench."

Embry ran to the other side of the garage. "I bet I know what you would have liked to say."

"Oh Bella, I love you," he and Quil sang together.

"That's not funny," I said angrily. "I'm not in love with Bella. She's like my kid sister."

"The hell she is," Embry said. "I don't see you getting that stupid look on your face when you talk about Rachel or Rebecca."

I was about to respond with some derogatory comment about the huge number of stupid looks on his face when I heard my dad calling me.

My dad didn't come out to the garage often. It was hard trying to maneuver his wheelchair on the uneven ground. He just yelled at the top of his lungs whenever he needed me.

"Shut up, my dad's calling me."

I left the two hecklers in the garage and jogged into the house. I forgot to lower my head as I went through the front door and ended up hitting my head on the door frame. Over the summer I'd had a growth spurt and was now at least 6'2. Tall and skinny, that was me.

"Damn it," I muttered, rubbing the sore spot.

My dad was in the kitchen, staring at the phone. Something was wrong and I wondered who had called.

"What's up Pop?"

"Charlie just called. He said that Bella's missing. We have to go to Forks."

"What do you mean, Bella's missing? Like, did she run away?"

"Charlie isn't sure. Run over to Harry's and see if we can borrow his car."

"Sure, sure," I said. "I'll be right back."

I jogged back out the house and stopped by the garage to tell Quil and Embry to go home.

"Hey guys," I said. "Me and my dad have to go to Forks. Something's wrong at the Swan's house."

"Did someone get shot?" Quil asked anxiously. Quil was always looking for some type of drama. "Did Charlie shoot that Cullen kid?"

"No, stupid. Bella's missing."

At the mention of Bella's name, Embry made a face at Quil.

"Sure Jake."

"Seriously, Charlie just called my dad. She's missing," I said. "I have to go see if Harry and Sue will let us borrow their car."

"We'll come with you," Embry said. "I wanna see if Leah's still pissed at Sam."

I wrinkled my face. _Ugh, Leah Clearwater and Sam Uley._ Their breakup was still the talk of the reservation.

"Maybe the Cullens kidnapped Bella," Embry suggested as we jogged towards the Clearwater's house.

"You better not say their name too loud," Quil warned. "Sam and his gang might get you."

I burst out laughing. Sam and his gang. What a joke!

"You have to have more than three people to be a gang," I said.

"They're not a gang. They're a bunch of steroid freaks who wish they were tough."

For the last few months, all the teenagers on the reservation had been making fun of Sam and his two followers, Jared and Paul. All off a sudden they were super buffed and they strolled around the reservation like they owned it, like they were Elders. At first it was just Sam and then Paul joined in. Now Jared. They just looked stupid to me.

Embry was the most critical of all of us. Mainly because he used to be really good friends with Paul and Jared until they started hanging out with Sam. Now he barely spoke to them and was reduced to hanging out with me and Quil, the better choice, obviously.

We didn't get a chance to see Leah though. Harry was already waiting on the porch for us. I guess my dad had called him, which probably would have been easier - and quicker – than having me run across the reservation.

"Hey Jake," Harry called, tossing me the keys from the porch. "Charlie called me too. You guys take the truck. I'll take Sue's car."

The Clearwater's pickup was old but at least it was faster than the old Chevy that my dad had sold to Charlie.

"Slow down, Jake," Embry called as I ran to the truck. "We're coming too."

"No you're not," I answered.

"Come on, Jake! We promise not to say anything about Bella. Besides, nothing ever happens on the reservation. We need a little action."

Truthfully, I didn't want my friends there but I knew that if they weren't with me, they'd find another way to Forks. The rez could get very boring if you weren't careful. So I didn't gripe anymore when Quil and Embry hopped into the bed of the truck and I sped towards my house.

What if something really bad had happened to Bella? That would devastate Charlie. Not that I knew Bella very well, but she was a friend of the family. And she was cool. We'd only hung out a few times. Once she got a boyfriend, she was pretty...preoccupied.

Despite their teasing, there was no truth to the notion that I was in love with Bella Swan. In fact, I wasn't in love with anyone. Girls...not right now. I was too busy. Avoiding Sam Uley and working on my car took up most of my time. Girls, especially the girls at La Push didn't like sitting out in my garage watching me work on the Rabbit. They wanted to go on dates, to the movies or to Port Angeles. I have twin sisters. I don't need anymore girly influences than that.

Billy was waiting for us on the porch. I helped him into the truck and threw his wheelchair into the bed with Quil and Embry. Then we were off to Forks.

"It's getting dark," Billy mentioned and I heard the angst in his voice. Charlie was his best friend and he was nervous for him, I bet. "I hope Bella's not roaming around in the woods."

"Maybe she just took off with some friends and forgot to tell Charlie, Dad. I'm sure it's nothing." I tried to sound convincing. Bella seemed more responsible than that. Forgetting to tell our parents was something me and my friends did all the time. Bella was much more responsible than any of us. At least, that's how she came across. I could be wrong. No, I wasn't wrong. Bella wouldn't do such a thing.

Charlie's place was a madhouse when I pulled in front of it. Every cop in the town had to be parked outside. The front AND back yards were lit up by the lights of the police cars. It looked like an episode of CSI.

"Wow, this is some shindig," Embry whistled as he came up on my side of the truck.

"I know." I got out of the car, feeling a little antsy. Charlie had called everyone. Maybe this was a bit more serious than I'd thought.

My eyes scanned through the crowd looking for Charlie. There were so many people. Most, well all of them, I didn't recognize. I didn't have a lot of friends outside of the reservation. Us Quileutes tended to keep to ourselves. Therefore, I hardly made it down to Forks.

We found Charlie standing over a large map spread over the hood of his cruiser. It didn't take a brain surgeon to see what he was doing...search party.

He looked up when he saw me and my dad approaching.

"Billy, Jacob, thank you for coming. We need every set of eyes we can get."

I've never seen a grown man so...frantic...and distraught in my life. Did Charlie know something he wasn't telling us? I understand fear, but this was more than fear. I couldn't describe it.

Billy reached up and patted his friends shoulder comforting him briefly.

"We'll find her, Charlie. Don't worry." My dad's voice, the voice of a Quileute Elder was strong, powerful, and confident. So confident that for a moment, I really thought Charlie believed him.

"So what do we know?" Harry's voice boomed over the chaos.

Harry was a good friend of Charlie's too, his fishing partner when my dad wasn't feeling up to it. I liked Harry. He has a good sense of humor, something that was uncommon amongst the adults of our tribe. I longed to live in a world where grown ups actually laughed and had fun. I hoped I would not turn out like my father and his buddies, hardly ever laughing and smiling. Maybe I wouldn't grow up. Maybe I'd be sixteen forever. That would be cool.

Charlie flashed a welcoming look at his buddy.

"I don't know when she disappeared," Charlie started. "Her truck was here when I got home from work and she'd left me a note saying she was going for a walk with Edward, that's her boyfriend," he explained to those who didn't know. "She hasn't come back. It's been hours."

I looked at my watch and then at the sky. It was past nine. Had Bella really been missing for at least six hours? Where did that boy take her?

I felt myself getting angry. What if Edward had done something to her? What if he wasn't the nice guy that Bella thought he was? He could have taken her deep into the woods...

_Stop Jake_, I told myself. Edward wouldn't dare hurt Bella...would he?

"So, why are we still standing here?" I asked. "Me, Quil, and Embry know these woods pretty well. We can start looking. Who's got the flashlights?"

"I don't know, boys," a man I didn't know said. "It's too dark and you're just kids. We don't need to add three more missing teenagers to this situation."

I grumbled under my breath. Who did he think he was talking to? I've spent most of my life exploring the forest. I could get to Charlie's house from La Push in my sleep.

"Has anyone tried to reach the Cullens? Maybe Dr. Cullen can help us look. He should be here anyway, considering she ran off with his son."

I looked at the man speaking. I recognized him. He owned the sporting goods store. I recognized his son too. He and his friends come up to La Push all the time for surfing and stuff. What was his name? Newman? Newton? Newton! That was it.

"The Cullens are gone," Dr. Gerandy spoke softly. Dr. Gerandy, I immediately noticed him. How many bones had he fixed on me? Countless, considering I was clumsy as hell. When I was little, I believe I broke every bone in my arms and legs...twice. I was a bit more careful now, but still clumsy. Some things can't be helped.

"What do you mean, the Cullens are gone?" Charlie barked. "Gone where?"

Dr. G shrugged. "Carlisle called the hospital today. He received a very sudden offer from UCLA Medical Center. He couldn't turn it down. He asked us not to say anything. Dr. Cullen didn't want to make a big production out of leaving."

Charlie was outraged! And that was an understatement. His face was such a deep red that it was almost purple.

"Okay, everybody, here's the plan. Boys, start searching the woods. There are flashlights in the trunk. Stay together. Mike, go with them," he barked.

"Harry, call down to the station and get Flo to start looking for the Cullens. If my daughter is with them..." his sentence broke off. Charlie didn't want to say what his voice was implying.

I walked to the back of the cruiser, followed by Quil, Embry, and a very reluctant Mike Newton.

"What's wrong, dude?" Quil asked. "You look a little green in the face."

"Nothing," Mike said. "But do you think it's really safe to go searching for her in the woods in the dark?"

Embry laughed. "We have flashlights."

"If Bella is in the woods, then we're going in the woods," I muttered. Who was this dork?

I tossed out the industrial police issued flashlights – the good ones – to my friends and Mike.

"Sorry, he doesn't have any breadcrumbs in there, if you were thinking about leaving a trail."

"Shut up."

I ignored him. "Dad," I called over my shoulder as we headed across the yard. "We're leaving. Embry has his cell."

The three of us walked to the forest's edge, Mike trailed behind us, nervously wishing for breadcrumbs, I bet. The ground was soaking wet from the rain earlier. I sincerely hoped that Bella was not in the woods, that she was somewhere dry and warm, instead of wet and cold, lost in the Olympic forest. Even if it meant that Charlie would kill the Cullens for taking her.

A rustling sound stopped us in our tracks. At first I thought it was just the wind but I realized there was no wind. I looked at Quil who shrugged. We all trained our ears to the forest.

"What's going on?" Mike said. "What do you hear?"

"Shh," Embry whispered.

I heard it again. Bushes and trees rustling, twigs snapping...footsteps?

"Someone's coming," I whispered and grinned as Quil held up his flashlight like a baseball bat.

"Bella?" I called hopefully. "Bella, is that you?"

Then out of the shadows I saw three figures. One of them was carrying something. The figures moved quickly towards us.

"Who goes there?" Quil yelled and we – except the scaredy cat – laughed.

At once three bright lights were shined directly into the faces of the figures and I groaned.

Sam. Jared. Paul.

"I've got her!" Sam called in a booming voice and chaos ensued as everyone ran across the yard.

"What are you doing here?" I said to Sam, disgusted that it was him who was carrying Bella, limp in his arms. "Is she hurt?" I peered down at Bella's wet face. She was semi-conscious but I didn't see any fresh cuts or bruises.

"No," I don't think she's hurt," Sam said. "She just keeps saying 'He's gone'."

_Oh, Charlie was going to love this,_ I thought. Bella had been with Edward. But if she was with him, how did she end up alone in the woods?

"Out of the way, Jake," Jared pushed me away and I stumbled on a patch of wet grass. I swear, if I had fallen, I would have beaten him with my flashlight.

Charlie reached Sam first. The relief on his face quickly turned to anguish when he saw his daughter, soaking wet and incoherent, in Sam Uley's big steroid induced arms.

"Bella, honey, are you alright?"

Bella's eyes fluttered. "Charlie?" But her voice was wrong. It sounded all strange and weak. What was wrong with her?

"I'm right here baby." He looked at Sam. "I'll take her."

Sam looked doubtful that Charlie could manage Bella as he handed her over to her father. All the steroids were causing him to be extremely over confident. Charlie could carry Bella. She was a lightweight. Hell, I could carry Bella.

"Maybe I should hold on to her," Sam suggested. Me, Quil, and Embry all rolled our eyes. Jared and Paul noticed and sneered at us. I made a mental note to start looking for discarded hypodermic needles around the reservation. The Elders would need proof.

"I've got her," Charlie said and started to walk across the yard to their house.

Everyone followed - me, Quil, and Embry, bringing up the rear.

"What are they doing here?" Embry whispered.

"How'd they get here before us, is the real question," Quil stated. "They were out by the cliffs when we left. I saw them. And since neither of them have a car, how'd they get here so fast?"

"Maybe they rode with Harry and just took off into the woods as soon as they got here." But I was doubtful. Something odd was going on with those three. _Something really really odd._

Sam held the front door open as Charlie carried Bella into the house. He looked at me, way to intense for my liking, as I walked past.

"Jacob," he muttered.

"Don't talk to me," I said and walked into the house.

Charlie was laying Bella on the couch in the living room.

"Dad, I'm all wet," Bella objected feebly.

"That doesn't matter," Charlie said. "Jake, run upstairs and get a blanket. They're in the cupboard at the top of the stairs."

I did as told and came back with two old blankets and a towel. I unfolded one of the blankets and laid it across Bella and handed her the towel.

"Jacob," she said, unsure. I wondered if she'd forgotten me.

"Hey Bella," I said. "I know you didn't forget about me," I joked.

She shook her head.

"No, you're my friend," she said groggily.

I smiled at her. Bella thought of me as a friend. That was cool. Maybe, we could hang out some, once she got better. There was no doubt in my mind that Bella was going to be sick after spending hours out in the cold and rain.

"Hey, Jake," Quil called from the doorway. "Billy's not feeling well. He said he wants to go home."

"Sure, sure," I said. "Hey Charlie, my dad's not feelin so good so we're gonna go, okay."

Charlie nodded. "Thanks for coming Jake. Tell Billy I'll call him later – tomorrow – with an update."

We piled back into the truck. I wondered what was going on with my dad. He certainly didn't look sick when I got in the truck. In fact, he had a slight smirk on his face. What was going on?

Besides, I hated when my dad pulled the "I don't feel well" card. It wasn't a fair tactic. What kind of son would I be if I ignored his pain?

I hardly ever talk about the car accident that led to my mother's death and my father being paralyzed. No one did. It wasn't a subject that needed to be discussed. I was just a kid when it happened. It was tough on me and my sisters. Rachel and Rebecca were always gracious enough when it came to Billy. But they hated La Push. As soon as they could, they left the reservation and the burden of taking care of my dad fell on me. No, I won't say it's a burden. I love taking care of my father. I'm his son. It's what I'm supposed to do and I do it without complaint. I just don't like when he fakes not feeling well to manipulate me.

"What's going on Dad?" I asked as I pulled away from Charlie's. "You look fine to me."

"Old Quil called a council meeting," he said. "We need to discuss what happened tonight."

A council meeting? That was strange too.

"What does what happened with Bella have anything to do with the council?" I asked.

"A lot," Billy told me. "You'll find out soon enough."

I wondered about that. My dad had been saying strange things like that to me for the past few months. I didn't understand it. Why couldn't I just know now? Why'd I have to find out later?

I dropped my dad off at Old Quil Aetera's house. Old Quil was my friend Quil's grandfather and the oldest person alive on the reservation. He and my father were close. He'd practically raised my father.

As I was pulling off, Harry Clearwater pulled up beside me. He looked anxious too. What was with these old people?

"Hey Jake, don't worry about getting Billy. I'll bring him back home."

"Sure, sure," I answered. "I was thinking about going back over to Charlie's house and sit with Bella so he can get some rest."

I don't know where that idea came from. I hadn't been thinking about that at all. I had planned on going home and getting some food. That was about it.

"Good idea," Harry replied. "Don't worry about the truck. You can bring it by the house tomorrow."

"okay." And I was back on the road headed to Forks.

It was a different scene when I pulled in front of Charlie's again. Everyone was gone. The circus was over and the street was quiet. The living room light was on so I knew that Charlie was still awake when I knocked on the door.

"Hi, Jake, what are you doing back? Did you forget something?" Charlie asked. He looked sleepy.

"No. Something told me I should come back and sit with Bella so you can get some rest."

Charlie sighed. "Really? That's awfully nice of you, Jake, but Bella...well, it isn't going to be much fun."

"That's okay, Charlie," I answered and stepped into the house. "You got anything to eat?"

Charlie smiled but his smile was tired. "I'll order a couple of pizzas."

"Pizza works for me."

He went into the kitchen and I walked into the living room. Bella was still on the couch. She was asleep but there was something wrong with her face. It wasn't peaceful like a normal person's face is when they're asleep. It was twisted, as if she was in pain.

I knelt down on the floor next to her sleeping figure and touched her face softly. She was freezing, despite the quilt she was tightly wrapped in. I don't know what happened but it wasn't right for Bella to be suffering, especially in her sleep.

Her eyes fluttered open. "Jacob?" she said my name again. But this time she was sure it was me.

"Sorry," I said. "I didn't mean to wake you up."

"It's okay," she said then gasped and clutched her chest with both arms.

"Bella? What's wrong?" She didn't speak. Her eyes glassed over and she stared off in the distance for a few seconds before focusing on me again.

"Bella," I asked again, "are you okay?"

She shook her head. "I just wanna sleep."

"Are you sure? Your dad's ordering a few pizzas. Maybe eating and watching a movie might help take your mind off...what happened."

"No," she whispered sadly. "I don't want to forget. I never want to forget him, Jacob."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"Dad, I'm going to Charlie's," I called as I ran to my room and tossed my bookbag on the floor of my tiny space. I'd long outgrown my room but where else could I move to...the twins' room? Never. Besides, when they left, I converted it to Billy's room. It was a little bigger and I arranged it so Billy could maneuver his wheelchair around with ease.

I grabbed bag of chips and checked the fridge for a snack. The fridge was packed! Sue must have taken my dad to the grocery store.

"Awesome!" I said as I grabbed few hot dogs to munch on during the drive to Forks and sprinted to the front door.

I nearly killed myself when I tripped over a pair of my sneakers and fell against the wall. A few pieces of partially chewed hot dog lodged in my throat and I tried to cough them up before I choked to death.

My dad keeps telling me that I'm at an awkward stage and I'll grow into my size but I have no idea what that's supposed to mean. I'm already 6'4". How much more growing am I going to go? And was I ever going to gain any weight? Maybe I wouldn't be so uncoordinated if my body was proportionate.

"Jake, you okay?" my dad called from the living room.

"I'm fine," I choked out and walked out the door. It was kind of chilly but for October in Washington, the cold was normal.

Seth Clearwater bounded across the street, full of pre-teen energy. I hadn't even seen him outside. Then again, Seth had a very annoying habit of popping up wherever I was. Most of the guys couldn't stand the kid, but he wasn't bad. I always gave him a break. I mean, he had to live with Leah, after all.

"Hey, Jake," Seth practically cheered as he climbed up the porch steps. "You headed somewhere?" Seth's enthusiasm was contagious and I couldn't help but grin.

Seth was getting taller too. He wasn't nearly as tall as me but for his age – thirteen – 5'10 was tall. The best part...he was skinny like me too.

"Yeah, I'm on my way to Charlie's."

"To check on Bella again?"

I nodded but was distracted. Sam Uley was heading to my house and he was alone. Not a good sign.

"Eh, Seth, I really gotta go." I hopped off the porch steps. "Come over when I get back and you can help me with the Rabbit."

"Cool!"

I hopped into the cab of Bella's truck and cranked the engine. The truck roared to life. At the sound, Sam turned around and started walking in the opposite direction, towards his own house.

_Why does he keep bothering me?_ I wondered but the thought quickly passed when I saw my father on the porch, waving my Algebra book to get my attention. I got out of the truck.

"What's up dad?"

"Take this with you," he ordered sternly. "If your teacher calls this house one more time..."

"Sure, sure," I said and took the book. "I'll be back."

I'd been going to Charlie's every day after school since the incident with Bella lost in the woods a few weeks ago. I liked to think that my presence there helped but I honestly can't say it did. Bella never really acknowledged that I was there. Usually she went to her room and locked the door, only coming out for bathroom breaks. Occasionally she would sit at the kitchen table – never the living room – and talk to me. Often those conversations ended with her getting up and walking away.

I haven't had much experience with relationships and breakups but I knew that something was seriously wrong with Bella Swan. Even Leah hadn't acted like this when she and Sam broke up.

This was like watching someone die a slow death and not being able to do anything about it. Bella didn't even look the same. Her eyes were usually bright...now they were just dull, no spark at all. She never laughed at my jokes or the jokes on TV. She never laughed...or smiled. She was a zombie. And as much as I tried, I couldn't pull her out of her funk. She didn't want to go anywhere, do anything. That was the main reason that Charlie agreed to let me use Bella's truck until "she woke up out of her coma" was how he put it.

I felt bad for the man. Bella was suffering and Charlie wasn't doing much better. He relieved me from "babysitting duty" every day but I could see that he wasn't sleeping well either. Every day we both wished for some sort of semblance that Bella was back to normal and every day that wish was left ungranted.

A glimmer of hope registered in my head when I walked into the house and Bella was in the kitchen fixing dinner. She was mobile. Usually when I walked in after Charlie had dropped her off at the house, she was sitting at the table staring straight ahead. She had even taken off her jacket today. Progress!

"Hey Bells, you're alive!"

"Hi Jake." And she was coherent enough to remember who I was.

"Whatcha cookin?"

She looked down at the pot of boiling water, confused as to why it was even there.

"Um, I forget," she answered sheepishly. Then she smiled. I was beyond shocked. The smile was strained, it didn't quite reach her eyes but it was a start. I couldn't wait to tell Charlie the good news.

"Hey, the muscles in your face do work," I said playfully. "Now, if we can just get your brain to work, we might get a meal out of the deal."

"Shut up Jake," she swatted me with a dishtowel but the smile on her face stretched a little.

"So, let's see," I peered into the pot, "what goes well with boiling water?"

"Well, I have a box of macaroni and cheese. That might go well, don't you think?"

"That's using your head." I looked in the refrigerator. There was a bag of fish unthawing and a brown paper bag containing what I knew was Harry Clearwater's famous fish fry. We had a similar bag in our fridge.

"This goes with boiling water too." I tossed the bag of fish to Bella without looking. It made a loud squishy sound as it plopped down on the linoleum.

Bella stared at the bag and a couple of the fish that had fallen out when it hit the floor.

"Um Jacob," Bella sounded confused. "Why would you toss me a bag of raw fish? I can't catch, let alone catch a bag of slimy fish."

"My bad, Bells," I laughed and scooped up the fish. "I'll clean if you cook."

"Fine with me." She even smiled. This was a good day for her. I was glad I was here to help. Wait until Charlie saw his daughter was actually moving around. He would be pleased.

We didn't have to wait long. Fish were frying, noodles cooking, and Bella and I were shucking fresh corn on the cob - we had decided that corn went well with boiling water too – when Charlie walked into the house.

"Jake, I said you didn't have to cook—"

He stopped when he realized that it wasn't me cooking but his own flesh and blood. A careful grin spread across his face.

"Hey Bells," he said. "What are you cooking?"

Bella looked up at her father and for a second she looked remorseful for all the pain she had been causing him.

"Just a few dozen fish since Jake and his appetite showed up for dinner."

Did Bella just make a joke? I caught Charlie staring at me and shrugged. I guess she did.

"How are you feeling Bella?" Charlie asked, genuine concern in his voice. I wanted to disappear. I shouldn't be around for these father-daughter chats.

"Better?" Bella said but it was more of a question, like she was expecting Charlie to answer for her. She looked at me for help.

"Much better than yesterday," I commented.

_Thank you,_ she mouthed when Charlie nodded and went to hang up his coat and holster.

Bella tried to keep up the _better_ face, for Charlie's sake, during dinner. It made her feel awful that she was upsetting Charlie. But we all knew that Bella was far from better. But at least she was talking to us. That was a sign that change was coming, right?

After dinner, when Charlie had retreated to the living room and I was helping Bella with the dishes, her sullen mood returned...almost instantly.

"Jake," I heard her say.

"What?"

"That night...well, I guess it was the morning, Charlie said something to me, and "–she hesitated–"about bonfires on the cliffs. Do you know what he was talking about?"

I thought back to that night. Hmm, bonfires...oh yeah, I remembered now. Sam and his disciples had partied after the council meeting but I didn't know how to tell Bella the reason for their celebration.

"Jake? Did you hear me?" she asked.

"Um, Bells," I started, "I don't think you want to know about that."

She stared into the soapy dishwater. I tried not to look at her but it was hard.

"It was because of..._them,_" her voice cracked. Like always, whenever she talked about the Cullens – and that was rare – she always referred to them that way. And she never ever mentioned Edward.

Then she looked me straight in my eye. Her eyes were angry. I looked away. I was ashamed and I wasn't even _there_.

"My dad said you guys were celebrating that they left. Why, Jacob? Why would you celebrate that?"

"Hey!" I protested. "I wasn't even there! I don't know why Sam doesn't like them," – I was careful not to mention their name as well. "He just doesn't. And if Sam doesn't like something or someone, neither do Jared and Paul."

"But you weren't there?" she questioned and I could see that my being there was what mattered. I was supposed to be Bella's friend. And a real friend wouldn't celebrate their friend's pain.

"No," I assured her. "I was not there. I don't hang with Sam. I was in my house when Charlie called my dad to find out what was going on. I swear." Then I smiled at her, a goofy grin that I hoped would make her smile again.

"Scout's honor."

She didn't smile but the worry was erased from her face. "You're not a Boy Scout."

"You don't know that. How else would I know how to camp and build fires and all that jazz?"

She giggled. _What?_ Bella was laughing? It wasn't much of a laugh but her little giggle had a musical sound to it, like a bell.

"It's in your blood silly. You're an Indian. Isn't that what you do?"

"Oh, you got jokes?" I teased and splashed her with a small spray of soapy dishwater.

"Jake," she griped, "it's too cold for a water fight."

She wasn't ready for fun, just yet. I understood. _Baby steps,_ I reminded myself.

"Jacob," Charlie called from the living room. "Billy just called. He said if you're not doing your math homework, then you better be home in fifteen minutes and get to work."

I grinned at Bella. "Sure, sure."

"What's that all about?" she asked.

"Apparently, my teacher called. Hey, I can't help it if Algebra isn't my strong point. Well," I said reluctantly. "This was fun. We must do it again sometime.

"Okay." The sadness had crept back in Bella's voice. _Damn it, Dad._ He had to ruin it.

Oh, well, there was always tomorrow and the next day, and the next day. I would come here with my goofy jokes as long as they needed me to. I was determined to pull Bella out of this funk.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

I was in the garage, tinkering around with the engine of my car. For some reason I couldn't get the carburetor to work right. I don't know why. Maybe it was because I was really mad and I can't concentrate when I'm pissed off.

Sam Uley is going to drive me crazy! That was about the jist of it. Not _going to_ drive me crazy, he was succeeding in doing that just fine. And I don't know what to do about it. Every single day Sam drops by the house just to check on me. What he is waiting for, I have no idea. And my father doesn't even think it is odd that he's doing it. What does he expect is going to happen to me overnight? That I'm going to disappear?

Today was worse. His visit was even more upsetting because he stayed long enough to prevent me from going to visit Bella. She had been making very good progress, talking and she even laughed about ten times in a month. But Charlie had told my dad that she was doing bad again. I wondered if my absence had anything to do with it since I had been grounded for a week for failing my Algebra test. I had warned my father and Charlie – who had agreed with Billy – that grounding me would be detrimental to Bella's mental health. They had no idea how much she needed me. Still, I was forced to stay on the reservation for seven days. And I couldn't work on my car either. My dad had found someone...probably that damn Sam, to padlock the garage door. That week truly sucked. And now that I was free, I couldn't leave the reservation because Sam wanted to talk. What a freakin waste.

Without meaning too, I started thinking about my conversation with Sam. It was strange and left me feeling on edge and..nervous.

When I had come home from school, Sam was helping my father out of his car.

"What's going on Dad?" I had asked.

"Sam volunteered to take me to the grocery store to pick up some things for Thanksgiving dinner."

_I didn't see any groceries._

"We dropped them off at Charlie's," Billy explained when he saw the doubt cross my face.

Traditionally, Thanksgiving Day is a nationally recognized day of mourning for American Indians. Why should we celebrate the mass murder of thousands of Native Americans, forced relocation of those who weren't slaughtered, the theft of our land, and the many other injustices that we endured?

But when I told Bella that we didn't celebrate Thanksgiving, she practically threw a hissy fit. She literally broke out in tears. After I calmed her and got her talking again – it had taken hours – I promised her that me and Billy would join her and Charlie for dinner. Anything to keep her from locking herself in her room again. Charlie was grateful.

I didn't like the idea of Sam being the one to take Billy to Charlie's. If he had waited for me I could have taken him, especially since I was going to Forks anyway. I still had Bella's truck.

I had walked into the house after Sam and Billy and disappeared into my room. Before I had a chance to make a mad dash for the truck, Sam knocked on my door. I knew it was him because my dad never knocked.

"What?" I yelled.

The door eased open and Sam stepped in, uninvited.

"How are you doing, Jacob?" he asked.

Sam was twenty years old, three years older than Paul and Jared. And huge. Tall and muscular. I found myself wondering if a person had to keep taking steroids for the rest of their life or they would go back to being puny again, like Sam had been before. Like I was now.

"I'm fine," I muttered. "What do you want?"

"How's the rebuild coming along?"

"Fine. What do you want?" I repeated.

Sam looked around. "Can you even fit in here?"

Immediately I was on the defensive. How dare he say anything about my room?

"It's fine," I said, my teeth clenched in anger. "It's a lot more roomy without you in here."

Sam chuckled. "You don't like me very much, do you Jake?"

"My name is Jacob." Only my friends called me Jake.

"Sorry...Jacob. What is it about me that bothers you?"

There were so many things I didn't know where to begin. Then again, I didn't want to. Sam was big. He could probably kick my ass. My dad would probably let him.

"Can you just go?" I asked. "There's somewhere I need to be."

"That..." Sam nodded. "That is what I wanted to talk to you about."

He wanted to talk to me about Bella? That was going too far.

"Why? What's it to you?"

Sam leaned against my dresser and stared at me. His eyes were black and intense. I looked away.

"What has she told you about the Cullens?"

_What?_

"She doesn't talk about them," I said and felt bad about revealing Bella's business to him.

"Not at all?" he pressed.

"No," I barked. "Not at all. I don't ask about them and she doesn't volunteer any information. Why?"

"If she ever tells you anything," he ignored my question. "You have to tell us. It's vital to the tribe."

"Why?" I asked.

"You'll find out soon enough," was Sam's answer. "Just make sure you come straight to me or your dad with any information you can get about them." Then he was gone.

What the hell was he talking about? And if it was so vital to the tribe, why hadn't he answered my question.

Then I made up my mind that even if Bella did tell me anything about the Cullens, I wasn't telling anyone. First, it wasn't my business to tell. And second, if I wasn't important enough to know what they intended to do with the information; they would have to find another source.

****

"That was a great dinner, Bells." Charlie patted his stomach, a message to the cook that she had prepared a delicious Thanksgiving meal.

"Sure was," Billy agreed.

"Thanks," Bella said bashfully as her cheeks flushed bright red. Bella didn't take compliments too well.

I'm surprised she had said anything at all. She hadn't said more than one word sentences all day. She was withdrawn and quiet. She spent most of the afternoon sitting at the kitchen table with her arms wrapped around her chest, when she wasn't at the stove. She wouldn't even talk to me.

Charlie wheeled my dad into the living room and I heard football on the flat screen. I wasn't interested in watching though. I was more concerned with my friend. I hadn't seen much of her lately. She had taken to resorting to her room after school again. I stayed though and did homework in the living room until Charlie came home. I didn't understand. She was making progress and now she was back to square one.

"Bella," I said, "do you want me to help with the dishes?"

She glanced up at me, momentarily, then went back to staring at the table.

"No, I'll get to them later." She stood up. "I think I'll go to my room and take a nap."

That's the last thing I wanted her to do. She didn't need to sleep. She'd been sleeping enough during the day to make up for the fact that she didn't sleep well at night.

I hadn't known this but I overheard my father and Charlie talking about it one day when Charlie came to La Push to visit. He'd said that Bella was having nightmares and that she often woke up screaming, as if she was being killed. 'Scared the bejesus' outta him is what Charlie admitted.

"A nap? Bella, it's not even five o'clock," I said. "I know you don't like football, but it might help –"

"Don't tell me what to do, Jacob Black!" she yelled.

Her voice, the tone and the fact that she was screaming at me caught me totally by surprise.

"Bells," I said slowly. "Why are you screaming? I'm right here. And I wasn't telling you what to do. I was just suggesting that -"

"I know what you were suggesting," she interrupted me again. "And I don't appreciate it. You don't know what's best for me. No one knows what's best for me except me!"

She was hysterical. She was up out of the chair and in my face before I knew it.

"You don't think I know why you come here every day?" she yelled at me. "You think I'm stupid enough not to see that you're here watching me, making sure that I don't hurt myself. But I tell you what, Jacob Black! I'm not crazy! I'm not some stupid mental person! And I don't need a kid babysitting me. So get out of here! I don't ever want to see you again!"

Bella ran out of the kitchen and I heard her fall up the steps.

"Leave me alone!" she cried when her father tried to help her.

Slowly, stunned, I walked into the living room.

"What the hell was that all about?" Charlie questioned me.

I shrugged. "I don't know. All I did was suggest that she didn't take a nap at five o'clock in the afternoon. What was so wrong about that?"

I felt really bad. Not because Bella had screamed that she never wanted to see me again. I knew that wasn't true. But because I had upset her, though I didn't know how I did. She was already an emotional wreck. I had no right to make it worse.

"Should we leave like she said?" I asked Charlie. "I don't want to make her even more upset."

"No, it'll be okay." But the look on his face said he didn't believe it. "But maybe you shouldn't come over after school for a couple of days. Give her some time to cool off."

I nodded but I knew that Bella would need much more than a few days to cool off. I didn't know how but it was clear that I had reopened a wound that was only partially healed.

Maybe my visits were doing more harm than good. Maybe they weren't even working. Either way, I planned to do exactly what Bella had told me to do. I didn't believe that I'd never see her again. But she needed more time to recover. I realized that no one, not me, her father, or any of her friends would be able to force her through this. Bella would have to heal at her own pace. We were going about it the wrong way.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

"Jake, what's the answer to number ten?" Quil whispered, leaning back in his chair trying to get my attention.

I shrugged. How would I know?

We were in the middle of an Algebra test. I was struggling to come up with the answer to number five and Quil was asking me about _ten_. I hadn't even looked at ten. I glanced at the wall clock. Twenty-five minutes left and I wasn't even halfway done with the twenty question test. And I had to do well. My dad had done further than padlocking the garage. He warned me that if I failed another quiz or test he was going to _sell my car!_ I had to focus. Now how in the hell was I supposed to make x and y equal a number?

I've been struggling with this stupid class all semester. There were three things in class that were working against me today. One, it was sunny out and my desk was right near the window. Two, Quil was there, and three, Algebra is the last class of the day. Twenty-five minutes and school would be out. But if I didn't do well on the test, I'm sure that Mr. Call, Embry's father and our evil Algebra teacher would call my dad. Matter of fact, I would have _bet_ my car that he would.

Before I knew it, my stupid pencil had snapped in two. I wasn't even aware of the fact that I was holding it so tightly. I heard Quil laugh and it took all of my restraint to not reach out and hit him in the back of his head. Even worse, I didn't have another pencil.

Mr. Call hadn't been paying attention to us. He was sitting behind his big old desk reading a book but he looked up when my pencil made its audible snap.

"Is there a problem, Jacob?"

"Um, no. My pencil broke."

"Get another one."

_Really, Captain Obvious? _I groaned in my head. I wished I could disappear as Quil led the class in loud snickers.

Out of the corner of my eye I watched a pink mechanical pencil slide across my desk. I looked down at the well manicured copper colored hand that was pushing it.

"You can borrow mine," Leah Clearwater whispered.

I looked down at the fragile looking pencil. _Pink?_

Leah smiled bashfully. It surprised me. I hadn't seen her smile in months. She was actually prettier when she smiled.

"Sorry, it's the only one I have."

Who was I to complain? I picked up the pencil and refocused my attention on my paper.

"Jacob," Leah whispered. For half of a semester Leah had sat across the room, right by the door. I wondered when she moved her desk to my side of the room.

"What?"

"X is 5 and Y equals 12. Look." She turned her paper towards me with the discretion I wished my friends had. I glanced at her work quickly, realizing two things; the answer was right and how she got to that answer.

"They're all like that," she said. "Really easy. But just copy mine so you don't get in trouble."

I wasn't about to turn down her offer. I quickly copied down the twenty answers on my desk and nodded at her. She grinned and got up to turn in her test.

I waited until the very last minute to turn mine in...let Mr. Call think I'd taken my time and worked really hard.

By the time I exited the school, I wasn't thinking about anything but going home. The weekend was here! I had plans to work on my car and do a little Christmas shopping. I had a few bucks in my pocket from fixing Emily's car. Emily was Sam's girlfriend. Normally I would have told Sam to go to hell when he asked me to do it but I needed the money.

"Jake!" Quil called and I slowed down.

"Why are you walking so fast?" he asked.

"I'm not. I'm just tall. I take big steps because my legs are long."

"Where you headed?" Quil asked.

"Home."

Quil looked at me strangely. "You're not going to Bella's? It's been weeks since you went down there. What happened? Did she break up with you?"

I frowned. I hadn't told Quil or Embry what had happened on Thanksgiving because it was none of their business.

"No, it's nothing like that. I just have better things to do with my time. I have to finish my car."

"Oh. Well, let's go grab a pizza. I'm starving. We can take my dad's car."

I thought about it. Car or food. In the end food won.

I saw Leah walking out of the building, actually laughing with a group of her girlfriends and remembered that I still had her pencil.

"Go get the car, loser," I said to Quil. "Meet me at my house in fifteen minutes."

"Yeah, right. Fifteen minutes," Quil scoffed. "You're not that fast."

"Watch."

I jogged away from him and over to Leah. She looked surprised to see me.

"What's up Jacob?"

I reached into my pocket and pulled out her pencil.

"I forgot to give this back to you."

"Thank you," she grinned again. This was a record. I wondered what had gotten into her when her grin faded into a piercing frown. I thought she was looking at me but her eyes were looking past me. I turned around and saw Sam's brown Toyota pulling in front of the school.

"Leah!" he called. "Come here for a sec!"

Leah looked like she wanted to die. No, like she wanted to kill someone...Sam. She grabbed my arm.

"Jacob, do me a favor and walk with me," she pleaded. "I don't want to talk to him."

"I know how you feel."

I made a big show of smiling at Leah and taking her books. I even held her hand while we walked in the opposite direction of Sam's car. But she remained silent with a tight frown on her face. Her lower lip quivered and I felt her hand shaking in mine.

Quickly I led her away from the sidewalk and onto a well worn path in the trees surrounding the school. I held her hand tighter as we walked deeper into the snow covered trees where no one could see us.

"Leah," I said, more concerned that she was about to have a nervous breakdown than I was about meeting Quil at my house.

"Are you okay?"

She nodded as her eyes filled with tears. For the first time since I've known her, Leah Clearwater wasn't acting tough. She was heartbroken. This was what I'd expected from Bella, not the walking zombie that she'd become. At least Leah acknowledged her pain.

I put my arms around her and pulled her into my chest. Her tears were turning my blue parka black but I didn't care. It looked like she needed a release.

"It's gonna be okay," I murmured into her jet black hair.

"I know," she said, her words muffled by my thick coat. "I just have to get over him. But he's everywhere," she wailed.

"I know. But you don't have to deal with him. Ignore Sam."

"I can't," she said angrily and backed up. "Did you hear that they're getting married? He's marrying my freakin cousin! And guess what! She wants me to be a bridesmaid."

Wow! That was low. I didn't say anything.

"And I have to pretend that everything's fine," she continued. "My mom and dad keep saying that soon I'll understand what happened and I'll accept the fact that Sam and Emily are supposed to be together. What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

A fallen tree served as a bench as Leah plopped down on it and wiped the tears from her eyes with her gloves. I sat down next to her. Even with puffy eyes and a red nose, Leah was gorgeous. Why hadn't I ever noticed that before? Maybe because she spent most of her time being such a hard ass, it was hard for anyone to really be around her, especially after the breakup.

"Lee-Lee, you're gorgeous," I uttered before I could stop myself.

"Shut up, Jacob. You're not helping."

"Hey, I didn't bring you here to help," I laughed. "I brought you here so you wouldn't break down crying in front of the entire Quileute Tribal School population."

A small grin. "Thank you."

"But for real, you are gorgeous. Sam is stupid to have broke up with you. Besides, you'll find someone else. I bet you have a boyfriend by Valentine's Day."

"That's a bet you just might lose," she countered. "I don't want another boyfriend."

"Yes, you do," I argued. "All sixteen year old girls want a boyfriend."

"What about sixteen year old boys? Do you get a pass because I heard through the grapevine that Jacob Black doesn't want a girlfriend?"

"Who's been talking about me?" I asked, stunned that I would be the topic of anyone's conversation.

"Oh come on," Leah said. "You know that next to Sam, you're the guy that most of these girls get up and come to school for. Don't play that shy guy act."

"What are you talking about?"

Leah stood up. In her black bomber jacket, snow boots, and jeans, she looked great! Had I been too busy to notice that she wasn't just Leah Clearwater, the girl from across the street that used to get me in trouble all of the time? When did she get cute?

"Jacob, don't act like you don't know. You're like a hundred feet tall, perfect skin, perfect teeth, gorgeous smile, funny as hell, cool to hang out with," she shook her head. "Hmm, what else do they say about you? Oh yeah, gorgeous hair, a real guy's guy. Even the girls in Forks think you're hot."

"Stop playin with me, Leah. No one's talking about me. Least of all, the girls on this reservation."

"Jacob Black," Leah said my name like she was clearly amazed. "I never knew that you lacked self-esteem. What a shame. You, of all people, should have the most confidence. Have you not noticed that you can stop conversations when you walk in a room?"

I shook my head. "You're just saying stuff now."

"This is too cute," Leah said and playfully ruffled my hair. "What are we going to do about you?"

"I'd start with a haircut but Billy will kill me if I cut my hair."

"Don't," she said, her voice taking on a different tone. "I like it long. It's kind of...sexy."

What? Was Leah flirting with me? This was awkward.

"Um, Rudolph," I said, touching the pad of my finger to her nose, "I think it's time we get you in the house."

"Yeah, I guess so," but her eyes still had that flirty girl look. Then she smiled. "Some of these girls are going to be so jealous when they see Jacob Black walking me home."

"Some of those girls should mind their business and then they should remember that we live across the street from each other." But I did look at some of the sophomore girls as we came out of the woods and started walking home. Leah was right. Some of them were jealous. Leah caught me smiling.

"See, I told you," she whispered and held my hand. But this wasn't me acting for Sam's benefit. I wondered if Leah was acting for the girls' benefit.

"So you haven't been to Forks in awhile," Leah stated after a minute of silent walking. I couldn't tell if she was asking or just pointing out a fact.

"No reason to."

"Why were you going there anyway?" she asked.

"I thought a friend needed my help. I was wrong," I admitted.

"Chief Swan's daughter? Is she really that heartbroken over that Cullen boy breaking up with her? I heard that she's really bad off, like a zombie."

"She'll be alright," I muttered. I felt oddly protective of Bella. I didn't want Leah to think that she was weak.

"Not everyone can be tough like you, Lee-Lee."

She laughed. "I cannot believe you still call me that. You know you're the only one who does."

I laughed too. "That's because I'm special."

"You think you're special," she teased and I was glad to hear a little laughter come from her.

Leah may not have shut herself out from the world like Bella but after her breakup, she wasn't herself either. She was mean-spirited and moody. Whereas Bella didn't want to be around anyone, no one wanted to be around Leah. It was nice to hear her sound like herself.

"Hey, you wanna come over and help me with the Rabbit's transmission tomorrow?" I asked. I was enjoying talking to Leah and didn't want this to be our last conversation. Besides, she was the only girl on the whole reservation who shared my interest in cars and building things.

"You're going to let me touch your precious car?" she asked.

"Well, if it weren't for you and what you did today in Algebra, my precious car would have been a thing of the past."

"Glad I could help...and yes, I would love to help with the transmission." She smiled up at me and I realized that Leah actually had a cute smile, a little crooked and flirty, like she was playing a game. I liked it.

We turned to go our separate ways – I could see Quil waiting impatiently in his father's car for me – then Leah turned around.

"thanks again...for earlier, Jacob," her voice was a little above a whisper. "I dind't mean to make you uncomfortable or anything. I just needed to get some of that off my chest."

I reached out and ruffled her hair. "No worries. I completely understand. I'll see you tomorrow. Come over whenever, I'll be in the garage all day."

"okay," she nodded and walked towards her house.

I watched her for a second. Leah Clearwater...hmmm, we used to play together when we were little. Play wasn't really the right word. Fight, ruffhouse, fight some more is what we used to do. She was a tomboy when we were kids. We'd climb trees, hike in the forest. Leah was strong and sometimes hard to keep up with. She was the cause of more of my broken bones than me. We used to get into so much trouble.

But then she started to grow up and become a girl. she changed a lot and none of us – me, Quil, Embry – expected her to become a girly girl. then she met Sam and it was a wrap. She was 100% in love with Sam Uley. They were always together, finishing each other sentences, all that mushy stuff that couples do. Harry and Sue couldn't have been happier. They knew for sure that Leah and Sam would get married after she finished high school.

Then all of a sudden, in the middle of the summer, Sam disappeared. He was gone for a week. When he came back, he was different...darker. he broke up with Leah without a reasonable explanation. Then from what I heard, he saw Emily on the beach one day and it was like love at first sight. Leah hasn't been the same since.

But today, I caught glimpses of the old Leah and I liked what I saw. I was actually looking forward to seeing her the next day.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter** **8**

Christmas Eve night and it was snowing…again.

The snow was falling harder than it had all winter and I was glad that I wasn't out in it. Although I did want to work on my car but the heater in the garage had broke, and neither me nor Leah knew how to fix it. Maybe after New Year's and the snow cleared, I could find someone to pay me to fix their car or something, then I'd have some extra money to buy a new one.

Out the corner of my eye, I saw my dad wheel past the bathroom where I was standing in front of the mirror. In a little over three weeks my face had started to lose some of its roundness. Leah pointed it out to me. She said I was beginning to look like a younger version of my father. Her exact words were 'Jacob, look at you, getting all grown up on me. You're starting to look like your dad when he was younger." What I heard was "Jacob, you're starting to look like a man." And I was certainly okay with that.

Even my clothes fit different now...more snug in the arms and legs because of my newly developing muscles. Running around the reservation with Leah was definitely paying off.

I didn't know that hanging out with Leah would turn out to be so fun. If I had known, I probably would have done it a long time ago. Since the first day she came into the garage to help me with my car, we've hung out almost every day. Mostly, just working on the Rabbit. Rebuilding the transmission was a three or four person job and I was glad for the help. Then she started teasing me for my eating habits and lack of exercise...well, lack of muscles. When I explained to her that I wasn't a jock or the weight lifting type of guy, she laughed and told me that I didn't have to lift weights to build muscle. Just exercising the right muscles would help. Then she started to give me books and force me to go jogging with her.

As I stood in front of the mirror, admiring my new look, I was secretly proud to be the guy that the girls "got up and went to school for".

"Are you dressing up for Leah?" my father teased.

I looked down at my black jeans and thin black sweater. I didn't think I was dressed up.

"No," I answered. "We're just going to watch 'A Christmas Story'. You know the marathon starts tonight."

Billy groaned. "Twenty-four hours of that movie again this year."

"Yup," I laughed. "By the way, you still owe me a Red Rider BB gun."

"You'll shoot your eye out," he laughed as he rolled into his room.

Sometimes I think my father can see the future because as soon as he shut his bedroom door, I heard the front door open.

"Leah?" I called out.

"And Seth," she answered. "We brought popcorn."

I stepped out of the bathroom after giving myself one last onceover. Three long strides and I was in the living room. I stopped dead in my tracks, unable to take my eyes off Leah.

_What the heck was going on?_

Leah looked drop dead, heart stopping, GORGEOUS!

Her long black hair was tied back and fell down her back in shiny black waves. The black sweater dress she was wearing hugged her body, accenting the curve of her hips and breasts. I felt guilty even looking. I never thought about Leah's breasts, but there they were, like two small mounds covered in thick black cotton.

I could stop my eyes from roaming down her body to where her dress stopped mid-thigh. Even covered in black tights, I could see how shapely and muscular Leah's legs were.

I felt a lump in my throat and a familiar stirring in my pants when the image of what she might have been wearing under her dress flashed through my mind. I mean, what else goes with all black except black panties and a black bra.

"Hey, we match!" Leah exclaimed, shaking me out of my fantasy.

"Yeah," I said slowly, regaining my composure. This was Leah, after all. "We do. Where are you guys coming from?"

"My dad had a work party," Seth explained. "Mom forced us to go with her." He plopped down on the floor in front of the television and grabbed the remote. A few seconds later, our favorite Christmas movie was playing on TBS.

"Just in time," Leah commented but her eyes were on me. I felt her eyes travel from the top of my head down to my legs with exaggerated appreciation. Even though Leah never said anything, I knew she liked what she saw.

"Hey, Leah, come help me with the popcorn," I said and walked into the kitchen. Making popcorn was just the distraction I needed from the sudden _feelings_ that I was having. Besides, I wasn't good with the popcorn machine anyway. In fact, after a near electrocution episode with me and my sister Rachel, I wasn't supposed to use it. Dad's rule.

"Jacob, I must, say," Leah started to say as she poured the popcorn and oil into the complicated machine. "Working out is really doing you good. You look great."

Inside I beamed with pride. On the outside, I remained cool.

"Sure, sure. I can say the same about you. Black is definitely your color."

_Or your new last name..._

What? Where did that come from? Leah was my workout partner, my number two in the garage. She was not my girlfriend.

_Not yet, anyway._

"Really? You like the black?" Leah sat down at the table next to me. "My mom says it's too Goth, like she even knows what Goth is."

"It looks good," I commented, staring down at the table. I didn't want to look directly into her eyes again. She'd know that I was thinking some things I should not be thinking about how good she really looked in black.

"Jake? What's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing," I lied and stood up without even considering "the situation" I had going on in my jeans. As if it were a magnet, Leah's eyes were drawn to the unmistakable bulge in my jeans.

SHIT!

"Wow, Jacob," she teased, "I didn't know you felt that way about me."

"Shut up," I growled. "You're about to burn the popcorn." I stormed out of the kitchen and went into my room.

I shut the door quietly so Billy wouldn't come out, thinking that something was wrong. But something was wrong. I mean, I've had this happen before, it was nothing new. But never with Leah Clearwater. Never.

But the evidence that she was turning me on was clear...and she hadn't even done anything! Was I really that big of a perv?

I had to get a handle on the situation quickly and I wasn't about to do what I usually would do. I would never hear the end of it if Quil or Embry found out that I had choked the chicken to the image of Leah Clearwater in her bra and panties.

That thought seemed to do the trick and a few seconds later I was able to leave my room. I went into the living room instead of the kitchen and settled down on the couch. Seth barely looked up, he was engrossed in the movie like we didn't watch it every year. Leah came into the kitchen carrying two large bowls of popcorn. It smelled great and my stomach began to rumble. That was better than what happened before.

"We're not that greedy," I joked.

"You may not be," she replied, "but my brother is. Here, Seth," she handed him one of the bowls then sat on the other end of the couch with the bowl of popcorn in the middle. This was safe.

Eventually Billy joined us to watch the movie at least once during the twenty-four hour marathon. We were into the second showing when he rolled in. Leah made him some more popcorn and I helped him settle onto the couch. Although he had to use the wheelchair to get around, my dad refused to stay in it all the time. He enjoyed his furniture before the accident and was determined to enjoy it after. And I didn't mind lifting him out of his chair so he could enjoy a simple thing like sitting on the sofa or at the kitchen table with me.

"Leah," my Dad said, "do you remember that time you all bet Jacob to stick his tongue to a pole?"

Leah burst out laughing. "Oh my God! I can't believe we did that. Who was it again?"

"The twins," my dad smiled. "You, Quil, Embry, and Jared."

Seth turned around and looked at me. "Did you do it, Jake?"

I nodded. "Heck yeah. They bet me a bag of gummi bears each."

"Did it work?" Seth asked.

"Oh yeah, it did," my dad laughed out loud. "I remember the twins running home to tell me that Jacob had stuck his tongue on a pole. They were hysterical."

"How did you get it off?" Seth asked. "Did they pull it off like the movie?"

"No," I shook my head. "Billy and Chief Swan came with some hot water and poured it on the pole. It took a few tries but it came off with no problem."

"Then he started crying," Leah added, "because none of us really had any gummi bears to give him."

"Then you all got in trouble," I teased. "And Chief Swan took me to the candy store. I ended up with a lot more than some gummi bears."

Leah's cell phone started to ring, interrupting our teasing. She was grinning when she hung up.

"Seth, Mom said to come home now. It's after midnight."

"Aww man, why do I have to go and you don't," Seth whined.

"Because you're not sixteen," Leah stated smugly.

Reluctantly, Seth did as he was told and walked out the door after wishing everyone a Merry Christmas. Billy wanted to go to bed too, leaving me and Leah alone in the living room.

"So," Leah dragged the word out slowly. "Do you want to watch the movie again?"

"What else is on?"

"Probably more Christmas specials. After all, it is Christmas day."

"Oh yeah," I said. "Merry Christmas."

"You too," she said but it looked like she wanted to say more. I ignored it.

"You know what I'm really in the mood for," I asked. "A really good scary movie."

Leah's face lit up. "Me too! Whatcha got?"

My eyes skimmed the bookcase that held my extensive DVD collection.

"Let's see, you want scary or blood and gore?"

"How about a little of both?" Leah suggested and I think I began to like her even more.

"Well, we got Hellraiser, that's a classic. Wait," I broke off and crossed the room to the Christmas tree. I picked up the box of movies Rachel had sent me of Christmas.

"My sister just sent me a bunch of old scary movies. This one looks really good." I held up a DVD called The Company of Wolves. The cover looked really creepy, like Little Red Riding Hood meets The American Werewolf in Paris.

"Ooh, what's that one about?"

I read the back cover out loud. "The tangled forest is misty with mystery, the thatched cottages are cure and quaint, and the dashing rogues are devious charmers, but this revision of "Little Red Riding Hood" is not your usual fairy tale. In the troubled dreams of an adolescent girl in the hormonal rush of puberty, it becomes a veritable werewolf story with lush storybook imager, gothic horror flourishes, and decidedly sexual implications."

I paused at _sexual implications._ Was that what we really needed tonight, alone in the living room?

Obviously, Leah wasn't thinking the same thing. "Put it in," she urged. "That sounds awesome!"

I put the DVD in the player and sat back on the couch, still hesitant about the _sexual implications_ and even more still, when Leah got up and turned off the light.

"You cannot watch scary movies with the light on."

I agreed, not sure how I felt about sitting so close to a hot girl in the dark, even if we were just watching a movie. It seemed like I didn't have a choice in the matter, though. Leah wanted to watch the movie, Leah had turned off the light, and now Leah was sitting rather close to me, her legs curled underneath her.

The movie was good and soon I was lost in the story and wasn't even paying attention to the girl next to me. My discomfort at being so close to Leah quickly passed because I liked being this close to her. I liked how she leaned in closer to me, resting her head on my shoulder during the really scary parts. I liked how her eyes lit up with the same kind of excitement as I when we both realized that her arm had snaked its way around my waist and mine around her shoulders.

Too soon the movie was over but neither of us made an attempt to move out of our comfortable position as the credits rolled up the screen. Leah's head was on my chest and I wondered if she was listening to the beating of my heart.

"Do you want to watch another one?" I whispered, though I knew my father had long been asleep. My hand massaged her shoulder absently and I heard a soft sigh escape her lips.

"I can't," she finally said. "It's like two in the morning. I'm sure my parents want me to come home."

"It's not like they don't know where you are, Lee-Lee," I replied softy. "You're right across the street."

I felt her mouth form a smile against the cotton of my sweater.

"I know. But I don't think Harry and Sue will be too happy with either of us if I fell asleep over here, even if we were just watching a movie. We're not six anymore, Jake."

Boldly I moved my hand along her back and gently brushed it along the curve of her backside.

"I definitely know that," I said.

Leah looked up at me, and I knew two things at once. One, she was surprised and a little excited about the feel of my hand on her behind and two, she wanted to kiss me.

Without saying anything we leaned towards each other simultaneously. My lips covered hers softly as I inhaled her slightly floral scent. Leah Clearwater smelled like lavender with a hint of honey. Her lips were warm and soft, as they moved against mine.

She shifted a little, pressing her body tighter against me. I twirled strands of her black hair between my fingers as I explored the inside of her mouth with my tongue.

Too soon Leah pulled away slowly but she never took her eyes off of mine.

"You're a good kisser," she whispered.

"I could be better...with practice." I winked at her and she laughed softly.

"I better head home." She sat up and straightened out her dress.

I stood up too.

"I'll walk you home. Can't let the big bad wolf get you."

I helped Leah into her jacket and opened the door quietly, hoping that I could keep it from creaking and alerting Billy to what time Leah was leaving.

A blistering blast of cold air hit us as soon as we stepped on the porch. Leah shivered a little.

"Jake, I'm good. You don't have to walk me across the street. You don't even have a coat on."

"Hey," I protested. "Can I pretend to be a gentleman for five minutes at least, geez?"

"And that's exactly what you'll be doing, pretending," Leah laughed. "Cuz you weren't a gentleman a few minutes ago, feelin me up on your couch."

I burst out laughing. "You weren't complaining."

Leah's laugh was lighthearted as she took my hand and started to lead me down the steps.

"Come on, you. Walk me home, so you don't die out here in the cold."

We walked across my yard slowly, neither of us really wanting the night to end. This was a new Leah, a girl that I could finally relate to. We had the same interests and we had fun together. Plus, I liked how her body felt against mine as I kissed her again on the front porch of her house. This time it was longer, as she held me tight around my waist, holding her head up while I leaned down to kiss her. I wondered if this _thing_ with Leah could possibly turn into something. Who knew that anything good could ever come out of an Algebra class?

Walking back to my house, I was on cloud nine. It had been a really good night. I couldn't help but wonder how Bella and Charlie were spending their Christmas. Charlie had told my father that Bella was going to spend New Years with her mother in Florida. He didn't think that Bella even comprehended that she was going. He said that she wasn't making much progress, though she went to work and school every day.

From school, I had emailed her but never got a response. I've called and left messages but she never returns my calls. I know she's not mad at me so it doesn't upset me that she won't talk to me. She has to get through this on her own. She's not the type of girl who seeks comfort and advice from other people. If I know anything about Bella Swan, it's that she likes to make her own decisions and deal with things her own way. I wished my dad and Charlie would realize that. Bella didn't need me right now. When she did, she'd come around.

Before I walked into my house, I looked back towards the Clearwater house. Leah's bedroom light was on and her curtains were open. I could see her silhouette as she changed into her nightclothes. Even her shadow was hot! I'd never regarded Leah as anything more than a friend, but tonight, we'd clearly became something else, something that I wasn't completely sure that either of us was ready for. She was still recovering from her own painful breakup. But we'd crossed the friendship line. And had done so willingly and had a lot of fun doing it. I like Leah and I am definitely sure that she likes me too. Hell, she even liked me enough to kiss me. Things were making progress and even though I hadn't set out on a mission to help her get over Sam, I'm glad that I was the one she was choosing to get over him with.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

"Jake!" Quil called from across the cafeteria. He was standing on a chair and waving his arms wildly like I couldn't see him or the regular guys from La Push sitting at our normal lunch table.

"I'm coming!" I yelled back, irritating the cafeteria monitor. He was a fake security guard from Hoquiam who didn't like the La Push kids – a well known fact – but I didn't care. He glared at me and I stared at him with a glint in my eye, daring him to say something. It wasn't like he could beat me.

I finished piling food on my tray and crossed the room to sit with my friends. The topic of conversation was our big trip to Hurricane Ridge the following weekend.

Typically tribes on reservations don't celebrate traditional American holidays like Presidents Day. We are Native Americans, _native _being the key word. We were here first so it doesn't make sense to celebrate our unlawful undoing. We have our own holidays and traditions, days that are not recognized by the _pale faces_. But the schools do take the liberty of observing some holidays.

Since our reservation is in such close proximity to Forks, if Forks High School is closed on Martin Luther King Day so is the Quileute Tribal School. Most of us didn't even care about the holiday; we were just excited to have a rare three day weekend.

There was still a little snow on the ground but up in the mountains of Hurricane Ridge we were guaranteed lots of snow. It's the only place to ski and snowboard that our parents feel comfortable letting us go to without adult supervision.

"What's up?" I greeted my friends as I took my seat at the crowded table. There were five fully loaded trays and there was hardly room for mine.

"Geez, Jacob," Embry moaned. "Did you save any food for the rest of the kids?"

I looked at my tray. It was piled with sandwiches, chips, and cookies but when I looked at Embry's he had twice as much food as me.

"Ha ha," I replied sarcastically. "Look at your tray. I know this may be the only chance you get to eat every day, but I have plenty of food in my house."

"Ooh, smartass," Embry grinned. "But pork and beans and hot dogs ain't really food."

I opened a bag of Doritos. "Then stop coming over and eating them," I added.

The joking and teasing continued until Leah approached the table. It wasn't the first time that she'd joined us for lunch since we'd started to hang out. But she still was able to stop the conversation at the table of six sixteen year old boys, most of whom had a crush on her.

"Move over Jake," she nudged me with her hip.

"Leah, go sit with the girls," Embry said. He was the only one who wasn't happy with our lunch table seating arrangements. He still hadn't gotten over the fact that Leah kissed me when he'd been trying to get with her since she and Sam broke up.

"There's no room over here."

I grinned and patted my lap. "As long as I have a lap, there'll always be room for her," I said just to mess with him.

"Thank you," Leah smiled at me and sat down, on my leg. Embry shot daggers at me but I just laughed. It wasn't my fault. I didn't choose this…it just worked out that way.

"So, what's the topic today? More of Embry's gas? Jordan's crush on Rosa?" Leah asked, referring to what we'd been talking about in Biology class.

"Actually, we're talking about our trip to Hurricane Ridge. You're coming right?" Quil asked.

"Of course. And I'm bringing Rosa, Jordan." I wasn't the only one who caught the wink that Leah gave Jordan. I'm sure he would have blushed if the rest of us weren't around.

"So, who's all driving?" I asked, trying to ignore Leah's fingers playing with the rubber band holding my hair back into my usual ponytail. For weeks she'd been trying to convince me to let my hair fall naturally and I'd been trying to convince her that long hair was for girls. My father was the reason I couldn't cut it.

"I'm getting my mom's car," Leah said.

"And my dad is letting me use his car," Quil added.

"Man, I wish someone on the rez had a Suburban or something big that we all could fit in," Jordan stated. We all agreed.

"We're going to need another car," I noted.

"Finish the Rabbit, Black, and drive your own car," was Embry's slick response.

"Buy me a new transmission and I will."

"Well, my friend Kim has a minivan," Leah suggested. "Maybe she'll drive."

"Kim's coming?" Quil piped in. "I'm riding with her. That girl is hot! Hotter than even you, Leah."

Leah rolled her eyes. "Thanks Quil."

"So, we leave tomorrow after school," I spoke up. "We can bring our gear here in the morning and load up the cars before school. Then get on the road as soon as the bell rings." I hadn't noticed that my hand was on Leah's knee as I was talking until I felt the warmth of her hand on top of mine. I looked up at her and grinned sheepishly. She laughed.

"This is gonna be awesome!" Quil said. His excited reflected the way we all were feeling. Three days skiing and snowboarding _without our parents._ We were going to have the time of our lives.

"So...I was thinking about inviting Bella," I stated and a weird hush came over the table. I felt Leah stiffen on my lap.

"Really?" Embry said, looking back and forth from me and Leah. "You think that's a good idea?"

I shrugged. "Yeah, she hasn't been out the house in months, 'cept for school and work. I think she'll have fun. Why is everyone looking at me like I said something wrong? Y'all don't like Bella?"

"It's not that we don't like her..." Jordan started to say but a quick hiss from Leah cut him off.

I looked at Leah. If possible, her black eyes were even blacker. She was mad.

"What?" I asked her.

"Is there a particular reason you want to invite her?" she asked me. "Or are you just being nice?"

"What do you mean a particular reason? I just said why I wanted to invite her."

Then it hit me. Leah was mad because I wanted to invite another girl. She actually thought I was inviting Bella because I wanted to spend time with her. She must have been listening to Quil and Embry months ago when they were joking that I was in love with Bella.

I squeezed Leah's waist and grinned at her, hopefully letting her know without saying that I was happy with spending the weekend with her. That my invitation to Bella was strictly platonic.

I don't think that she got it because after lunch was over, Leah didn't speak to me for the rest of the day. She didn't even wait for me to come out of the building before she started walking home with some of her girlfriends. I decided not to push my luck. Leah wasn't known for her reasonable temper. I would see her later in the garage...if she came over to help with the car again. If she didn't I would go see her and talk it out. It wasn't like she was officially my girlfriend...we were just hanging out together and we've kissed a couple of times. That doesn't make her my girlfriend. She didn't have a right to be jealous or mad. Did she?

****

I laid, sprawled out on the couch watching Maury, tossing the cordless phone from hand to hand.

It had been a couple of months since I've actually spoken to Bella. It wasn't like I wasn't trying. I was keeping my end of the bargain by staying out of her face. Still, I called her and she never called me back. Plus I had to hear how bad she was doing from Charlie, of all people. Every time he told us something new, I would call Bella, just to see if there was anything I could do. All I got was her voicemail. Sometimes her phone went to voicemail after just one ring so I knew she must have looked at the caller ID, saw it was me and decided not to answer. I should have been pissed at her behavior. After all, I wasn't the one who had broke her heart. But I wasn't mad...not yet anyway. I didn't know how many more unreturned phone messages I could leave before her silence drove me into the mad zone.

I decided to give her one more shot. If she didn't answer, I wasn't going to leave a message and I wasn't going to call her again. Instead, I was going over to Leah's and work things out with her. I needed to do that anyway.

I dialed the Swan's phone number. The house phone rang and rang. I hung up and tried Bella's cell phone. Maybe she wasn't home from school yet.

"Hello." Bella's voice sounded so detached, like she was in a far away place. I dreaded to think where that place was...mentally.

"What's up Bells?" I said cheerfully.

"Hi Jake."

"Whatcha been up to? I've been trying to reach you for weeks."

"I've been...busy," she answered in that same detached tone.

"Whoa, Bells," I said, "you sound...awful."

"And?" she answered. "That's how I feel."

I felt sorry for her. "You still haven't heard from him?"

"No," Bella whispered so low I could barely hear her. "I'm never going to hear from him again."

"Don't say that. He might realize that he made a mistake and call you," I said hopefully.

"He's not. He doesn't want me anymore," her voice dragged. "What do you want, Jacob?"

"Come on Bella, cheer up. If that Edward" – I heard her inhale sharply and I amended my sentence – "if _he's_ smart, he wouldn't just give you up. Don't beat -"

"What do you want, Jacob?" she repeated sharply. It was obvious that she didn't want to talk about her boyfriend...ex boyfriend.

"Well, I was just calling you to see if you wanted to come with me and some friends to Hurricane Ridge. We're going skiing."

"I don't think so," she said without hesitation.

"Come on, Bella, you need to get out the house...hang out with friends."

"I don't know anyone from La Push. Those are your friends, not mine," was her hasty response.

"You know me. I thought I was your friend."

A deep breath. "I'm not going skiing, Jacob."

"Bella," I said. "You might really have fun and believe me, you need to have some fun."

Click.

I looked at the phone, unable to believe what had just happened.

_Did Bella just hang up on me?_

The phone buzzing in my ear confirmed my question.

I tossed the phone on the sofa. Forget it. I tried everything possible. Bella Swan was helpless. There was nothing I could do for her. If she wanted to wallow in her own pool of misery, I wasn't going to have anything to do with it. I wasn't going to waste my energy worrying about her when obviously she didn't care if I did or not.

****

"Hey Leah, hand me that clamp, will you?"

I was working on reassembling my transmission after I'd stupidly took it apart without realizing that it wasn't necessary. Leah was sitting on the floor checking some gauges. Her mind was somewhere else too. She absently handed me a vise grip. Not what I asked for.

I shook my head and crossed the tiny garage. It seemed that my garage was getting smaller and smaller...or was I just getting that much taller?

I sat across from Leah and stared at her.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

She looked up from the gas gauge. "What are you talking about?"

I held up the vise grip. "This isn't a clamp."

"Well, you're going to need that too," was her response.

I reached out and placed my fingers under her chin. I raised her head so she would look at me for once today.

"What's going on?"

She moved my hand away from her and scooted back.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"I do."

She shook her head. "No, you really don't."

"What is with you girls today?" I grumbled. "What did I do to piss so many of you off today?"

"I'm not mad at you, Jacob," she replied, still looking at the gauge.

"Then what is the problem?" I was getting frustrated. I didn't have much experience with girls but this is beyond ridiculous.

"Why'd you invite Bella Swan to Hurricane Ridge with us?"

"I already told you why," I groaned.

Leah stared at me coldly. I recognized this look immediately. I've been on the receiving end of it far too many times that I'd like to remember.

"You like her, don't you?"

"Am I not supposed to like her? Is there some rule that I don't know about? Some unspoken tribal rule against liking Bella that I'm just supposed to automatically know?"

"Stop being a jerk," Leah answered sharply. "You know what I mean. Do you like her?"

I thought back to when I first saw Bella after she'd moved to Forks. She and her friends had come to La Push and they were hanging out at First Beach. I remember thinking that she had gotten quite cute in the years that she'd been away. We had a good time that night. And the few times we hung out before she met her boyfriend. I guess I had liked her a little. I kind of wished that we could hang out more, get to know each other again. But _like_...that was a strong word.

"I mean, I might have had a tiny crush on her awhile ago," I admitted. "But not now."

Leah scowled. "Why not now?"

"I don't know Leah. She didn't show that kind of interest in me once she hooked up with Edward Cullen."

"Yet, you took her to prom..." Leah's voice trailed off.

"I...did...not...take...Bella...to...prom," I clarified. "Like I told Quil, Embry, and everyone else on this damn reservation, I went to Forks to give Bella a message from Billy and the rest of the Elders. Her father told me she was at the prom. So I went there. Hell, if I hadn't done that, I wouldn't have got my master cylinder."

"That's all," Leah sounded skeptical.

"That's all," I said, exasperated with the whole conversation. "What is with this line of questioning?"

"Jacob Black, are you really that dense?" Leah questioned me, a fiery look in her eyes. Shoot, I'd awakened the dragon.

"What are you talking about?"

"You invited another girl on a trip that we're going on," Leah uttered. "How do you think that makes me feel?"

"Why should me inviting Bella make you feel any type of way?" I asked her. "It's not like I invited Bella to sleep in the same room with me. Besides, you act like it's just me and you going and Bella going to be like...a third wheel or something. Newsflash, Leah Clearwater, there's like ten of us going. That's a whole lot of third wheels."

"Oh God," Leah scoffed. "You are oblivious to everything!" She stood up. "Get a clue, Jacob. I'm outta here."

"Leah," I called after her. "Come here."

She turned around slowly, glaring at me with her hard black eyes. It probably wasn't an appropriate thought but I couldn't help but to think that Leah was sexy when she was mad.

"What?"

"Come here," I repeated, turning on the good ol' Black family charm.

It didn't work.

"Why?"

I stood up and walked over to where Leah was standing by the door.

"You're mad at me because you think I want to be with Bella and not you, huh?"

"Of course. Don't you?"

"No."

"No?" Leah repeated, surprised at my answer.

"No. I didn't invite Bella for the reason that you think. I invited her because that's my friend and I feel bad that she's going through what she's going through alone. I was hoping that she'd meet some new people and have a good time. My reason for inviting her has nothing to do with us."

"Us?" Leah echoed.

I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close to me.

"Yes. Us. I mean, I realize that officially there's really no 'us', but we're getting there."

A small smile broke out on Leah's face. "We're getting there?"

"Why do you keep repeating everything I say?"

"What do you mean by 'we're getting there'?" she asked.

I took a deep breath and brushed a strand of hair from her face. I dropped my arms from her waist and took a step back. I scanned the garage quickly to make sure that there weren't any tools within throwing range. Leah wasn't going to like what I was about to say.

"Leah, I like you, I really do. But we both know that you're not completely over Sam yet. And I'm not going to be your boyfriend while you still have feelings for him."

A sad look washed over Leah's face. She knew I was right.

"I don't know what's wrong with me, Jacob," she said sadly, tugging at the hem of her sweatshirt and avoiding my eyes.

"You're a great guy and I have such a good time with you..."

"And I'm a great kisser..." I teased to lighten the mood.

"Besides that," she acknowledged. "But I can't get him out of my head. And he doesn't even want to be with me."

Leah looked so distraught that I couldn't help but pull her back into my arms. I kissed the top of her head.

"Lee-Lee, all you have to realize is that you're a great girl and what Sam did to you was wrong in so many different ways, but it wasn't your fault. You didn't do anything wrong," I soothed, gently playing with her long ponytail.

"But..."

"No buts. You'll get over him," I assured her. "Breakups take time to heal from. You're no different from any other girl who got dumped."

She burst out laughing. "Thanks Jacob. That's a hell of a way to put it."

"Anytime. But seriously. It's all going to work out. You're sixteen, I'm sixteen. We have a lot of time on our hands. Things will come together just the way they're supposed to."

Leah looked up at me. This time the sadness was gone from her eyes. She punched me playfully on the chest.

"You've been watching too much Dr. Phil," she joked. "Maybe if you spent more time out here than in front of the TV, this car would be done."

"Whatever. What would you do if we didn't have the Rabbit to work on?"

Leah grinned deviously and stood on her tiptoes. "This."

She put her hands on the back of my head and pulled my head down until my lips reached hers. She kissed me aggressively, her lips crushing against mine. I felt her leg rubbing against mine as her hands got tangled in my hair and mine in hers.

I stepped forward until Leah was up against the trunk of my car. My tongue made its way into her mouth as her warm lips continued to move against mine. I leaned forward and lifted Leah up on the trunk. Instantly, she wrapped her legs around my waist and her cold hands slipped under my sweatshirt.

In the cold garage, the heat radiated from Leah like a space heater. I kissed her harder, loving the way she moaned in pleasure when my kiss became more passionate.

I slipped my hand underneath her sweatshirt, feeling the softness of her skin underneath my rough hands. She moaned louder when I traced the outline of her satin bra with my fingers. I could feel her nipples through the thin material, hard like little pebbles.

This certainly wasn't the first time since Christmas Eve that we had made out and like the times before I could feel my _self_ getting more aroused with each passing second. Pretty soon I wouldn't be able to handle just making out.

Leah felt my excitement and like last time, pulled away before things could go any further.

"What?" I said, frustration creeping into my voice. She had started this. Why wouldn't she ever finish what she started?

"Jake, do you really think that our first time is going to be on the trunk of your car?"

"Leah, do you really think I care where my first time takes place?"

She scooted from underneath me and slid off the trunk.

"You probably don't, but I do," she straightened her shirt. "And it won't be in this dirty garage. The third or fourth time, maybe," she said slyly. "But definitely not the first time."

"Fine," I grumbled and straightened out my own clothes. "You're not ready anyway."

"I know that," she said. "I wasn't ready with Sam and you're not even my boyfriend."

"That's okay," I smirked. "You want me to be. I could tell by the way you whisper my name when I'm kissing you. You want it."

"Where is all this confidence coming from?" she mused. "You act like you're certain I'm going to give it up to you."

"I am certain. You will because you want to. I know that you're not ready but you will be...soon. Watch and see."

Leah shook her head and went back to the pile of gauges on the floor.

"You have an optimistic faith and confidence in yourself, Jacob Black. It's totally unwarranted."

"Whatever. Hopefully some of it will rub off on you." I went back to the front of the car and started to tinker with the transmission again. This is what I liked about being around Leah. Things were always casual with us, never too awkward.

"And Jake," Leah interrupted my thought, "it's fifth wheel, not third."

"Sure, sure...get back to work."


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Saturday morning was the first official day of our trip. We had planned to start our trip on Friday right after school but Quil delayed our plans. His dad wouldn't give him the keys to the car until he cleaned up his room. Then I found out that my sister Rachel was visiting for the weekend and she wanted to come with us.

Even with the unexpected delays, we made it to Port Angeles before dinnertime. After checking into our rooms at the Port Angeles Inn – thankfully Rachel was there because the manager wouldn't let us check in without an adult – we all went to Gordy's Pizza for dinner.

Gordy's is our favorite pizza place. They never bother us about our sometimes rowdy behavior. I guess the ten large pizzas we ordered were enough to give us a little privacy.

There were eleven of us on the trip; myself, Quil, Embry, Jordan, Chris, Rachel, Leah, Kim, Rosa, Kim's cousin Monica, and a girl named Tammy from the neighboring Makah reservation that Chris had a thing for. Our parents had insisted that boys were not to room with girls. I had a hunch that was the reason my dad actually allowed Rachel to come. Normally he would have been very irritated that she didn't want to spend the weekend with him since she rarely comes home in the first place. He probably knew that I'd give my right arm for a chance to spend the night with Leah and finish what we'd started in the garage. Not that he knew about _that_. The parental units were just being rightfully cautious.

We all agreed that we wanted to get an early start on the slopes so we ended the night early. Since there was an uneven number of people, Quil, Embry, and I ended up sharing a room. Leah, Rachel, and Tammy were sharing a room too.

When I woke up on Saturday morning I felt energized and ready to snowboard. Quil and Embry were already up. Embry was dressed and Quil was in the shower. There was a knock on the door and I looked at Embry since he was already dressed. He looked at me.

"You're closer," he said.

"Come on, you're already dressed," I complained.

"It's probably Leah or your sister," he replied after the second impatient knock.

"Get the door!" Quil yelled from the bathroom.

I guess Embry did have a point. Rachel and Leah were the only ones who really had a reason to knock on our door and Rachel has seen me in my boxers before. And if it was Leah...well, I didn't exactly mind if _she_ saw me in my underwear.

I opened the door and was surprised to see Kim on the other side. Her eyes widened when she saw me, bare-chested in my boxer shorts.

"Umm..." she stammered. "Hi Jacob."

"What's up Kim?" I said, trying to use the door as a shield. Kim's lustful look in her eyes was making me uncomfortable. I wondered if she was one of the girls that Leah was talking about who came to school every day just to see me.

"Leah sent me up here to see if you guys were ready. All the girls are getting ready to go downstairs for breakfast."

"Give us ten minutes," I told her.

"Okay," she dragged the word out as her eyes hungrily made their way up and down my body.

What had I missed? When had girls become so forward?

"I'll see you downstairs," she finished.

I closed the door and grabbed my bag out of the closet.

"Looks like you scored another one," Embry laughed.

I rummaged through my bag, pulling out my clothes for the day, a t-shirt, sweatshirt, a pair of thermals, and some jeans.

"What are you talking about?"

"First Leah, now Kim. Not to mention all the other girls at school who stop talking when you walk into the room. You're the man!"

"No, I'm not," I shook my head. "You get more girls than me."

Embry grinned and nodded. "You're right. I am the ladies man in this bunch. You and Quil are lame."

"Hey, Quil's the lame one. I got Leah and Kim, remember?"

"Until you go the distance with either of them, it doesn't count."

I laughed and grabbed my clothes. Quil was coming out of the bathroom.

"Hey, you never know what might happen," I said and shut the bathroom door.

An hour later we were unloading our cars in the Hurricane Ridge Visitors' Center parking lot. The game plan had been decided at breakfast. The girls were hitting the ski trails and the guys were going snowboarding. We'd meet up at noon to go back to Port Angeles for lunch since there weren't any restaurants at Hurricane Ridge. Then we'd ski the harder trails together.

It had been awhile since I snowboarded and I was a bit rusty at first...and still a bit awkward. Since snowboarding requires tremendous balancing skills, I fell a few times before I got used to it again. I wasn't the only one. We all took a few good spills going down the mountain.

But the funniest spill of the morning easily went to Jordan and Quil. Quil has never been able to do anything in a straight line – walk, draw, or snowboard as we quickly learned. We were all well aware of this birth defect and had managed to stay clear of him on the slope...until Jordan spotted a cute redhead in a pink ski outfit barreling down the hill like a professional. She caught his eye as she whizzed past him and no longer paying attention, he started to angle towards Quil, who was already blazing a path down the slope at a graceless angle. When they collided and fell into the snow, we thought that was the funniest fall of the day. Then as they were trying to get up – while we all laughed – they got tangled up and went tumbling down the hill, a tangled ball of ski parkas, gloves, goggles, and snowboards. Me, Chris, and Embry weren't the only ones who had to stop and laugh. Even the redhead had to get out of their way! She was laughing hysterically as the ball of boys rolled past her.

By the time Embry and Chris had reenacted the tumble for the girls at lunch, Jordan and Quil were able to laugh with us but it had been a tense ride back to Port Angeles.

Now we were back at Hurricane Ridge after a short lunch at McDonalds. Mostly everyone had paired off once we got back, totally forgetting about our breakfast plan. Quil, Kim, Embry, Rachel, and Monica had decided to go on a ninety minute snowshoeing tour of the mountain. I was surprised that Rachel had wanted to go. My lazy sister hiking through the snow? I almost wished I was there to witness such an event.

Jordan was teaching Rosa how to snowboard. Chris and Tammy stayed on the bunny trails. Leah and I were the only ones who had the guts to venture off the bunny trails onto the harder intermediate trails. But after a rather chilling close call between herself and a fir tree, Leah decided it was time for a break.

We walked back to the Visitors' Center to warm up and get some hot chocolate. We were both freezing!

"Those guys look familiar," Leah pointed to a group of teenagers standing around sipping their own cups of hot chocolate.

They were bundled up in ski jackets and suits like us. I recognized them from Forks. They were the same group of kids who frequented our beach.

"I know them," I said to Leah. "They're from Forks."

"Yeah, I remember seeing them on the beach. The blonde with the short hair is checking you out." For a second Leah sounded jealous.

"And here she comes," she added and I knew for sure that Leah was jealous as the blonde girl bounded over to us.

"Hey, you're Jacob, right?" she spoke to me.

"The one and only," I answered. "And you are?"

"I'm Lauren," she replied. "And those are my friends...Tyler, Mike, Jessica, Angela, and Ben," she pointed to the others who hadn't left their spot.

"Are you coming or going?" Leah asked.

"We just got here," Lauren said, still looking at me. "I recognized you from the beach. Boy, you've gotten tall!"

"Yeah," I said. I felt Leah's arm wrap around my waist possessively and grinned.

"Is it just you two?" Lauren asked, the jealous look in her eye was unmistakable as she took in Leah's disposition. The blonde girl had every reason to be jealous of Leah, at least I thought so. Lauren was cute, in a wholesome, girl next door kind of way. Leah was gorgeous, plain and simple.

"No," I answered. "There's a bunch of us here. We're spending the weekend...staying at the Inn," I added for Leah's benefit.

"Oh. Well, if you're finished here, you guys can join us on the intermediate trail. The more the merrier." Lauren laughed but it was forced.

"Are you ready to go back out?" I looked at Leah.

She nodded. "Of course. I've forgotten all about that stupid tree. Let's go."

After Lauren introduced us to her friends, we all went back up the lift to the intermediate trail. Lauren and Jessica were the most experienced out of their group but again, they had nothing on Leah, who was the most competitive and tried to outdo them every time.

I took my time going down the slope, not wanting to fall and embarrass myself in front of these strangers. Angela and Ben were right with me. They were skiing slowly and holding hands. Every once in awhile they'd steal a quick glance at each other and giggle. I wondered how long they'd been dating. They seemed like an awfully odd couple, with Angela being so much taller than her little boyfriend.

I remembered Bella telling me that Angela was a really good friend of hers so I wondered why Bella wasn't here. I know she turned down my invitation but I'm sure she wouldn't have turned down an invitation from her best friend. I decided to ask her.

I skied up next to Angela and Ben. "Hey, Angela," I said. "Have you talked to Bella?"

A forlorn expression crossed both Angela and Ben's faces.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, I don't know," Angela started.

"You can tell him, Ang," Ben encouraged. "He's a good friend of Bella's, remember? She used to talk about Jacob all the time...when she used to talk, that is."

Angela flashed an angry look at her boyfriend then looked at me.

"Can we sit down and talk about this?" she said.

"Sure, sure."

We slid over to some benches and sat down.

"What is it?" I asked, concerned by the look on Angela's face.

"Jacob, when was the last time you saw Bella?" Angela asked.

"Thanksgiving day," I answered. I wouldn't forget that day, the day she told me she didn't want to see me again.

"Wow, that's a long time," Ben said.

"Well, I see her every day," Angela spoke up. "But I don't think she sees me."

"What do you mean?" although I think I already knew.

"It's like she doesn't see anything. When I talk to her, she barely responds. It's like she's looking right through me. I'm worried about her," Angela sighed.

"She's been like this since the Cullens left town," Ben commented.

"I know. I used to go over there every day after school, but she told me she didn't need me to," I said. "She's really not getting any better?"

Angela shook her head. "You would think she would be, after four months, but she's not. I try to get her to do things with me or with us," she pointed between herself and Ben, "but she won't. We even invited her up here but of course she said no to that too."

"I invited her too," I replied. I shook my head dejectedly. It hurt to hear that Bella wasn't getting any better, even though I could hear it in her voice when I spoke to her. It was worse hearing it from her friends, though.

"Jacob, do you think there's anything that we can do?" Ben asked.

"I can't think of anything. She wants to get through this on her own. You guys know how Bella is. I just wish he would call or something, maybe that would help."

"Maybe," Angela agreed softly.

"Um...I hate to break up this conversation," I looked up at the sound of Leah's voice. When had she come over? How much of our conversation had she heard?

"What's up?"

"Jake, will you come with me to the Visitors' Center? I really have to go to the bathroom."

I stood up. "We'll be back," I said to Angela and Ben and started walking with Leah to the ski lifts to take us down the mountain.

"Your nose is so red," I teased as we sat on the lift. Leah smiled.

"Well, it's freezing out here."

I took off my scarf and wrapped it around her.

"Here you go. You look like you're about to rob the place but at least your face will be warm."

"Thank you," her voice was muffled and we both burst out laughing.

We hopped off the lift and headed to the bench to take off our skis. I carried both pairs as we walked towards the restrooms. Leah stopped walking and I walked right into her. The skis fell out of my hands as I tried to keep them from falling.

"Leah!"

"I can't effing believe this!" she snarled. "What the hell is he trying to do to me?"

I had no idea what she was talking about as I picked up the skis, but then my eyes followed hers and I saw what had stopped her in her path...Sam and Emily, smiling happily at the hot chocolate stand.

"Don't worry about them," I advised. "Just go to the bathroom and we'll go back up. There's enough people here for them not to see you if you don't make a scene."

"Isn't it enough that I agreed to be in their damn wedding? Isn't it enough that I don't slap my cousin every single time I see her? Why do they have to continue to torment me?" Her voice was low with anger and hurt.

I laid the skis on the ground and wrapped her in my arms.

"Come on, Lee-Lee," I said softly. "Don't think about Sam today. You got me here with you. Who do you think is luckier...you or Emily? Wait, don't answer that," I joked. "My ego can't take it."

That brought a slight smile to her face and she began to wiggle in my arms.

"Still gotta pee?" I asked, holding her tighter.

"Come on, Jake," she giggled. "Let me go."

Sam was looking at us, I noticed. Leah was still giggling in my arms, squirming to get away. She didn't notice the hard stare that Sam was giving me.

I loosened my arms around Leah's waist and lowered the scarf around her face. I leaned down and kissed her, softly at first until she pressed her body against mine, kissing me harder...deeper. I pulled away before we reached the point of no return. It was already cold outside. I didn't need my balls to be blue too.

"That'll show him," Leah whispered. So she _had _seen Sam staring at us. But for a minute, I felt dirty, like she was just kissing me to get back at Sam.

"Hey," Leah noticed the look on my face. "I didn't mean it like that, Jake."

"Sure, sure."

"Really, I didn't, Jacob."

"Okay. Go pee," I ordered.

She started to walk towards the restrooms. She stopped and turned to me.

"Jake," she said.

"What?"

"I am the luckier one," she said and walked off.

I smiled, my confidence returning. I was much better than Sam on any day.

****

Sam and Emily didn't come up again for the rest of the day. We didn't even see them on the slopes. However, I did inform the guys that Sam was at Hurricane Ridge, and like me, they weren't happy. The only good thing about his sudden appearance was that Jared and Paul weren't with him. A rare occurrence, indeed.

Sunday, the group decided to split up again and everybody wanted to do something different. Most of the girls wanted to shop, but Leah said she wasn't feeling well so she stayed behind while Rachel, Kim, Monica, and Rosa made a Girls Day of shopping and getting their nails done.

I was alone in my room. The guys had decided to take a ferry to Victoria. Their plan was to see if they could sneak into Canada and buy some beer. It was a stupid plan. Even though Jordan had a fake ID, they all had to show their real passports to cross the Canadian border and again to get back in the U.S. I told them that even if they were able to buy it in Canada; they wouldn't be able to bring it back into Washington. Embry called me a punk and they refused to listen. I wasn't wasting my money or time on that brainless plan. If they ended up in jail, I would be the only survivor. My plan was to get some well needed sleep and order a pizza. We had all day Monday to get into trouble...in Port Angeles or drive up to Hoquiam and find something to do there.

I heard a soft knock on the door and I shuffled lazily to open it. I knew it was Leah.

"Hey, you wanna go downstairs and see if we can scrounge up some free breakfast?" she asked.

"Sure." I grabbed my room key and we walked downstairs to see what we could find.

The Inn had a great continental breakfast. I grabbed some bacon, a few boxes of cereal, a couple of muffins, some milk, and a large glass of orange juice.

"Jake," Leah looked at me and my tray full of food. "I thought you were trying to eat healthier.

I grabbed an orange and a banana and added it to my tray. "This better?"

She laughed. "For you...yes, it's much better."

They had a fire going in the sitting area so we sat in front of it as we ate.

"I'm having a really good time," Leah commented. "We should make this an annual trip."

"Why didn't you go with the other girls?" I asked.

She stared at the fire. I wondered if it had anything to do with Sam because she didn't answer.

"Leah?" I prompted. "Why didn't you go?"

"I didn't feel like it," but I knew she wasn't telling me the whole truth. It had to be Sam. There wasn't any other logical reason. And it made me mad. Here I was trying to build something with Leah and Sam was ruining it. His presence on the reservation irritated the hell out of me, but he had to bring that crap here. I was livid!

So when I noticed him and Emily walking through the lobby, I got even more upset. I rose from the couch and started to walk towards Sam.

"Jacob, where are you going?" Leah called after me but I didn't answer. I kept walking over to Sam at the Front Desk. I grabbed his arm and he spun around, surprised.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" I growled.

Emily looked surprised to see me.

"And maybe you should go over there and apologize to your _cousin_" – I emphasized the word – "for ruining her weekend."

"What?" Emily frowned at me then glanced at the couch where Leah was looking like she wanted to disappear or at least take off running.

"Oh," Emily said when she saw Leah. She touched Sam on his other arm. "I'll be right back."

"What do you want, Jacob?" Sam's look was menacing. But I wasn't scared. I was pissed.

"What are you doing here?" I hissed. "You knew we were coming here. Are you trying to kill Leah?"

"How was I supposed to know that you were here?"

"Cut the crap, Sam! Everyone on that damn reservation knew we were coming up here and where we were staying! So, are you trying to kill her? Because that's what happens every time she sees you with her _cousin_!" I was trying to keep my voice from rising but I couldn't help it. I was that angry.

"She's here with you, isn't she?" Sam shrugged his shoulders. "Why would my being here bother her?"

On their own, my hands balled into fists. The steroids were actually making him stupid...and infuriating.

"Why do you think? Are you that big of an asshole, you can't see that she still cares about you?" I said angrily. "You didn't even properly break up with her. You hurt her bad and just when she's finally starting to get over you, you start popping up wherever she is."

"Look, Jacob," Sam said calmly. "I'm sorry that I hurt Leah. I sure as hell didn't mean to. But she's just going to have to accept that I'm with Emily now. And I'm not trying to pop up wherever she is but she's with you an awful lot..." his voice broke off like he was trying to say something else and physically couldn't.

"You're a coward," I replied. "Stay the hell away from her!"

"It's not her..." his voice broke off again. "Jake..."

"Jacob," I corrected angrily.

"Look, I can't say what I really need to..."

"That's 'cause you're a punk," I interrupted. "You run around with your chest all puffed out like you're the man, and you can't even apologize for breaking her heart!" I reached out and pushed him. He stumbled backwards and glared at me, rage burning in his eyes.

"Jacob, don't ever do that again," he growled, his hand...his entire body was shaking.

"I'm not scared of you!" I fired back and stepped towards him again. All the anger and frustration I felt towards Sam was filling me up, threatening to erupt. I was ready for this fight. At least I thought I was until I saw his eyes.

Sam's eyes had gone wild with anger. And his body was literally vibrating with anger. Emily ran up to us and literally pushed me out of the way.

"Get away from him, Jacob," she said as she stepped in between us.

"Sam," she spoke calmly but forcefully. "Look at me. Look at me, Sam." She put her hand on his shoulder. It shook along with the rest of his body.

"Breathe Sam," she urged. "Not here, honey. You have to calm down."

Sam stared at her blankly, taking deep breaths. Soon the vibrating slowed to a quiver.

"Jacob," he said slowly. "One day, you'll understand that what you just did was a very dangerous thing and you'll see how extremely lucky you were to have her here."

He grabbed Emily's hand and they practically ran out of the Inn. I stood staring at their exit, flabbergasted at what just happened. I took a few deep breaths of my own, trying to calm myself down. My heart was pounding in my chest and I didn't know if it was fear or adrenaline.

"Jake!" Leah came running over to me. "Are you okay?"

I nodded.

"What the hell was that all about?"

I hesitated, trying to find my voice. "I'm going to my room." I walked away but I heard Leah following behind me, trying to keep up with my long strides.

When I got to my room, I fumbled with the magnetic door key and threw open the door.

"Jacob!" Leah yelled as she burst into the room before the door closed. "Talk to me!"

"What do you want me to say?" I yelled. "That I'm sick of him? That I can't stand the sight of that asshole or what he's doing to you?"

"Please, Jacob," Leah pleaded. "Calm down."

"I don't want to calm down! I want to punch him!"

Leah laughed. "You almost did."

"Leah, this is not funny."

"Yes it is," she argued, still laughing. "Sam was actually a little scared of you when you pushed him. I bet he wasn't expecting that."

"Shut up," I mumbled and sat on the edge of the bed. Leah climbed on the bed behind me and started to rub my shoulders. Her hands were comforting and I started to breathe more evenly and my heart rate slowed to normal.

"I have to say it, Jacob Black, but I never thought I'd see the day when you'd be the one standing up for me."

"Well, be happy that I did," I replied. "I'm sure he won't be popping up wherever you are now that he knows that I'm not afraid of him. I will kick his ass the next time he chooses to ruin something for you."

Leah leaned over and kissed my neck. Her lips were soft and warm.

"My hero," she whispered in my ear. "And Jake, the reason I didn't go with the girls is because..." she paused until I turned around. Then she laid back on the bed, one hand behind her head while the other played with the string on her sweatpants.

"Because..." I prompted.

"Because I knew you weren't going with the guys."

"You wanted to be alone with me?" I guessed.

"And I can't stop thinking about the other day in the garage," she finished.

She smiled, a flirtatious little grin, and I just about lost all composure but I wasn't falling for it this time. I laid down next to her, pulling her close to me.

"You are such a tease," I informed her.

"Why do you say that?" She placed her head on my chest and began to play with the string on the waistband of _my_ sweatpants.

"Because...you do this to me all the time. You already told me that you're not ready."

Leah's hands slid under my t-shirt and her fingernails trailed up and down my chest.

"Just because I'm not ready to go..._there_...doesn't mean that I don't want to be alone with you. It doesn't mean that I don't think about it, Jake."

I closed my eyes as she lifted my shirt a little, revealing a small area of my navel. I tried to imagine what Leah did while she was _thinking_ about that day in the garage. Immediately I felt that familiar stirring and my blood rushing to my nether region. I groaned.

"Leah, you are killing me."

"Jacob, shut up," she whispered. "You're ruining this for me."

Gently I eased her off of me and looked her in the eyes. But not for long as her eyes migrated to the bulge in my sweats.

"Do you see?" I said, my voice a lot huskier than a few minutes ago. "You're going to make me have to take a cold shower. And it's too damn cold outside for that."

"You are incredibly dumb, Jacob," Leah replied. "Most guys would kill for a hand job. You, on the other hand, want it all or nothing, huh?"

"Since when have I been like most guys?" I said and kissed her. Her body practically melted into mine, eager for my touch. I placed my hands on her backside and squeezed. Leah let out a soft purr against my lips.

"Most guys," I said between planting kisses on her lips, cheeks, forehead, and neck, "don't give a damn about what the girl wants or when she's ready. I do. Don't compare me to most guys, Leah."

"I won't," she whispered as I let my tongue make a trail from her lips to her neck. "You're not most guys. You're my Jacob."

"Sure, sure," I whispered in her ear and continued to kiss her. "This will do for now."

_Until she's ready,_ I thought. And when that time came...well, I couldn't think of any words to describe what it would be like.


	11. Chapter 11

**_This chapter was interesting for me to write because I wanted to expand on how Charlie came to his decision to send Bella Jacksonville with her mother. It seemed so spur of the moment in New Moon but I don't think that Charlie is a spur of the moment kind of guy. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Next up...more Leah and Jacob to answer all of your questions. Thanks for reading...JC_**

* * *

**Chapter 11 **

After our ski trip, which ended up better than any of us had imagined, we fell back into our regular routine. Quil, Embry, and I, stayed as far away from Sam and his crew as we could, choosing to spend most of our free time in the garage. I was in a real hurry to get my car finished. We needed transportation badly, we being me and my friends. La Push, especially the rez, was quickly becoming the most boring place on Earth.

After we'd gotten back from Hurricane Ridge, I made numerous attempts to get in touch with Bella but she still wasn't returning any of my calls. Both Angela's and Ben's words haunted me nightly. Bella was doing bad and whether she knew it or not, she needed her friends. She needed me. Her plan wasn't working. She couldn't do this alone. It was time to give my plan another try.

Even Leah – much to my surprise – supported my efforts in helping Bella. In fact, she was rather understanding.

"Jake," she had said to me. "I, of all people, know exactly what she's going through. You should know that by now. Bella doesn't think she needs anyone besides that Cullen boy. She let him be the center of her life and now that he's gone...well, she thinks she has nothing left, at least that's how she feels. You have to make her see that she does have something left. That she has other people who care about her. Life doesn't stop because of one guy. I'm learning that too."

Having Leah's support in my effort meant the world to me. While I valued her honest opinion – and she _always _gives me her honest opinion – it was refreshing that she was taking some of her own advice. The more time we spent together, studying, working on my car, or watching movies, the more I found myself falling for Leah. She's an amazing girl. Every day she shows me more of herself; more aspects of her personality that I didn't know were there. There are things about her that drives me nuts – her temper and stubbornness, mostly – but I am learning how to deal with it. I was totally falling for Leah and everyone could see it.

We still haven't made things official but it's only a matter of time if you ask me. She calls me the "eternal optimist". Sometimes the way she says it, it sounds like a bad thing. I don't care. I have hope for me and Leah. I have hope for Bella. I even have hope that the Elders will disband the "Protectors" – Sam's name for his gang. My motto is "things have to work out simply because life would be too unbearable if they didn't". And so far, my optimism was beating Leah's pessimism to a pulp.

So when I decided to pass on the movies with Leah and Seth to go down to Forks and check on Bella, no one was really surprised. Harry even let me borrow his truck. It was raining again, leftovers from the thunderstorm the night before, as I drove straight to Bella's house.

I didn't see her truck but she had to be home. Her bedroom window was open, despite the rain. I pulled the truck into the driveway, grabbed an umbrella and stood underneath the tree in her front yard.

"Bella!" I called. No answer, not even a ruffle of her thin purple curtains.

She had to be home. Maybe she was trying to air out her room since her window was open. But why would she have her window open in the rain? Plus it was cold out.

Maybe she was smoking pot. Once, Rachel and Rebecca had tried marijuana and they opened every window in our house during a rainstorm, hoping that the rain and wind would air out the house. It hadn't worked. Billy grounded them for a month.

But Bella wasn't as dumb as my sisters, was she? She was the daughter of a police chief. Surely, she would know that Charlie would be able to identify the smell of weed as soon as he walked into the house. But people did a lot of dumb things when they were depressed and Bella definitely fit that bill.

"Bella!" I called again.

"She's not home," a female voice said from behind me and I spun around. I didn't recognize the cute redheaded girl standing on the sidewalk under an umbrella big enough to fit me and all of my friends. My first thought was that she looked like the girl who had made Jordan and Quil fall on the ski slope. I grinned, remembering the look on their faces as they went tumbling down the hill.

"She's not home," the girl repeated. "Her truck's not here."

I had already noticed that the battered red Chevy wasn't parked in the driveway but it didn't matter. It could have broken down. Since Bella was barely speaking to me – or anyone else – she probably would have taken the truck to Dowling's to be fixed.

"Do you know where she is?" I asked the stranger.

"She's probably at work," she paused. "Umm, who are you?" she asked suspiciously. "Maybe I shouldn't be telling you this."

"Well, it's not like I'm a stranger. I'm Jacob...Jacob Black," I told her. Surely, if she knew Bella, then she must know about me.

But the troubled look on her face didn't go away.

"I live on the Quileute rez," I continued. "Bella and Charlie are friends of my family."

Something I said triggered some recognition.

"Jacob," she drawled. "You're the guy that Lauren's been talking about. She's right. You _are_ good looking!"

I flashed a smile at the girl. She was much cuter than Lauren.

"Do you have a name or do people just call you Gorgeous?" I asked, trying my hand at flirting. Leah and Embry both agreed that I was a horrible flirt and I hadn't wanted to believe them but..._my God, that sounded cheesy._

"My name is Katie," the girl blushed fiercely. _Had that cheesy line really worked?_ If so, the girls from Forks were way different than the girls in La Push.

"Do you know where Bella works?" I asked, giving up on the flirting. It wasn't worth it. Besides, Leah and Embry were right. It wasn't me and it felt unnatural.

"Yes," Katie answered. "She works at Newton's Sporting Goods store downtown. You can't miss it."

"Thanks." I hurried to Harry's black truck.

"Hey Jacob," Katie called. "Do you wanna hang out some time?"

I stopped walking. "Um, I – I -," I stuttered. "I'm kind of already seeing someone."

"Oh." She was disappointed.

I would have liked to hang out with Katie but I didn't think Leah would approve of me hanging out with another girl. I was toeing the line when it came to Bella, as it was.

I got in the truck and drove away quickly before the situation became any more awkward. I wasn't comfortable hurting the girl's feelings. I didn't like doing that to anyone.

I drove slowly into downtown Forks. Katie was right. The Newton's store was in the middle of the small commercial area downtown. You really couldn't miss it. I immediately noticed Bella's truck parked on the street and I pulled up behind it.

I walked into the store and felt like I was in my second home. Well, make that my third home. The auto parts store was my second home. But this place had EVERYTHING! I'd forgotten about it, as it's been a while since me and the guys went camping. Our grades completely destroyed any chance of our parents letting us off the rez to camp. Fun was out of the question until we brought our grades up.

I looked up and down the rows of camping gear and outdoor supplies and laughed. How in the world did Bella get a job here? More importantly, why would she want to? Bella was no girly girl, but she wasn't outdoorsy either. Could she even hike without breaking her leg?

I finally spotted her by a rack of hunting clothes. She was hanging up coats with a distracted look on her face. Angela and Ben were right. She didn't look good.

And that was saying something because even at her worst, Bella was by far, one of the prettiest girls I knew. But she looked...depressed. Her jeans were wrinkled. Her brown long sleeve shirt hung loosely on her. _Was she losing weight?_ Her normally thick brown hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail. I know that looking like a supermodel wasn't a requirement to work in a sporting goods store, but I've never seen Bella look so dull and lifeless. It worried me.

I moved closer to her, trying to stay out of her eyesight until the last minute. She hung a few more jackets, nearly poking herself in the eye with a hanger. I laughed to myself. Typical Bella.

"Bell...la..."I whispered when I was within hearing distance. She didn't look up. I moved closer.

"Bell...la," I said again, raising my voice a little louder. She still didn't look around.

I was right in her line of sight when I spoke her name again. She took a deep breath, fingered her messy ponytail, but still didn't answer.

I stepped in front of her and reached for the coat she was hanging up. She jerked away, startled.

"Can I help you sir?" she asked, looking down at the floor.

"Bella? It's me," I said.

This time she glanced directly at me and then back down at the floor.

"Oh. Hi, Jacob," she said. "What are you doing here?"

"Umm..." I stalled. I hadn't thought of a reason. Bella surely wouldn't appreciate the truth though since the truth was I was there to check up on her.

"Are you checking up on me?" her eyes flashed with annoyance.

"Not really. I need a new heater for the garage and decided to come see if you wanted to have lunch with me."

She shook her head. It was a believable alibi, and almost true. Embry thought he had fixed the old heater in my garage. Turns out, he didn't. So I still needed one, I just hadn't planned on buying it today.

"You're always eating something, Jacob," was Bella's agitated reply.

"Hey, I'm a growing boy. So, can you take a break?" I asked eagerly.

She looked at her watch, then around the store.

"I guess so," she reluctantly answered. "I have to find Mrs. Newton and tell her I'm taking a break. Where do you want to eat?"

"Umm, the diner down the street is good."

"Okay, I'll meet you there in ten minutes."

"Sure, sure," I said cheerfully. This was a good start. "Don't stand me up, Bells."

"I'll meet you there in ten minutes," she repeated, but she didn't share my obvious excitement.

****

"So, what have you been up to?" Bella asked me, watching me devour a plate of French fries. Her garden salad remained untouched. We'd been in the diner for about fifteen minutes and this was the first time she'd spoken since ordering her salad.

"Nothing much," I told her. "Working on my car a lot. School...the usual stuff."

"How was your ski trip?" she asked. I was surprised that she remembered.

"It was great! My sister, Rachel, came down from Vancouver and went with us. We stayed in Port Angeles. I hadn't been snowboarding in a while so I fell a few times but hey, no broken bones," I laughed and flexed my arms. Bella didn't even smile. Matter of fact she had a far off, disinterested expression on her face.

"Bella?" I said wearily. "Are you listening?"

"Um yeah, Jake," she shook her head, as if she was trying to clear out a bad thought. "Good job on not breaking anything."

"Yeah," I said, unsure if I should continue.

"What else did you guys do?"

"We went skiing again on Sunday afternoon but the girls didn't want to go again on Monday. So we went up to Port Townsend," I paused. "Have you ever been there?"

Bella shook her head.

"Well, it's close to Sequim. You've heard of that place right?" I asked her. She nodded so I continued.

"The girls had spent most of Sunday shopping and getting their nails done so they didn't want to do anything we wanted to do because they didn't want to break a nail. So we ended up in Port Townsend, whale watching. Which, I must say, is not as interesting as the brochure says it is."

"Girls?" Bella smirked...a little, a half smirk, if you will. "This trip was co-ed?"

I laughed at the bewildered expression on her face. "Yeah, some girls from the rez, and my sister."

"Was this a couples' trip?" she asked.

"No, not at all. Although, towards the end it started to feel like it. Jordan and Chris hooked up with Rosa and Monica. Embry was pissed because he sorta had a thing for Monica too."

Bella stared at me, her deep brown eyes amazingly intense.

"What about you? Did you hook up with anyone?"

I grinned, thinking about the hours me and Leah spent together before the others came back. We didn't hook up like Chris and Monica but there was some serious making out going on in that hotel room. I touched the back of my neck where my hair covered the hickey Leah had put there.

"No. Me and Leah...well, it's not that serious," I admitted.

Bella's eyes widened. "Leah? As in your next door neighbor, Leah? Harry's daughter?"

"She lives across the street," I corrected.

"Is she your girlfriend?"

I shook my head. "No, not yet. We're just really good friends."

I wasn't ready to declare my feelings for Leah just yet, especially not to Bella. Not that I thought she would be upset about it. I just didn't know if I could accurately describe the way I felt about her.

"You're lying," Bella accused. "Why are you lying?"

"I'm not lying," I said, taken back by the accusation.

"Yes, you are," she said slowly. "You like her more than that. I can tell by the way you said her name."

This was news to me. I didn't hear any change in my voice when I mentioned Leah.

"What do you mean?"

"You said 'Leah' like it was the most wonderful name in the world. It was surprisingly tender...coming from you," she added.

"Really?"

"Yes, so don't lie to me. You're more than friends with her, aren't you?" Bella's eyes swam with anger and shock.

I sighed. "I can't really say. We've been hanging out a lot and I like her, maybe a little too much. But she's going through something similar to what you're going through-" I stopped when Bella's eyes flashed with hurt.

"Do you love her," she whispered sadly.

I shook my head and laughed. "Love her? I don't think so. I'm sixteen, Bella. I'm not ready for all that."

"Good," Bella said sullenly. "Take my advice, Jake, love is for the birds. Nothing good can come out of falling in love."

"Come on Bella," I laughed uncomfortably. This was a side of Bella that I'd never seen. She wasn't an 'eternal optimist' like me, but never had Bella been so pessimistic. "Love isn't such a bad thing."

"Yes it is," she argued. "Who do we know that love worked out for? Our parents? Yeah right," she sneered. "My mom and dad were in love and look at my dad now. Your parents..."

"Wait a sec," I interrupted. "My mom and dad were in love until the day she died. In fact my dad still loves my mom."

"And that's why he's never been with any other woman. Same for my dad," she pointed out. "People fall in love then the other person leaves and they're stuck, pining after them, never loving anyone else again. I'm warning you, Jake, don't do it."

I knew that Bella wasn't talking about our parents though. Her words had another meaning and I knew she was talking about herself and Edward.

"That was their choice," I told her. "Our fathers chose to stay single. Life and love," I added, "is all about choices. You choose to move on or you choose not to. Whatever choice you make is up to you. Personally, I would choose to move on. Why dwell on what isn't there anymore? Especially when you don't have to," I said pointedly.

"Is that your advice to me?" she asked me angrily. "You think I should move on?"

"I thought we were talking about our parents?" I said, not liking where this conversation was going. I'd come down here just to see her and have lunch. I didn't plan on it turning into an argument over her love life.

"Well, now we're talking about me!" Bella practically yelled. "Is that what you're saying, Jake? That I need to move on?"

"I'm not saying anything about what you should do," I fired back. "But since you brought it up, maybe you should. You've been moping around for almost four months, Bella. You may not choose to move on, but you should at least try to get back to living your life."

Bella lowered her head as tears welled up in her eyes. Damn it! I didn't mean to make her cry.

"Bella, I'm sorry," I said. "That was crossing the line."

"No, Jake," she cried. "You're right. That's the problem. I know I need to move on. I know I need to live a normal life. But I can't. He was my life and I don't know how to live without him."

Thankfully the diner was practically empty or else I'm sure people would have been staring at us. I handed Bella a napkin which she used to wipe the tears from her eyes. It didn't help.

"I'm a mess," she admitted tearfully. "I can't sleep, I can't eat. All I do is think about him. But the worst part," she whispered. "The worst part is that I don't want to stop thinking about him. It's like the pain makes me feel like I wasn't dreaming, that he was real."

_What was she talking about?_ "Of course he was real," I said. "But he was just a boy, like any other boy. He wasn't your life, Bells. When you realize that, you'll be fine."

"No," she shook her head. "He wasn't like any other boy. He was...special." She wiped her face again. Her face was flushed but she looked different now, like her tears had awakened a part of her that had disappeared.

"Okay," I drug out the word. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. I have to get back to work. I'll see you later, Jake."

I'd never seen Bella move so fast without tripping, as she raced out of the diner. I looked down at my burger and now cold fries. My appetite was gone. What Bella said was disturbing at best. She would never get over it, if she didn't have the desire to do so. And I left the diner thinking that maybe she didn't have the desire at all.

****

I walked into my house feeling that my attempt to make Bella feel better hadn't worked at all. In fact, it was slightly depressing because I was sure that there was nothing I could do to help her. She didn't want to be helped. But mainly, she didn't want to get over the Cullen boy. At least with Leah, she wanted to get over Sam. She was willing to do whatever she had to do in order to do so. Bella had no desire to forget about Edward. In fact, she held on to his memory like he had died.

Charlie's cruiser was in the driveway so I wasn't surprised to see him and my father sitting at the kitchen table talking when I walked in. Charlie's face reflected exactly what I'd expected it to, sadness and frustration. Bella's depression was taking a toll on the normally content man.

"Hey Charlie, hey Dad," I greeted them.

"How was your afternoon?" my father asked expectantly. I guessed that they'd been discussing my trip to Forks. I was sorry that I would have to disappoint them.

"Not good," I replied. I took a bottle of water out of the fridge and sat down at the table.

"Did you see Bella?" Charlie asked. I nodded. "What do you think?"

"I don't know, Charlie. I don't know what to think. She doesn't seem to be able to let go."

Charlie let out a deep, hopeless sigh. "That's what I was afraid you were going to say."

"Bella's a good girl," my dad said. "She'll come around."

"It's been four months," Charlie scowled. "Bella has never been an easy going kid, but this...this is ridiculous. I could kill that boy!"

"What exactly is she doing?" Billy asked.

"Doing?" Charlie scoffed. "That's the problem. She doesn't _do _anything. She doesn't go out with friends. She doesn't talk on the phone. She goes to school and work. She doesn't laugh or smile. She doesn't talk. She walks around all day...lifeless."

My dad chuckled. "That sounds about right. I remember you being the same way. It took a Quileute army to get you out of the house, remember?"

"That's different," Charlie replied. "When Renée left, that was a bad time for me. Sure, I moped around for awhile, but not for months. And I was an adult. I handled it. Bella's not handling it. I think she's too young to feel this way. It's not like she was married with children and her marriage ended. She broke up with her boyfriend!"

"She got dumped," I corrected. My father scowled at me.

"I agree," my father said. "But teens nowadays, they're a different breed than we were. Maybe you should make her talk to someone about what she's feeling...a professional," Billy suggested.

I looked up from the bottle of water I was peeling the label off of.

"You think Bella should see a shrink?" I couldn't believe it. My dad hated doctors, especially head doctors. He thought they were a waste of money.

"Maybe it would help."

I wrinkled my face. "Are you serious? Bella won't talk to me. What makes you think she'll talk to a shrink?" I looked at Charlie. "Don't waste your money."

"What do you think he should do then, Jake?" my father asked me.

I shrugged my shoulders. "Hey, I'm just the kid here. I have no idea."

"Have you talked to Renée?" my dad asked Charlie. "I mean, about this Bella situation."

"Yes, quite a few times," Charlie answered. "She's just as worried as me. She and her husband think it might be a good idea if I sent her to Jacksonville with them. You know, give her a change of scenery."

"What do you think about that?" my dad asked.

Charlie didn't look happy with the idea at all.

"I just got her back, Billy. I certainly don't want her to leave again. But I don't want her to be miserable here, and I think she'll have a better chance at being happy again if she wasn't here." Charlie's expression was resigned. He didn't want to say it, but the decision was practically made.

"That might be a good idea," I offered my opinion. "I mean, I don't want her to go either. But it's been months and it seems like she's putting everything on hold, hoping that this loser comes back and he's not. He hasn't called; he hasn't even sent a simple email or text. He's not coming back."

"I know, Jake," Charlie said. "And that's exactly what she's doing, waiting on him. And it's not good for her. I really want to kill that kid," he added.

"Well, we all know that you're not," Billy commented. "But Jacksonville's a good idea. The sun might do Bella some good."

"She's not going to like it," Charlie stood up and put his police hat back on. "But I think it's best."

"You're leaving?" my dad asked, though it was obvious.

"Yeah, gotta get back to town and fight crime," Charlie laughed but it was forced. "You don't have to walk me out, I know the way."

"Still got jokes, old man," Billy laughed. "See you Sunday for the Seahawks game, right?"

"Same time, same place," Charlie said and walked out of the back door.

My dad looked at the door, then at me. "Good man," he stated. "He'll be okay. So will Bella. Don't worry."

"I'm not worried," I lied. But I was worried. Bella wasn't going to take the news that she was leaving well. I wondered what she would do. Nothing too drastic, I hoped, like run away. Was it even running away when you were eighteen?

"I'm going to work on the Rabbit," I said and took another bottle of water and a couple of apples out of the fridge. "Want me to fix dinner?"

"No, you don't have to worry about that. We're eating at Old Quil's place tonight."

"Council meeting?"

"Yeah."

"What's going on?" I asked. Council meetings meant that something was happening on the rez or about to happen.

"It's nothing to concern yourself with, son," Billy answered and started to roll out of the kitchen. "Oh yeah, Leah called."

"Okay." I stuffed one of the apples in the pocket of my sweats and stepped out of the back door. If Leah was home, she'd see me outside working on the Rabbit and come over. There was no need to call her back.


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: The chapter contains lemons...**

**_This chapter was really fun to write because it answers all of the questions on if Bella and Jacob are gonna be together or what exactly is going on with Leah and Jacob. I believe that Leah answers that question very well. Just keep an open mind and you will love this chapter. Next up...the return of Bella Swan lol. keeping reading and enjoy...JC_**

* * *

**Chapter 12**

My conversation with Bella and the one with my father and Billy left me reeling. Charlie sounded unsure in his decision about sending Bella to Jacksonville. I know how hard this was for him. He had been so excited when Bella had called him asking permission to come live with him. He talked about it for weeks. And now all that was coming to an end over a boy. I understood why Charlie wanted to kill Edward Cullen. For Charlie's sake, I hoped the Cullens stayed away...far away from Forks forever.

Even a week later, I still couldn't get Bella's deep pessimistic attitude out of my head. And I had to. Tonight, me and Leah, Quil and Kim, and Embry and Tammy were going out to celebrate a few things. Harry and Sue had relented and bought Leah a car due to her outstanding grades. Finally Leah's relentless pursuit of a perfect GPA was paying off. After all she'd sacrificed, putting up with me and my friends torturous teasing and nerd jokes mainly, they'd surprised her with a cute Honda.

Secondly, Embry had finally passed his driving test, after three tries. He didn't have a car but at least he was a legal driver, like the rest of us. And finally, we _had _tocelebrate the fact that my D in Algebra was now a B. Leah the nerd was rubbing off on me. If I could keep it up, I wouldn't have to hear Billy complaining about my lackluster grades all of the time.

The guys had spent a good deal of time – a few hours in my garage without Leah – putting together a fun night. Dinner at Bella Italia in Port Angeles and a stop at a teen dance club in Sequim. We wanted to go to Seattle but our parents vetoed that idea before it was completely out of our mouths.

Since we'd put so much planning into this, I didn't want my negative energy to mess up our night. I needed to talk about what I was feeling with my dad. He always has words of advice for me and my sisters whenever we need it.

I found him in the living room, sitting on the sofa and reading a book.

"Dad, did you get on the couch yourself?" I asked.

He grinned. I recognized the look. My sisters were right...me and my dad did have the same silly smile.

"Sure did. Still got a lot of muscles in these arms after all," he joked. "Aren't you supposed to be getting ready for your big date?"

I shrugged nonchalantly. "It's not that big of a deal."

"Really?" Billy raised his eyebrows in doubt. "You've ironed three different shirts for something that's not a big deal?"

I sat down on the tattered armchair, twisting my fingers through my loose hair.

"Talk to me son. What's eating you?"

"A lot," I answered. "Bella...Leah, just a lot of mixed emotions."

Billy closed his book and leaned forward. Even as trivial as I thought my issues were, my dad would never consider them to be less important than anything he was doing. That's why I usually enjoyed our talks.

"Well, Jake," he said. "I don't think there's anything you can do about Bella. You've tried to help. You've been a good friend to her. She'll come around and when she does, she'll realize it."

"It's not just that, Dad. I know I've done everything I can do for her. It just eats at me that she's in so much pain. And I'm not even the one who caused it."

Billy chuckled and patted the space next to him on the sofa. I moved over to the spot.

"You are definitely my son," he put his arm around my shoulder. "You've always had a soft spot for the opposite sex, their protector. You were like that, even as a kid, looking out for your sisters and the girls on the rez. Kinda like your old man."

"Really?"

"Sure," my dad smiled. "What you tried to do for Bella, what you're doing for Leah...I saw it coming."

I hadn't known that me and my father had so much in common. And if he saw something happening between me and Leah, I wish he had warned me. I wasn't expecting anything to happen. I wasn't even expecting to be friends with her again. She just happened to loan me her pencil that day and things just snowballed from there.

I groaned out loud, thinking about the first encounter between us on the trail when she was trying to avoid Sam.

"You really like Leah, don't you?" my dad guessed correctly.

I nodded. "A little too much, I think."

"And you don't think she likes you?"

"That isn't it", I confessed to my father. "There's no doubt in my mind that Leah likes me. But lately I've been feeling like she's still in love with Sam and I'm just a distraction." I told Billy that I wasn't sure if that's what I wanted to be to her.

My father listened to me vent without interruption. When I was finished talking, I glanced at him. He had a little gleam in his eye and was smiling.

"Jacob, you are more like me than I'd ever imagined."

"How's that?"

"When I met your mother, she was in a similar situation as Leah," his voice lowered as he began to speak of my mom, the love of his life.

My mom and dad had grown up together on the Quileute reservation and had known each other all of their lives. Like me and Leah, they played together when they were kids but grew apart as teenagers. My dad actually started talking to my mother again right after she'd gotten dumped by – to my utter surprise – Embry's dad. My dad told me she was devastated by their breakup. Embry's dad had taken an immense interest in a girl that that just moved to the rez, Elle Luka, my mother's second cousin.

Long story short, my father ran into her, my mom, Sara, one day while she was sitting on the beach watching Mr. Call and her cousin Elle play in the water. She was crying. My dad sat and talked to her and pretty soon they were hanging out all of the time, going to the picture show, he called it and down to Forks to the diner for ice cream floats. They had fun together but my father knew that she still had strong feelings for Mr. Call.

"You know what I did, Jake?" he asked.

"No. What?"

"I was there for her. I put my own feelings aside to be whatever Sara needed me to be. When she needed a friend, I was there. When she wanted to laugh or cry, I was right there with a joke or a shoulder to cry on. And when she needed to feel loved, to feel wanted....well, that's when I used the opportunity to show her my true feelings. We were married two years later."

I thought about what he was saying. I could do that with Leah. I could be whatever she needed me to be. I was _already_ doing that. There was only one problem, one difference between my parents' story and mine. Sam Uley. No matter what we did, there was always Sam, lurking in the background, never giving Leah any peace.

"Sam," the word was like bile in my mouth. "Sam's just always around, Dad. At least Mr. Call gave mom a chance to get over him. Sam won't even let Leah try. He's always following us around. Him and his stupid gang," I added angrily.

"You really don't like Sam," Billy inferred. "But not long ago, you used to look up to him, the way Seth looks up to you."

"That was before he became such a jerk. You should have seen him last week, dad. He looked like he wanted to rip my head off!"

"Yes," Billy said slowly. "He told me about that. Sam's learning..." he paused, searching for the right words. "Well, Sam's learning how to control his temper. The Council has been talking to him. He's doing much better. Especially now that he has Paul and Jared."

"Why are you on Sam's side?" I argued. "You're _my_ father, not his!"

"Jake, Sam doesn't have _anyone,_ you know that. And he's a good kid who loves this tribe and would do anything to protect it."

"Protect it?" I scoffed. "From what? The rain?"

"Jacob," Billy said. His voice changed. It was no longer the voice of my father. His next words were spoken by William Black, Quileute Elder and the true Chief of our tribe.

"Jacob, there are certain happenings going on outside of our tribe that Sam, Jared, and Paul have been sanctioned by our ancestors to handle."

"Like what?" I was intrigued. How could our dead ancestors sanction anyone?

"Now is not the time for you to know. But it's coming...soon. I can feel it. When it does, Jacob, everything will be clear. And you will take your rightful place with Sam amongst the tribe."

"Dad, you're creeping me out. I'm not hanging out with Sam." I wasn't kidding. My dad's expression was serious though. He believed everything that he was saying.

"There's nothing to be afraid of," Billy said. "Soon, you will be given the highest honor of any male in this tribe."

"Okay," I said uneasily and stood up. "Thanks for the scary pep talk, Dad. This was...great," I said sarcastically and went to my room.

****

For the rest of the night my dad's ominous words played in my mind over and over.

_It's coming soon. I can feel it._

_Rightful place amongst the tribe._

What did he mean by that? Was there something in those tribal books that he was always reading that I should know about?

"Jake?" Leah whispered in my ear. "Are you alright?"

We were all piled into a family sized booth at this amazing Italian restaurant. Everyone else seemed to be having fun, except me. I should have been enjoying myself. Great food, great friends...great girl. But I couldn't shake the thought that something was about to happen to me and it wouldn't be good.

"Yeah, um...I'm fine," I said. I needed some fresh air to clear my head.

I slid out of the booth. "I'll be right back."

"What's with him?" I heard Embry ask.

"I don't know," Leah's voice was thick with worry and that bothered me too. I didn't want her to worry about me. She had enough to deal with.

I stepped outside the restaurant, inhaling the cold wet air in huge gulps. As the cool air filled my lungs, my head became a little clearer. I was acting like a dork, spending money – hard earned money – on this date and not even enjoying myself because I was worrying about things that I couldn't control. If something was going to happen, it couldn't be too bad because my father wasn't concerned. I shouldn't dwell on it either. Dwelling over stuff, worrying...that wasn't me. I don't do that. And no matter how weird my dad's words were, I was not about to let them ruin my night.

I heard high-heeled footsteps behind me, and then Leah's arms were around my waist, pressing her body against mine.

"Hey," she said softly. "What's wrong?"

_Get it together, Jake,_ I admonished myself.

"It's nothing, Leah." I turned around until I was facing her. She looked up at me. Even in heels, my 6'4" frame towered over her.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm cool, I promise."

But her black eyes told me she didn't believe me.

"Jacob, are you tired of me? Because I know I haven't made things easy for you. But I'm trying, Jake..."

I put my finger against her lips. "Shhh. I'm not tired of you. I've just had some things on my mind."

"Really, Jacob?" she asked, still unsure.

"Sure, sure, I'm fine. Let's go back in."

I took her hand in mine and we walked back into the restaurant.

"I guess I should warn you," Leah said. "Embry ate your pasta."

I laughed. "And he'll be paying for it too. Besides, I wanted a steak anyway."

****

After dropping Embry off at his house, it was after midnight when I pulled into the Clearwater's driveway. I cut the engine. There was nothing but the sounds of the radio turned down low.

The night had ended on a good note. None of us had been to the dance club in Sequim before so we hadn't known what to expect. It was a nice place though. It was full of kids from all over…Forks, Port Angeles…all over. We saw some kids from the Makah reservation that we knew and ended up hanging with them.

I wasn't surprised that Leah was a good dancer. But the girls were surprised by mine and Embry's skills. I don't know why. We'd been tribal dancers up until we started high school and refused to dance around in our skivvies at pow wows and tribal meetings.

We all were exhausted by the time we left. Leah couldn't even drive do I ended up behind the wheel, taking everyone home. I looked over to see if Leah had dozed off on the way back from Embry's. She wasn't asleep but she had a far away look on her face, like she was lost in thought.

"Leah, you're dad's truck isn't here."

"I know." She kept staring out of the window. "They went to Seattle to visit my aunt. They'll be gone all weekend."

"They left Seth?"

She shook her head. "No, he went with them."

"Man, you're lucky," I laughed. "I'd pay good money to have the house to myself for a weekend."

"Yeah," she answered but her voice was distant. She opened the door and got out. I did the same and tossed her the keys. She caught them with one hand.

"Nice catch." I walked around to the passenger side of the car. Together we walked up the steps and I held the screen door open while Leah unlocked the door.

"Did you have fun?" I asked. I thought we ended up having a pretty good date but she sure wasn't acting like it.

"Oh yeah," she smiled. "The club was really fun. My feet are killing me."

I looked down at the high heeled boots that Leah was wearing. They were pewter colored leather that matched her sweater perfectly. I'd never thought of Leah as fashionable but apparently, she paid more attention to fashion than I thought. I guess I never noticed it because I didn't pay much attention to the things that we did _not_ have in common.

"Next time, don't put on three-inch heels," I teased. "No matter what you do, you'll always be short."

"Just because you're a giant, doesn't mean I can't kick your ass, Jacob Black."

"Sure, sure, in your dreams, you can do whatever you want." I grinned at her. "So, I'll see you tomorrow?" I asked hopefully. I was definitely going to need her help with the Rabbit.

"You have a curfew?" Leah asked.

"No. Billy didn't give me a time to be home."

Leah opened the door and stepped inside. "Then come in. I'm not sleepy and I'm sure your dad will just assume you're over here. We can watch a movie or….something."

I raised my eyebrows at the way her voice dipped when she said 'something'. I was very curious to know what 'something' she had in mind.

"That's cool," I said eagerly and walked into the house.

I'd been in the Clearwater house a million times, but something felt different this time. I've never been there when _no one _was there except me and Leah. I stood by the door while Leah hung up her coat in the hall closet. She grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the stairs.

"Come on, let's watch TV in my room."

I bit my lip to keep from grinning from ear to ear. Leah wanted to "watch TV" in her room, which only meant one thing. I realized exactly what the 'something' was.

I followed Leah up the stairs into her bedroom. When she turned on the soft light by her bed I was surprised to see that it was nothing like I'd expected. The room was painted brown of all colors. It wasn't a typical teenage girl's color but it fit Leah, the eternal pessimist.

The dark color was offset by powder blue. Everything else in her room, from her bed to her TV stand was painted that color. She had bookshelves that were filled with books and a rather impressive DVD collection. Her room wasn't messy like mine, more like organized chaos. I liked it.

"Make yourself comfortable," Leah suggested. "I need a minute in the bathroom." She picked up a pile of clothes off the bed and started to walk out of the room.

"Don't forget the air freshener!"

She rolled her eyes. "Real mature, Jake!" she hollered back.

I walked over to the bookshelves after hanging my leather jacket on the back of her desk chair. She had a decent selection of movies. I picked up The Breakup. We probably wouldn't watch much of it but it would provide decent background noise.

I was putting the DVD in the player when Leah came back, wearing a tank top and a pair of boys basketball shorts that were too big for her. Her feet were bare and she had brushed the curls out of her hair. It hung down to her waist in waves. She had washed the makeup off her face and looked soft and natural. She looked sexy.

I finished setting up the movie and sat on the edge of the bed.

"You know, when you don't wear any makeup, you still look gorgeous," I told her. "Most girls don't."

"I'm not most girls," she replied. "You know that."

She climbed around me to the middle of the bed and picked up the remote.

"Jake, we need to talk."

_Talk? _Talking was not what I had in mind at all. Unless we were speaking French, there wasn't really anything to say.

I slid next to her, stretching out on the bed and slipped my arm underneath her, pulling her petite body close to me. I leaned over and kissed the top of her head, then trailed my lips down the side of her face until I reached her lips. She kissed me back, running her fingers through her hair. Her tongue tasted like mints.

"Hmm," she moaned. "You are so bad." She pulled away but not out of my arms completely.

"Did you still want to talk?" I asked, hoping she would say no. Talking was the last thing I wanted to do, especially with her so close and smelling so…fresh. But if she had something she needed to say, I would listen.

'Yes," she said breathlessly. "But I don't know how to say this."

"Just say it, Leah."

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Can you turn off the light? It will be easier to do this if I can't see your face."

This didn't sound good but I turned off the light and the TV so it would be completely dark.

"Go ahead," I said softly. "Talk to me."

"There's two things I need to tell you," Leah started then stopped. "Oh my goodness," she laughed nervously. "I never thought that one day Jacob Black would be lying in my bed with me."

"Yeah, you're a very special girl," I tried to joke but my voice wasn't light enough. I was kind of nervous about what she wanted to tell me.

"I am special," Leah replied. "You really care about me. Jacob, you've been great. You've been my rock. And I don't deserve it," her voice broke. "I don't deserve you."

I held her a little tighter. When I touched her face I felt hot tears.

'Leah, you deserve to be happy. And if I make you happy, then you deserve me."

"No," she shook her head. "I don't. You're like this perfect guy. You make me smile when I don't want to. You let me vent to you. You even let me help you with your car. And I've done absolutely nothing but let you do it because it was what I needed to get my mind off Sam. I'm a horrible selfish person."

"Leah, stop," I told her. "You're not horrible. You can be a bit selfish but you're a girl. All girls are selfish. And you have done stuff for me. You tutored me in Algebra. You give me an excuse not to hang out with Quil and Embry every day. That's enough right there."

"You're such a sweet guy, Jacob," she sighed. "But we both know you deserve more than I can give you right now. You deserve a good girlfriend. And I'm not that."

"You are that," I countered.

"Not I'm not. I'm still dealing with this Sam crap. I don't even want another boyfriend."

That stung a little. But I remembered what my father said. It would take time. He waited almost two years for my mother.

"If you did want a boyfriend," I started to ask. "Would it be me?"

"Definitely," she answered without hesitation.

"Then that's all I need to know, Leah."

"Jake," she groaned. "Don't say -"

"Listen," I demanded. "While you're sitting here thinking you're such a horrible person because you don't want a boyfriend, did it ever cross your mind that maybe I don't want a girlfriend? Did it ever occur to you that maybe I'm perfectly happy with what we have as it is?"

In the moonlight, Leah's eyes widened with surprise.

"Are you? Are you happy with the way things are now?"

"I'm totally cool with things the way they are." As the words were coming out of my mouth I realized that they were true.

"Lee-Lee, you're like my best friend," I admitted. "But it's more than that. You're more than just a friend. You're everything that I should be but I'm not. We fit together, like two peas in a pod. Like Yin and Yang."

"Like Thomas J and Veda from My Girl?" she offered.

I laughed. "No. Like Tonto and the Lone Ranger."

"Or Bert and Ernie?"

I burst out laughing. "Bert and Ernie?"

"Yes," she laughed too. "I'm Bert, you're Ernie." She laughed like she made the best joke ever.

"We're not gay puppets."

"I know," she yelled. "We're Monica and Chandler!"

I shook my head. "Don't they get married? And there's no way I'm marrying you."

"Oh, I know. We're Phoebe and Joey!"

"Quit it with the Friends references."

"Oh come on," she pleaded. "Can we please be Phoebe and Joey?"

"Fine," I relented. "We're just like Phoebe and Joey."

Leah smiled and laid her head on my chest. "I can live with that."

We were silent for a few minutes. Was that all? She had said she wanted to tell me two things. As I far as I could tell, we'd only discussed one topic.

"What was the second thing?" I asked.

She groaned. "I can't talk about that now," she whined.

"Oh no you don't. You're not getting off that easily. What is it?

She buried her head in the thick cotton of my shirt. "I can't say."

"You better say," I said.

"No."

"Yes."

Leah was silent for a minute. I ran my hands casually down her back as she played with my hair. Then I heard her take a deep breath. I waited impatiently.

"We're friends, right."

"Yes, Leah."

"Good friends?"

"We're the best of friends."

"Friends with benefits?" she practically whispered.

My heart sped up in my chest. I could feel the blood boiling under her skin. If the lights were on, I knew that Leah's face would be bright red.

"Benefits…" I said, struggling to keep the excitement out of my voice. "Friends with benefits. What exactly do you mean by that?"

"You know what I mean," she whispered. Then Leah slipped her hand under my shirt. Her hands were soft against my chest.

"Tell me," I said. My voice sounded ten times deeper than normal.

Like she had in Port Angeles, Leah lifted my shirt above my navel but this time she started to plant tiny kisses on my chest. My heart felt like it was going to pop right out of my chest.

"Jacob…" she purred. "I'm ready. I want you…to be my first."

"Leah, you could have said that first and the other conversation could have waited until tomorrow."

I pulled her into my arms and we began to kiss. She lifted my shirt and t-shirt over my head and let out a soft gasp.

"Wow, you're getting a six pack," she admired.

I started to feel a little self conscious as Leah's eyes roamed my body. How was I supposed to respond to that? Instead of saying something stupid, I pulled her back down onto the bed and lifted her tank top to expose her flat stomach. I didn't move it up any further, afraid that I wasn't ready to handle seeing Leah's bare breasts.

"Are you nervous?" Leah asked me.

I nodded.

"Me too. But I'm sure I want to do this." She glanced down at the growing bulge in my jeans. "Especially now…with you."

"Show me," I uttered. "Show me how sure you are."

In an instant Leah slid her tank top over her head and tossed it on the floor. She pressed her bare chest against mine and started to kiss me again. As our kiss intensified, my hand brushed across one of her firm breasts. She moaned and slid her leg over mine and I almost died when her knee gently brushed across my groin.

Testing the waters, I let my other hand glide down her back and over her backside. She moaned when I slid my hand down the back of her shorts and gripped her behind. For a second I couldn't believe I was doing this. That feeling passed as I realized how bad I wanted to touch her, to be with her, in that way.

"Take off your shorts," I directed her. She obliged quickly while I fumbled with the buckle on my jeans.

Then we were both naked.

I've seen a lot of naked women before, on television, never in person though. Leah was by far the hottest one I've ever seen. The moonlight shone across her body, making it even more enticing.

"You are gorgeous," she breathed, taking the words right out of my mouth.

I smiled slightly and got back in the bed. Leah was lying on her back while I braced myself over her, using my elbows to keep from completely crushing her. I kissed her neck, then her ear, taking her tiny earlobe into my mouth and nipping it gently. She squirmed underneath me, her hands grasping at my back tightly.

I'd seen enough movies and read enough books to know exactly what I was supposed to do. I didn't want to rush this, even though I was throbbing with the desire to be _inside_ her. I wanted to make this as unforgettable for Leah as it would be for me.

I slid my hands up the side of Leah's bronze colored stomach until my hand found one of her breasts. I brushed my finger over her nipple, watching how it hardened at my slight touch. My erection rubbed against Leah's outer thigh as I gently kneaded her breast and kissed her moist lips. She shuddered beneath me but I knew she wasn't cold. Her body was burning up.

My breath caught in my throat when I felt Leah's hand shyly caress my rock hard length, then she wrapped her hand around it. I groaned. Her hand felt much better than mine.

I shifted a little and was now bracing myself above Leah. She looked into my eyes with an indescribable passion, a longing for me that almost took me over the edge.

"Are you sure about this?" I whispered.

"Yes, Jacob," she purred, her voice was filled with something I never heard before coming from her…desire and need. It was such a turn on.

She spread her legs slightly and I felt the heat radiating from her core. I leaned in closer, brushing the tip of my member against her opening. She moaned.

It was dark so I couldn't see exactly what I was doing. Instead like a blind man, I decided to feel around for what I was looking for. Leah inhaled sharply when my finger touched the swollen bud above her opening. She was slippery wet and my fingers glided easily over her clitoris.

"Oh God, Jake," Leah groaned. Her sex kitten noises only increased my excitement, especially as she wrapped her legs around my waist.

I slid my finger to her opening and stopped, looking for any sign of discomfort or regret in her eyes. We were almost at the point of no return. I had to be sure that this is what she wanted.

Her impatient wiggle against my finger was enough to tell me that she was just as ready as I was. Slowly, I pushed my erection about an inch inside her. Leah grimaced as her muscles – that had never been stretched so far before – tightened. I stopped, though stopping was just about the hardest thing I've ever done.

"Are you okay?"

She nodded, biting her lip. "That really hurts."

I moved backwards. I didn't want to hurt her. But she pulled me back.

"No, just go slowly," she said, trying to sound convincing. "It's supposed to hurt. It'll pass."

I stared at her, several excruciatingly long seconds passed, but there was no doubt in Leah's eyes.

I moved forward again, her wetness making my entrance a little easier. She grimaced.

"Leah, if you relax, loosen your muscles, it won't hurt as bad."

"I know," she whispered. "But you're just so…_big_."

"Do you want me to stop?"

"No."

I eased in a little more. Leah smiled a little as her muscles adjusted to me. I leaned down and began to kiss her, deeply, while thrusting myself as gently as I could inside her. She responded by arching her hips, driving me deeper into her.

_It felt incredible_!

I moved slowly in and out of Leah's hot body as she clamped her legs tightly around my waist. She grasped at my back, raking her nails down my skin, as she moaned in pleasure beneath me.

I couldn't make my lips form words as unrecognizable sounds escaped my lips. This was unbelievable, better than anything I've ever felt in my life.

"Faster, Jake," Leah whispered urgently and I knew that the pain had subsided and she was enjoying herself as much as I was. I pumped away at a faster pace until I felt myself nearing my release. I pulled out, just in time as my thick seed erupted out of me and onto the sheets.

"Damn," I sighed as I fell back on the bed. "That was amazing."

"I know," Leah said breathlessly. Her legs were still wrapped around me as we lay side by side.

"Did you…" I started to ask, because even though I did, I didn't know how to tell if Leah had enjoyed a release as good as mine.

"Oh yeah," she smiled. "A couple of times."

_Thank God!_ I surely didn't want to disappoint on my first effort. This wasn't like riding a bike or playing a sport. You only get one chance to make a first impression.

Leah rested her head on my chest, her fingers making little circles around my navel. We were quiet as we both caught our breath.

"Well, I bet Phoebe and Joey never did that," I said.

She chucked softly. "We don't know that."

I kissed the top of her head. She smiled up at me and kissed me on my lips.

"I'm going to get us something to drink," she said. "Gotta replenish the fluids for round two." She winked at me as she climbed out of the bed.

Round two…I could definitely handle a round two.


	13. Chapter 13

**_The moment you've all been waiting for...Bella's return. I hadn't planned on writing 8 chapters to cover the four months that Bella was in her Edward induced coma, it just happened that way. Anyway, you know the drill by now...leave comments, ask questions...I love to hear your thoughts. Enjoy and keeping reading...JC_**

* * *

**Chapter 13**

"Jacob!" I heard my father call as he and Harry entered the house, returning from _another_ council meeting.

It was Saturday and I was supposed to be outside working on my car but _something _had come up.

I glanced over at Leah and burst out laughing at the terrified expression on her face. I don't know why she was so afraid; we hadn't even done anything. Nothing like we'd been doing for the past two weeks.

"Put your shirt back on," I laughed.

"My dad's going to kill you, Jacob, not me, you, for defiling his innocent little girl," she hissed as she scrambled around my bed looking for her t-shirt.

"Innocent my ass," I laughed again. "You started this." I smirked and threw my own shirt over my head. "We were supposed to be working on my car. You're the one who suddenly needed to grab a **'**manual**'** out of my room."

Leah practically growled at me as she pulled her purple t-shirt on and tied her hair back into a ponytail. I waited until she was done before opening the door.

"Yeah Dad?" I called. Leah sneered at me as I pushed her towards the kitchen, blocking my father - _and her father's_ – line of sight so they wouldn't see her leave my room.

"Thought you were going to be working on your car all day," my father questioned. I could read the suspicion in his eyes – especially when the back door creaked – even though there was no sign of it in his voice.

"I am," I answered. "Well, we were but it started raining and Leah…" I rambled, while trying to think of a believable excuse as to why we were in the house, even better, my room.

"Hey Dad! Hey Billy," Leah chirped as she came back into the hallway. "Jake, did you find the manual? Because I really am not gonna be able to put the fuel pump in without it."

I turned to face her, hiding my own surprise. Leah actually looked like we'd spent most of the morning in the garage instead of in my room, doing things we probably weren't supposed to be doing. Her ponytail was a little messy and in just a few minutes she managed to get a little garage dirt on her jeans and hands.

"No," I stammered. I'm not a good liar already, but when I'm surprised into lying, it's worse. "I couldn't find it."

"Are you talking about the book that's been sitting on the couch for the last two days?" my dad stared at me.

"Ugh, you're clueless, Jacob," Leah uttered and breezed past our fathers into the living room. She picked up the book and smirked slyly. I was totally blown away by Leah's quick recovery while I stood in the hallway looking like a complete ass.

Billy Black is the most observant person I know. One look into my eyes and he knew…he really knew something was going on but he didn't say anything. He just shook his head at me.

"Are you kids hungry?" he asked. "We stopped and picked up a bucket of chicken, if you are."

"I'm famished," Leah spoke up and waltzed past me, discreetly brushing her hand against my thigh as she passed. I could have killed her.

"I think I'll pass on the chicken," Harry said. "Charlie asked me to come down to the station. There have been some animal attacks. Leah," he yelled into the kitchen. "Don't stay over here all day tinkering around with Jake" – my dad shot me a look – "you know your mother wants to take you shopping."

"Aww Dad, you know I hate shopping with Mom," Leah whined. "Can't I just -"

"No, you can't," Harry yelled back. "You need to spend some time with your mother anyway."

Since she was in the kitchen Leah missed the look Harry gave my dad. I hoped I was seeing things. _Did Harry, Sue, and my dad know about me and Leah? How? _We were very discreet.

"Fine," Leah huffed.

"I think I'm gonna pass on the chicken too," my dad said. "I really want to finish up this book I've been reading."

"Okay," I said slowly. It wasn't like he was doing me a favor by leaving me and Leah alone in the kitchen.

Leah had already set paper plates out and was nibbling on a chicken leg. I sat down across from her and grabbed a piece.

"So what kind of animal attacks do you think Charlie's worried about?" Leah asked me, just loud enough for my father to hear.

"Do you think they know?" she asked under her breath.

I shrugged. "I don't know," I said in my normal voice, answering both questions. "Probably bears. I heard some guys talking about seeing some pretty big bears in the woods lately."

"No, you haven't," Leah shook her head.

But I had and told her so. At lunch the other day, Jordan had announced to the group that he saw a really huge bear up by the cliffs. He thought it was a grizzly at first. He said it was big and black and that even on all fours the bear was taller than me…biggest bear he'd ever seen. Leah had been too busy reprogramming her scientific calculator to pay attention.

"You don't remember Jordan talking about that?" I asked.

"There aren't any bears out by the cliffs," Leah stated, always the know-it all.

"Do you know where _all _the bears are, Leah?" I said, giving her a hard time. "I mean, do they report their exact location to you?"

"Have _you _ever seen a giant black bear out by the cliffs, Jacob?"

"I'm just saying…Jordan said he saw it. And he backpacks too so he would know before you would."

"And all I'm saying is there aren't any bears out by the cliffs. Maybe further up in the mountains. If there were huge bears out by the cliffs or anywhere near here, don't you think that we would have been warned," Leah argued, sounding a bit pretentious or ostentatious if you ask me.

"Oh chill out -" I fired back. "Eat your chicken."

"Kiss it, Black," she stated.

"When and where, Baby?" I teased.

"Jacob! Leah!" my dad yelled from the living room. "I'm trying to read!"

"Sorry, Dad," I called back sheepishly.

"Leah, why don't you go check on your mother," Billy suggested. "I'm sure she's ready to go shopping."

"Okay, Billy," Leah answered, smiling at me. "Later," she said under her breath so Billy couldn't hear. "You can kiss it later."

I nodded. "Sure, sure. Get out of here before you get us both in trouble."

She laughed her flirty Leah giggle that I adore, and stepped out the back door. She waved at me before sprinting across the street. Leah was fast…very fast. Because of her quickness, she's been encouraged to try out for the track team and of course, she's nominated me as her running partner.

Being beat by Leah on the school track was embarrassing. She's like lightening out there. But I'm getting better. A few more weeks and I'll be quicker than her. I'll just keep pushing myself until I am better!. My pride is too strong to get outrun in a footrace by a girl.

I continued eating until my dad said my name. I dreaded going into the living room because I knew what he wanted and this was not going to be a comfortable conversation. We'd had the _birds and the bees_ talk before but not since I've officially been doing it.

I walked slowly down the hall, like a condemned man walking down the Green Mile. This conversation was literally going to kill me. Rachel and Rebecca had forewarned me a long time ago that sex talks with dad, _after_ you had sex were the worst. Maybe it would be better for me since I'm his only son. It's okay for the boy to deflower the girl, not the other way around.

I heard a familiar roar of a car engine and I broke out in a wide smile. I'd recognize that engine anywhere. To date, it's my best work. _Bella's truck._ I peered out the window as she cut the engine. What was she doing here? Forget that, the simple fact that she was driving her own truck and was here on the reservation was enough. She wasn't in Florida!

I darted out the front door. She stood near her truck, looking bewildered. She also looked tired and her face was drawn.

"Bella!" I called. As I got closer to her I saw how bad she really was. Her physical appearance was still the same, same pale face, same dark brown hair, but still, everything looked dull. Like her sparkle, _the essence of Bella_, had faded. Still, I was extremely glad to see her, up and about, instead of dwelling in her house, like a recluse.

"Hey Jacob!" she answered back softly but she smiled and that was what I was looking for.

I stopped a few feet away from her. She stepped back, intimidated by my height.

"You grew again!" she said in amazement.

I laughed. "Six-five."

"Is it ever gonna stop?" Bella shook her head like she couldn't believe I'd grown so much. "You're huge."

_Huge_? Not really. Tall was about it, though my muscles were filling in quite nicely, thanks to working out with Drill Sergeant Leah Clearwater. But I still wasn't where I wanted to be yet.

"Still a beanpole though." I shrugged. I was confused. Bella was acting like she hadn't seen me in months. It had only been a couple of weeks since I took her to lunch. Surely I hadn't grown that much. Bella must have really been out of it if she hadn't noticed how tall I was before now.

Bella kept staring at me. Her eyes were wide with disbelief but that was all I saw in them. Other than that, they were empty...still.

"Come inside," I suggested. "You're getting all wet."

The rain was really starting to come down. I glanced across the street. Leah was getting into the car with her mother. She waved slowly and pointed at Bella's truck. I shrugged. I had no idea what she was doing here. All I knew was that I was glad to see her.

I led Bella into the house. My father looked up when we came through the door. He was just as shocked to see her as I was.

"Hey Dad, look who stopped by."

"Well what do you know? It's good to see you Bella." He looked at me with a smirk in his eyes. I knew that he was thinking that I was lucky but I wasn't getting out of our conversation.

"What brings you out here?" Billy asked Bella. "Everything okay with Charlie?"

Bella nodded. She even smiled a bit.

"Yes, absolutely. I just wanted to see Jacob. I haven't seen him in forever?"

_What?_ My dad looked at me with curious eyes. He knew that I _said_ I was going to Forks to see Bella. Did Bella forget that I was just down there? I hoped so because if she didn't, Bella was going to get me in trouble.

"Can you stay for dinner?" My dad sounded eager to have Bella here. I was even more confused. First she's acting like she hasn't seen me in months and now my father wants her to have dinner with us. He was probably going to grill her about our conversation in the diner, just to see if I really went to Forks that day.

"No," Bella answered. "I've got to feed Charlie, you know."

"I'll call him now," Billy offered. "He's always invited. We usually have enough food even though my son eats like a pig."

Bella laughed but her laugh was all wrong. It wasn't genuine, more forced than anything.

"It's not like you'll never see me again, Billy. I promise I'll be back again soon – so much you'll get sick of me."

Billy chuckled. Plan foiled. Ha! "Okay, maybe next time."

"So, Bella, what do you want to do?" I asked her because I was almost certain she hadn't driven up here to hang out with my father.

"Whatever," she answered nonchalantly. "What were you doing before I interrupted."

_About to have the conversation from hell,_ I thought.

"Umm, I was just heading out to work on my car." Then I remembered how clumsy and uncoordinated Bella was. There were a lot of sharp objects in the garage. Probably not the best place for her to be.

"But we can do something else..."

"No, that's perfect," Bella replied. "I'd love to see your car."

"Okay," I agreed slowly. Something was clearly off about Bella. She didn't strike me as the type who'd be interested in cars. "It's out back, in the garage."

I started towards the door slowly. Bella followed.

"See you later," she waved at Billy, and then followed me around to the back of the house into the garage.

The Rabbit was sitting on cinder blocks since we had been messing with stuff underneath the car. I saw Leah's jacket flung over one of the crates she'd been sitting on and wondered if Bella would ask about it or if she'd even noticed it. Lately, Bella hadn't been noticing very much of anything.

"What kind of Volkswagen is that?" she asked after a few minutes of staring at my car.

"It's an old Rabbit – 1986," I told her. "A classic."

"How's it going?"

"Almost finished. My dad made good on his promise last spring," I reminded her.

She nodded and continued to stare at the car. I couldn't figure out what was so fascinating about the Rabbit's door. It wasn't like she was looking under the hood with me. Then it dawned on me. Last spring. When I'd gone to her prom. She probably didn't want to talk about that.

"Jacob," Bella said slowly. "What do you know about motorcycles?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Some. My friend Embry has a dirt bike. We work on it together sometimes. Why?"

"Well," Bella dragged out the word like it was two syllables. "I recently acquired a couple of bikes, and they're not in the greatest condition. I was wondering if you could get them running?"

"Are you serious? You got a motorcycle?" That was cool. I never thought Bella to be a biker chick but then again, I really didn't know her that well.

"Actually, it's two. Do you think you can fix them?"

"Cool," I was excited. With the Rabbit almost done, we'd need a new project to get us through the rest of the boring school year. "I'll give it a shot."

Bella looked down at the ground then back at me. She held up one finger.

"The thing is," she said quietly. "Charlie doesn't approve of motorcycles. Honestly, he'd probably bust a vein in his forehead if he knew about this. So you can't tell Billy."

Oh yeah, my kind of plan. Motorcycles and secrets. This was going to be a fun spring.

"Sure, sure. I understand."

"I'll pay you," Bella stated.

"No," I said slightly offended. Like I would ever take money from Bella for giving me a new project to work on. That would be just wrong.

"No," I repeated. **"**I want to help. You can't pay me."

"Well...how about a trade, then?" she offered. "I only need one bike, and I'll need lessons too. So how about this? I'll give you the other bike and then you can teach me." She actually looked anxious and a little spark had returned to her eyes.

Plus this was a deal I couldn't pass up. "Swee-eet."

"Wait a sec," Bella interrupted. "Are you even legal yet? When's your birthday?"

"You missed it," I teased with fake resentment. "I'm sixteen."

I called her on my birthday to see if she wanted to come up to the rez for my party but she wasn't home. Charlie told me she was with her boyfriend. I didn't pay it any mind. I was being nice.

"Not that your age ever stopped you before," she muttered, unhappy again. "Sorry I missed your birthday."

"Hey, don't worry about it," I said lightly. "I missed yours. What are you, forty?" I teased.

Bella looked down at the ground again. "Close."

Geez, she was gloomy.

"Come on," I said to cheer her up. "We'll have a joint party to make up for it."

A small smile. "Sounds like a date...maybe when the bikes are finished," she added. "Our present to ourselves."

I grinned. "Deal. When will you bring them down?"

I laughed at the way Bella bit her lip as her face flushed. Why was she embarrassed?

"They're in my truck now," she whispered.

"Great!"

"Will Billy see if we bring them around?"

Probably if he was being nosy but I didn't tell Bella that. Instead I winked at her to set her at ease.

"We'll be sneaky."

We strolled out of the garage, me cautiously walking behind Bella, making sure she didn't trip over anything. Bella actually looked excited when she uncovered the bed of her truck.

Two rusty motorcycles lay on their sides in her truck. Sure, they weren't in the best condition but neither was my car when I first got it. All three – the two bikes and my car – looked like scrap metal when I got them. But after I finished, they'd be works of art.

I lifted the smaller red bike out first. It wasn't as heavy as I thought a motorcycle should be. Or maybe I was just getting stronger. The black bike was a little heavier as I took it out of the truck and wheeled it back to the garage. Bella wheeled the red one and thankfully only stumbled once in the short distance to the garage. I'm sure if she had fallen, Billy would have come outside to investigate.

"These aren't half bad," I said as we walked. "This one here," – the one I was holding – "will actually be worth something when I'm done. It's an old Harley Sprint." The fact that it was a Harley was enough for me. I was going to have to borrow Leah's computer and look up the blue book price on it.

"That one's yours, then." Bella stated.

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely."

There was no way to hide my excitement. Bella was giving me a Harley. All I had to do was fix it. This was insane! But so AWESOME! Quil and Embry were going to hate me!

At least they'd get to help me work on them. I appraised the condition of the two bikes. They were definitely going to need a lot of work before I could put them on the road.

"These are going to take some cash, though," I informed Bella. "We'll have to save up for parts first."

"We nothing," she disagreed. "If you're doing this for free, I'll pay for the parts."

"I don't know," I muttered. "This might get expensive. You should at least let..."

**"**I've got some money saved," she said, slightly agitated. "College fund, you know."

I knew that we definitely couldn't let Charlie or my dad find out about the bikes if Bella was using her college money to fix them. Charlie would kill us both and if there was anyone in the area that I was afraid of, it was Chief Swan.

He was the first to warn my father of the dangers of letting me, Embry, and Quil ride dirt bikes, especially when we took them off the reservation and onto the streets. He regaled us with horror story after horror story of bikers speeding on the long wet stretches of road that twisted and turned through the forest and not walking away from the accidents they found themselves in.

All we ever took from the story was "long winding roads through the forest" and "speeding". I can't begin to count the number of times Charlie caught us and drove us home in his cruiser, Embry's bike in the trunk of the police car.

So we didn't have a choice but to keep it a secret.

****

"So, my dad isn't complaining about my grades as much now that I'm getting a B in Algebra," I told Bella as I dismantled the small red bike.

She was sitting in the Rabbit, on the passenger side. She'd avoided Leah's crate, as if she knew it belonged to someone. She had been quiet most of the afternoon, but I was determined to keep her with me for as long as possible. She'd made the trip up here for a reason. Maybe Bella had decided that she really did need a friend.

"And what were you getting before?"

"Umm...a D," I laughed. "But at least I wasn't failing like Quil."

"Who's Quil?"

"He's one of my best friends," I told her...again. There was no way that I hadn't mentioned Quil before.

"Who's your other best friend?" she asked as she glanced at the pink jacket draped over the crate.

"Embry," I said. Leah wasn't my best friend and I didn't feel the need to bring her up again, especially after the way Bella had reacted the last time I talked about her.

"Quil and Embry?" she raised her eyebrows. "Those are unusual names."

"Quil's is a hand-me-down," I chuckled. Quil really hated his name. "And I think Embry got named after a soap opera star. I can't say anything about it though. They fight dirty if you start on their names. They'll tag team you."

"Good friends?" she sounded doubtful.

"No," I corrected. "They are great friends. Just don't mess with their names."

At the same time, I heard footsteps and someone call my name.

"Is that Billy?" Bella looked nervous.

"No," I groaned and shook my head. "Speak of the devil and the devil shall appear."

"Jake! Are you out here?" Quil yelled.

"Yeah!" I shouted back.

I wanted Bella to meet my friends...one day. Today was not that day. Ever since I'd come clean with them about me and Leah, the joking and teasing was relentless. We couldn't go five minutes – with or without Leah – without them making some crude joke. I tolerated it because I was used to it. But with Bella here, I'm sure all the teasing would only make her more upset. I couldn't get her reaction from the diner out of my head.

Quil and Embry came inside the garage and I groaned again. I didn't know they were together. This wasn't going to end well.

They stopped short when they noticed Bella sitting in the car. Embry looked at me curiously. I shook my head at him, hoping that he would take the hint...now was not the time.

Quil kept his eyes on Bella, a slow smiled spreading across his face. I wanted to hit him.

"Hey guys, what's up?"

"Look at his head!" Embry pointed at Quil and laughed.

Quil had cut his hair! It was so short, almost like a military buzz. I was so jealous!

"You cut your hair? How'd you manage to do that? What did your dad...scratch that, what did your grandfather say?"

"They don't know!" Embry howled and doubled over laughing.

"Man, you're gonna get in trouble," I shook my head. Cutting our hair was one of the seven deadly sins on the reservation.

"Shut up, Jake," he demanded, obviously embarrassed and in front of a girl, nonetheless. "Who's your friend?

"Oh yeah, Quil, Embry – this is my friend Bella." I emphasized friend so they wouldn't start.

"Charlie's kid, right?" Quil asked her, holding out his hand.

"That's right," Bella answered shyly and shook his hand. I wanted to kick Quil out when he started flexing his biceps, his odd way of flirting. He was smaller than me. I don't know why he embarrasses himself like that.

"I'm Quil Ateara," he said proudly.

"Nice to meet you, Quil."

"Hey Bella, I'm Embry. Embry Call." Normally Embry wasn't nervous around girls but he looked really nervous as he introduced himself to Bella. "You probably already figured that out, though," he smiled and waved with one hand.

"Nice to meet you too."

"So what are you guys doing?" Quil's voiced rose with suspicion.

I glared at him. "Bella and I are going to fix up these bikes?"

"Really?" Embry said, finally looking away from Bella and at the pile of dismantled metal I had on the garage floor.

"Cool!" Quil said. They both joined me on the floor and started thumbing through the parts with me.

"You're gonna need new brake pads," Embry informed me after the bike was completely apart. "These are worn down completely."

I glanced at the part he was holding. Definitely. I added brake pads to the mental list of parts I was keeping.

"I was just online," Quil chirped up. "They have these new iridium spark plugs out now. They're supposed to really give your bike some power. You should put those in the engine."

"Yeah, but this isn't for me or my money," I added. "I bet those plugs are expensive."

Eventually we became so engrossed in the bikes and parts that I completely forgot Bella was in the garage until she sighed and slid out of the car. I looked from the bikes to her and she didn't seem mad, as far as I could tell.

"We're boring you, aren't we?" I asked apologetically.

"No," she answered. "I just have to go cook dinner for Charlie."

"Oh," I said. I'd forgotten how completely responsible Bella was or was it how completely helpless Charlie was in the kitchen. Even my father cooked better than Charlie and my dad's in a wheelchair.

"Well, I'll finish taking these apart tonight and figure out what more we'll need to get started rebuilding them. When do you want to work on them again?"

"Could I come back tomorrow?" I didn't miss the hopefulness in Bella's voice.

Quil nudged Embry and they grinned at each other. I ignored them.

"That would be great." She could come over every day if that's what she needed to do. At least I wouldn't be stuck in her house doing homework while she locked herself in her room.

"If you make a list, we can go shop for parts," Bella suggested.

"I'm still not sure I should let you pay for everything."

"No way," she laughed a little. "I'm bankrolling this party. You just have to supply the labor and expertise."

"Expertise? Ha!" Embry rolled his eyes. "He'll be calling me for help more than you think, Bella."

"Shut up, Embry!" I snapped and then quickly looked over at Bella. "That doesn't seem right. I can't let you pay for everything."

"Jake, if I took these to a mechanic, how much would he charge me?"

I smiled. There was only one good mechanic in Forks and Mr. Dowling would charge Bella her entire college fund.

"Okay, you're getting a deal."

"Not to mention the riding lessons," she added.

Quil grinned mischievously at Embry and whispered, "Doesn't he get enough riding lessons from Leah?"

My hand flashed out and smacked the back of Quil's head. I'd wanted to do that since he walked through the door. "That's it, get out," I told him.

"No," Bella interrupted, not understanding that I wanted them to leave. "Really, I have to go." She headed for the door in a rush. "I'll see you tomorrow, Jacob."

She walked out of the garage and I glared at my friends.

"You two are so immature!"

"Woooo! Jake, what's Leah gonna say when she finds out that you spent the day with another girl?" Quil teased.

"And a gorgeous one at that!" Embry added.

"Shut up, and I swear, if either of you set as much as one toe on my land tomorrow..."

"What are you going to do?" Leah asked from the doorway. She was smiling and looking down at the motorcycles. "What's all this?"

"Jake's been commissioned to fix these bikes for...Bella," Quil literally sounded like he wanted to break out in song, he was so thrilled.

"Bella Swan rides motorcycles?" Leah said skeptically.

"I don't know but she asked me to fix them and I agreed."

Leah knelt down next to the dismantled red bike and picked up an engine part.

"This is going to take awhile, Jake."

"Hey," I chuckled lightly. "I have three other people to help me. It won't take that long."

"I'm not helping unless you pay me," Quil stated.

"Yeah, right," Leah said. "You'll be here whenever Bella is. I mean, a new girl on the rez. You won't be able to help yourself, Quil."

"She is kinda cute," Embry chimed in.

"Leah, you don't mind that Jacob plans on spending all of his free time with another girl?"

Leah looked at Quil and rolled her eyes. Then she gazed at me. "_All _of your free time?"

"Not all," I corrected her. "Bella's not going to come up here that much."

"Well, if she enjoyed herself today," Leah said, "I'm sure she'll be back...a lot."

"And you don't care."

"And you don't care?" Quil instigated.

"Why would I care? Bella is Jacob's friend."

"What if he starts hanging out with her like he 'hangs' out with you?" Quil insinuated. "How would you feel about that?"

"That's it!" I yelled. "Get out. Both of you!"

"Aww come on, Jake, we're just kiddin' around."

"You're getting on my nerves, that's what you're doing," I growled. "I'll be back. Be gone when I come out of the house."

I stormed out of the garage and walked towards the house. Before I knew it, Leah was right beside me.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm thirsty. Can't I get a drink of water without something being wrong?" I snapped.

"Yeah, but something is wrong," she said calmly. "Tell me."

"No."

I was too embarrassed to admit that I wanted Leah to be a little jealous that Bella had spent most of the afternoon with me. I wanted Leah to be a little upset that I would be spending more time with Bella and this time it would be on the rez. But she wasn't even a little upset. That bothered me. Had the tables been turned, I would have been pissed.

"You're mad that I'm cool with this whole Bella thing, aren't you?" she guessed.

"That's dumb. Why would I be mad about that?"

Leah stopped walking. I stopped too.

"Because you lied when you said you were happy with the way things were with us?"

"No, I didn't," I defended myself. "I am happy with the way things were then and are now."

"But?" Leah fished.

I sighed. "Well, I just thought you'd be a little more irritated that I'd be spending a lot of time with someone else, other than you."

"Jacob," she smiled. "You are too cute. Of course, I'm a little miffed that I don't get to have you to myself anymore. But I understand. I'm sure when Bella _acquired_ those bikes; she only had one person in mind to fix them...you. And not because you're this excellent mechanic either, because we both know your car would still not be running if it weren't for me. But because you're..." her voice trailed off.

"I'm what?" I said, curious now.

She took a deep breath. "Because, you're like a cool breeze on a hot day. Or like a rainbow after a storm. When you're around, everything just seems better. Bella needs that right now. She needed it months ago...but she's just now realizing it. And who am I to take away someone's rainbow?" I pulled Leah into my arms and hugged her. She hugged me back.

"What are you doing here anyway?" I asked. "You were supposed to be shopping with your mom."

"We shopped. We _talked. _It wasn't pleasant. But I came over because Old Quil is on his way over. Seems like someone squealed on Quil's new haircut." She reached into her purse and pulled out a flat package wrapped in cellophane.

"I brought popcorn!"


	14. Chapter 14

**_So sorry about the posting delay. For whatever reason, I couldn't upload any new chapters. About this chapter...well all I can say is that it was very fun to write. This chapter does contain a rather zesty lemon so reader discretion is advised. But I'm sure you'll love it. As always, leave comments and suggestions, I love to see what you guys think... JC_**

* * *

**Chapter 14**

There wasn't much to do after Old Quil and the rest of the council showed up at our house and gave Quil a good tongue lashing for cutting his hair. The way Old Quil's face turned bright red with anger made me stop wanting to cut my hair...ever.

After the drama and Quil sulking behind his parents as they ushered him home, Leah went home and I went back into the house. My dad was waiting, with a patient smile on his face and I knew that I truly had not gotten out of _our_ little talk.

"Jacob, have a seat," he said. I grimaced but still I sat. After what Quil had just gone through, I knew better than to disobey an elder.

"What's up, Dad?" I asked even though I already knew.

He smirked. "I think you know."

"Aww man, Dad. Do we have to talk about this? We've had this conversation before."

"But that was before...um...Leah came into your life...again."

My heart was pounding in my chest and my body started to heat up. In one sentence my dad confirmed that all me and Leah's sneaking around had been for nothing. He knew. And if he knew, chances were that Harry and Sue knew too. I wondered why Harry hadn't said anything to me yet. Or better yet, why hadn't he killed me yet? Was he thinking of a plan? I wouldn't be going fishing or hunting with him again for a very long time, that's for sure.

"So," Billy said, not even looking at me, but at the television. Obviously this conversation wasn't as uncomfortable for him as it was for me.

"Do you wanna just go ahead and tell me what's really going on with you and Leah or are you going to drag this conversation out all night? I don't have anything else to do, Jake – do you?"

I sighed. There was no getting around this. My dad was quite relentless when he wanted information.

"What do you want to know?"

"The truth," he said matter of factly but I didn't understand. I'd never lied to him about Leah. I just never told him how far we've gone. That's not lying.

"I told you the truth," I replied. "But that's not what you want to know, is it?"

This time my father looked directly at me. "I just want to know if you're being careful."

_Oh God!_ This was much worse than I ever could have imagined. I thought Billy was gonna lecture me on the risks of sex at a young age and the whole emotional aspect of it. I never – not once – thought he would ask if I was practicing safe sex!

"Umm, I...well, we..." I stammered. "Yes."

"Yes what?" Billy probed.

I closed my eyes and groaned. Inside I was dying a slow tortuous death.

"Yes, we're being careful."

"Really?" Billy raised one eyebrow. "How's that?"

I glared at my dad, really stared him down, hoping he would take back his question and ask me something else...anything else.

"Dad, we use protection, alright," I snapped. "We're not stupid. Neither one of us is ready to be a parent."

My dad was quietly shocked for a second then he laughed.

"That's not what I'm talking about but I'm glad to know that bit of information."

"Then what are you talking about," I huffed.

"Is Leah your girlfriend?"

So, that's what this was about. My dad didn't care – well, he did care obviously – about me and Leah having sex, but he was more concerned over the relationship we had.

"No," I admitted.

"But yet, you are having sex?"

I shrugged. A lot of boys my age have sex with girls that they aren't in a relationship with.

"Is that a problem?" I asked.

"I think it could become a serious problem," Billy said. "Why do you think that what you're doing is okay? And is she the only one or are there more girls. And don't lie to me, Jacob. I know how boys your age are."

I laughed at that one. "No, she's the only one. And it's okay because we both want to do it and we like each other."

"That's not good enough," Billy shook his head. "Leah is just a teenage girl. While you may think that being friends with her and having sex is okay, I'm sure she's feeling an entirely different way. Girls can't just push their feelings to the side for a boy. And she must really like you in order to do..._that_...with you."

"Dad," I replied. "Do you remember what I said to you before, about Leah? She doesn't like me like that. She doesn't want me to be her boyfriend. If anything, it's me pushing my feelings to the side for her. I'm just taking your advice."

"My advice?" Billy questioned.

"Yes," I nodded. "Your advice. You're the one who told me 'to be whatever Leah needs me to be', right?"

"But, I didn't mean -"

"Well, that's what I'm doing," I said sharply. "Leah needs me and I'm going to be there for her, _however_ she needs me to be. That's why we're such good friends, because she knows that."

"But how do you feel?" my dad said warmly.

I twisted my hair, still wet from the rain, in my fingers. How did I feel? That was a loaded question but I was tired of keeping my feelings to myself.

"How do you think I feel?" I said angrily. "This is not what I truly wanted for myself. Dad, you can't begin to understand how sick I am of being the one person everyone lean's on for support. I'm tired of being the good guy that all the girls love but don't want to be with. This sucks!"

"But you're not going to stop being that person."

"I know," I admitted sadly. "I can't. It's in my blood."

"Jacob," my father spoke, sounding more serious than he did when the conversation first started. "Do you love Leah?"

I could feel my face tighten with surprise. "What?"

"Do you love Leah?" he repeated. "I mean, do you really truly love her. Can you see yourself with her...forever?"

"No," I shook my head. "No, I don't love her like that. I mean," I corrected myself. "Leah's great. She really is. And she's a lot of fun, once you get to know her. I care about her a lot and I think," I said the next words really slowly. "I think that in time, I might fall for her in the way you mean. But right now, this moment, no way."

Billy nodded slowly. I followed his gaze to the book that he was reading. It was closed on the sofa, an old tribal book. Nowadays, he was obsessed with them.

"Son," he said. "One day, I think you and Leah may end up together. And truly, I don't think you'll have a choice. I believe that Leah Clearwater might just be your soul mate."

I laughed. I don't even believe in soul mates. And if they did exist, Leah wasn't mine. Sure, I believed we were supposed to be friends. But I don't believe that we're supposed to fall madly in love and spend the rest of our lives together. I'm sure she didn't believe that either.

"Is that what it says in your book, Dad?" I teased.

Billy chuckled. "No, this book doesn't mention Leah. But," he paused. "I think you should read it, Jacob."

"Dad, I'll pass." I didn't read anything for fun. Car manuals and books for school…that was it.

"Really, Jake, read the book," he pushed. "You really need to become more aware of the history of our tribe…your tribe. You're going to be on the council one day. You might as well get started now."

I rolled my eyes and took the book that he was holding out to me. I looked down at it. It wasn't even a real book! It was more like an old journal. There's no way I'm reading this.

"Looks really interesting," I lied as I thumbed through the handwritten pages. "I'll get right on this."

"Jake, I'm serious. Read it. It'll answer a lot of your questions that you've been having lately."

"Sure, sure. Are we done? They're showing re-runs of Prison Break and I really want to get caught up."

"We're done, Jake," he answered with a resigned sigh. I'd won this round. I wouldn't win another. Billy would make sure of that.

Billy sat through a couple of episodes with me. By the time Saturday Night Live was starting, my father was knocked out on the couch. He didn't budge when I picked him up and carried him to his room. After laying him on the bed I wheeled his chair in. He would need it when he woke up.

I went into the kitchen to grab a midnight snack. A soft yellow light caught my attention. Someone was in my garage.

I opened the back door and jogged out to the garage. The rain had changed into a light mist. I stopped in the doorway. Leah was leaned over the hood of the car, installing the fuel pump that she had spent the day reassembling.

As I took in her tight shorts and oversized sweatshirt, I felt paralyzed. I didn't know why. I'd seen Leah naked and continued to breathe just fine. But this was something else. She worked like she didn't even notice me, singing along to the song her iPod was playing.

Her shorts showed off how shapely and muscular her legs were...and long! No wonder she could run so fast. Her hair was loose, falling around her shoulders and face like a dark curtain. Leah was HOT! Leaning over my car like she was, she reminded me of that girl from Dukes of Hazzard, Daisy Duke.

Every word my father had spoken earlier was lost as I walked softly into the garage. Leah didn't look up, even as I stepped behind her, wrapping my arms around her slim waist and pressing myself against her.

I slid her earbuds out of her ear and whispered, "What do you think you're doing?"

She gasped then smiled. "Finishing what I started."

Leah slid out of my arms and shut the hood of the Rabbit. She picked up a rag and wiped the oil off of her hands. Her sweatshirt – which I noticed was mine – and her bare legs were streaked with black dirt and oil too. It made her look even sexier.

"Done!" she announced proudly. "You're welcome."

"You aren't hardly done," I said. The words came out deeper, and way more seductive than I thought I could sound. "Especially if you came over here to finish what you started."

"What are you talking about, Jacob Black?" she said innocently as she stepped closer to me. I reached out and pulled her against me.

"This morning, in my room...at the kitchen table," I reminded her.

She smiled up at me with her cunning and seductive eyes. She slid her hands under my t-shirt and trailed her fingers along my chest.

No wonder Leah was wearing shorts in January. Her hands were hot!

I didn't want to break up the mood but I had to ask.

"Do you have a fever?"

She shook her head. "No. I've just been warmer lately. I think my body is responding to the extra exercise I've been getting," she smirked, "on the track."

I'd noticed the same thing about myself. I wasn't sick but my body temperature was running slightly higher than usual. If Leah was going through the same thing, her assumption was probably correct. I could count on two fingers the times that Leah has actually been wrong about something.

"I think it's me," I whispered as my hands grazed her muscular thighs. "Your body is just reacting to me."

Slowly Leah's eyes roamed my body and finally settled on the growing bulge between my legs.

"Hmmm," she moaned. "I think your body is reacting to me."

I couldn't take any more of her seductive teasing. Leaning down, I crushed my lips against hers, kissing her with a sense of urgency. Leah may not have wanted me as her boyfriend, but she definitely wanted _this. _And right now, that was good enough for me.

Leah moaned against my lips and pressed her body against mine. She hitched one leg up around my waist, grinding her body against my erection**, **impatiently**,** as I continued to kiss her with pent up desire.

I lifted her other leg up and she wrapped it around my waist. I could feel the heat radiating from her center and it increased my need for her. I lowered her onto the hood of my car and began to delicately tease the spot on her neck I had recently discovered with my tongue. It drove her wild. Her hips bucked against me as I slipped my hand under the sweatshirt and kneaded her perfect breasts with my rough hands.

"Oh God, Jake," she whispered. "Don't stop."

I didn't plan to. With my free hand I eased her shorts down until they were at her knees. She wasn't wearing any panties. I took a step back and finished sliding the shorts off, they hit the garage floor almost silently. In one motion, I dropped my pants and boxers.

Leah grabbed my t-shirt roughly and pulled me to her. She wrapped her legs around my waist. Her nails were like razors on my back. I'd never seen Leah this way, so free and desperate. It was a boost to my waning ego that she had to have me.

I brushed my fingers against her slick opening, enjoying how she writhed on the hood of my car, desire pulsating through her...desire for me.

"Jake," she cried out. "Do it."

I thrust myself inside her. Her hands clutched my shoulders, nails digging into my skin through my t-shirt. I gasped at how tight...how wet she was..._for me._

"Leah," I whispered over and over in her ear. Hearing her name always caused Leah to lose the control she liked to have during our encounters.

"Faster, Jacob," she moaned, throwing her head back in pleasure as she ground her pelvis against mine. I sped up, while she grasped at my hair, my shirt...the air, anything she could to keep from screaming in pleasure and waking up our parents.

The axles of the car squeaked as the car rocked back and forth. Leah's legs were tight around my waist, pulling me forward with her developed muscles. We didn't even notice as her iPod went crashing to the ground.

Her moans became increasingly louder and I knew that Leah was near her release.

"Jaaaaa…kk...eeee," she moaned breathlessly. The single word was enough to take me over the edge.

With a final thrust, I let out a guttural growl as I released myself. She panted heavily, warm breaths of air on my neck.

I nodded. I wasn't quite able to talk yet. I eased out of her and slumped to the floor, momentarily weakened. Leah slid off the hood. Before sitting next to me, she slipped on her shorts. I didn't blame her. The floor was dirty. She handed me my jeans and boxers and I slipped them on expertly without getting up off the floor. Then she leaned her head against my damp shoulder.

We sat in silence for a few minutes, listening to the rain. The light mist had turned into a full thunderstorm and we hadn't even noticed.

"What are your plans for tomorrow?" she said, her voice was slightly above a whisper.

"Bella's coming back over so we can go shopping for parts," I managed to say.

"Oh."

"What are your plans?"

"Nothing much," she answered. "I have some homework that I need to finish and I promised Seth I'd take him to the mall."

She picked up her iPod off the floor and examined it.

"I'm so lucky this didn't break. My father said he wasn't buying me another one."

"Then you are lucky."

"I gotta go, Jake," she whispered. "It's late."

I nodded and stood up. I helped her to her feet. Her knees wobbled a bit and we both laughed quietly.

We walked out of the garage to the front of the house. I looked across the street. Her house was dark. I hoped everyone was still sleeping so she didn't get caught trying to sneak back in. My house was dark too but I knew that Billy was down for the night. I could come and go as I pleased and he wouldn't even know I was gone.

The heavy rain soaked us instantly. My t-shirt clung to my body and the thin cotton of Leah's shorts was becoming increasingly darker.

"Go on in the house," I told her. "I don't want you getting sick."

She smiled at my concern then stood on her tiptoes to hug me. I squeezed her back.

"Jake, promise me something," she said softly. I looked down into her eyes. All I saw was worry.

"What?" I asked, concerned about her expression.

"Promise me, that whatever happens with you and...Bella, you'll never leave me. Promise me that you'll always be my friend."

I kissed her forehead gently. "Leah, nothing's going to happen with me and Bella," I assured her. "And I promise, no matter what happens, I'll never leave you. I'll always be your friend."

"Thank you," she sighed and released me from her tight embrace.

"Goodnight, Jacob," she said and took off in a sprint to her house.

I stood watching her for a minute. When I was satisfied that she was safely inside, I turned and walked into my own house.

But her words stayed in my mind. Me and Bella? Did Leah honestly think something was going to happen with me and Bella? Had she noticed something I had not? I didn't think so. But girls are strange. They are more insightful than guys, this much I knew for sure.

As I laid in my bed, I fell asleep thinking about Leah's words and what she could possibly know that I didn't know.

****

"Jacob!" Billy called from the kitchen while I was getting dressed early Sunday morning.

"What?" I yelled back.

"Do you want to go up to Charlie's to watch the game with me and Harry?"

"No," I yelled back as I threw on a gray sweatshirt. "Bella's coming up, remember?"

I heard my dad laugh out loud and mumble something about Bella not being a sports fan. I came out of my room and grabbed a few slices of bacon off the stove.

"Charlie did mention that Bella was on her way. Are you and her working on your car again?" my dad asked as he handed me a plate. He hated when I ate standing up, like I was always in a hurry.

"Most likely," I said with my mouth full. He frowned so I swallowed before I continued to talk. "She doesn't seem to mind sitting out in the garage while I work."

"At least she's getting out of the house," Billy replied. "Nothing wrong with that."

I nodded and piled eggs and more bacon on my plate.

"Is Charlie coming to get you?" I asked after I'd sat down.

"No, I'm riding with Harry." He looked at my plate. "Geez, Jacob. You're going to have to get a job if you keep eating like this."

I stared at my plate of food feeling guilty. Lately, my appetite had grown tremendously but I never stopped to consider how much money my dad must be spending on food. We never had much money. We had the money from my mother's life insurance policy and my dad's disability checks but our income was still rather limited. Rebecca and her husband sent us money when they could and I contributed what I could get from fixing cars and such, but since I started working on my own car, I hadn't taken on any new projects...except the motorcycles and I wasn't getting paid for that.

"Sorry, dad," I apologized. "I'll start looking for a job. Maybe someone will let me work in their auto shop after school."

"No need to apologize," my father insisted. "I was just joking. You don't have to worry about money. We're okay."

I didn't believe him. Even if what he said was true, I had to be more responsible. I made up my mind to bring some more money into the household, especially since there was nothing I could do about the fact that I was growing and hungry all of the time.

After eating I went into my room and grabbed one of the notebooks out of my book bag. I needed to write down the list of parts I needed for the bikes so I wouldn't forget anything. It was raining hard and I didn't want to be searching through the dump in the rain with no idea of what I was looking for.

I had a short list – most of the parts I could fix myself – but the parts I did need weren't cheap. And I still didn't feel right about letting Bella pay for everything. But what other choice did I have? I couldn't afford to fix the bikes right away. And she seemed like she wanted them...right away.

Me, Embry, Quil, and Leah enjoyed going to the dump and searching for parts. It was like going on a treasure hunt. But I bet Bella would hate going down to the dump in the rain. Still, the trip in the rain would be worth it. I was trying to make this as inexpensive as possible for her. I get a discount at the dump since I am there so often.

I heard the loud rumble of Bella's truck and I flew past Billy who was reading**…**again in the living room. I grabbed a huge black umbrella from beside the door and ran outside to the truck.

Bella was sitting in the cab of the truck, taking deep calming breaths. She was probably really wound up after trying to drive up the winding roads with the rain pelting down like it was. Most girls hated driving in the rain. I held the umbrella over her door while she opened it. She looked at me like she wasn't expecting to see me at her truck.

"Charlie called. He said you were on your way," I explained how I knew that she was coming.

A small smile spread across Bella's face. She looked genuinely happy to see me. I was glad to see her smiling again. She hadn't done it often in the last four months. She seemed to be coming around. Maybe being away from Forks helped. She'd probably smile all the time if she had gone to Jacksonville, I couldn't help but think. Still, I was glad that she preferred to be in La Push, with me, than in Jacksonville with her mother.

"Hi, Jacob," she said softly once her feet were planted firmly on the ground.

"Good call on inviting Billy up," I said and held my hand up for a high five. The fewer adults around, the better!

Bella had to reach so high to slap my hand that she almost slipped. I laughed out loud.

"Man, you're short!"

Bella giggled. This time it didn't sound as forced as her laugh was yesterday. Obviously a day makes a lot of difference. She was coming around. Thank God.

We walked into the house and Bella talked to my dad for a few minutes then I took her into my room while we waited for Harry to come pick up my dad.

Bella looked around at the mess in my room and frowned.

"Jake, how do you live like this? Your room is a mess."

"Well, the maid only comes in once a month," I quipped sarcastically. "It's not that bad."

Bella laughed – a real laugh – as she kicked a pair of jeans out of the way.

"You don't have many girls in here, do you?" she teased.

I snickered. "Girls? No, girls don't come in here. You are only the second girl who has ever been in my room, besides my sisters and they don't count."

"Well, if you'd clean up the place, you could have all the girls you want in your room, Jake."

I laughed again. Bella sounded so motherly. Even Billy didn't complain about my room.

I heard Harry's booming voice in the living room and a few minutes later my father yelled goodbye. As soon as the door was closed behind Billy, Bella and I went back into the living room. I grabbed my jacket off the chair.

"So where to, Mr. Goodwrench," she asked.

I pulled the list out of my pocket and looked it over, making sure I hadn't forgotten anything.

"We'll start at the dump first; see if we can get lucky." Bella grimaced. I grinned. "This could get a little expensive," I warned her. "Those bikes are going to need a lot of help before they'll run again."

But she didn't look like she was worried about money. It seemed to have more to do with the possibility of slipping and falling at the dump which was dumb. I wouldn't let her fall.

"Bella, I'm talking about maybe more than a hundred dollars here," I said.

She pulled her checkbook out of the pocket of her rain jacket and fanned herself with it.

"We're covered," she said while rolling her eyes at my concerns over money.

"Okay," I finally said. "If you want to spend your college fund money, that's on you. Charlie's not going to kill me."

"No," she chided as we walked to her truck. "He's going to kill you for going along with my plan to fix the two wheeled death machines."

Bella started to open the driver's side door but I stopped her. It was still raining and she had no idea where we were going.

"I'm driving," I told her.

Her brown eyes flashed with a sudden anger. "It's my truck," she said forcibly. "I'm driving."

"Okay," I said, backing down quickly from her obvious fury. "I just didn't think that you'd want to drive in the rain."

"I believe I can make those kinds of decisions for myself, Jacob," she fired back.

"Bella, I wasn't trying to tell you what to do," I clarified. "It was just a thought. Sorry."

She took a deep breath and calmed down. "No, I'm sorry. It's just that..."

"No need to explain," I said. "Let's go."

Clearly Bella was still feeling the same as she had on Thanksgiving Day when she thought I was trying to tell her what to do. I made a mental note to not do that again. Bella could and would do whatever she wanted, no matter what I thought about it.

I climbed into the truck – on the passenger side – and stared at the gaping hole in her dashboard.

"Did the stereo break?" I asked. When Charlie had let me use Bella's truck, she had a really good stereo in the truck.

"Yeah," she said slowly. She was lying. I could tell.

"Who took it out?" There's a lot of damage..." It looked like the stereo had been ripped out of the truck in anger...or _pain_. It must have been a gift from her boyfriend. No wonder she took it out.

"I did," Bella admitted.

I laughed, imagining the fury that must have been racing through her in order for her to do so much damage to the dashboard.

"Maybe you shouldn't touch the motorcycles too much," I joked.

"No problem." I caught the faint grimace on her face. Bella wasn't completely healed.

The dump was closed when we pulled up. It was still early. But Janice, the lady who ran the dump walked out to the gate with a large yellow umbrella and let us in.

"Hiya, Jake," she greeted me. "What brings you out in this rain?"

"I need some parts for motorcycles."

Janice laughed. "A new project, huh? How's the Rabbit?"

"It's not done yet," I admitted. "But almost."

"Well come on in and help yourself," Janice told us.

Bella pulled the truck slowly through the gate and parked near the main building, the only building on the property. Wheeling's Dump wasn't exactly a dump. It was more like a cemetery for old cars, trucks, motorcycles, and machinery. Cars that the Forks police department impounded or towed after wrecks usually ended up here. The place was a goldmine...my favorite place.

I helped Bella out of the truck. She slipped on the mud before steadying her feet.

"Jake," Janice called from inside the main building. "You can have whatever you find at no charge if you come by the house next weekend and give my truck a tune up."

"Deal!" I called back excitedly. Now I was really on a mission to find as much stuff as I could here, especially since we didn't have to pay for it. I loved Mrs. Wheeling!

I headed straight for the bike section of the large lot. Bella walked slowly behind me, carrying the black umbrella. I ignored the rain and was ankle deep in mud as I climbed over bike parts and such, searching through the treasures for as many parts as I could find.

Bella tried to keep up with me, holding onto whatever parts she could while holding the umbrella. I burst out laughing when she finally threw down the umbrella and joined me in my hunt. She had no idea what I was looking for but she seemed to be enjoying herself as we slipped around in the mud and she shared in my excitement when I found most of what I was looking for.

We stayed at the dump, getting rained on, for about two hours. By the time we made it back to the truck, we were soaked but happy. We loaded the day's finds in the back of the truck – coils, springs, wheel bearings...I even found four really good tires – and started the two hour drive to Hoquiam to my favorite auto parts store.

"There's a bag with some towels in it on the floor," Bella pointed out. "I came prepared."

I quickly toweled my hair dry, as dry as I could get it, and held the steering wheel as Bella dried hers. There was nothing we could do about our soaking wet clothes except turn the heat on full blast, hoping to dry them out a little.

We chattered about school and our friends for most of the drive. Bella asked a lot of questions. I guess my friends were more interesting than hers. I'd met some of her friends before and yes, my friends were more interesting. We certainly got in a lot more mischief than hers.

"So, the other day at school," I told her, about an hour into the drive, "Quil walks up to this girl, really cute girl named Ashley, at her locker and starts flirting with her. Me, Embry, and Jordan had no idea that Quil was that bold so we bet him five bucks each that he wouldn't do it. And then she starts flirting back." I laughed, remembering the look on Jordan's and Embry's faces when Ashley walked down the hall with Quil to her next class. They were mad.

"So you lost the bet?" Bella asked.

"Yeah, but that's not the funny part. Turns out, Quil asked Ashley to the movies. She said she would think about it. At lunch, Quil's telling us this story and acting like he's _the man_ when this big senior dude named Len walks up to our table."

"Who was he?" Bella looked intrigued.

"Turns out, Ashley is Len's girlfriend and he was pissed that Quil asked her out," I answered. "There was about to be a huge fight in the cafeteria."

"But Quil's so _big_," Bella said in awe. "_All_ of you are getting so big. Was this Len guy bigger than Quil?"

"No," I chuckled. "I think that was one of the reasons he backed down."

"Wow," Bella murmured. I wondered what she was thinking. Knowing Bella and her knack for being the responsible one, she probably didn't approve of our behavior. I decided to change the subject.

"Hey, I'm doing all of the talking. Why don't you take a turn? What's going on in Forks? It has to be more exciting than La Push."

"Wrong," Bella sighed. "There's really nothing. Your friends are a lot more interesting than mine." She grinned. "I like your friends. Quil's funny."

That's the last thing I would let Quil know, that Bella thought he was funny. Especially since he had made an announcement to the entire cafeteria at lunch the other day that Charlie Swan's daughter was H-O-T!

"Quil likes you too," I informed Bella. "A lot."

She giggled a little. Bella's laugh was cute, like a baby's laugh. I hadn't heard it often and I really enjoyed it. She was having a good time and that was the plan.

"He's a little young for me."

I frowned. Was that how Bella though of me and my friends...as some young boys? We weren't _that_ much younger than her.

"He's not that much younger than you," I filled her in. "It's just a year and a few months."

"Sure," she countered. Her voice was light...teasing. "But, considering the difference in maturity between guys and girls, don't you have to count that in dog years? What does that make me, about twelve years older?"

I burst out laughing and rolled my eyes.

"Okay, but if you're going to get picky like that," I humored her; "you have to average in size too. You're so small; I'll have to knock ten years off your total."

"Five foot four is perfectly average," she huffed. "It's not my fault you're a freak."

We went back and forth like that for the rest of the drive. By the time we pulled into the parking lot of Checkers I'd calculated that Bella was twenty-three and I was thirty. She lost years on account of the fact that she couldn't even change a tire. But since she managed to do all of the bills and bookkeeping at home, I had to add at least a year. She insisted on it.

We entered the story to rousing cries of welcome by Mark, the owner, and his two brothers. Bella was impressed by the genuine greeting, though I was a bit embarrassed. The fact that Mark, Cory, and Matt knew me by name and were happy to see me only pointed out how much time I _actually_ spent in the store.

"Hey guys," I greeted them back.

"How's the Rabbit?" Matt, the youngest brother, asked.

"It's coming along," I replied. "Just a few more adjustments and she'll be street ready."

"Great! Well, what brings you down here in this weather?"

I pulled the now damp list out of my pocket.

"I need a few things for a project I'm working on."

No need to tell him the complete story. Matt was friends with my dad. I didn't need him bringing up the motorcycles the next time they talked.

"You know where everything is," Matt answered. "Just holler when you're done."

Bella followed me up and down the aisles, quietly, allowing me to concentrate on finding what I needed. And in Checkers, you _really_ had to concentrate. The shelves were packed and cluttered. It was the best!

I found everything that was left on my list and obnoxiously pounded on the bell that was beside the cash register. Cory, the middle brother, was grinning as he came from the back of the store. I could hear the game playing on their small television.

"Just couldn't wait til halftime, huh Jake?" he quipped. I laughed.

"Did you find everything you needed?" Corey asked as he rang up the parts. Bella pulled out her checkbook.

"Sure did."

"Hey Jake, do you think you can get down here sometime this week and look at the starter on my wife's car? She won't let me touch it."

"Sure, sure," I agreed. I never turned down a paying gig. I wasn't crazy.

"And the alternator?" he added.

"Of course."

With my substantial "mechanic's discount" Bella ended up spending only sixty bucks. And I felt great because I could start working on the bikes as soon as we got back home.

It was late afternoon by the time we got back to La Push. I know I did a good job rebuilding the trucks engine, but man was that thing slow. I was glad that Bella had to drive it and not me.

My father was still gone so we didn't have to be sneaky about unloading the parts. Even though my dad barely paid attention to what I was doing in the garage, I'm sure he would have noticed the four motorcycle tires I carried. Bella and I laid everything out on the floor next to my tools. She sat back in the Rabbit while I went to work, examining all of the parts, trying to decide what to do first.

The hours passed quickly as Bella and I talked and laughed. She seemed genuinely interested in getting to know me, though most of the questions she asked, I had told her before, when she was deep in her slump. It bothered me that she didn't remember but there was nothing I could do about that.

I did notice that during our conversation Bella never mentioned Leah. She talked about Quil and Embry, and asked questions about my other friends, just not Leah.

Too soon it was dark outside. I heard Harry's truck pull up, followed by my dad's voice calling for me. Bella hopped out of the car as I started to push certain parts to the side. She hesitated and looked like she wasn't sure if she should touch anything.

"Just leave it," I told her. "I'll work on it later tonight."

"It's Sunday," she replied. "Don't you have school tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

"Well, don't forget about your homework or anything. I don't want you to get in trouble."

"I won't," I promised. "Trust me."

But the mention of school reminded me that I _had not_ done my homework, let alone opened a textbook all weekend. _Oh well_.

"Bella?"

Both of our heads jerked as Charlie's voice called out for his daughter. It sounded closer than my dad's. Charlie was coming to the garage.

"Shoot," Bella muttered. She ran to the door and peeked her head out. "Coming!" she yelled.

I smirked at her obvious terror. Charlie wasn't going to catch us.

"Let's go." I turned off the overhead light and the garage turned pitch black. Even if Charlie did peek in, he wouldn't have been able to see anything.

I grabbed Bella's hand and towed her out of the garage. We ran – and laughed – along the well worn path I'd created from years of walking and dragging objects to the garage.

We both kept tripping and slipping on the grass, making us laugh harder. Bella's laugh was no longer like a baby's. It was shrill with a hint of hysteria. It was the laugh of someone who had experienced severe trauma and was just able to laugh for the first time.

Charlie was standing in the backyard, and my dad was in the doorway as we rounded the corner.

"Hey Dad," we both said at the same time – and cracked up again.

Charlie stared at us, with surprised wide-eyes. I could see that he was thrilled to see and hear his daughter laugh again. Even if she did sound crazy.

"Billy invited us to dinner," Charlie announced.

My dad was staring at me and Bella. His eyes traveled down to my hand still holding Bella's. I released it quickly, wondering why my holding Bella's hand seemed to bother my dad. Oh yeah, he thought _Leah_ was my soul mate.

"My super secret recipe for spaghetti – handed down for generations," my dad said seriously.

"Yeah right," I snorted. "I don't think Ragu's actually been around that long. But at least the old guy's a good cook. He makes a mean meatball."

My dad rolled his eyes and wheeled into the house. He was used to my jokes. We all followed him into the kitchen. I was surprised to see that our little house was so crowded.

The Clearwaters, all four of them, were staying for dinner too. Seth had a million stories for me, mostly about school. I introduced Bella to Seth and Leah. Seth was very polite..._any friend of mine_...but Leah, well, I didn't expect more than a wave or nod of acknowledgement and that's exactly what I got. She was on the phone anyway. She gave Bella a small wave and smile. Then she escaped to my room, chatting away on our cordless phone.

We all couldn't fit into the kitchen so we took chairs into the yard and ate outside off of plastic plates. The rain had let up shortly after me and Bella had gotten back to La Push. The night was cool and breezy. It felt great.

There were a thousand different little conversations going on. It was loud and confusing as everyone tried to out talk everybody else. Harry and Charlie had us in stitches with joke after joke. Theirs was an ongoing, no end in sight battle over who was the funniest. So far, Harry was winning...for now.

Every once in awhile, both Charlie and I would glance over at Bella who was sitting next to me. She seemed to be enjoying herself, although she didn't say much, nor did she start any conversations of her own. I wondered if she was really having a good time or just faking it for Charlie's sake. But I decided that she was probably just a bit intimidated. There's no way she couldn't have been enjoying herself, not with this crowd.

It had been a long time since Bella spent any time here. She would have to get used to us all over again. Charlie, the Clearwaters, me, and my dad...we were like a big family. Bella was the new addition. Of course, it felt strange to her.

"Was that a raindrop or did you just spit in my food, Seth?" Leah ribbed.

No sooner than the words left her mouth, the dark cloudy sky opened up and pelted us with heavy raindrops, putting a quick end to our spur of the moment party.

Sue decided it was too late to continue the party inside, citing homework and school the next day as the excuse. Reluctantly, our guests cleared out and Billy and I were alone once again. I went to my room to start on the weekend homework I knew I wasn't going to get finished. But at least some of it could get done before I called it a night.

The weekend had gone extremely better than I'd imagined. First Bella's visit, then the motorcycles. And I was confident that my presence and the presence of my friends and family were good for Bella.

****

My joy was short lived. In fact, my weekend euphoria came to a screeching halt the next day after school.

Quil, Jordan, and I were sitting in the bleachers watching the girls track team practice. Girls in tiny shorts running...that was definitely something we wanted to see.

"Finish your bear story," I told Jordan. "Quil still thinks that there aren't any giant grizzly bears in the woods."

"There aren't," Quil stated. "You should really stop listening to Leah, Jake. It's not good for you."

"When has Leah been wrong?" I countered.

"No, for real, Quil," Jordan chimed in. "When Rosa and I went up to the hot springs this weekend, we definitely saw something."

"Maybe so," Quil replied, "but it wasn't a giant grizzly bear."

"Okay," I admonished. "Don't believe us. I bet you'll be the first one to get eaten."

Three dark shadows fell across the bleachers, effectively ending our conversation. We looked up. Jared, Paul, and Sam were staring down at us. Instantly my mood shifted to annoyance. What did they want now?

"Quil, Jordan...Jacob," Sam said my name slowly, respectfully. I frowned.

"What?"

"Have either of you seen Embry?" Sam asked but he was looking directly at me.

I focused my eyes on the girls on the track, counting the seconds until he went away.

"Um, no," Jordan answered Sam's question. My hand flew out and punched him in the leg. He yelped but continued to talk.

"He wasn't in school today."

"Why?" I demanded to know. "Why are you asking about Embry? It's none of your business where he is." I kept my eyes on the track, though I could feel Sam's steel gray eyes burning holes into my skin.

"You don't need to worry about that," Jared answered.

I rolled my eyes. "I wasn't asking you. What do y'all want?" I asked Sam.

"We overheard your bear story. I just wanted to assure you that there's no need to worry. There aren't any huge black bears in the forest," Sam told us.

Paul burst out laughing even though there was nothing funny.

"You guys are so lame," Paul howled. "Where would these huge bears come from?"

"Maybe," Quil mumbled. "Maybe you left one of your steroid needles lying around and a bear ate it."

Quil, Jordan, and I burst out laughing. Paul's face exploded with rage. I couldn't tell what made him angrier; Quil's steroid accusation or the fact that we were laughing at him. Either way, it didn't seem to matter as Paul shook with anger. His temper had always been short. It didn't even bother us now. We were use to seeing Paul fly off the handle, even before he started following Sam around like a puppy. We all did stare in amusement while Jared grabbed Paul's arms and Sam stepped in front of him, like he was really a threat.

"Paul," Sam said firmly. "Calm down."

Paul stared at Sam for a moment until his breathing returned to normal and his body stopped shaking. I shook my head and stood up. Quil and Jordan followed suit.

"This has been weird," I said, stepping past Sam and his disciples. "We're outta here."

We walked down the bleachers laughing loudly at the ridiculousness that was Sam and his gang. As I walked away I could feel Sam's eyes watching me. The fact that he was watching me walk away made me uneasy. _What was his deal?_


	15. Chapter 15

_**Sorry for the late posting but I struggled with this chapter alot...not because I didn't know the direction I wanted to go but mainly because I know that the romantic aspect of Jacob and Leah's relationship has to end soon and I'm still not sure if I can do that. I kind of fell in love with them and now he's going to fall in love with Bella and it just doesn't seem right lol. But, I got over the hump and I have something good planned for the next few chapters. Enjoy...JC**_

* * *

**Chapter 15**

For the next couple of days, life on the reservation got more and weirder for me and my friends. Almost every day, like clockwork, Bella pulled her loud monster truck up the drive and if my dad was around, he'd give me a funny look. One day, I actually found the nerve to ask him about the funny looks. It wasn't like we were doing anything – that he knew about. He was under the impression that I was working on my car and she was watching. He had no clue we were working on the bikes. Well, I was working on the bikes. Bella usually sat in the car and watched. Occasional she would hand me tools…after I'd taught her the different between a Philips head screwdriver and a flathead, and the difference between pliers and a wrench. My dad's response to my question was to ask if I had read the book he gave me. I had not and still don't plan on it.

The other two strange things were Sam and Leah. They weren't being weird together. In fact, if they were speaking again, I probably wouldn't have been surprised. They were acting weird…separately.

Sam – minus Jared and Paul – was stalking me. That's the only way I could describe it. It became normal for me to come home from school and find him and my dad sitting in the living room or kitchen talking about who knows what. But as soon as I walked in, they would get quiet, as if I couldn't be in on their secret…all so strange. Sam would always leave as soon as I got there but not before asking me how I was feeling…not doing…feeling. It was even creepier because my father asked me the same question every morning. It made me nervous. Was I supposed to be sick? Because I felt fine.

And Leah…I have no idea what's going on with her. One minute we're the best of friends and the next she acts like she doesn't know me. I caught myself wondering if she really was jealous over Bella's presence on the rez, even though claimed she wasn't. But Leah has never struck me as a jealous girl. She was an angry girl, a vengeful girl…but jealous? I don't think so. Even with the Sam and Emily thing, she didn't get jealous. Hurt…yes. Pissed off…definitely. But not jealous.

Lastly, the oddest thing of all was Embry. He still hadn't come back to school. I was getting worried. He wasn't returning any of our calls. So Quil and I had gone over to his house right after school today. Mrs. Call stopped us before we could get one foot on the porch. She said that Embry was very sick and that she'd tell him we'd been by. Then she basically shooed us away from the house. In my sixteen years, I could never remember a time – sick or not – when I wasn't welcome at Embry's house.

After leaving Embry's house, we went to get pizza. I wasn't ready to go home because I knew that Sam would be there. And I didn't want to discuss my mood with my father with Sam around.

As disturbing as Embry's disappearance and sudden illness was, Quil and I avoided talking about it the entire time we were eating. Obviously there wasn't anything that we could do about it, especially if his mom didn't want us around. Instead we talked about the motorcycles that I was rebuilding for Bella.

By the time we were on our fourth slice of pizza I could tell that this incident was really weighing on Quil.

"Dude, stop thinking about it," I told him.

"I'm trying but things are just getting weirder and weirder every day," Quil complained. "What's up with you and Leah? She hasn't been around much either."

I shrugged. "I don't know. Leah's just being Leah. There's nothing I can do about that. Maybe she met someone and doesn't want to hang out with us anymore. It wouldn't be the first time that she stopped hanging around us."

"Yeah, but this is different," Quil argued. "We were like eleven when she stopped coming around. And why don't you seem upset about her meeting a guy. You and her were super...close."

"It just doesn't bother me," I replied.

"It's because of Bella, isn't it?"

I laughed. "You think Leah isn't coming around that much because of Bella?"

Quil shook his head. "No. I think her meeting a guy doesn't bother you because you like Bella. I mean, why wouldn't you? She's been spending more time with you than ever and she is cute."

This time I shook my head. There was something there between me and Leah, obviously. But Bella...no way.

"Bella's only coming around because she wants the bikes fixed and she's finally getting over that Cullen boy. She likes hanging around us because we make her laugh."

"But she's not hanging around us," Quil countered. "She's with you. Maybe she likes you."

"Instead of you?" I teased. "No way."

"I admit, I'm the better man for her," Quil laughed. "But it's so obvious that she's into you."

"She's not. Like I said, we're just friends."

"If you're just friends, ask her what she would have done if you couldn't fix the bikes. Ask her if she would still be hanging around," Quil suggested. "If she says no, then she's not over her ex and you're right. But if she says yes," he paused. "If she says yes, then...Leah's going to kill you."

I thought about what Quil said all the way back to La Push. It just didn't seem possible that Bella was into me, like Quil suggested. Knowing Bella the way I did, and seeing her go through what she went through when Edward left, there was no way that she could be feeling anything towards me, except friendship. At least, that's what I felt for her. Bella needed a friend and I was it, for some reason.

After Quil dropped me off, I walked slowly up the front porch. Sam was just leaving.

"How are you feeling, Jake?" he asked as he walked past me.

"Jacob," I corrected once again. "And I'm feeling fine. Bye."

I pushed past him and went straight to my room. I grabbed a couple of motorcycle manuals and walked back outside. I decided to skim through the part on how to fix a motorcycle engine while waiting for Bella to show up. Even on the weekends, she still came over. It was our daily routine.

I heard her before I saw her barrel up the driveway.

"Hey Bella!" I called as she cut the engine. I was genuinely happy to see her. Being with Bella, working on our secret project was like a breath of fresh air. When I was in the middle of a project, my mind was only on that. And with Bella I had two projects; fixing the bikes and keeping Bella's mind off of Edward.

Bella got out of the truck, smiling. She waved to my dad who was staring out the window then walked towards the garage.

"Hey Jacob."

"Let's get to work," I said. She grinned at eagerness in my voice.

I was impatient to show her how much progress I'd made on the bikes. The small one – the red one – was almost done. Since it was for her, I spent the majority of the time working on it. The Harley was for me, plus it was in better condition.

"Seriously," Bella laughed. "You aren't sick of me yet?" she asked as we walked into the garage.

"Nope. Not yet."

Bella stopped walking and looked at me, very serious all of a sudden.

"Please let me know when I start getting on your nerves. I don't want to be a pain."

If I could deal with Quil and Embry and their incessant bad jokes, and deal with Leah and her mood swings, Bella's gloomy disposition was nothing.

"Okay," I laughed. "I wouldn't hold your breath for that, though."

With a flourish, I pulled the old plastic tarp off the red bike and proudly displayed my work.

"Ta-daaa!"

"Jake, you're amazing," Bella marveled. "How did you do this? And so quickly?"

"I get obsessive when I have a project."

Bella stared at the bike then at me...for a long time. She was more than amazed...she looked happy. Her stare made me a bit uncomfortable. But she was happy and that was all that mattered. The smile on her face actually made its way all the way up to her eyes. I didn't want it to go away. And if fixing these bikes could make her smile like that...well, I didn't want the project to ever end.

"If I had any brains," I spoke softly, "I'd drag this out a little bit."

"Why?" Bella asked.

Her question t made me think about what Quil said. I wondered if I straight out asked her, what Bella would say. I decided to see.

"Bella, if I told you that I couldn't fix these bikes, what would you say?"

I looked down at the floor, not wanting to see her face when she answered because I knew it was a ridiculous question.

She didn't answer right away. My stomach churned. I was praying that Quil was wrong; that her feelings for me weren't the reason for her silence.

"Jake," she finally spoke after what seemed like an hour. "If you said you couldn't fix the two things that are going to get us in a world of trouble if we get caught..." she laughed a little. "If you said that, I would say...that's too bad, but I'll bet we could figure out something else to do. If we got really desperate, we could even do homework."

I looked her and grinned. Her answer wasn't quite the answer I was waiting to hear; the answer that would have proven either me or Quil right. But at least she was still smiling and didn't seem to be uncomfortable answering my question.

I sat down next to the red bike while Bella sat on what used to be Leah's crate. She handed me a wrench without even me asking. She was catching on!

"So, you think you'll still come over when I'm done, then?" I wanted to know. It was fun having her around.

"Is that what you meant?" she shook her head. "I guess I am taking advantage of your very underpriced mechanical skills. But as long as you let me come over, I'll be here."

"Hoping to see Quil again?" I teased.

This time she laughed wholeheartedly. "You caught me."

"Let me ask you something, straight up," I said. "You really like spending time with me? You're not just using me to get your bikes fixed? We're friends, right?"

Bella grimaced then smiled. "Of course we're friends, Jake. I honestly like spending time with you. Very, very much. And I'll prove it. I have to work tomorrow, but Wednesday, we'll do something nonmechanical."

"Like what?" I asked.

"I have no idea," she shrugged. "We can go to my place so you won't be tempted to be obsessive. You could bring your school work. You have to be getting behind, because I know I am."

Was Bella physic? I had fallen behind in my studies, but not just because of the bikes. I was bored with it all...the routine of school, homework. Plus without Leah around to assist me and Quil with the hard stuff, we simply didn't do it. However, my father was starting to notice that I wasn't studying as much as I used to. I was even afraid that one day I'd come home and Mr. Call would have called him.

"Homework might be a good idea," I reluctantly agreed.

"Yes. We'll have to start being responsible or Billy and Charlie aren't going to let us keep hanging out."

"Alright. Homework once a week?" I proposed.

Bella shook her head. "Maybe we'd better go with twice."

I sighed. Homework was so boring. How was I supposed to concentrate on Algebra when I have two motorcycles and my car to finish? But at least Quil wasn't right. That was something to celebrate.

I reached over my toolbox and pulled two cans of soda out of the grocery bag I was hiding. Leah and Quil were the worst when it came to invading my secret stash. I was surprised there were even sodas left. I cracked one can open and handed it to Bella, and then I opened the second and held it up.

"Here's to responsibility," I toasted. "Twice a week."

"And recklessness every day in between," Bella added with a mischievous grin.

****

Bella and I stayed in the garage for a few more hours then she had to leave to go fix dinner. I wasn't thrilled that she had to go. She had lightened my mood significantly. Now that she was gone I could feel the anxiety I'd been feeling for the past few days begin to creep back up.

There wasn't anything I could do about Embry. I knew that. As far as I knew, he really was sick. I'd give him a few days then I'd go back over to his house and see what's going on. I've been Embry's best friend since we were born. We didn't keep secrets from each other and we knew how to handle any differences that we have. I'm confident that this is nothing. But I couldn't escape feeling like everything was about to change and there wasn't a thing that I'd be able to do about it.

"Jacob!" I heard Leah calling from the backyard. I sat down the engine part I was working on and jogged outside.

"Hey!" I greeted her. "What are you doing here?"

Her car was running in the driveway. She wasn't staying long.

"I need to borrow your oil pan and filter wrench. I need to change my oil."

"I'll do it," I volunteered. "Pull your car back here."

"I can do it," Leah insisted. "I don't need you to fix my car for me. Don't confuse me with Bella."

"I wasn't," I frowned. I was offended that she would even think that. If anyone knew that Leah could change her own oil, it was me.

"Why would you even say that?"

Leah looked off into the woods and shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. I'll go get the car."

She turned and sprinted to her car. She pulled it into the backyard while I dragged a pair of metal ramps out of the garage. My dad watched fro the doorway with a frown on his face. He didn't like when I worked on the cars in the yard but it couldn't be helped. My car and the bikes were taking up all of the space.

While Leah positioned the car on the ramps I grabbed my tools and her crate from the garage. She sat close to the car while I slid underneath it, perfect distance for handing me the tools I needed.

"So, you haven't been over in a while."

"I've been busy after school," Leah answered. "You know, I have track practice every day. Besides, isn't Bella keeping you company?"

"So," I replied. "It's not like you can't come over when she's here. Quil does all the time."

"I'll pass," she muttered.

I let it go. I could tell that Leah was in one of her moods. Plus I wasn't in the greatest of moods to be arguing with her about Bella. I don't understand her irritation with Bella. It's not like Bella is the only girl I've ever hung out with. I eat lunch with a table full of girls and boys. Leah isn't the only girl I know or am friends with.

"Anyway," I said, changing the subject to something a little more pleasant. "Corey Checker paid me for fixing his wife's alternator. What color are we wearing to the Sweethearts Dance so I can buy a suit?" I asked.

I fumbled around trying to unscrew the oil plug while waiting for Leah to answer. When she didn't, I slid out from under the car.

"Did you hear what I said?" I asked and grabbed the oil pan. Too many times, I've unscrewed the oil plug all the way without the pan. Me covered in oil and black oil all over the ground wasn't a good look.

"Umm," she hesitated. "Um, Jake, we're not going to the dance."

"What?" I was genuinely surprised. At school, all the girls were excited about our school's first dance. Leah had joined in on the many conversations too. I wondered what had changed.

Not that I really wanted to go. Dancing wasn't really my thing but I was willing to take Leah.

"We're not going to the dance," Leah repeated slowly.

I put the pan in place and slid out from under the car again. While the oil drained, I watched Leah nervously picking at her fingernails.

"What do you mean, we're not going?" I demanded. "Who are you going with?"

"Does it matter," Leah asked straightforwardly. She'd stopped picking her nails when I asked my question and stared at me. I couldn't read the expression in her eyes.

"Yes, it matters," I told her. "Why wouldn't it matter?"

I didn't realize that I was yelling until Leah stood up and started yelling back.

"I don't understand you, Jake! Why are you making a big deal about a stupid dance? You're not going to be here anyway. Forks' Sweetheart Dance is the same day as ours!"

"What does that have to do with anything?" I yelled back.

"Aren't you going to take your friend Bella?" she snapped.

I laughed, only making her madder but I couldn't help it. The thought of Bella at a dance was hilarious.

"No. I'm taking you to the dance, at least that's what I thought the plan was."

Leah turned around and looked towards the woods again. "Well, either way," she huffed. "We're not going."

"Why not?"

"Because..." the word hung in the air.

"Damn it, Leah, if you met some other guy and want to go to the dance with him, just say so!" I yelled.

"Just finish the damn car, Jake. I don't want to talk about this now."

"I'm not finishing anything," I stood with my arms crossed against my chest, waiting for Leah to turn around and look at me. She did turn around and pushed me out of the way.

"Fine, I'll finish it. And for your information, I didn't meet anyone else. I don't want to go to the dance with you or anyone else. I'm not in a very sweetheart mood, Jacob." She grabbed the oil filter and slid under the car.

"I said, I'll finish it," she spat from underneath the car. "Don't stand there watching me. Go find something else to do. Call Bella or something."

"Whatever," I mumbled and walked into the house. I slammed the back door so hard that the windows shook.

"What's wrong, Jake?" my father said but I didn't answer. I went into my room and slammed that door too. Everyone on the rez was losing their freakin minds and I refuse to be a part of it!

An hour later, while I was dozing on my bed, I heard my bedroom door open. I smelled Leah before I even opened my eyes. She'd obviously taken a shower and washed her hair because the scent of lavender and honey was strong.

"Jacob?" she whispered.

"What?" I answered and rolled over deliberately not facing her.

"Are you still mad?"

"It's a waste of time to be mad at the mentally ill. Crazy people don't know they're crazy."

She giggled and sat on my bed. "I guess I deserved that."

"What do you want, Leah?" I asked, sitting up.

"Things are changing," she said softly.

"So?"

"I'm sorry for making you upset, Jacob." Leah fiddled with my blanket. Apologizing wasn't something that she did willingly. It was hard for her.

"You piss me off all the time," I told her. "Why are you apologizing for it now?"

"Yeah but this time it's different," she chuckled. "This time, I didn't mean to. But you have to know, Jake, that this is difficult for me."

"What is difficult for you?"

Leah sighed and covered her face with her hands. Usually I would comfort her, tell her everything is going to be okay and what not. Tonight, I didn't feel like it. I was tired of the drama.

"Seeing you with Bella..."

"This is about Bella?" I scoffed. "What about Bella?"

"Okay," Leah's voice was muffled as she held the blanket against her face. "I'm a little jealous that you're spending so much time with her. It's hard for me to see you with her because I know you like her...and I know it's completely selfish of me to feel like this but..."

"Whoa!" I put my hand on Leah's shoulder to stop her rambling. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"You and Bella," she said, as if it wasn't obvious enough.

"That's not what I mean," I said. "Nothing is going on with me and Bella for you to be jealous of. If it was, you'd be the first to know. Just like I hope I'd be the first to know if you were into some other guy. Geez, Leah, you're driving yourself nuts over nothing."

Her eyes widened. "Really?"

"Yes. But that's not the reason I'm pissed," I advised her.

"What?"

I sighed. Something has been eating at me about Leah and I hadn't wanted to say anything but I had to.

"Bella..." I started and paused. "Bella," I started again, "is a lot different than you. She needs me just like you did. She's just doing what you did at first. Using me to get over her boyfriend, trying to disguise it as friendship. I know this, she knows this...you know this. What pisses me off is that you feel like you have a right to be mad at her. Sure, we have a little something more going on now, but in the beginning, you did the same thing. So don't get all girly and pissy at me for doing for her what I did for you."

"I'm not going to stop being friends with her just because you're jealous. Because you have no right to be jealous. You don't want me, remember? Those are your words, not mine."

"I know what I said," Leah snapped. "But that doesn't mean-"

"That doesn't give you the right to be mad at me for being friends with someone else. That doesn't give you the right to punish me by not coming around, by not speaking to me," I fired back.

"Look," Leah said angrily. "I didn't come over here to argue with you."

"Then leave," I said and immediately regretted it.

"What? You're kicking me out?" Leah asked painfully.

I shook my head. "No but you need to listen to what I'm saying. If you're not going to listen, then yes, leave."

"Fine!"

Leah hopped off the bed and stormed out of the bedroom. I scooted off the bed and followed her.

She passed my father in the living room first. When I stepped into the room he looked at me with a confused expression. I didn't know what to tell him. I didn't have a clue as to what was really taking place.

"Leah, stop," I called when we got outside. To my utter surprise, she stopped in the middle of the yard.

"Oh God," she cried. "When did I become such a girl?"

"What are you talking about now?" This infectious form of crazy that was spreading throughout my friends was getting on my nerves.

"I've never been this super emotional girl who runs away from people. When did this start?"

"I don't know," I shrugged. "But you need to quit running from me. First, you can't outrun me and second, you know what I'm saying is true. Just accept it."

"First, I can outrun you. And second, fine, I'll accept it. I'm not going to lose what I have with you over something as trivial as who your friends are."

I grinned. "If that's the case, then with friends like Quil and Embry, you should never want to be my friend."

We both laughed. It was refreshing and normal. That's all I wanted...things to get back to normal.

"Come back in the house, Weepy," I teased. "Since you want to be all girly now, you can help me with dinner."

"Sure, sure," she mocked.

We started walking towards the house. I saw a shadow in the trees. It looked like a person. I dropped Leah's hand and started walking towards the shadow to investigate. The only people who roamed around the rez at night were Sam and his disciples. They didn't have a reason to be by my house.

"Jake," Leah hissed. "What are you doing?"

"Go in the house," I ordered as I walked towards the shadowy figure.

"Who is that?" I yelled.

The figure shifted then stepped out of the shadows of the trees. It was Embry. But not the Embry that I was expecting. It had been a few days but I never thought I'd see my friend looking so different. The most noticeable change was his hair. Like Quil, he'd gone and cut it all off. And Embry was big! Much bigger than he was a week ago.

"Jake," he said slowly. "It's me."

"What the hell happened to you?" I asked stepping closer to get a better look. No growth spurt could make a boy look like a bodybuilder in a week. There's no way.

Embry held up his hand, stopping me from coming closer.

"Stay back, Jake." His voice was deeper too. But there was something else there. He sounded older too. And sad.

"What the hell's going on, Em?" I asked.

He looked down at the ground. "You should ask your friend," he mumbled.

"What friend? You're my friend. I'm asking you."

"I can't say. I just," he paused, like he heard something that I didn't. I looked around. I didn't see anything either.

"I just came by to let you know, I'm okay. But it's going to be awhile before I can hang out with you and Quil again."

"Why?"

"I can't really say." I could see the struggle in Embry's eyes. He wanted to tell me. "Look, I'm fine. Just wait awhile and you'll understand what I'm talking about."

"Not you too," I moaned. "Don't start with the 'wait and see' bullshit too, Em. Tell me now."

Embry just shook his head. I gave up.

"Fine, so you won't be hanging out with me and Quil. At least you're not dying."

Embry mumbled something that I couldn't make out. Then he looked at me.

"I'll see you around, Jake," he said. Before I could answer, Embry disappeared into the trees, leaving me feeling even more confused. Embry had never been extremely fast or agile. But he moved so fast and easily through the trees, I was amazed. What the hell had happened to him?

****

I spent the next couple of days off the res, in Forks with Bella after school. I couldn't take any more weirdness. It was seriously disturbing my psyche. Charlie didn't seem the least bit surprised to see that we'd moved our "sessions" from my house to his. In fact, I think he was grateful. Bella wasn't a hundred percent yet and I don't think he liked her out of his site too much.

When I wasn't over Bella's, I spent time with Leah and Quil in the garage, carefully avoiding my house until Billy went to bed. It was exhausting. But something strange was going on and after seeing Embry, I felt like I had to surround myself with people I trusted and right now, Billy Black wasn't one of those people. My father knew something that he wasn't telling me.

Saturday morning, Quil and Leah were in the garage with me. They were putting the finishing touches on the two bikes that were now finished. I couldn't wait to tell Bella but first I had to finish my car.

"Hey, wanna hear something strange?" Quil spoke up.

"What?" Leah said, always down for strange.

"I saw Embry the other day. And he was hanging with Sam, Jared, and Paul. It looks like La Push gang has a new member."

"What?" Leah cried. "Are you serious?"

Quil nodded and my stomach churned.

"How is that possible?" Leah muttered. "I think, out of all of us, Embry hated Sam more than any of us. Even me. Now he's a part of his gang?"

"It's a cult," I stated. "There's no other reason. He's been brainwashed."

"A cult?" Quil questioned doubtfully. "A cult on an Indian reservation. Seriously, Jake, you and Leah are way too into horror movies. It's gotta be something else."

"What do you think it is?" I asked. "Have you talked to Embry?" Quil shook his head.

"Well, I have," I continued. "And believe me, when I say he's been brainwashed, he has."

"Well what do we do? We have to tell someone?" Leah slouched on her crate, looking defeated. She knew like I knew that there wasn't anything we could do. Or anyone we could talk to. What adult would believe us?

"I don't think that there's anything we can do," I practically whispered. "The Elders believe that Sam is the greatest thing ever. They won't believe us. The only thing we can do is try to get him away from Sam."

"What about Paul and Jared?" Quil asked.

I shrugged. "I don't know if they can be helped. Besides, Embry is our friend, not them. We focus on Embry."

Leah and Quil nodded and looked at me, ready for me to come up with a plan that they would follow. Leah stood up and wiped her hands on a towel.

"I gotta go," she announced. "Dad's fishing with Charlie and I told Mom I'd help her clean out the attic. I'll see you guys later."

"I gotta go too," Quil said but he didn't give an explanation. He followed Leah out the garage and I was left alone to think of a master plan to save my friend.

I spent the next couple of hours in the garage finishing the bikes and thinking about my friends. Everyone was going through something strange, except me and Quil. Bella...Leah...Embry. However, I not a superhero. I can't solve everyone's problems. I'm just Jacob Black, a sixteen year old kid, and all I really wanted to do was get back to having fun like I was a few months ago.

Determined not to dwell on situations I had no control over, I pushed all the strange feelings and occurrences to the back of my mind while I was over Bella's. We were supposed to be studying. We did a few homework assignments but mostly we talked. Bella seemed really interested in getting to know me and I was more than happy to keep the conversation flowing. Every time I answered a question, I could see the essence of Bella returning.

"Tell me about your sisters," Bella said as she browned ground beef for the lasagna she was going to try and cook.

I wrinkled my brow. "What do you want to know?"

"I barely remember them. What are they like?"

"Umm, irritating," I laughed. "Rebecca is the worst. Now that she's married and living in Hawaii, she acts like she's the smart one."

"And Rachel?"

"Rachel's cool, for a sister," I answered. "She's in college. What I really like is the arguments she and Rebecca have. I love when Rebecca tries to tell Rachel what to do and Rachel calls her 'Susie Homemaker'. It's hilarious."

"I've always wondered what it would have been like to have a sister or brother," Bella said softly. She stood stiffly at the stove and crossed her arms across her chest tightly, as if she was trying to hold herself together. She sighed loudly.

I wondered about the sudden change in attitude but before I could ask, she dropped her arms and continued to stir the meat.

"Hey," I cracked, "we can trade. You can have my sisters and I'll take Charlie any day."

"You just want Charlie because he's hardly ever home and you can hog the flat screen." Bella smiled a little but it was strained.

She was thinking about something or someone, that much I could tell and it was really painful for her. But as much as it hurt, she had to talk about it.

"Bella," I said carefully, "you know if you ever want to talk about anything, you can talk to me. Whatever you say will stay between me and you, okay?"

"Jake, I really don't want to talk about it," she replied with her back towards me. "It's too hard to even think about. It's just that..." she turned around and I could see tears starting to well up in her eyes.

"It's just that," she started again. "They were like my family. And they left...all of them. Alice was the closet thing to a sister that I've ever had. I really miss her."

It all was starting to make sense. It wasn't just Edward. It was all of the Cullens. They made a horrible mistake when they left here. But Bella couldn't continue to dwell on that, on them.

"Like I said," I said, making sure to keep my voice light. "You can have my sisters. I'll even throw in Leah for good measure. And it would make me really happy if you taught all of them how to cook."

There was something about what I said that brought a genuine smile to Bella's face, one that reached her eyes.

"I'm sure they would give you up in a heartbeat too," she teased. "And since you seem to enjoy my cooking, do I get any extra years for being a good cook?"

"Okay," I caved. "I'll add another year for being a good cook, but I'm still older than you."

"Thanks. Now you go finish your homework while I finish this."

"Hey, you're not old enough to be ordering me around like a mother. I'm going to watch the Monster Garage marathon."

By the time Charlie made it home from fishing, Bella and I had eaten and cleaned up the kitchen. I grudgingly added another year to her age because the lasagna was so good.

"I probably ought to go," I sighed. "It's later than I thought."

We both turned our heads. It was getting dark outside. We hadn't even noticed the time.

"Okay, fine," Bella grumbled and I laughed. "I'll take you home."

I gathered up my books, said goodbye to Charlie, and met Bella in her truck. As soon as we were away from the house Bella brought up the question I'd managed to avoid all day...the motorcycles.

"Tomorrow, back to work," she said. "What time do you want me to come up?"

I smiled, unable to contain my excitement of the bikes finally being done. But it was supposed to be a surprise and I didn't want to ruin it.

"I'll call you first, okay?"

Bella frowned and I smiled harder. She didn't like surprises but oh well, she'd love this one.

"Sure." she said it more like a question.

"Don't get all nervous," I said playfully. "I'll call you. There's just something I have to do."

The ride to my house was relatively short, even in Bella's truck. She pulled the truck grudgingly into the driveway. I opened the door when she finally pulled to a stop.

"You better call me, Jacob Black," she warned.

"Sure, sure. I'll call you. Be safe," I said. "Don't let any snails beat you home."

"Funny," she said sarcastically but smiled nonetheless and pulled off.

I started walking towards the house when I heard someone call my name. I turned around. Quil, Seth, and Leah were running up my driveway. Leah was crying.

"What happened," I asked as I ran towards her. "What's wrong?"

"It's Emily," Leah cried. "We have to go to the hospital."

"What happened to Emily?"

"She got mauled while she and Sam were hiking up to the springs," Quil answered.

"Mauled? Mauled by what?"

"A bear," Leah cried. "Come on, we're going to the hospital."

The three of us piled into Leah's car and sped to the hospital. I drove. Leah and Seth were in the backseat. During the ride, Quil filled me in on all of the details. Leah could barely talk, she was so upset. And she blamed Sam, rightfully of course. What kind of man lets his woman get practically killed by a bear?

"Sam came to tell Harry what happened," Quil whispered to me. "And when Leah started yelling at him, Embry and Paul jumped to his defense. They kept telling harry that it wasn't Sam's fault and he didn't mean for it to happen."

"Where is Sam now?"

"I don't know," Quil shrugged. "He went running off into the woods. He's really messed up over it, though. I've never seen him so upset before."

"What did Harry say? I mean, Emily is his niece."

"He believed Sam. He kept telling Sam that everything would be okay. He and Sue are on their way to the hospital too. They got Billy and were heading to my house to get my dad and grandfather."

How could Harry side with Sam when his niece was in the hospital. Sam should have been the one in the hospital. If it was me, Sam would be dead. If he was stupid enough to take Emily hiking when everyone was talking about bears in woods, he should have been prepared to protect her.

We beat the Clearwaters to the small hospital on the reservation. I looked around the parking lot and didn't see Sam's car anywhere. Coward. A nurse directed us to Emily's room. When we walked in, we all stopped in our tracks.

Emily was hurt badly. Her face was wrapped entirely in bandages. Only her eyes and lips were uncovered. Bandages covered her right arm as well.

"Oh God, Emily," Leah whispered and walked over to the bed.

Emily slowly opened her eyes. "Hi guys," she said groggily. I was pretty sure she was doped up on painkillers.

"Oh, Em, I'm so sorry," Leah cried.

Beside me, I felt Seth quivering. He looked like he was about to cry. I put my hand on his shoulder to calm him. But I understood what he was feeling. Seeing Emily, who was so pretty it was insane; lying on the bed, wrapped in gauze was heartbreaking.

"I'm okay, Leah...Seth," Emily whispered. "I'll be fine."

"I can't believe he let this happen to you," Leah muttered angrily. Emily patted Leah's leg with her left hand, the one not wrapped in gauze.

"This wasn't his fault," Emily assured her younger cousin. "Don't blame Sam. He didn't mean for this to happen."

"But you're hurt," Seth cried. "And he let it happen!"

"You guys," Emily said calmly. "Please don't blame Sam. I'm sure he's doing enough of that already. This was an accident. And I'm going to be fine."

"But you could have died!" Leah argued. "That bear could have killed you!"

"But I'm not dead," Emily answered. "Sure, it hurts and I'll have some scars but I'm not dead."

Emily's words did nothing to comfort her cousins as they both sat on the bed next to her and wept. I looked at Quil and I could see that he was just as uncomfortable as I was witnessing this family moment. We slowly started to back out of the room but Emily motioned for us to stop.

"Leah, can you go to the nurses' station and get me some water, please?"

Leah nodded and stood up. "I'll be right back."

"Seth, honey," Emily said. "Can you and Quil go see if my aunt and uncle are here? I need to talk to Jacob, alone for a second."

Quil looked at me, more confused than I was. But he and Seth left the room and I was alone with Emily.

"Jake," she said, after the door closed behind Quil. "Come over here, please."

Unsure, I crossed the small hospital room and stood next to the bed.

"My goodness, you're tall," Emily gasped. "Can you sit down, please?"

I sat.

"I know that you and Sam aren't the best of friends," she began. "But please understand, this wasn't his fault."

"Emily, why are you telling me this?" I asked. "Seeing you like this only makes me not like him even more."

"I know," she sighed. "But please..."

"I don't think I can do that."

"Okay," she said. "But you'll understand soon."

"Please, not you too," I pleaded. "Don't start with that."

"It's true, Jacob," she insisted. "I know you don't think so now, but you will."

"Sure, sure," I said sarcastically. "Is there anything else?"

She nodded despite how painful it must have been for her to move her head.

"What?"

"You and Leah...you're close, right?"

I nodded.

"Can you just keep an eye on her? Comfort her. I know that she's hurting over this and the fact that me and Sam are together now. Please, just take care of my cousin. She loves you, Jake."

"She what?" I stammered. "Did you just say Leah was in love with me?"

"No, that's not what I meant," Emily clarified. "She's not in love with you, at least I don't think so, from what she's told me.

"Leah talks to you?" I replied, completely taken back. "About me?"

"We've talked...about you and her. She's told me...things. I just need you to be there for her. She's afraid that you're going to leave her alone."

"I'm not going to leave her," I promised. "She's my best friend."

"Thank you," Emily whispered.

Just then, Leah walked back into the room, carrying a Styrofoam cup of ice water. She looked at me, wondering what was going on. I shrugged and mouthed 'tell you later'. She sat on the edge of Emily's bed and put the cup to Emily's mouth so she could sip out of the straw.

"Umm, Jake, my parents are here," she said. "You and Quil can take my car, if you don't want to stay. I'm going to stay with Emily tonight."

"Okay," I answered and stood up. "I'll go find Quil."

I didn't have to look far. As soon as I walked out of the room I saw Quil, Seth, the Clearwaters, my father, and both of the elder Atera's. Sam, Paul, Embry, and Jared were behind them. All of them were looking at me expectantly, especially my father.

"Leah's gonna stay with Emily," I said only to Quil. "Let's go."

We walked right past the group. I felt Sam's hot hand brush my shoulder.

"Jake, wait," he said, but I ignored him and kept walking. No matter what Emily said, this was all his fault. There was nothing anyone could say to convince me otherwise. And I could tell by the looks on their faces, that everyone there, with the exception of Seth and Quil, were going to do their best to convince me that it wasn't his fault. I left before that could happen.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

I woke up Saturday morning groggy and confused. I didn't sleep well at all. The image of Emily in the woods being mauled by a giant black bear plagued my nightmares. It didn't help that Leah was sleeping next to me and apparently was having a similar nightmare.

Last night I was actually sleeping well when I heard Leah's soft tap against my bedroom window. The first thing I did was look at my alarm clock. The bright blue numbers read 2:30a.m. _What was she doing here?_

I opened the window – the cool air felt so good against my warm skin. Without hesitating, Leah effortlessly climbed through and sat on my bed.

"What are you doing here?" I had asked.

"Can't sleep," was her response, as if that was enough of an explanation. That was the last thing she said for the rest of the night. She slid her earbuds in her ears, turned on her iPod, and snuggled close to me on the bed.

I left the window open as we lied together. The heat of both of our bodies was overwhelming. Eventually I drifted off into my own restless sleep.

But that was last night and I wanted to push it far to the back of my mind. The sky was overcast – as usual – but it was warmer outside than it had been in months. I immediately knew that I wanted to spend the day outside, away from the house and away from last night's drama.

I slipped out of the bed without disturbing Leah – a difficult feat in a twin bed but she didn't stir. I went into the kitchen and fixed a bowl of cereal. I heard my dad awake in his room. Once again he had gotten himself into his chair without my help. He was watching his tiny television set. He smiled at me and my extra large bowl of cereal.

"Good morning."

"Morning, Dad."

"Rough night?" he guessed, judging by my wrinkled t-shirt and the still tired look in my eyes. I nodded.

"How's Leah?" he asked.

The expression on his face suggested that he knew that Leah was in my room, although I don't know how he could have possibly know. After all, she climbed through my window. She hadn't made a single noise that he could have heard. But I was through trying to figure out if my dad was really psychic. At this point I didn't care one way or another about keeping anything pertaining to me and Leah from him. It was useless. He _always _knew anyway.

"She's okay, I guess. She's asleep."

"And you?" he asked. "Are you okay?"

I shrugged. I wasn't interested in talking about _me._ I was determined not to dwell on last night, and I wasn't ready to confront my dad about why the Council wasn't mad at Sam. But for someone who called himself a "protector", he sure hadn't protected his own girlfriend very well.

"I'm fine, Dad," I finally answered.

"Is there something you want to talk to me about, Jacob?"

I shook my head. "Not now."

Before he could answer, I noticed a shadow in the hallway. Leah was awake. I excused myself and stepped out of my father's room, shutting the door behind me. Leah was in the kitchen staring out of the window. She didn't look much better than she had in the hospital. Her uncombed hair was pulled back into a tangled ponytail. But it was her eyes that disturbed me the most. Even in her deepest depression Leah's eyes had never looked so sad. Plus she looked scared. I didn't like it.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

She looked up at me and her eyes filled with tears.

"Last night, before I came here…I talked to Emily about Sam. She's not mad at him at all. She kept saying it wasn't his fault. And she doesn't want me to be mad at him either…over anything. It's so strange, Jake."

"Yeah," I had to agree. "But why are you crying?"

"I don't know," was Leah's tearful reply. "I just feel so bad for my cousin. When we were talking about Sam, I didn't realize how much she truly loves him. And I can't be mad at them for falling in love, can I?"

"How am I supposed to know?" I said. "That's a chick thing. They did hurt you so I guess you have a right to be mad at that."

"Yeah, but is that really fair?" Leah questioned. "You can't help who you fall in love with. Plus that's my cousin. I miss her."

I understood that part. Before Sam ruined their relationship, Leah and Emily were really close, like sisters. Leah said they used to do _everything_ together. I knew they were practically inseparable. If you saw one, then nine times out of ten, the other was close by. I'm sure Leah missed hanging out with her cousin. Hanging out with me and my friends wasn't enough. With us, she was just one of the guys. She really couldn't be a girl with us…except with me. I hoped that after their talk, Emily and Leah could work things out…if that's what Leah wanted.

She stood up and straightened her wrinkled t-shirt.

"Are you leaving?"

She nodded. "Yeah. Seth's been texting me all morning. I better get home before my parents think I ran away."

"Do you want me to come over later?" I didn't want to intrude in case she wanted to be alone, but she didn't look like she needed to be alone.

"No Jake," she smiled and shook her head. "I'm okay…really. I think I'll go see Emily again."

"Are you sure?" she didn't sound sure.

"Yes, I'm a 1000% sure."

Leah wrapped her arms around my neck and hugged me tightly. For a moment I didn't want to let her go. She always felt so damn good in my arms, like we were made for each other. _Why couldn't she see that?_

Too soon Leah pulled away and left. I showered and dressed in a pair of old jeans and a t-shirt. After I finished I slipped my phone in my pants pocket and went out to the garage. Both motorcycles were standing up and looked good and shiny, thanks to Quil and Leah.

I was proud of my accomplishment. It was a lot of work to practically rebuild two motorcycles. I'd never done that before. And now I'd finally get to reap the benefits of my hard work. I pulled out my phone and dialed Bella's number. She answered on the third ring.

"Hello?" she said breathlessly. I wondered what she had been doing. She didn't sound like she was in pain so she couldn't have been running.

"Bella," I said in my best formal voice.

"Hey Jake."

"I believe that we have a _date_," I said dramatically, hoping that she would understand. After all she was the one who said that when the bikes were done we'd "make a date out of it".

"They're done?" she asked, catching on quickly. "I can't believe it!"

"Yeah," I told her. "They run and everything."

"Jacob," Bella gushed, "you are absolutely, without a doubt, the most talented and wonderful person I know. You get ten years for this one."

That put me over forty.

"Cool!" I laughed. "I'm middle aged!"

Bella giggled too. "I'm on my way," she said excitedly.

I hung up the phone. Bike riding with Bella was just the distraction I needed. I knew just the place to go. It was far enough away that Charlie would never catch us.

While I waited for Bella, I wheeled the bikes out of the garage and parked them under a huge spruce tree. They were mostly hidden by some shrubs. I was being extra cautious for Bella's sake. My dad wouldn't have cared too much about the bikes if it was just me and my friends riding or even if it was me and Leah. Bella had never ridden before. This plan could be very dangerous if we weren't careful.

Just when I was putting the phone back on the charger, Bella pulled into the driveway. She must have spotted the bikes because she pulled her truck off to the side of the house, close to where I'd hidden them. My dad was watching a movie and not really paying attention to what was going on. But he did hear Bella's truck.

"Don't stay out too late, Jake!" he called as I ran out of the house.

Bella was staring at the bikes, eyeing the blue ribbons I'd tied around the handlebars of each bike..._our birthday presents_.

"What's this?" she laughed.

"Birthday presents," I stated. "Happy belated."

She grinned and her deep brown eyes were anxious.

"Ready?" I asked. I was eager to get on the bikes and ride. Even though I still had to teach Bella, the adrenaline was already racing through my body. Even when Bella's grin started to fade when she realized that this was real; that she was actually going to have to _ride_ the bike, I was still pumped.

"Come on Bells," I coaxed her. "This is gonna be great!"

She looked unsure. "You still have to teach me. Don't leave me on the side of the road, with this bike, wondering what the hell to do, Jake," she warned.

"I would never do that," I laughed. "Come on, you're ready, right?"

"Yeah," she said slowly

"Then come on!"

I loaded the bikes onto the bed of the truck. This time, now that they were fixed, they were a little heavier but not much. I laid them carefully on their sides so Quil and Leah's paint job wouldn't get scratched. Then we were on our way!

I directed Bella to drive south of La Push. The road was full of curves and she drove cautiously while I chatted about how we had fixed the bikes so quickly. I didn't talk about last night at all. There wasn't a reason to.

Even though La Push is home, I can never get enough of the beach. As we drove – and Bella was driving super slow – I watched the view pass by. We were above the shore and we could see the tops of the cliffs. I pointed them out to Bella as we drove. She looked at them in amazement. Her face softened into a shy smile as she stared out the window.

Movement on the cliffs caught both of our attention; Bella's a little more than mine. I already knew who it was, Sam, Paul, Jared, and Embry, though I still found it hard to believe that Embry was actually hanging out with Sam...despite what Leah and Quil said.

All four of them were only wearing shorts. It was warm but not that warm. And they were standing way to close to the edge of the highest cliff. As Bella slowed the truck to a crawl, Sam stepped closer to the edge and jumped. It wasn't a big deal. We'd all been cliff diving before. Who was he showing off for since Emily was in the hospital? And why wasn't he with her?

Before I knew it the truck jerked to a halt and Bella was screaming.

"What's wrong?" I yelled.

"That guy – he just jumped off the cliff! Why didn't they stop him? We've got to call an ambulance!" She jumped out of the car in a panic. I laughed at her overreaction. Sam was fine. He didn't kill himself. But the fact that she was worried about Sam irritated me.

"They're just cliff diving," I told her. We do it for fun...recreation. La Push doesn't have a mall, you know," I teased.

"Cliff diving?" she repeated as she stared at the boys. Paul stepped to the edge, hesitated, then jumped off the cliff too. For a second – a brief one – I wished that neither him nor Sam made it back up the cliff.

"Wow. It's so high," Bella murmured. "It must be a hundred feet."

She slid back into the driver's seat but she was still staring at Jared and Embry, who remained on the cliff. I couldn't make out Embry's expression very well, but I knew that he didn't want to jump. Whenever I tried to get him to jump from that high up, he always refused. Obviously, Sam was making him do it.

"Well, yeah," I answered, agitated by her fascination. "Most of us jump from lower down -" I pointed to _our_ cliff. "Those guys are insane. Probably showing off how tough they are. I mean, really, it's warm out today but it's not July. That water can't feel good."

Bella stared at me in disbelief. "_You_ jump off the cliff too?"

"Sure, sure," I grinned. "It's fun. A little scary but a complete rush."

She turned her head back to the cliffs, just in time to see Jared take a dive. Her eyes widened and then she started to smile. Her smile threw me off. It looked strange.

"Jake, you have to take me cliff diving."

I frowned. Was she insane?

"Bella, you just wanted to call an ambulance for Sam because you thought he killed himself."

"But you just said you do it," she replied. "I want to try." She started to get back out of the truck. I grabbed a hold of her wrist to stop her. There was no way I was going to take Bella cliff diving. It was even more dangerous than the motorcycles. I didn't even know how good of a swimmer Bella was. With her clumsiness, she'd probably hit her head or break something on the way down and Charlie would kill me. No way. No cliff diving for Bella.

"Not today, alright," I answered, just to satisfy her. "Can we at least wait for a warmer day?"

"Okay, fine," she agreed. "But I want to go soon."

I rolled my eyes. Her soon and my soon were two extremely different time periods.

"Sometimes you're a little strange, Bella," I commented. "Do you know that?"

"Yes," she said but her eyes were bright with anticipation.

As much as I wanted to keep driving, Bella was fascinated with watching Embry. He backed up and took off running. I chuckled to myself. Embry always got a running start. He was scared that if he didn't he'd be too close to the rocks. When he dove, he was farther into the air than the others which allowed him to somersault in mid air. I was impressed. I'd never seen him do that before. For the first time, Embry looked relaxed as he sailed through the air.

"Can we jump from the top?" Bella asked anxiously.

"No," I snapped. "Are you crazy?"

"But it looks so fun...so free. So irresponsible," she added.

Normally she would have gotten me with _irresponsible, _but not this time.

"No, we are not jumping off the top."

"Fine," she managed to agree. "Not the first time anyway."

I sighed. Bella was going to get me in so much trouble.

"Are we going to try out the bikes or not" I demanded, reminding her of the reason we were out on this road anyway.

"Okay, okay," she said and managed to tear her eyes away from the stony cliffs. We started back down the road in silence. Bella's breathing was heavy, like she was getting excited from just the thought of jumping off of a cliff.

"So who were those guys on the cliff?" she asked me.

I groaned in disgust. She was ruining my day.

"The La Push Gang," I grudgingly answered.

"You have a gang?" Bella sounded impressed.

I rolled my eyes and laughed. "Not like that. They're not even close to a real gang. They're like hall monitors gone bad."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean," I hesitated, not because I didn't know how to describe them...I just didn't want to. "They're not like the Crips or Bloods. They don't start fights. They keep the peace."

"How?" Bella wondered.

"I really don't know. I try not to pay attention to what they do. But Leah told me that there was this guy from up by the Makah rez, some really big scary looking guy that was selling meth to kids, and Sam and his disciples ran him off our land."

"Really?"

"Well," I replied, "Leah's the one who told me the story. She's hardly ever wrong but she does exaggerate _a lot._ But those guys...they're always talking about our land and tribe pride and all that. They call themselves 'The Protectors'. It's ridiculous."

Just talking about them was making me angry. Especially since Embry was now a part of _the gang_.

"What's wrong?" Bella asked.

"You know what the worst part is? I asked but didn't wait for an answer. "The worst part is that the Council takes them seriously. My dad and them actually meet with them."

"You don't like them very much, do you?" Bella asked. She was staring at my hands, which were balled into fists. I hadn't even noticed.

"Does it show?" I asked sarcastically.

"Well...it doesn't sound like they're doing anything bad," Bella said slowly. "Just sort of an annoying goody two-shoes for a gang."

"Yeah," I agreed. "Annoying is a good word. They're always showing off like they were on the cliffs. Always acting like tough guys, which they aren't."

Though I didn't like talking about _them_, it actually felt good to finally have someone to listen to my complaints. Venting to Leah and Quil was like preaching to the choir. We all shared the same anger at them.

"One time, I was hanging out with Embry and Quil, and Sam came by with his followers, Jared and Paul. Quil said something, you know how he's got a big mouth, and it pissed Paul off. His eyes got all dark, and he sort of smiled – no, he showed his teeth but didn't smile – and it was like he was so mad he was shaking..."

_Kind of like Sam when we were in Port Angeles._ I wondered why that didn't jar my memory then.

"Anyway," I continued. "Sam put his hand against Paul's chest and shook his head and Paul calmed down. Honestly, it was like Sam was holding him back – like Paul was going to hurt us if Sam didn't stop him."

I groaned. "It was so stupid, like a bad western."

Bella smiled a little. I could see that she wanted me to continue; that she could tell that venting was definitely helping. I wondered if she remembered anything about the night she was in the woods and they found her and carried her back to her father. It didn't look like it.

"You know," I said, "Sam's a pretty big guy. He's twenty now. But Paul's just sixteen too, like me. And he's shorter. I think any of us could have taken him, if we wanted to."

Bella nodded. "They don't look so tough. And isn't Sam a little too old to be running a gang? It seems so juvenile."

"He is too old. He was supposed to go to college but he stayed here. And no one gave him any crap about it at all." That one thing pissed me off more than any of the other irritating things that have happened since then.

"When Rebecca turned down a partial scholarship and got married, the whole council pitched a fit. But, oh no, Sam Uley can do no wrong."

I stared out of my window, thinking about how upset my father had been with my sister and how long it took for her and her husband to be welcomed on the reservation again. Just because she did something that the council didn't like. Rebecca cried for weeks until she moved to Hawaii. And now she and her husband rarely visit us. I practically lost my sister, but it was okay for Sam to use steroids and harass people. It wasn't fair.

"It all sounds really annoying and...strange," Bella stated. "But I don't get why you're taking it so personally."

I felt her eyes peering at me but I didn't turn around.

"You missed the turn," I said evenly.

Immediately, Bella threw the truck into a very wide U-turn and almost hit a tree.

"Thanks for the heads-up," she snapped.

"Sorry. I wasn't paying attention," I admitted.

We rode partway down the street in silence. I couldn't get the crushed look on my sister's face out of my mind.

"You can stop anywhere along here," I finally spoke up.

Bella pulled over and cut the engine. We both got out and I unloaded the bikes from the bed. Bella was staring at me with a quizzical expression on her face.

I tried to smile as I wheeled her bike to her side.

"Happy late birthday. Are you ready for this?"

She stared at the bike and gnawed on her bottom lip. "I think so."

"We'll take it slow," I promised. She gripped the handlebars of the bike and leaned it against the truck's fender. I unloaded the other bike and wheeled it next to hers.

"Jake..." Bella hesitated. She wasn't ready. I figured she was about to admit that this was a bad idea...for her anyway.

"Yeah?"

"What's really bothering you? About the Sam thing, I mean? Is there something else?" She stared at me, concerned. I grimaced. Now I was ruining the day with my bad attitude.

I looked down at the dirt, absently kicking the front tire of the black bike over and over.

'It's just..." I sighed. "It's just the way they treat me. It creeps me out."

I wanted to tell Bella the truth because I couldn't tell Leah or Quil. I couldn't seem vulnerable. They looked up to me.

"You know, the council is supposed to be made up of equals, but if there was a leader, it would be my dad. I've never been able to figure out why people treat him the way they do. Why his opinion counts the most. It's got something to do with his father and his father's father."

Bella looked confused so I continued.

"My great-grandpa, Ephraim Black, was sort of the last chief we had, and they still listen to Billy, maybe because of that."

"But what does that have to do with them?" Bella asked, tilting her head in the direction of the cliffs.

"Because I can understand why they still listen to Billy...somewhat. But I'm just like everyone else," I explained. "Nobody treats _me_ special...until now."

"Sam treats you special?" Bella guessed.

"Yeah." I finally looked at her and I saw my own troubled expression staring back at me in her eyes. "He looks at me like he's waiting for something...like I'm going to join his stupid gang someday. Which I'm not," I said angrily. "He pays more attention to me than any of the other guys. I hate it."

"You don't have to join anything," Bella snapped. She was angry too and that infuriated me. I didn't want her to share my pain, just listen.

"Yeah," I said softly. "I know but..."

"What?"

I frowned, at her anger and my worries. This wasn't right.

"It's Embry," I told her. "He's been avoiding me lately."

"Well, you have been hanging out with me a lot. Maybe he doesn't like that," Bella suggested.

"No," I shook my head. "It's not that. It's not just me he's avoiding. Embry missed some school. His mom said he was sick but whenever me and Quil tried to see him, she wouldn't let us or he wasn't home. When I finally saw him, he looked...he looked freaked out." Yes, that was exactly the right description for how Embry looked the night at my house.

"Freaked out?" Bella quizzed. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, freaked out. Terrified. I tried to get him to tell me what was wrong but he wouldn't."

Bella was staring at me, biting her lip anxiously. But I couldn't look at her. Now that she new about the strange stuff going on up here she probably wouldn't want to come to La Push anymore.

"Have you tried talking to him again?" she asked.

"No." My voice was tense...strangled. "Embry's hanging out with Sam and the rest of them. He was out on the cliffs today."

I looked up from the bike tire I was tapping my foot against. Bella was still staring but she didn't understand. She didn't quite get why this was so weird.

"Bella," I said. "They bugged him even more than they bother me. He didn't want nothing to do with them and now he's following Sam around like he's joined a cult."

"So, they've never been friends?" Bella asked.

"No. And it's the same with Paul...exactly the same. He wasn't friends with Sam at all. Then he stopped coming to school for a few weeks and when he came back it was like Sam owned him. I can't figure it out," I admitted. "And I feel like I have to because Embry's my friend and now Sam's looking at me funny...and..." my voice trailed off. I didn't know how to continue. Truthfully, I was scared too. Scared that whatever Sam was doing to Embry and Paul, he'd eventually do to me.

"Have you talked to Billy about this?" Bella asked, horrified at the possibility of _anyone_ being in a cult.

"Yeah," I scoffed sarcastically. "That was helpful."

"What did he say?"

"It's nothing you need to worry about, son," I mimicked my father, almost completely matching his deep baritone voice. "In a few years, if you don't...well, I'll explain later." I didn't know what he meant when he said it and apparently, Bella didn't either.

"What am I supposed to _get_ from that?" I asked in my regular voice. "Is he trying to say it's some stupid puberty, coming-of-age thing? Well, it's not," I said forcefully. "This is something else. Something very very wrong." I bit down on my lower lip so hard that I tasted blood. Gross.

I looked down at my hands, clenched into fists again. When I thought about how worried everyone – me, Quil, Leah, and Seth – were about Embry...Paul too...and it just made me more upset. I couldn't take it.

Before I knew it Bella threw her arms around my waist and hugged me tightly. I towered above her and it felt like a child hugging a grown-up.

"Oh Jake, it'll be okay," she tried to comfort me. "If it gets worse, you can come live with me and Charlie". She buried her face against my chest.

For a second I stood very still. I'd never been this close to Bella before. She wasn't the affectionate type...at least not with me.

"Don't be scared, we'll think of something," she assured me.

For the first time since...well, I can't even remember how long it's been...someone was actually comforting _me_. I felt better, knowing that someone actually cared enough about how I feel to try and make _me_ feel better. Usually it's the other way around.

"Thanks, Bella," I whispered.

We stood like that for a moment, enjoying the contact of our bodies. Holding Bella in my arms felt strange...no, not strange...different. I was amazed that she was so close. Especially after all she went through with Edward. I wondered if her wanting to be near me meant that she was over him and looking for someone else...that she was available.

Conversations with Quil and Leah quickly played in my head.

_But she's not hanging around us. She's with you. Maybe she likes you._

_... a rainbow after a storm. When you're around, everything just seems better. Bella needs that..._

Were they right? Because nothing about standing here with my arms around Bella and her arms around me felt wrong. In fact it felt very right. Somehow or another, it felt like we were connecting on a different level. It wasn't physical, like me and Leah, or even the same emotional level as me and Leah. I couldn't describe it but I knew that Bella wasn't just using me to get over her ex. She liked me.

My thoughts were validated when Bella sighed against my chest. She was content being here with me. She wanted to be here with me.

"If this is how you're going to react, I'll freak out more often," I teased lightly. I chuckled in her ear as my fingers intuitively touched thick brown strands of Bella's hair, feeling the softness of it.

Bella stiffened in my arms then pulled away, laughing nervously.

_Too soon, Jake,_ I scolded myself.

At least she was smiling when she looked up at me. I hadn't scared her off by touching her hair.

"It's hard to believe that I'm two years older than you," Bella stated, making sure to emphasize the word older. "You make me feel like a dwarf."

"You're forgetting that I'm in my forties," I reminded her. She wasn't uncomfortable and I wanted to keep it that way. Teasing and joking with her always seemed to do the trick. She never tired of my jokes...like some people.

"Oh, that's right," she laughed.

I patted the top of her head. "You're like a little doll...a porcelain doll."

Bella frowned and took a step away from me. She hated being teased about her paleness...but it couldn't be helped.

"Let's not start with the albino cracks, Jake," she begged and rolled her eyes.

"Seriously," I laughed. "Bella, are you sure you aren't?" I stretched my arm out next to hers. The difference in our skin color was staggering.

"I've never seen anyone paler than you...well, except for -" I stopped myself. Oops! I had been doing so well in the past few weeks. I was very careful not to mention anything that could be linked back to Edward or any of the Cullens because whenever I did, Bella looked like she was going to fall apart or kick my ass.

"So, are we going to ride or what?" I asked, pointedly ignoring my slip-up. If I didn't acknowledge it, maybe Bella wouldn't either.

"Okay, let's do it," Bella agreed enthusiastically. Maybe she hadn't noticed it. Or maybe...just maybe, enough time had passed and she didn't care.

Slowly we wheeled the bikes away from the truck and onto the dirt road. I leaned mine against a tree while Bella stood next to hers, ready for her first lesson.

"Bells," I told her. "You have to get _on_ the bike."

"I know," she mumbled and slowly swung her leg over the bike. She situated herself on the seat. I laughed at the nervousness radiating from her body. She was terrified and _this had been her idea!_

All the time she'd spent with me in the garage while I was fixing the bikes had paid off though. At least she was familiar with the parts of the bike.

"Okay, Bella," I said seriously. "You have to listen to me. This is a motorcycle-"

"I know," she snapped as she clutched the handlebars.

"Yeah, but it's not like riding a bike," I replied. "Okay, where's your clutch?"

She stared at the handlebars for a second then pointed to the lever on the left. It was the clutch but letting go of the handlebars was a mistake. She didn't know how to hold the bike up with her legs yet so it wobbled underneath, almost making them both fall to the ground. Bella grabbed the handlebars quickly, trying to hold the bike up.

"Jacob, it won't stay up," she complained.

"It will once you're moving," I explained. "Now, where's your brake?"

"Behind my right foot," she answered smugly.

"Wrong!" I grabbed her right hand and curled her fingers around the lever over the throttle.

"But you said-" she insisted.

"This," I pointed to the brake, "is the brake _you_ want. Don't use the back brake. That's for later, when you know what you're doing."

"That doesn't sound right," Bella said suspiciously. "Aren't both brakes kind of important?"

I shook my head. "Forget the back brake," I reiterated. "Here-" I wrapped my hand around hers and made her clutch the brake. "_That_ is how you break. Don't forget, Bella. If you forget and use that back brake, you will flip this bike."

"Fine," she said.

"Throttle?" I asked, moving on.

She twisted the right grip. Correct.

"Gearshift?"

For a second she looked confused which was not a good sign. If Bella didn't remember how to shift gears then we might as well pack up the bikes and go home. But then she remembered what I'd pointed out and nudged the gearshift with her left calf. Perfect.

"Very good," I acknowledged. "I think you've got all the parts down. Now you just have to get it _moving_."

Bella didn't answer. She was clutching the handlebars so tight that her knuckles were turning white...if that was even possible. Her eyes were teeming with fear.

"Bella?" I asked slowly, her fear was making me rethink this plan. We hadn't even turned on the bike and she was already scared. Wait until she heard the engine.

She shook her head, tossing her hair over her shoulder.

"What?"

"Do you really want to do this?" I was good at teaching girls how to do dangerous things. I taught my sisters how to ride dirt bikes. I taught some of the girls on the rez how to build fires and how to hunt with rifles. I know I can teach Bella how to ride a motorcycle, but she had to be willing. If she wasn't willing, then it wouldn't work.

"Yes, I want to do this," she answered. "I'm not afraid." But it sounded like she was trying to convince herself more than me.

"Okay," I sighed. "I want you to hold down the clutch."

Courageously, Bella wrapped her fingers around the clutch.

"Now this is crucial, Bella, don't let go of that," I couldn't stress it more. "I want you to pretend that I've handed you a live grenade. The pin is out and you're holding down the spoon."

I grinned at the determined look on Bella's face as she squeezed the clutch tighter.

"Good. Do you think you can kick-start it?"

"If I move my foot, I will fall over," she said through gritted teeth. It took everything in me not to laugh.

"Okay, I'll do it. Don't let go of the clutch," I warned. If she did, we'd probably both end up in the hospital.

I stepped a few inches back, and slammed my foot down on the pedal. There was a short ripping noise but the ignition didn't catch. I frowned. It had started right up for Leah. I tried again, harder this time, and the force rocked the bike. Bella started to fall sideways. Balance wasn't her strong suit either, apparently. I caught the bike before they landed on the ground.

"Steady there," I said. "Do you still have the clutch?"

"Yes," she gasped.

"Plant you feet," I instructed. "I'm going to try again." But this time I held on to the back of the bike, just in case she let go of the clutch and went flying forward.

It took three more tries but I finally managed to get the ignition to catch. The engine rumbled. It was a good sound. I smiled. So far so good.

"Try out the throttle," I suggested. "Very lightly. And don't let go of the clutch."

Hesitantly, Bella twisted the right handle. The engine revved, sounding like the roar of a hungry wildcat. It was music to my ears.

"Do you remember how to put it in first gear?" I asked. Now that I knew for certain that her bike worked, I was anxious to start up mine.

"Yes."

"Well...go ahead and do it."

"Okay," she said but didn't move an inch. I waited a few seconds. She still hadn't touched the gearshift.

"Left foot," I prompted.

"I _know,_" she said, taking a deep breath.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I asked again. "You look scared."

"I'm not scared. I'm fine," she snapped. To prove it, she kicked the gearshift down one notch.

"Okay...that's good," I encouraged. She didn't fool me. She was scared but there was something that was making her do this. And it wasn't me.

"Now, _very_ gently," I urged, "ease up on the clutch." I stepped away from the bike, not wanting Bella to accidently run over my feet.

"You want me to let go of the grenade?" she asked in disbelief.

"That's how you move, Bella," I explained again. "Just do it little by little."

She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. When she opened them, they were bright with anticipation. She began to loosen her grip on the clutch. The engine revved a little more. I watched nodding my head, encouraging her to loosen it a little more.

"Oh!" Bella gasped and her hand fell off the clutch. I don't know what shocked her but I didn't have time to think about it. The bike bucked under her, yanking her forward as she fell off the bike. She hit the ground and before I could stop it, the bike fell on her, as the engine stalled.

"Bella?" I jerked the bike up and put the kickstand down. "Are you hurt?"

She didn't answer. I examined the far away look on her face. She hadn't hit her head. There weren't any cuts. She looked okay except for the bizarre look on her face.

"Bella?" I repeated, shaking her shoulder.

"I'm fine," she mumbled.

I reached out my hand and pulled her to her feet.

"Did you hit your head?" I asked.

She shook her head back and forth. "I don't think so. I didn't hurt the bike, did I?"

"No," I answered. "You just stalled the engine. You let go of the clutch too fast."

She nodded. "Let's try again.

"Are you sure?" I wanted to know. Not many girls would be willing to give motorcycle riding another shot after having one fall on them.

"Positive," was Bella's excited answer. She hopped back on the bike, totally different now. It was like she was more determined than ever to ride it. She even wanted to kick-start it herself.

I kept laughing as she tried over and over to start the bike again. She had to jump a little to slam down on the pedal with enough force to start it. I hadn't realized that she was so weak. Every time she jumped though, she almost fell over. I stayed close; ready to catch her so we wouldn't have a repeat falling.

It took a long time for Bella to get the bike started. But when it did, she smiled just as hard as I was. This time she remembered to keep her hand on the clutch as she revved the throttle experimentally. The bike snarled at the slight touch of her hand...like it was supposed to.

"Easy on the clutch," I reminded her before she got too excited. "Ease off slowly."

"I will, she answered. She loosened her grip slower this time. Then the gear caught and the bike moved forward.

Bella took off, speeding down the road. Her excited giggle caught in the wind as she raced down the street. She was only in first gear so I wasn't worried. She looked like she was enjoying herself. I started the other bike and took off behind her.

The sound of the engine revving and slipping into second gear concerned me. Why was she trying to speed up? She couldn't even steer the bike that well yet. I sped up so that we could ride side by side. But as I picked up speed, so did Bella. I immediately got nervous. The road was going to start curving and she was going way too fast.

"Brakes, Bella!" I yelled, though I knew she couldn't hear me over the roar of the bike. "Brakes!"

Then it happened...almost as if I was watching it in slow motion. Bella slammed down her _foot_ on the back brake, the one I'd told her to forget about. The bike began to sway from one side to the other. She was racing towards the trees at a dangerous speed. Bella turned the bike in the opposite direction of the turn, turning the handlebar way too sharply. The sudden shift made the bike off balance and both Bella and the bike hit the ground. The motorcycle was on top of her as they skidded across the dirt road until a tree stopped their progress.

I reached her on my bike at the same time Bella's head slammed against the tree.

"Bella!" I yelled as I hopped off my bike and it went crashing to the ground. I didn't even care when the engine cut off.

I pulled her bike off from on top of her and she rolled over to catch her breath. She mumbled something incoherent that I didn't catch.

"Bella!" I said again, crouching over her anxiously. "Bella, are you alive?"

"I'm great!" she said excitedly. She flexed her arms and legs, proving that nothing was broken. "Let's do it again."

I was glad to see that she hadn't broken anything on her fall. But the gash on her head was gushing blood. There was no way she was getting back on that bike.

"I don't think so," I said. "I think I'd better drive you to the hospital first."

"I'm fine," she insisted.

"Um, Bella...you've got a huge cut on your forehead," I informed her, surprised that she didn't know. "And it's gushing blood." Couldn't she feel the pain? Or had she hit her head so hard against the tree that nothing else hurt worse?

Bella clapped her hand over the cut. She stared at the blood on her hand in amazement. Then she looked embarrassed. She pressed her hand back over the gash, like she was trying to stop the bleeding with just her hand.

"Oh! I'm so sorry, Jacob," she apologized.

"Why are you apologizing for bleeding?" I asked as I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her to her feet. Bella was as light as a feather. We should have started out with Embry's dirt bike.

"Let's go to the hospital. I'll drive." I held out my hand for the keys to her truck that were sticking out of her pocket.

"What about the bikes?" she asked as she handed me the keys.

"Wait here," I told her. "And take this." I pulled off my t-shirt and threw it to her. We needed something to stop the bleeding and I couldn't make Bella take off _her_ shirt. She wadded up my shirt and pressed it against her forehead. She looked queasy. I jumped on the black bike and started it. Bella looked like she was about to faint and I wanted her to be in the truck if that happened.

When I got to the old truck, I tossed my bike into the back and drove back up the road to Bella. Surprisingly, she was still standing...but not for long. I wrapped my arm around her waist again, to steady her.

"Okay," I said, "let's get you in the truck."

"Honestly, I'm fine," she protested as I situated her in the truck. "Don't get all worked up. It's just a little blood."

"Just _a lot_ of blood," I replied and went to get her bike.

Charlie often joked to me and my dad about Bella's clumsiness and the fact that she was on a first name basis with half of the staff at Forks General Hospital so I should have expected _something _to happen. I should have bought her a helmet. I don't know what I was thinking. It just didn't cross my mind since we weren't going to be out on the highway or anywhere dangerous. I should have known Bella would have found some way to fall.

I put her bike in the bed of the truck next to mine and got back into the cab. Before I had even closed the door, Bella was trying to convince me that she was fine.

"Now, let's think about this for a second," she said. "If you take me to the ER like this, Charlie is sure to hear about it."

"Bella, you need stitches. I'm not going to let you bleed to death."

"I won't bleed to death," she insisted. "But let's just take the bikes back to your house first. Then we'll make a stop at my house so I can dispose of the evidence -" she pointed to the blood on her shirt and jeans – "before we go to the hospital."

I was impressed with Bella's attitude. Not once did she cry, not a single tear. Plus she was acting like this sort of thing happened all the time. She was an expert at hiding her multiple injuries.

"What about Charlie?" I asked since she had all the answers.

"He said he had to work today."

"Are you really sure?" I pressed.

"Trust me. I'm an easy bleeder. It's not nearly as bad as it looks."

But that wasn't what I was worried about. I could see that Bella knew exactly how to deal with her own injuries. But how would Charlie react when she came home all cut up and bandaged after spending the day with me? I could hear him and my father yelling at me... words like irresponsible...careful...delicate...and my dad's favorite "you can't do that with girls".

"Why are you so quiet?" Bella asked, interrupting my thoughts.

"I'm just thinking," I answered.

"About what? Because you're frowning and I'm not used to seeing your mouth turned down that way."

"Your father's gonna kill me," I finally admitted. "Then after that, my dad's going to kill me."

"No, they're not," Bella argued. "Because they aren't going to know."

She said it with such confidence, such finality that I didn't argue. We'd see.

"You still okay?" I asked. The green queasy look had passed but I didn't want her slipping into a coma. As I learned from watching The Learning Channel, you never knew what could happen with a head injury.

"Yeah," she answered, slightly agitated. I wasn't trying to sound like a worrywart but you could never be too careful.

"By the way," I added. "I'm going to disconnect your foot brake tonight."

Bella smiled and nodded.

When we got to her house, I waited downstairs in the hallway while she went up to change. Charlie wasn't home but that didn't mean he wouldn't be home soon and Bella was taking forever! I flinched every time I heard a car ride down the street. What was she doing? How long did it really take to throw on a clean shirt and a new pair of pants?

"Hurry up!" I called up the steps, impatiently.

"Okay, okay!" she shouted back. A few minutes later she came downstairs, blood free in fresh clothes.

"How do I look?"

She certainly didn't look like she'd gotten into a fight with a fir tree, that's for sure. I was grateful. But the cut above her eyes still bothered me.

"Better," I admitted.

"But do I look like I tripped in your garage and hit my head on a hammer?"

"Sure, I guess so."

"Let's go then."

I hurried us out the door and climbed into the driver's side. I sped down the street – as fast as I could – praying the entire way to the hospital that we wouldn't run into Charlie. I didn't know how good I'd be at lying at someone else's father when I couldn't even lie to my own.

I looked over at Bella who was frowning.

"What?" I asked. "Does your head hurt? Do you feel sleepy?"

"We should have grabbed you a jacket," she answered.

I looked down, realizing that I was still shirtless.

"But that would have given us away. I'm sure Charlie would have noticed that one of his coats was missing. Besides, it's not cold."

"Are you kidding?" Bella shivered and turned on the heat.

But I really wasn't cold. I was hardly ever cold. Even when we walked to school in the mornings, Leah and I rarely wore our thick winter jackets anymore. I remembered Sam and his gang on the cliffs earlier. They'd been wearing shorts. I wondered if their body temperatures had increased like mine and Leah's. Maybe it had something to do with our blood. Maybe Quileutes are just warm natured creatures.

Bella was still staring at me, scrutinizing my. Was me being shirtless bothering her that much.

"What?" I asked, feeling a little self-conscious.

"Nothing," she sighed. "I just hadn't realized before."

"Realized what?" I asked.

"Did you know," she sighed again but kept her eyes on my bare chest. "Did you know that you're sort of beautiful?"

She was delirious. I pressed down on the gas pedal harder and rolled my eyes. She needed medical attention quickly.

"You hit your head pretty hard, didn't you?" I asked.

"I'm serious."

"Well then, thanks," I said. "Sort of."

She grinned. "You're sort of welcome."

Even though she was smiling I knew that Bella's injury was worse than she tried to make it seem. And I was right. She had to have seven stitches to close the gash. I guess seven was better than _seventy_ but still, stitches were stitches and Charlie wouldn't be happy about _one_.

I held Bella's hand while Dr. Snow was sewing her up. We endured the "you kids need to be more careful" lecture from him while he was sewing. I laughed when he commented on his surprise that Bella hadn't fainted from the sight of so much of her own blood.

"What was he talking about?" I asked. "You have a fear of blood?"

"No," she wrinkled her brow. "I'm not scared of it. It stinks and the smell makes me nauseous."

"You can smell blood?" I asked, surprised. Bella was becoming more and more odd every day.

"Yes," she snapped. "And it stinks. Let's go."

When we started back to her house, I brought up the conversation I'd been avoiding.

"You know," I said, staring at the road, knowing I could have driven back to my house with my eyes closed. "Dr. Snow was right."

Bella whipped her head around and stared at me.

"Right about what?" she said cautiously.

"I haven't been too careful with you. I forget that you're not like..." I didn't know if I should compare Bella to Leah. But I didn't have any other reference. My sisters – well, most of the girls I knew - were fragile like Bella.

"I'm not like what?"

"You're not really into all the crazy outdoorsy stuff that we...I mean, I'm into," I stated. "You're just now learning how to ride a motorcycle. I have to remember that you're still new to all of this. Baby steps, you know."

"First of all," Bella began angrily. "I can do whatever I want to do. I don't need you to take care of me. Just because I don't hunt and fish and ride motorcycles like you and your friends all the time, does not mean I need you to treat me like I'm some fragile little girl who has to be protected or she'll break!"

"Yeah but while it's okay for me to crash a bike into a tree," I yelled back, "it's not okay for you to do it!"

"And why not?" she demanded.

"Because...because it doesn't hurt me," I informed her. "I'm a boy. My father, my doctor...the other parents on the rez...they're all used to me and Quil and Embry getting hurt. They're used to us falling out of trees and getting cuts and bruises from climbing through the junkyard. Charlie is not used to seeing his daughter come home all bandaged up after hanging out with a boy. So yes, I have to be more careful with you because I'm not going to get in trouble with the Chief of Police."

"Oh puh-leeze, Jacob," Bella said. "Charlie is used to me tripping up the steps...falling on ice...practically drowning in the shower. He's knows how accident prone I am. If I get hurt with you, the only thing he's going to say is 'I'm glad you were with Jake instead of by yourself'."

I pulled the truck into my backyard close to the garage, noticing that there weren't any lights on in my house. I wondered where my father was.

"So, you're saying that as long as you're with me, it's okay for you to end up in the hospital?"

"I'm saying that as long as I'm with you, Charlie won't be _too_ worried about me ending up in the hospital," she clarified. "He knows that you won't let me hurt myself too bad. But don't you start acting like my bodyguard. Because no matter what, I'm going to trip and fall. I'm going to cut myself...on something. That's just who I am, Jake."

"Okay," I said as we both got out of the truck. "Guess I'll just have to get Mrs. Clearwater to refill the first-aid kit when she goes to work tomorrow. Might as well keep it handy."

"Ha ha," Bella said sarcastically as she climbed into the driver's seat. I unloaded the bikes and put them back in the garage.

"So, same time tomorrow?" Bella asked.

I hesitated. "I don't know..." no matter what she said, I just didn't feel right about her getting hurt on my watch.

"Oh, come on, Jacob," she pleaded.

"Fine," I gave in. "We'll go back out tomorrow."

"Good. Now I really have to go. Gotta cook for my dad and finish some homework since we'll be riding all day," she said hopefully.

"Bye, Bella," I stated and started towards the house. She reminded me of something. I was starving!


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17 **

"Charlie's getting nosy," Bella told me one Friday after school during a homework session at her house.

The last couple of weeks have started to become very routine for me. School...homework...riding lessons with Bella...trips to the nurses' station or the hospital. Bella was getting better with her motorcycle but she still kept crashing and falling. Every time the bike hit a crack in the street, she wobbled.

I already knew that Charlie was getting a little antsy about Bella's multiple injuries, especially the light concussion she received on day three. He'd even gone as far as making my dad promise to talk to me about being more careful with Bella. Not that I had anything to do with that.

Bella was crazy intent on _not_ being careful. The more reckless an idea was, the better for her. Often times, I was the one hesitating to take part in her antics. Bella had a death wish and I wanted no part in killing myself. Which is why we still hadn't been cliff diving. Besides, her clumsiness was reckless enough. Even after I bought her a helmet, it still didn't help with the sprained wrists and twisted ankles. I don't know where this reckless streak came from but it was fun...most of the time. Racing on the bikes was our biggest, most dangerous feat to date.

Hitting the roads at speeds well above the posted speed limit was exhilarating. Even Bella enjoyed the thrill of the speed, the wind in her hair. Riding around La Push and Port Angeles – never Forks because Charlie was sure to catch us – was a complete adrenaline rush. After all, we had real motorcycles! Not Embry's dirt bike. Plus we were together and there was something about being with Bella that felt so right. When I was with her, life felt normal again.

"Maybe we should cool it with the bikes," I suggested.

Bella frowned and opened her mouth to object.

"At least for a week or so," I amended. "You could stay out of the hospital for a week, right?"

"What are we going to do, then?" Bella griped.

I grinned cheerfully. There were a million options, so many things we could do. I wanted to take Bella up to the ski resort and try snowboarding, while there was still snow on the ground. I don't know if she'd ever been up the hot springs at the top of the mountains...the possibilities were endless.

"Whatever you want to do," I answered. "As long as we're not stuck here on the rez."

I watched as Bella's brow wrinkled and her eyes closed. She was thinking extremely hard about our next adventure. Only she didn't look happy. It was becoming more obvious to me that the only time Bella _ever_ looked happy was when we were doing something dangerous or what she considered risky. Those were the only moments when her smile was genuine and she was a hundred thousand percent at peace.

"What are you thinking about so hard?" I asked cautiously.

"Well," she answered slowly. "I found this place in the forest once. I came across it when I was...um...hiking," she stumbled over her words and I knew that she wasn't telling me the full story.

"You were hiking....alone?" I asked skeptically.

Her cheeks blushed ferociously because she knew she was caught in a lie. I laughed to myself. It didn't take much for Bella to turn red.

"It's a little meadow," she continued without acknowledging my question at all. "It's the most beautiful place I've ever seen. I don't know if I could track it down again on my own. It would definitely take a few tries."

The fact that she wasn't looking at me only solidified my first thought. She wasn't telling me everything about this meadow. I wasn't sure if I even wanted to know.

"We could use a compass and a grid pattern," I told her. "Do you know where you started from?"

"Yes," she answered quickly, looking up at me with hopeful eyes. "Just below the trailhead where the one-ten ends. I was mostly going south, I think."

"Cool. We'll find it."

But I had my doubts. I've been up and down the woods around the one-ten and I don't remember any meadow, let alone the most beautiful place on earth. But it was a way to get off the reservation for a few hours and that was all I wanted to do. That, plus seeing Bella happy again.

I had no doubt that Bella had gone to this place with Edward and I wondered why she wanted to take me to this place. And what would happen when we got there? Bella _never_ talked about Edward. She couldn't hide her pain whenever I accidently mentioned him or his family. Why would she want to go anywhere that they used to go to together?

I've seen my sisters, Leah, Kim, and a host of other girls go through breakups and I don't recall any of them wanting to go back to places that they shared with their boyfriends. Leah almost killed me when I suggested going to the springs. Then she burst out in tears and ran out of my garage. I didn't understand but I was willing to do whatever Bella wanted, no matter how strange it was.

Saturday morning I walked to Quil's to repossess my compass that he and Leah had borrowed on their search for giant bears. They hadn't found any but still, he was holding my compass hostage.

As I walked back to my house, I saw a familiar sight...my best friend who I hadn't seen since that bizarre night in the woods around my house. Embry looked so different! So big! The first thought that ran through my mind was that he was taking the same stuff that Sam, Jared, and Paul were.

"Embry!" I called. No matter what he was on, he was my friend and he needed my help. If I could convince him to talk to me, we could go to my father together and put a stop to Sam's shenanigans.

"Embry," I called again when he didn't even stop walking. I picked up my pace as I followed him down the street. His pace quickened too. Soon I was in an all out jog and he was still walking.

"Embry," I breathed when I finally caught up with him, right by the woods near the school. "Where are you headed?"

"Go home, Jake," he said calmly. "I thought I was clear when I said I can't hang out with you anymore.

The changes in Embry's body were changes that I could live with. After all, he's sixteen like me. We're all going through growth spurts. But there was something more sinister going on with my friend. His usual happiness was gone, replaced by a darker, edgier expression. He looked as if he had never smiled a day in his life.

"I didn't ask you to hang out with me," I told him. "I asked where are you were headed."

Embry looked down at the ground. He still looked like my friend but there was a darker terror in his eyes. Something was seriously wrong.

"Look, Em," I said. "Whatever Sam has done to you, we can fix it. We can talk to my dad-"

"This isn't Sam's fault!" he snapped. His head shot up and he looked like he could rip my head off without hesitation. I'd seen that look before...on Sam. I took a step back.

"Whoa," I said. "Calm down. And if this new you isn't Sam's fault, whose is it?"

Embry grinned but it definitely was not a happy grin. It was the type of grin you see on the faces of serial killers before they cut off your head and eat your liver.

"You don't want to know the answer to that question," he sneered.

"Yes, I do," I argued back.

"No...You don't. But you will," he added. "Soon." Without another word, he took off running into the forest. I didn't even hear his footsteps, he was running so fast. When had Embry Call become so agile?

Slowly I turned around and jogged back to my house. There was no way I'd be able to forget about what just happened but I had other things to do. So I added this to my STRANGE ENCOUNTERS file in my head and focused on the task at hand, finding Bella's meadow.

Bella was already at my house, perched on kitchen chair and talking to my father. For some reason Billy seemed very disinterested in having any type of conversation with Bella and either she couldn't tell, or didn't care, because she kept talking while I sprawled out on the living room floor with a large topographical map of the Olympic Peninsula and a marker. I looked for Highway 110 and started drawing a grid from there.

"A lot of hikers are coming into the store talking about giant bears," Bella stated to my dad.

"Maybe we'll see the super bear," I joked. Though I knew from the direction we were going, we wouldn't have a chance. The bear that attacked Emily was still being "spotted" up north.

"Maybe you should take a jar of honey, just in case," my dad laughed.

"Hope those new boots are fast, Bella," I chuckled. "One little jar of honey isn't going to keep a hungry bear occupied for long."

She laughed too but her eyes were worried. "I only have to be faster than you."

"Good luck with that!" I rolled my eyes and refolded the map. "Let's go."

"Have fun," my dad mumbled and then the standard, "Not too late, Jake."

Bella insisted on driving her truck, even though I begged and pleaded all the way to the car. She swore she knew exactly where she was going and that I was too hard on her truck. But she drove like an old lady and she just didn't realize how much it killed me to be a passenger in her truck.

It didn't take long to find our starting spot, thank goodness. Bella was quiet the entire ride. Her eyes were anxious. It made me wonder if we were going to the meadow to find something.

She stopped the truck near the sign that marked the beginning of the trailhead and got out of the car. She started walking the opposite direction of the trail. Then she stopped walking and stared at the dense green forest.

"I went this way," she mumbled, pointing straight ahead.

What? No trail?

"Really?" I asked. She didn't answer. But judging by the look on her face and the thickness of the trees, Bella had not came this way by herself, no matter what she wanted me to believe.

"What?" Bella asked.

"I would have figured you for a trail kind of girl," I answered truthfully, opening the door for her to tell me the truth. She didn't.

"Not me." She smiled bleakly. "I'm a rebel."

Some rebel, I thought but pulled out the map.

"Give me a second." I took my compass and compared it to the map until it angled the way I wanted it to. I was a little angry that Bella was still lying to me. She should know by now that she could tell me the truth about anything. Yet, she still treated me as if I was just a distraction, a person she could get in trouble with.

"Okay," I finally said. "First line on the grid. Let's do this."

We set off on our mission, me leading the way through the vast forest. I'd been through this part of the forest before so the rough undergrowth and the wet leaves didn't bother me. It bothered Bella. Even in her new hiking boots, she was still slow. Every few minutes I had to grab her arm to steady her, to keep her from plummeting head first into the moist ground.

For awhile, I felt like I did when I was running on the track with Leah. My mind was clear and all I could focus on was moving forward. I even caught myself whistling. Maybe I needed this as much as Bella did.

Finally we reached a patch of the forest that was flat and I was able to let go of Bella's arm. We walked in silence, admiring the greenery.

"Hey...Jake," Bella finally spoke, other than the occasional curse when she tripped or stumbled.

"Yeah?"

"How are things...with Embry? Is he back to normal yet?"

Yeah right, normal...Embry would never be normal again. Not as long as he was with Sam.

I kept walking, and didn't answer. Bella rushed to keep up. I heard her trip and stopped walking until she could catch up.

"No. He's not back to normal," I said when she finally reached me.

"Still with Sam?"

"Yup," was my answer.

"Have you talked to him? I mean, you did say that he was your best friend."

"I tried talking to him but..." my shoulders slumped. I couldn't understand why Bella insisted on bringing up uneasy things for me when I tried so hard not to bring up the one thing that made her shudder and clutch her arms around her chest in pain.

"Are they still looking at you funny?" she whispered.

I stared through the trees. "Sometimes."

"And Billy?" she pressed.

"As helpful as ever," I said sarcastically.

"Our couch is always open," she offered.

This time I laughed. Charlie's would actually be the first place my dad would look.

"Yeah, but think of the position that would put Charlie in when Billy calls the police to report my kidnapping."

Bella laughed too. But the look I gave her was enough for her not to bring it up for the rest of the hike.

And a hike it was. Once we started walking again, I began to get a little agitated. Bella claimed that everything looked exactly the same and with that attitude, we'd never find her meadow.

"Alright," I finally said, looking at my map. "Let's go west."

"Lead the way," Bella replied.

Two miles later, we stopped to eat. Bella had made sandwiches and brought canteens of water. Working at a sporting goods store had its perks, I guess.

"So, what's going on with you and Leah?" Bella asked through a mouthful of roast beef and bread.

"What do you mean?"

"Is she still acting...what did you say? Crazy?"

I snorted. "Leah's always acting crazy. That's nothing new."

"So you guys are cool again?" Bella wanted to know.

I nodded. "We'll always be cool. We fight like an old married couple, at least that's what our parents say."

"That's good," Bella said absently. I wondered if she, like everyone else, thought there was something odd about my friendship with Leah.

"Are you ready?" I said after we discarded our sandwich wrappings and stood up.

"Jake, I don't think we're ever going to find it," she admitted. "It's getting dark too. Maybe we should just go back to the truck."

"As long as you're sure we're starting from the right place," I said, glancing down at my map.

"Yes, I'm sure."

"Then we'll find it." We started walking. A mile and a half later, I grabbed her hand and pulled her though a mass of ferns. Her truck was on the other side.

"See," I said proudly. "We'll find your meadow. Trust me."

"You're good," Bella admitted in awe. "But next time, we'll bring flashlights."

"And we'll save hiking for Sundays from now on. I didn't know you were that slow."

I chuckled as Bella yanked her hand from mine and stomped around to the driver's side of her truck. She should be used to my teasing by now.

"So, are you up for another try tomorrow?" I asked while I slid into the passenger seat.

"Sure," she glowered at me. "Unless you want to go without me so I don't tie you down with my gimpy pace."

"Hey, if I can survive riding with you in this truck, I'll survive hiking. But," I added. "If we're hiking again, you might want to pick up some moleskin from that fancy sporting goods store you work at. I bet you can feel those new boots right now."

"A little," she confessed.

I had warned Bella about the dangers of hiking in new boots. She hadn't listened. I bet her poor feet were covered in blisters. I looked down at my well worn boots and felt bad.

"And...I hope we see the bear tomorrow. I'm sort of disappointed about that."

Bella looked at me like I was crazy. "Yeah, me too," she said sarcastically. "Maybe we'll get lucky tomorrow and something will eat us!"

"Bears don't want to eat people," I explained. "We don't taste that good."

I grinned at her in the dark cab of the truck. I had a feeling that if we did see a bear, Bella's gravitational pull that attracted all things dangerous would send the bear right her way.

"Of course," I laughed. "You might be an exception. I bet you'd taste good."

"Thanks so much," she muttered and started the truck. But still, she wasn't smiling at the joke. Maybe it was a little too much teasing. Bella can be so sensitive at times.

****

I didn't realize how tired I was from the hike until Bella dropped me off at my house. The house was dark and quiet when I walked in. My father wasn't asleep on the couch or in his room. There was a note on the fridge for me, telling me that he was with Harry. They'd gone up to Seattle and would be back tomorrow. That was fine with me.

I dropped my hiking gear by the back door and left a trail of sweaty clothes along the way to the bathroom. I didn't care. Sunday morning was laundry day anyway.

The scolding hot water on me eased the tension in every one of my muscles as I stood under the shower head. The best gift Rachel ever got me was a massaging shower head. When the water finally started to cool, I cleansed myself with a small bar of Irish Spring. The tiny bar of soap practically disappeared when I used it. One day this week, I'd have to go to the store and stock up on toiletries.

Despite the coolness of the water, my skin was blazing hot when I walked out of the bathroom. Since I was alone, I walked through the house naked and turned off the thermostat. I was too hot for extra heat.

I opened the door to my room and a blast of cold air hit me. My window was open! I had not opened it, I was sure of that. I quickly flicked the light switch. Leah was lying across my bed on her back, her dark hair fanned out over my pillow. She was asleep.

"Leah," I called out. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Her eyes fluttered open and finally focused on me. She grinned and I remembered that I was completely naked. I grabbed a pair of sweats off the floor and pulled them on.

"What took you so long?" she asked. "I've been waiting on you for hours."

"Why were you waiting on me?"

Leah sat up on the bed and stared at me angrily.

"What do you mean, why? Did you forget that it's Saturday? Movie night?"

_Oh no!_ I had completely forgotten. But it had been a couple of weeks since me, Leah, and Seth spent Saturday night together getting on Billy's nerves and watching movies. Leah was always busy. But usually she told me before hand that she wouldn't be coming.

"I thought you...I thought," I stammered.

"Oh shut up," Leah snapped. "Just spit it out. You forgot because you were with Bella."

"No," I lied. "I just thought that you were going to be busy."

"But you were with Bella, right?" Leah glared at me. "Don't answer that. You're always with Bella." She hopped off the bed and pushed past me into the hallway. I turned around and followed her.

"Why does that matter?" I asked. "I'm here and it's still early. It's not even nine o'clock."

"Whatever, Jake." Leah started to walk to the front door. I cut past her and beat her there.

"Leah, what are you mad about?" I pressed. "The fact that I forgot about movie night or the fact that I was with Bella?"

Leah sat down on the couch in a huff. She picked up the remote and turned on the television. It was a few minutes before either of us said anything. I was waiting on her to answer my question.

"Well?"

She didn't answer. I rolled my eyes and sat next to her. I put my hand on her thigh, feeling her heat through the denim of her jeans.

"Well?" I said again.

"Well what?"

"Answer my question," I sighed. "What is making you mad at me, now? Movie night or Bella?"

"Jacob, I could care less about Bella Swan or the amount of time that you spend with her," she spat.

"So, you're honestly having a temper tantrum because I forgot about movie night...at my house?" I laughed. "It's not like I left you sitting at a movie theater alone, Leah."

"No, you just left me sitting in your bed."

"I thought you liked being in my bed," I responded softly. "You've never complained about being in my bed before. If you want, we can go back to my bed."

Leah rolled her eyes and pushed my hand off her leg.

"Seriously, Jacob. I'm pissed."

"I can see that," I said. "What I can't understand is why?"

Leah covered her face with her hands and groaned loudly. Then she stood up. Her eyes were angry. Pissed off Leah was so much fun. Plus she looked sexy and exotic when her hair swung wildly as she used all of her body to yell at me. Sometimes, I just make her mad because it's such a turn on.

"You can be such a jerk sometimes," Leah yelled. "You know that, Jacob Black?"

"Yes," I said smugly. "That still doesn't explain why you're mad."

"I'm mad because...I'm mad because you forgot about me!" she yelled. "You've been spending every free minute you have with Bella, doing who knows what, off the rez, and you forgot about me!"

"I have not," I insisted. "No one could forget about you. If anything, you've forgotten about me. I hardly ever see you, Leah."

"Cut the crap, Black," Leah sneered. "Every single day for weeks, you've been with Bella. I see you at school and that's it. You're never home!"

"So, now I can't have friends besides you?" I asked because I knew that's exactly where she was going with this stupid argument. "I'm supposed to sit at home waiting for Leah to finish track practice. Waiting for Leah to finish checking in on Emily. Waiting for Leah and Seth to get back from Seattle. Is that it?"

"Where were you when Emily got attacked?" Leah said calmly. "Where were you when my mom had to rush my dad to the hospital because we thought he was having a heart attack? Where were you when Quil and I went looking for the bear? Where were you when I argued with Sam? Or with Paul? Where were you, Jake?"

I didn't answer. We both knew where I was.

"That's right," Leah said, suddenly calmer than I'd ever seen her. It was unnerving. "You were with Bella because Bella needed you. Because you don't think that Bella would be able to survive without you. And if she's that weak, then fine, be with her. I like Charlie. I don't want to see him all messed up if his dumb daughter goes and offs herself because she got dumped and you're not around."

"Don't talk about her like that," I replied angrily. Leah had no right to be mad at Bella, for any reason. She certainly had no right to belittle her.

"You're defending her?" Leah asked incredulously. "Are you serious?"

"Is she here to defend herself?" I fired back. "And why does it even matter? You are the last person who needs to be worrying about who I spend my time with. Because there was a point when I wanted to spend all my time with you. There was a point when I wanted you to want to be with me as much as I wanted to be with you. You didn't want that, remember?"

"So, is that what you think you're getting with Bella? A girlfriend?" Leah sneered. "Newsflash, Jacob Black. Bella Swan is emotionally unavailable. She doesn't want you like that, either."

I glared at Leah, her harsh words pierced my heart.

"You don't know that." The words slipped out before I could stop them.

A small gasp escaped Leah's lips. She looked at me, utterly surprised. At what, I don't know. She sat back down on the couch next to me.

"I'm right?" she whispered.

I didn't answer. I wasn't sure of my feelings for Bella. I mean, I like her and there was no doubt in my mind that we have fun when we're together. But yes, I really do like being with her. I liked the feel of her hand in mine, the way she leaned her head against my chest when she was sleepy. I liked being the one to make her smile and giggle.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Leah whispered.

"It's none of your business," I grumbled. "I don't have to tell you everything."

"But you promised to tell me if you started liking another girl," she reminded me. "Isn't Bella a girl?"

I was silent. I had broken my promise to Leah. But I hadn't meant to. I hadn't even realized that I liked Bella until Leah brought it to my attention.

"When did you start liking her?" Leah asked.

I shook my head. "Sorry for not telling you," I said. "But I'm not having this conversation with you."

"Why not?" Leah asked. "I'm the one person you should be having this conversation with."

"Why Leah?" I questioned. "It's not like we've done anything in weeks. Just a few minutes ago, you didn't even want me to touch you. Why do you even care?"

Leah raised her eyebrows at me. The expression on her face changed many times from hurt to mad then it softened to concern.

"I care because, despite what you think, you are my best friend. If you like a girl, I should know about it, especially if that girl is Isabella Swan. That girl has the potential to completely break your heart, seeing as she's still in love with Edward-"

I started to deny it but Leah stopped me.

"Don't even go there," she waved her finger in the air. "You and I both know that's why she looks like she's going to bash her head against the wall if someone even says Edward. But if you really want to get involved with that...mess, feel free. Don't say I didn't warn you."

"It's not like that, Leah," I replied. "It's not as serious as you are making it out to be."

"Yes, it is. It's too bad that you don't realize it."

Leah stood up again. This time she walked to the door and opened it.

"Jacob, I meant what I said. You are my best friend. Be careful with Bella. But remember this; I'm here for you no matter what. And I forgive you for breaking your promise. But you also made another promise too," she stated.

I got off the couch and walked over to the door. Leah was gripping the doorknob so tightly that her copper colored knuckles were white like Bella's. She was shivering but she wasn't cold. She was trying to hold back tears.

"Leah," I said softly and wrapped my arms around her. She trembled in my arms. "I remember my promise. I will never leave you...ever."

She sniffed then wrapped her arms around my waist in a tight hug.

"If she hurts you, Jake..." she whispered. "If she hurts you...I don't know what I'll do."

"Leah," I chuckled softly. "I'm a big boy. I won't get hurt." I squeezed her tighter.

"You don't know that," she stated. "And I think that's what scares me the most. You're too good for any girl. Some girl, if not Bella, is going to break your heart. And when they do," she laughed softly. "They'll have me to deal with."

"Such a tough girl." I kissed the top of her head and dropped my arms. "Thank you for looking out for me."

"That's what I do," she answered. "We're Phoebe and Joey, remember?"

"Goodnight, Phoebe."

"Goodnight, Joey," she answered back, sarcastically. But she was smiling. And that was all that mattered to me.

Leah and I could fight, argue, cry, laugh, and be angry with each other but in the grand scheme of things, she was my best friend and I'm hers. There's no way that anyone would be able to come between that. Even if I decided that I wanted more from Bella than just friendship, even if she broke my heart, Leah would be there with an "I told you so" and a broom to pick up the pieces. I was sure of that.

But Bella wouldn't break my heart. She wouldn't even know how I felt until I was sure that I actually had a chance. She was oblivious to everything anyway.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18 **

I need a break.

That's just about what it boils down to. I need to take a break from the bikes, from Bella, from everything. But how? If I tell Bella that I need to be alone for a couple of days she'll automatically think she'd done something to upset me and that wasn't the case. I just need to clear my head; to rearrange my thoughts. How could I approach Bella about my feelings for her? That's what I need to be thinking about so things don't just come gushing out one day while we're together and make us both feel horrible.

One thing is for sure, I totally suck with girls. No matter how many of them like me, I've never felt completely comfortable being myself around any of them. Leah thinks that my awkwardness with other girls is cute because I'm not weird around her, which is true. I don't have to be different around Leah. She knows me...everything about me. We didn't have to go through that strange "getting to know each other" phase. We already knew each other.

With Bella, everything is different. Sure, we played together when we were kids but it's been years, and we're getting to know each other all over again. Everything is so complicated now, with her breakup and my relationship with Leah. But she likes me. That much I can tell. She has her own ways of showing it, of course. She's definitely not as blatant as Leah, that's for sure. I was just too dense to pick up on the signs, the signs that were so obvious to Quil and Leah.

Just as I was agonizing over what to do, Bella called to say that she had to work after school for the next three days. Perfect. That was all the time I'd need, or at least, I'd make it all the time I needed.

****

"Jake, what are we doing here?" Leah asked when I pulled her car in front of Gordy's in Port Angeles.

"Well, you said you didn't want to go to the dance," I shrugged. "We had to do something."

"And this is what you had in mind? Pizza?"

"There's nothing wrong with pizza!" I laughed.

"I had something totally different in mind." Leah was flirting with me again and I liked it.

For a moment I was tempted to pull out of parking space and head back towards La Push. But I had other reasons for bringing Leah here. We could do her plan later…_if _she still wanted to.

Smiling, Leah got out of the car. For once, her aversion to gender specific roles paid off. When she went ahead into the restaurant, I was able to slip her Valentine's Day present – a bracelet that I'd made - under the driver's seat for her to find later.

It was actually the day before Valentine's Day and most of the girls on the rez were spending the day getting ready for the dance that was later tonight. Leah's dance boycott allowed me time to get off the rez too, and at this point, I was willing to do _anything_ to get off the reservation.

Leah and I always have fun together, no matter what we're doing, and today was no exception. We devoured a couple of pizzas, played video games, and goofed around. Spending the day with her was perfect and just the kind of day we both needed. After Gordy's we decided to go back to La Push for a walk on the beach.

Third Beach is one of our favorite places. It's also one of the quietest and most isolated places in La Push where we can go to be alone. Tonight was perfect. The water was dark gray and the perfect moon reflected off the waves.

I grabbed a blanket out of Leah's trunk and we walked along the moonlit beach to our favorite spot, a circle of smooth gray stones surrounding an existing fire circle. We hadn't been to the beach in awhile but someone had used the fire pit recently. We weren't surprised. This spot was perfect for couples to have some alone time…away from the hustle and bustle of First Beach.

Leah helped me gather some driftwood. She covered a huge driftwood tree with the blanket and sat down while I built a fire. As the blue and green flames licked the sky, I sat down on the sand between Leah's legs and watched the waves lapping against the shoreline. It was a few minutes before either us spoke, a comfortable silence where words weren't necessary. We often had times like this, though I couldn't help wondering what Leah was thinking about.

"Another perfect non-date," Leah uttered, as if she had read my mind.

"What do you mean, non-date?" I asked. "This _is_ a date."

"Friends don't date," Leah replied.

I rolled my eyes. "Sure they do. What do you call all those trips to the movies, all the dinners and lunches…the ski trip? If those weren't dates, what were they?"

"They weren't _real_ dates."

"That's because you refuse to let me take you on a _real_ date," I replied sarcastically.

"Jake," Leah said slowly, "must you ruin a perfectly good night by starting _this_ conversation...again."

I wasn't trying to ruin anything. I didn't mean to press Leah on the subject of me and her, but I couldn't help myself. Being with Leah was so easy, practically effortless. I didn't get shy or nervous around her and we had most of the same interests. Plus we care about each other. If she would just choose me over wallowing in misery over Sam, everything would be fine, and I would not have to actually tell _Bella_ how I felt about her. It would become a moot point since I'd be in a relationship with Leah. But she was making things so damn difficult!

"All I'm saying is that we are a perfect match. We should be together and going on real dates," I added.

Leah twirled my hair – pulled back in my usual ponytail – around her fingers and sighed.

"Jacob, don't torture yourself. We both know that you only want me to be your girlfriend because you're terrified to try your dating skills on some other girl…like Bella."

_How did she know that?_ She isn't that good of a guesser.

"I don't know what you're so worried about," Leah continued nonchalantly, still playing with my hair. "You're a good catch. If Bella can't see that, then why are you wasting your time?"

I stared straight ahead, watching the fire. My shoulders tensed which I knew Leah felt against her leg.

"Oh, Jake," she moaned. "You haven't said anything to her yet, have you?"

"No. But I am."

"Yeah right." I didn't have to be looking at Leah to see the smirk on her face. "What are you afraid of?"

"I'm no good at this kind of stuff," I blurted out. "You know that."

"All you have to do is ask her out," Leah replied. "You're not asking her to marry you."

"So," I argued. "And I can't just ask her out. It's more complicated than that."

"No it isn't."

"Well, what should I say?" I asked.

"Ugh," Leah groaned. "I can't believe you're asking _me_ to give _you_ relationship advice."

"It's not like you're not going to need my advice some day," I fired back. "And when you do, I'll tell you what to do."

Leah burst out laughing. "The day that I take relationship advice from you is the day that I drown myself in that water."

"Whatever. What should I do?"

Leah took a deep breath. "My gut is saying 'run for the hills'…" She leaned over and looked at my face and laughed.

"Judging by the look on your face, you're not going to do that."

"Leah, this isn't funny!" I said angrily and turned to face her. "What should I do?" Her sense of humor was not what I needed.

"Fine, Jacob," she replied, a little angry. "If you're not going to take my _best _advice, listen to this. If you insist on being an idiot and going after Bella, then at least take it slow. Don't rush anything with her. Let it happen…_if_ it's going to happen at all…let it happen on its own. Take it slow."

Leah's dark eyes pleaded with me to listen. But there was something else behind them. Sadness. No matter what I said, no matter how many times I promised that she wasn't, Leah still believed that she was losing me.

My heart began to ache as we sat on the beach, once again in silence. What was I doing to my best friend? My feelings for Bella were new and raw. I really liked her but Leah…what I feel towards her was so much more...so much deeper.

I adore Bella. She's fun and kind and beautiful. But she hasn't been there for me like Leah has. She doesn't know me like Leah does. Both girls have been hurt by guys and I refuse to be the next guy to hurt either of them.

Leah wasn't saying anything either but this time, our silence wasn't comfortable. She slid to the sand next to me and covered us both with the blanket. Every once in awhile she'd look at me and I could see the frustration in her eyes. But I didn't know what to say. I had a lot on my mind and she wasn't always the most understanding person

"What is wrong with you?" she finally whispered. "Is this how you're going to be around me from now on? Are you always going to be thinking about _her_?"

"I wasn't thinking about Bella," I finally answered. "I was thinking about you."

"Yeah right," Leah's voice dripped with sarcasm. "Because I've been on your mind so much lately."

"You have been," I said truthfully.

"Why?"

"Because…" I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer until her head was on my chest. "There's sadness in your eyes…a pain when you look at me. And I hate that I'm the one who put it there when I've worked so hard to rid you of the hurt that Sam caused."

Leah shifted out of my arms until her head was lying in my lap and she was staring up at me. The moon beamed off her face, making the tears in her eyes glisten. My heart wrenched when I realized that I'd made Leah cry.

"Jacob," she whispered, the pain in her voice was real. "If there's sadness in my eyes, please believe me when I say that it's not because of you. You never make me sad." She snickered quietly. "A little frustrated. Mad sometimes. But never sad."

But something was making her upset and if it wasn't _me_…

"It's still Sam, huh?" I guessed and Leah nodded. "You still love him." It was more of a statement than a question.

"Yes," she whispered. "I think I always will. But he's with Emily and they are happy. I won't come between them. But it really hurts, Jake. This type of pain…it's something I never want you to feel. And Bella…" she paused and turned her face away, towards the fire.

"And Bella what?" I prompted.

"She's still in love with Edward. She may have feelings for you, but if he comes back, Jake, she'll choose him. Then you'll feel like I do and we'll both be miserable."

"Leah, I'll be fine," I tried to assure her. "Please don't worry about me."

"I'm a Clearwater," she said. "It's what we do."

I placed my hand on Leah's stomach, amazed how firm and toned it was. Running was definitely doing her body good. She reminded me of the girls in the Victoria's Secret catalogues that I stole fro her house. Leah smiled and placed her hands over mine.

"Thank you Miss Clearwater," I teased. "But I'm going to be fine, I promise."

"Okay, Mr. Know-it-all," Leah said, "You'll be fine, alright."

She may have her doubts, but I know that everything is going to work out exactly the way it's supposed to. If Bella and I are meant to be together then we will be. If not...well then, we won't. No one's heart is going to be broken.

****

The next day was Valentine's Day, but most importantly it was homework day with Bella. She was smiling when she pulled in front of my house. Actually, she started smiling when she noticed me standing on the porch when she pulled into the driveway.

Knowing that I had the ability to bring a smile to Bella's usually gloomy face boosted my confidence. It was clear that Bella had feelings for me. I don't know how deep her feelings for me are, but if she could feel for me, half of what she felt for Edward Cullen, I'd be happy.

I felt around in my pocket for the surprise I had for her. Now that I thought about it, the box of candy conversation hearts was so lame. It seemed like a funny idea at the time that Quil and I had bought them for the girls we hung around with. Now it just felt juvenile.

"Happy Valentine's Day," I said, handing her the little pink box anyway. Lame or not, it was a gift, and all girls like gifts.

"Well, I feel like a schmuck," Bella mumbled. "Is today Valentine's Day?"

And just like that my plan backfired. How could Bella be happy about my small token of affection if she didn't even know what day it was?

"You can be so out of it sometimes," I replied. "Yes, it is the fourteenth day of February. So," I said cheerfully. "Are you gonna be my Valentine? Since you didn't get me a fifty-cent box of candy, it's the least you can do," I teased.

"What exactly does that entail?" Bella looked at me uncomfortably, like I'd just asked her to give me her first born child in exchange for the candy.

"You know, the usual...slave for life, that kind of thing."

"Oh," she hesitated then took the box of candy out of my hand. "Well, if that's all," she said and then she started smiling again. "I guess it's alright."

"So, what are we doing tomorrow? Hiking or the ER," I teased again. No matter what we did, we'd probably end up in the ER anyway.

Bella took a minute before deciding. "Hiking," she said decisively. "You're not the only who can be obsessive. I'm starting to think I imagined the place." She frowned.

"We'll find it," I assured her.

Hiking wasn't exactly how I wanted to approach Bella about my feelings for her. She tended to concentrate really hard – on not falling – when we hiked and hardly listened to me at all. But if that's what she wanted to do...

"I hope so," she answered. "But I want to-" she glanced at the house, making sure that Billy wasn't around. "I want to ride again."

"So, bikes on Friday?" I offered but Bella shook her head.

'I'm going to a movie on Friday. I've been promising my cafeteria crowd that I would go out with them."

Her words were rushed, like she was thinking of them as she talked. Was I – and everybody else – wrong about Bella's feelings for me? Why else would she make up plans instead of just telling me that she didn't want to spend the day with me? I was thoroughly embarrassed now. I looked down at the ground, hoping to hide my embarrassment from Bella's intuitive eyes.

"You'll come too, right?" she added, much too quickly. "Or will it be too much of a drag to hang out with a bunch of boring seniors?"

I glanced at her, hoping to read something in her eyes.

"You'd like me to come?" I asked. "With your friends there?" Maybe she wasn't ready to be alone with me. I could understand that. In her own way, Bella was quite shy.

"Yes," she admitted. "I'll have a lot more fun if you're there anyway. Bring Quil, and we'll make it a party."

"Okay, a group date. Sounds fun. Quil's gonna freak," I laughed. "Senior girls. He'll just love that."

"I'll try to get him a good selection," Bella laughed too.

_Hopefully not too many girls...or people for that matter. _But if a group date was all I could get out of the moment, then so be it. I'll take it.

Friday couldn't come quick enough. I wanted everything to be perfect for our first date. Even though it was a group date, it was me and Bella's first official date. I was pumped. Even Quil was excited but it was more about the fact that he would be surrounded by a bunch of pretty senior girls.

I couldn't decide what to wear so I called Quil for reinforcements and to see what he was wearing. I wanted to look good but I didn't want to outshine _everyone._

Quil's mother answered the phone on the second ring. She did not sound happy.

"Jacob, I'm sorry but Quil can't come to the phone. He's grounded."

_Uh-oh_. It sounded like Mrs. Porter, our school principal, had made good on her promise to call our parents about the near fight we'd gotten into the day before. It wasn't even a big deal. It wasn't even as bad as some of the fights that we'd gotten into over the summer with Paul. This time it wasn't even Paul or Jared that we were fighting with, just some silly senior boys who talked too much trash and couldn't back it up.

"He's grounded?" I repeated. "But we're supposed to go to the movies tonight."

"Well, Quil isn't going anywhere. And you…I'm surprised Billy hasn't grounded-"

"Well, thanks Mrs. Ateara," I interrupted quickly. "Tell Quil I'll see him in school on Monday." I hung up in a hurry and dialed the next best person I could think of to help me decide what to wear.

"I'll be right over," Leah laughed when I told her my dilemma.

A few minutes later she walked into my room while I was staring at two pairs of jeans, one black and one blue.

"Whoo-hoo," she whistled. "You should go like that, in your boxers and socks. Bella will swoon over you for sure!"

"Shut up," I said, trying to hide how flattered I was. I kinda liked the idea of my body being a turn on for girls. "Help me."

Leah looked me over then looked at the jeans lying across my bed.

"Hmm, I'm thinking, black jeans, your gray sweater, black boots, and take that stupid rubber band out of your hair. You look sexy with your hair down."

I moved to pick up the black jeans and a sudden wave of nausea overcame me. I sat down on the bed and held my stomach.

"Jake, what's wrong?" Leah was concerned. I was too. I'm hardly ever sick.

"Um, nothing," I lied. "I ate some old chicken earlier. Maybe it was bad."

"Maybe you should stay home," she advised.

"No, I'll be fine," was my reply. I stood up and the nausea passed almost as soon as it came.

"Get out so I can get dressed," I ordered Leah, but she shook her head and plopped down on my bed.

"Puh-leeze. How many times have I seen you naked, Jacob Black? Besides, you need me here to make sure everything looks okay."

"Fine." I didn't feel like arguing about it.

"So, who's all going on this big _group_ date?" Leah asked but I could tell she was just trying to make small talk. She could really care less.

I slipped on the black jeans and stepped into my boots while she watched.

"I don't know, actually. Bella said a bunch of friends from her school. Probably the ones we saw skiing. And I know that Newton guy is coming."

"Oh, the one that likes Bella too?" Leah remembered that I had my suspicions about Mike from the way that Bella talked about him.

"Yeah," I said absently. "Hand me my sweater." Leah tossed the sweater and I put it on over my gray tank. "How do I look?"

"Ponytail," Leah reminded me. "Please, Jake. If you're trying to impress this girl then wear your hair down."

"No," I protested. "I look like a girl with my hair down. It's almost as long as yours."

Leah crawled across the bed and pulled the rubber band holding my hair back out of my hair. My hair cascaded down my back and I grimaced.

"Don't make that face. It's not like I'm putting lip gloss on you."

"You better not!" I jumped back laughing.

"Well, you do look good," Leah approved. "That shirt fits really well. You're bulking up. Have you been lifting weights?"

"No," I joked. "It's from lifting and carrying you."

"What are you talking about?"

"You know," I smirked. "Lifting you up against the car, or against the bleachers. You know, the walls aren't the only thing holding you up when you wrap your legs around my waist."

Leah groaned and looked at the ceiling. "Lord, why does my friend have to be such a perv?"

"Whatever," I laughed. "Anyway, guess what."

"What?"

"The Rabbit's done. I finished her last night," I announced proudly.

"What?" Leah screamed. "You finished it without telling me!"

"I'm telling you now."

"And you're driving it to Forks?" Leah asked. Her face clouded over when she put two and two together. Bella was going to be the first to ride in my car.

"No, you better not!" Leah yelled through clenched teeth. "After all that work I did with you on that car, you better not let _her _ride in it first."

"I'm not," I quickly rebounded. "Didn't you say earlier that you wanted to go see Emily? I was going to take you up there."

Leah raised her eyebrows suspiciously. "Really?"

"Yes. You think I'd really do that to you? After all the work you did? I can be an ass sometimes but I'm not a total jerk. It was a surprise for you too."

_Good save, Jake,_ I thought as I laced up my boots. Leah looked pleased.

I put my wallet in my back pocket, grabbed my jacket with one hand, and Leah's hand with the other.

"Let's go loser."

****

I reached Bella's house before she did. When she pulled up I was leaning against the hood of the Rabbit with my arms crossed like Danny Zuko in _Grease_.

"No way!" Bella shouted as she jumped out of her truck. "You're done! I can't believe it. You finished the Rabbit!"

"Just last night," I beamed. "This is her maiden voyage."

"Incredible," Bella sighed in awe and held her hand up for a high five.

I smacked my hand against hers. She didn't pull away when I twisted my fingers through hers.

"So, I know you said your friend has a Suburban, but I should at least get to drive."

"Definitely," Bella answered. Then she sighed dejectedly.

"What's wrong?"

She threw her other hand in the air – the one that wasn't holding mine.

"I give up. I can't top this one. You win. You're the oldest," she declared as if it wasn't already obvious.

"Of course I am.

Bella released her other hand from mine at the sound of a loud car coming around the corner. I looked up to see a late model Suburban – badly in need of a tune-up – barreling down the street.

"There's Mike," Bella announced.

"Oh yeah, the one who thinks you're his girlfriend. Is he still confused?" I asked. Bella glanced at me and I hoped I hadn't come off as jealous. I wasn't. Mike Newton is no competition, not for me anyway.

"Some people are hard to discourage," was Bella's reply.

"Then again, sometimes persistence pays off," I told her.

"Most of the time, it's just annoying though," Bella added, glaring at Mike as he crossed the street.

We both watched him approach. I would have burst out laughing if Bella hadn't been standing there. The poor guy was trying so hard to look cool. But standing next to me, he looked like a third grader.

"Hey Bella," Mike greeted her. He tried to ignore me but I was close to six inches taller than him. There's no ignoring Jacob Black.

"Hey Mike!" Bella's greeting was a forced cheerful. "Do you remember Jacob Black?"

"Not really," Newton lied. I know he remembered me. He just didn't want to bring up how nervous he was the night we had to look for Bella in the woods.

"I'm an old family friend," I played along and shook hands with the wimpy boy. I gripped his hand with a little more force than necessary. When I let go, I smiled to myself as Mike flexed his fingers. What a wimp! Quil wouldn't have even said ouch.

"Umm, I'll be right back," Bella said. "The phone's ringing."

Bella dashed inside, leaving Mike and I standing outside alone. He was almost afraid to look at me. I laughed, out loud this time.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

I shook my head. "Nothing."

"So, you and Bella are really good friends?" Mike asked, trying to emphasize _friends_.

"Yes. Why'd you act like you didn't remember who I was when she asked?" I asked.

"Have you not noticed?" he asked me. "Bella doesn't remember _anything_ about that night that we found her. Why bring it up again?"

"We?" I raised my eyebrows. Even though it was technically Sam, Paul, and Jared who had found her, I didn't appreciate Mike taking credit for something that a Quileute had done.

"You know what I mean," he replied sheepishly.

"Whatever," I said as Bella came back outside. She looked glum as she stepped in between me and Mike.

"What?" I asked. "What happened?"

"Ang is sick," she said. "She and Ben aren't coming. It was supposed to be the five of us…"

"I guess the flu is making another round. Austin and Conner were out today, too," Mike added. "Maybe we should do this another time."

"Hey, the flu hasn't hit the rez," I smiled. "But I'm still up for it. But if you'd rather stay behind, Mike-"

"No," Mike interrupted anxiously. "I'm coming. I was just thinking of Angela and Ben. Let's go." He started walking towards his Suburban in a huff. I laughed. This was going to be fun.

"Hey, do you mind if Jacob drives since it's just the three of us now?" Bella stopped him. "I told him he could…since he just finished his car. He built it from scratch, all by himself," Bella bragged proudly.

I could tell that Mike didn't want to give up his right to drive and that he didn't like the way Bella was bragging about me. Jacob-1, Newton-0.

"Fine," he snapped.

"Alright, that's settled. Let's go."

Bella smirked at me as she climbed into the front seat of my car while Mike sulked in the backseat.

"So, where's Quil?" Bella asked.

"He's grounded…for fighting in school," I explained.

"Really? Who was he fighting?"

"Actually it wasn't even a real fight. We were just arguing with some guys-"

"Doesn't the radio work in this thing?" Mike interrupted me.

I flashed a look of annoyance – a warning – into the rear view mirror that I know he saw.

"Yes, it works," I replied. "But Bella doesn't like music." Jacob-2, Newton-0.

"Bella?" Mike said to her, looking to her for confirmation.

"He's right," Bella mumbled.

"How can you not like music?" Mike demanded. I almost told him to watch his tone when he spoke to her but decided against it. No need to upset Bella now.

"I don't know," Bella shrugged. "It just irritates me."

He would have known that if he was as good of friends as he wanted to be with Bella. It only took me a few days - months ago – to discover that bit of information.

Mike didn't say another word for the rest of the drive. Instead, I kept up the conversation with Bella, telling her about the almost fight at school and how I couldn't wait for school to be out. When I pulled in front of the theater, Mike practically jumped out of the car before I had even parked. Jacob-3, Newton-0. I handed Bella a ten-dollar bill before they went to buy the tickets.

"What is this?" she asked.

"I'm not old enough to get into this movie," I reminded her. The movie – Crosshairs – was rated R. Despite my height, I was still sixteen and couldn't buy my own ticket.

Bella laughed out loud. "So much for relative ages. Is Billy going to kill me if I sneak you in?"

"No," I snickered. "I told him you were planning to corrupt my youthful innocence. That's why he let me come."

We both laughed but Mike still sulked. I wished he had just stayed behind since his other friends couldn't come, especially if he was going to be such a downer for the entire movie. He hadn't smiled or laughed once since he showed up at Bella's.

The movie was exactly what I expected it to be, violent and lame. I had no idea what prompted Bella to even want to see it. But lately, she'd been all about excitement and adrenaline. A romantic comedy wasn't up her ally. I wouldn't have recommended one anyway.

In the first ten minutes of the movie, four people got shot and one person got beheaded. It was totally gross. I found myself wondering what Leah and Quil would have thought about the movie. They would beg me to tell them about it, because the previews had looked so awesome. I hated to disappoint but we would _not_ be going to see this crap again.

Bella sat between Mike and me, totally engrossed in the movie. Mike just looked nervous. He wasn't even watching the flick. He was staring at the curtain above the screen. _Loser._

"What?" Bella whispered when she caught me laughing at the ridiculous movie.

"Oh, c'mon," I hissed. "The blood squirted twenty feet out of that guy! How fake can you get?" I shook my head as a flagpole speared a man into a wall. "This is so bad."

I rested my arm on the armrest between me and Bella, palm up, waiting for Bella to place her hand in mine. It wasn't like she hadn't done it before. And with Mike in the theater, watching, I knew that her holding my hand would be much more significant. I glanced over at Mike and a rush of anger went through me when I saw this his hand was on the other armrest, just like mine. Who did this clown think he was? _Game on,_ I thought. Bella would choose me over him any day of the week. It was just a waiting game at this point.

Mike gave in first. About halfway through the movie, he pulled his hand back and leaned forward to put his head in his hands. Obviously the movie's gore was too much for him. He looked like he was about to lose his lunch.

"Mike, are you okay?" Bella whispered when he moaned.

I was embarrassed that he was such a pansy when the couple sitting in front of us turned to look at him while he groaned again. He bolted for the door with his hand over his mouth. Bella followed. I had no choice but to go too. I wasn't going to let Mike win.

"No," Bella whispered. "You can stay here. I'll make sure he's okay." But I followed her out the door anyway.

"You don't have to come," Bella insisted. "Get your eight bucks worth of carnage."

"That's okay," I answered. "You sure can pick 'em, Bella. This movie really sucks."

We reached the lobby and saw no sign of Mike. I checked the men's room and sure enough, he was in there, heaving over the toilet. I left immediately.

"Is he in there?" Bella asked.

"Oh, he's in there, alright," I rolled my eyes. "What a marshmallow. You should hold out for someone with a stronger stomach," I advised, even though I was only half-joking. "Someone who laughs at the gore that makes weaker men vomit."

"I'll keep my eyes open for that," Bella said but she smiled at me.

The small, two screen theater was showing _Crosshairs_ on both screens so we were alone in the hallway. It was deserted. I mean, really quiet.

"He sounded like he was going to be in there for awhile," I mentioned to Bella. I sat on a bench against the wall, stretching my legs out comfortably. I patted the seat next to me. Bella hesitated for a second, then sat down next to me with a sigh. As soon as she sat down, I put my arm around her shoulders. She looked like she was so worried about her friend.

_She leaned away._

"Jake," she protested. I dropped my arm. She obviously didn't want to show her feelings for me in front of her friend. Bella was shy like that. I reached for her hand instead. Hand holding was a little more subtle. But she pulled away again. I was confused.

"What?" I said. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. It's just…" she paused, searching for the right word.

"Wait a minute, Bella," I said softly. "Tell me something."

"What?"

"You like me right?" There, I said it. I asked the question that had been lingering between us for weeks.

"You know I do," Bella answered back but her eyes were different, confused.

"Better than that joker puking his guts out in there?" I pointed to the bathroom door.

She sighed. "Yes."

I wasn't trying to make Bella uncomfortable but I had to know where this was going. My feelings for her were real and I had a lot on the line. If she wanted to be with me, I needed to know that. But if Leah was right, that she only wanted to be friends, well, I had to hear _her_ say it.

"Better than any of the other guys you know?"

"Better than the girls too," she stated.

"But that's all." I could tell from her voice and the fact that she added the 'girls' part too, Leah was right. And I hated that Leah was right. But she didn't have to be. I would not live in a world where Leah Clearwater was able to predict my love life…no, I would not.

"That's okay, you know," I assured Bella. "As long as you like me the _best_. And you think I'm good-looking…sort of. I'm prepared to be annoyingly persistent." I smiled.

"It's not going to change," Bella replied sadly. My heart hurt at the sound. I started to get a little angry. But not with Bella.

"It's still the other one, isn't it?" I asked. What was with her and Leah? Didn't they know that holding on to past loves was not the smartest thing to do? And they're smart girls.

Bella cringed. I don't know whether she was reliving the memory of Edward or not. But I'd been very careful not to say his name. I didn't want her to freak out in the middle of the theater like she would have if we were on the rez.

"You don't have to talk about it," I told her. She nodded.

"But don't get mad at me for hanging around, okay? Because I'm not giving up on you, Bella. I've got loads of time."

"You shouldn't waste it on me," she answered, sounding as if she were about to cry. "I'm damaged goods."

The fact that she thought of herself like that made me angry. How could one dumb boy do so much harm to a person as wonderful as Bella?

"It's what I want to do," I said. "As long as you still like to be with me. As long as you aren't too freaked out now."

"I can't imagine how I could _not_ like being with you," she told me. She was sincere when she spoke. She looked at me with troubled eyes. She was worried that I would take her words as rejection. But I didn't. She just wasn't ready. Baby steps are what we needed. We'd get to the place where we wanted to be.

"I can live with that," I informed her and smiled, trying to set her mind at ease.

"Just don't expect more," she warned. She tried to pull her hand away from me but her effort was lackluster. She really didn't want to let go.

"This doesn't really bother you, does it?" I asked, looking down at our interlocked fingers.

"No," she sighed again.

"And you don't care what he thinks?" I jerked my head towards the bathroom. Even if Bella did care, I didn't.

"I guess not."

"So what's the real problem? Why are you acting like I can't hold your hand?"

She looked me squarely in my eyes. Her face was flushed pink.

"The problem is, that it means something different to me than it does to you."

"That's _my_ problem then, right?"

"Fine," Bella grumbled. "Don't forget it though." She was trying to be tough. I witnessed this before. Every girl that I knew thought it was best to act like they didn't want something when they really did. I don't know who wrote their dating handbook but it certainly wasn't a guy.

"I won't." I poked her in her ribs, teasingly. "The pin's out of the grenade for _me_, now, eh?" I was referring to our first bike riding adventure. But in a way, I was quite serious. Bella now knew my intentions towards her. There was no going back for me. But she wouldn't hurt me. She just wouldn't.

I chuckled as Bella rolled her eyes. Still, she didn't let my hand go. _Baby steps._ My finger traced the side of her hand absently. I was more focused on the feeling in my stomach. Something wasn't right. That chicken must have been really bad, though I don't remember it being in the fridge for more than a day or so. I was trying to remember what else I'd eaten when my finger traced a cold spot on Bella's hand. I looked down and turned her hand over to see what I was touching.

The scar was barely visible against her pale skin, but I could feel the long silvery crescent. I'd seen funny scars before but never anything like this.

"That's a funny scar you've got there," I commented. "How'd this happen?"

Bella scowled then looked at the floor, like she didn't want to tell me what had happened to her hand.

"Do you honestly expect me to remember where all my scars come from?" she snapped.

"But why is it cold? Come on, Bells, you gotta remember how this happened," I pressed.

Before she could answer, Mike stumbled out of the men's room. He was sweating and practically gray. Bella jumped up from the bench and ran towards him.

"Oh Mike," she gasped. "Are you okay?"

"Do you mind leaving early?" he whispered unsteadily. He was even wobbling where he was standing. It was such an act, but I had to hand it to him, it took Bella's attention away from me. Jacob-3, Newton-1.

"Movie too much for you?" I jeered heartlessly.

Mike glared at me and I returned the icy look. Two could play his little game. If he was determined to steal Bella away from me, then I'd just make him look like the wimp he is.

"I didn't actually see any of it," he mumbled. "I was nauseated before the lights went down."

"Oh Mike," Bella cooed, sounding more like a concerned mother than an eighteen year old girl who's date had just been ruined. "Why didn't you say something before?"

"I was hoping it would pass."

I rolled my eyes as Bella helped Mike to the door.

"Jus a sec," I said as we all reached the door. I walked back to the concession stand and asked the cashier if I could have an empty popcorn bucket. If he was telling the truth...if he was really sick, I surely didn't want him barfing in my car. I spent a lot of time cleaning and detailing the inside of the Rabbit. Bella's wimpy friend was not about to have my upholstery smelling like vomit.

We climbed into the car and I handed Mike the bucket. He looked at me like he wanted to kill me. I didn't care. I made everyone roll down the windows too. The night air was cool and I know that it was helping me with my own slight nausea. If it was helping me, then if he was really sick, it would help Mike too. Bella was the only one who seemed affected by the chilly air. She curled her arms around her legs to keep warm.

"Cold again?" I put my arm around her to warm her up. I wasn't cold at all.

"You're not cold? It's freezing out tonight," Bella complained. She leaned over and touched my forehead.

"Whoa, Jake, you're burning up!"

"It's nothing, okay," I shrugged. "I feel fine." I wasn't going to let a little thing like a stomachache and a slight fever ruin my night. I wasn't a punk like Mike Newton.

Bella touched my head again. I shivered.

"Your hands are like ice." This time I complained. I motioned for her to roll up her window. But she didn't. As soon as she moved, Mike groaned and threw up in the popcorn bucket. So maybe he _was _really sick. I looked over my shoulder to make sure that all of it went into the bucket.

I rode the rest of the short drive in silence, with my arm around Bella's shoulder. Not once did she brush it off. In fact she leaned against me and welcomed it.

Was I wrong for letting her know how I felt? It felt like she should know. But I didn't want her to think for one second that if she didn't want to be my girlfriend then that was it, when that wasn't the case.

Bella's a good person. I'd be a fool to throw away our friendship over something as trivial as not being in a relationship. But my feelings for her were genuine too. Was it wrong for me to be slightly jealous that she hadn't wanted to be alone with me on this date...that she'd brought along Mike Newton for companionship?

There isn't a boy in Forks or any of the surrounding areas that could be a better boyfriend or friend to Bella than me. I'm the one who was there when she cried over her breakup. I'm the one who sat with her, day after day, and she didn't even realize that I was there. I endured her pain, right along with her. I could read her thoughts better than anyone. I knew what she was feeling without her saying a word. She didn't have to tell me that she didn't like music anymore. The way she wrapped her arms around her body and cringed when a song played showed me that. She didn't have to tell me that there was more to our hiking trips or bike riding. I could see it by the flush of her cheeks, the sparkle in her eyes. The time we spent together meant something and I refuse to let her wallow in misery over a boy who didn't want her when there was no doubt in my mind that I did.

When we reached Bella's house, Bella climbed into the driver's seat of Mike's Suburban. I followed behind them to take Bella back home. She was quiet and thoughtful on the ride back from the Newton's house. I wondered what she was thinking. She was such a good person that she was probably regretting the things she had told me in the theater, about her being damaged goods and not wanting me the same way I wanted her. She wouldn't know how to tell me she made a mistake. She wouldn't know how to admit her feelings for me. I would give her time but I wouldn't stop seeing her, that's for sure.

I pulled up next to her truck and parked my car. My body was burning up. This was more than Leah's theory of increased body temperature. I felt strange, like there was something strange – a foreign substance – coursing through my body. All I wanted to do was get home. Bella would _never _see _me_ throw up.

"I would invite myself in, since we're early," I said, "but I think you might be right about the fever. I'm starting to feel a little strange."

"Oh no, not you too!" Bella wailed and pulled away from me. "Do you want me to drive you home?"

I shook my head. "No. I don't feel sick. Something feels wrong. I don't know what it is. I have to get home and talk to my dad."

"Will he know what's wrong?" Bella's voice was full of concern and _doubt._

"Sure, sure," but I couldn't help but frown. I was hoping my dad would be able to tell me what was wrong. I bit my lip. I needed to get home but there was something that I couldn't leave without saying.

"Bella," I said, stopping her from getting out of the car.

"What is it, Jake?"

"There's something I need to tell you, Bella," I paused. "But it's going to sound kind of corny."

"Go ahead," she coaxed.

I stared straight ahead, too embarrassed to look her in her eyes.

"It's just that, I know how you're unhappy a lot. And, maybe it doesn't help anything, but I want you to know that I'm always here. I won't ever let you down. I promise that you can always count on me."

I took a chance and looked at her, hoping that she wasn't giggling. She wasn't.

"But you know that right? You know that I would never, ever hurt you? You know that you don't have to be afraid when you're with me."

"Yes, Jacob," she answered. "I know that. And I already do count on you, probably more than you know."

I smiled, harder than I think I've ever smiled before. Bella needed me. No matter what she said in the theater, the truth was that she needed me. I was right about my feelings for her and her's for me. But my happiness was short-lived as a searing pain coursed through my body. I wanted to cry out but I held my tongue.

"I really think I'd better go home now," I told her.

Bella hopped out of the car and I pulled off, the last words I heard was her yelling for me to call her.

I made it back to La Push in record time. The pain I was in was excruciating. I never felt anything so painful in my life. It felt like acid, not blood, was running through my veins. Plus I was super hot. Sweat was pouring off me as I practically stumbled into the house.

"Jake, what's wrong?" my father asked worriedly. The fear in his eyes settled when Sam put his hand on my dad's shoulder.

"What are you doing here?" I choked out.

"Just talking to your dad," Sam answered. "What's wrong? How are you feelings?"

"Leave me alone," I managed to whisper and pushed past him into my room.

"He'll be okay," I heard Sam say to my father. "Give him a minute. I'm going to get the others."

The front door banged shut. I threw open my window and stripped down to my underwear. The cool air felt like silk against my body. For the first time that day, since I'd started to feel sick, I was genuinely scared. This was more than a simple stomach flu. Something was seriously wrong with me!

Ten minutes later, I heard my dad's soft knock on my door. I didn't want him to see me looking so miserable. It would only make things worse. I threw on a pair of sweatpants and sat on my bed.

"Come in," I managed to say, though it felt like my tongue was too big for my mouth.

The door opened and Billy eased his chair through the doorframe. He looked very calm and serene for a man whose only son was dying.

"You don't look good, Jake."

"I don't feel good, Dad. I think I might have to go to the hospital. I feel like any second I'm going to combust into a ball of flames."

"You're not going to combust," my dad chuckled. "I know you don't want to hear this, Jacob, but have you read that journal I gave you?"

I shut my eyes tight and groaned. What was he talking about? I was lying on my bed, sweating buckets, in some serious pain, and my father's asking me about a stupid book?

"No, dad, I have not read that journal," I snapped. "I'm dying here, not thinking about a damn thousand year old journal! But while I'm in the hospital, I'll be happy to read it to pass the time."

"It's too late to read it now," my father stated. "If you had read it, you'd know that you aren't dying."

"Then you tell me what's happening to me," I yelled. I felt my fingers start to twitch and I balled both of my hands into fists to keep them from twitching. "You read the book. You know!"

"I don't have all the details," my dad answered. "But there's someone who does. Look to Sam, Jake. He can help you."

I hopped up from the bed. My entire body was shaking. This was absurd! My own father's reaction to my illness was crazy. And telling me to get answers from Sam of all people. I didn't have what he had. I'm not on drugs!

"I can't believe you said that!" I yelled. "Don't you care about me at all? Forget Sam! Call a damn doctor! Please Dad!"

My dad wheeled closer to me but he didn't seem all that concerned about getting me any medical attention. This made me even madder. What had I done to him?

"Jake, calm down. Everything's going to be fine?"

"Fine? Do you see me dad? Do you see what's happening to me?"

I unclenched my hands so he could see how tight and drawn my muscles were and I wasn't even flexing. My skin stretched across my arms like it was going to burst any second.

"Jake, please calm down. Sam's on his way back. He'll explain everything."

"Sam can kiss my ass!" I roared and pushed past my father. I stormed out of the back door and into the night air. I walked toward the trees. The cold air felt so good. I could feel my muscles loosening as I walked. I planned on walking to Quil's house to get his mom. She would help me. Mrs. Ateara used to be a nurse. She would see me and instantly know that something was terribly wrong.

I started walking in that direction. Four shadows crossed through the trees. I made them out clearly. It was Sam and his gang. I kept walking, deeper into the trees. They followed me. I kept walking. I had someplace to go. I couldn't or wouldn't stop for them. I kept walking but when I went left, so did the four of them. I went to my right, they did too. I could hear them behind me even though they weren't talking. I had to get away from them. No matter what my father thought, there was nothing Sam or his crew could do for me. I needed medical attention, not his mind games. I started to jog. It was cowardly to run from them but at this point I didn't care.

"Jake, stop!" I heard Sam yell. "We just want to talk."

I kept running. Soon I heard four sets of feet running after me. I stopped running and spun around to face the on comers.

"What the hell do you want?" I yelled. The anger I felt over them following me, the anger I had over their very presence overcame me and I clenched my fists against the twitching of my hands. The searing pain rushed back and I fell to my knees as the rest of my body started to shake.

"Stay back," Sam said to Jared, Paul, and _Embry,_ holding his arms out to keep my friend from coming to help me.

A painful fire trembled down my spine, causing my arms and legs to spasm out of control. The heat flooded through me. The trees and rocks began to move...to shimmer like I was looking at them through a cloud of smoke. Then everything went white. I closed my eyes tightly, wishing that I was dead. My body shook violently like I was having a seizure.

"Embry, move away," Sam ordered.

Through my pain, I heard Paul laughing. "He's about to blow!"

White hot anger overcame me and I lunged for Paul. Before I could reach him, MY BODY EXPLODED!

* * *

_**Author Notes:**_

_**All I have to say is keep reading...it's gets better! I posted chapters 18 and 19 at the same time because I couldn't leave you guys hanging like that.**_


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19 – Revelations**

_I'm not dead._

That was my very first thought. No, I wasn't dead. I could hear. I could see. I could smell. I could breathe. But something wasn't the same. I was no longer Jacob Black, a normal sixteen year old boy. My body had exploded. In its place was an animal.

_I was an animal!_

I tried to scream. What came out was a ferocious growl. I stumbled backwards on four large hairy paws. What the hell happened! A searing hot pain, a flash of white light and then this! _I was a freaking dog!_ This is bullshit!

I heard a breathing then a thumping sound, like the sound of multiple heartbeats. Wait – I _heard_ heartbeats? Who or what hears _heartbeats_? I looked around trying to find the source of the noise. The forest looked different, yet it was the same forest I'd been exploring my entire life. Even in the darkness I could make out every leaf on every tree, every piece of bark. I could see every rock on the ground. It was like looking through a brand new set of eyes.

"Jared, Paul, Embry, step back," Sam's voice boomed in my ears. "I'm going to phase and calm him down."

I watched as Paul and Jared stepped away from their leader. Embry was staring at me with a strange grin on his face. I growled again. _What the hell was he so happy about?_

Sam took a few strides towards me. That's when I realized that the four of them weren't nearly as close as I thought. All four boys were at least fifty yards away. I stepped back again, a low snarl deep in my throat. I had no idea what was going on but I knew that I didn't want Sam _anywhere_ near me.

"Jake, it's okay," I heard Embry say. "Sam's going to help you."

I roared in frustration and turned to run away.

"Jake! Chill out!" was Paul's angry yell. "We're the only ones who can help you."

"Jacob!" Sam was the only one who was calm and not yelling. "Don't run away. It won't help."

"Just phase, Sam!" Jared yelled impatiently. "You know he doesn't know what's going on, and if he runs away he'll most likely get his self shot!"

"Jacob," Sam said to me. I growled.

"Alright then," Sam stated, and I watched as his body trembled. In a blinding flash his body exploded too! When I opened my eyes, a huge black _wolf_ was standing just a few feet away from me! _What the hell?_

_Jacob._ I heard my name in the air coming from Sam's direction. Impossible. Animals can't talk.

Sam took a couple of steps towards me. Instinctively I crouched, ready to attack. I had no idea where these instincts were coming from. All I know is that the only feeling that went surging through me was the urge to fight.

_Jacob_, I heard again. _Do not attack me. Let me help you_.

_How is he doing this_, I wondered. This had to be a dream. Boys only turned into animals in movies. This could not be real. _Wake up Jacob!_ I yelled in my head, because of course, I couldn't say it out loud.

_Jacob, you're not dreaming_, I heard Sam's voice again. _But you've got to calm down and let me help you._

_How the hell are you doing this? Animals cannot talk!_

_I'm not talking._ Sam's voice was light with a hint of humor. I didn't find anything about this funny.

_You're not talking either, Jake. I can hear what you're thinking, just like you can hear me. This is how we communicate when we're like this._

_What the hell are you talking about?_ I wanted to yell, to scream…something, but the only thing that came out was a vicious roar. The wolf that was Sam took two steps backwards.

_Jake, I can't help you like this. I need you to phase back so we can talk._

He wasn't making any sense. What did "phase back" mean? It didn't sound like "wake up" to me. Still in my attack crouch, I started towards Sam. This was just a dream, right? And if the only way to end this nightmare was to destroy the thing in front of me…so be it. I lunged.

The giant black wolf growled and with one swipe of his enormous paw, I was soaring backwards in the air, a sharp pain in my chest. I landed on all fours, prepared for a fight.

_Jacob! Calm down! Listen to me - this is not a dream! And you DO NOT want to fight me, I promise you._

I didn't think about what he said for even a second. I wasn't scared of Sam Uley in real life, and I definitely wasn't afraid of him, in whatever form he was, in a fever induced dream. I wanted to wake up. I was going to rip his head off in order to end this craziness.

I lunged for him again as Sam crouched in a defensive stance. He leaped and we crashed into each other mid-air. The sound was deafening to my now sensitive ears. We landed in a tangled heap of fur and claws. I snapped at him, grazing one of his hind legs with my razor sharp teeth.

_Stop it!_ I heard another voice. _Sam, you know he's confused. Why the hell would you fight back?_

I looked around. Another wolf was standing over me and Sam. He was large too, but not as big as us. His fur was a mix of gray and orange. The wolf's chest puffed out in anger. _Embry?_

_Jake,_ I heard the voice of my best friend. Was I hearing his thoughts too?

_Jake, listen and do what Sam tells you_, Embry urged.

I growled_. I will not do anything he tells me to do. _

_I have no choice, Jake. And now, neither do you._

Sam was panting heavily. I couldn't tell if he was mad or tired. He stepped between me and Embry.

_Jacob, you have two choices. You can stay upset and remain a wolf forever. You can run off on your own and probably end up dead, shot by some foolish hunter looking for giant bears._

_Or you can calm the hell down, phase back into human form, go back to your dad and sleep in your own bed instead of on the ground._

Of course, the second part sounded ideal, but there wasn't anything that Sam could say that could convince me that I wasn't already sleeping, whether in my own bed or in a hospital bed. But I decided to play along.

_Fine! How do I phase back?_

_Calm yourself. Take deep breaths until your heartbeat slows. Once it slows to a point where you can barely hear it, you'll be able to phase back. Watch._

It only took a few seconds, a few deep breaths and suddenly Sam's body trembled, like a dog shaking off water, and then he was a man again, completely naked, but he was Sam again. He didn't look hurt or like he had any broken bones. He picked up a pair of jeans and slid them back on.

_Your turn, Jake_, Embry said. _I'll phase with you. Just follow my lead. Do what I do_.

My heart was pounding at a rapid pace. Even as I tried to breathe, I couldn't slow my heartbeat.

_Em, this isn't working!_

_It's okay_, he said. _It took Sam a week before he was able to phase back. It only took me a couple of days._

_A couple of days!_ I didn't want to be like this for even a few more minutes. Determined, I took deeper breaths and tried to clear my mind. I started to think about Bella and what had happened in the movie theater and afterwards. She seemed so…desperate…for me to be her friend. She needed me and I couldn't stay like this. I couldn't walk up to Bella's house as a wolf. She would flip!

_That's not helping, Jake_, Embry groaned. _Can you please think about something else? And please not Leah either. I don't want to have that image in my head._

_You heard that?_ I was dumbfounded. I wasn't "speaking" directly to him.

_Yes, I can hear everything you're thinking. There are no secrets in this pack. Hearing Sam go on and on about Emily is a real drag._

_Damn, man, now I can't have any private thoughts anymore?_

_You learn to control it…quickly. Most of the time we're running or looking for something so there's not a lot of thinking going on. You're pretty calm now_, he added.

_Yeah._ I could feel my heartbeat slowing. Embry's too. Sam, Paul, and Jared were still watching us. _Talking to you is helping._

_It gets much easier, Jake. Just keep breathing._

I was beginning to understand now. This wasn't a dream. This was actually happening. And the only way to control it was to phase back into Jacob, the boy.

_What do you usually think about in order to calm yourself down?_

_Food._ Embry laughed in his head_. Emily makes the best blueberry muffins. She fixes us breakfast every morning._

I laughed. It would be food that brought Embry back to his human form. He never stopped eating. I felt a slight shudder in my body and I shook myself. The next thing I knew I was laying on the ground in the fetal position. Embry was standing over me, holding a pair of sweats and sneakers.

"Welcome to the wolf pack, Jake," Jared greeted me.

"Go home, get some rest," Sam ordered. "We'll talk in the morning."

I didn't want to talk in the morning. I wanted to talk _now_! But when I tried to protest, I couldn't. My defiant "No" lodged in my throat and wouldn't come out.

"Sam gave an order," Embry explained when he saw the disgruntled look on my face. "When he gives an order, it's impossible to question it or disobey. You gotta go home now. I'll come with you if you want."

I looked at the others. For the first time they didn't look as menacing, or like a cult. It was weird but I felt an instant bond with them. And no matter what Sam had ordered, I didn't want to be away from them, any of them, including Sam. I wanted him to explain what had happened to me and why. But most of all, I didn't want to be left alone without them..._the wolf pack_, as Jared had called them.

"Jake," Jared spoke up. "Sam's right, you know. You need some rest. It'll be okay. We're not going anywhere. We'll see you in the morning."

"Bright and early too," Paul added. "We're up when the sun rises. Emily's cooking breakfast. We have to celebrate. We've been waiting a long time for you."

Under any other circumstances, I would have punched Paul in the face for making such a gay sounding comment. But he made perfect sense. Even without knowing everything, I understood what he meant.

Embry and I started walking through the woods towards my house. Everything was so different. Even back in my own body, I could still hear everything, the flutter of the lightning bugs' wings to the rustle of the wind chimes on the Clearwaters front porch.

"This is so strange," I said in awe when I caught the scent of food cooking in my own house even though we were almost a hundred yards away.

"Tell me about it," Embry agreed. "But it's actually pretty cool. When we're wolves, it's utterly amazing how fast we can run. You could beat Leah in a footrace now. And you won't be tripping over your own feet anymore."

"You like being like this?" I asked in disbelief. How could anyone like turning into a creature from a horror movie, because that was what we were..._werewolves_.

"It takes some time to get used to, Jake. But it's not so bad. Nothing really changes when we're human. We just have a secret that no one else has. We're actually pretty special but I'll let Sam explain all that. It's his job."

I raised my eyebrows at that. "His job?"

"Yes," Embry nodded. "Sam's the leader of the pack."

I should have known. In fact, I did know. It was just different, having it confirmed and all. I sighed. Looks like I was going to have to join Sam's cult after all.

We walked up the porch and into the house. My dad was sitting in the living room, ending a phone call. We caught the tail end of it.

"No, we're fine," my dad said. "Stay at your place. Bye Bella." He hung up the phone and sat it in his lap and looked at me.

"Son," he started.

"I'm okay, Dad. I guess."

Billy grinned. "Do you still want to go to the hospital?"

Embry laughed but I didn't. This was still not a laughing matter.

"You knew about this?" I accused my father. "You knew that I was going to turn into a _werewolf_?" I could feel myself getting angry. My body started to quiver, like a small electric current was coursing through me. Of course, my blood was boiling.

"Jake," Embry whispered, suddenly afraid. He stepped behind my father's chair and pulled it away from me.

"Son," my dad said sternly. "Calm down. You cannot phase in here and destroy our home."

It didn't seem like I could control it as my body heated up and the pain began.

"Jake, if you're going to do that, go outside," Embry shouted. "You'll hurt Billy."

_Hurt my dad_? Then it all clicked into place. That's what had happened in Port Angeles, during our ski trip. Sam had gotten so angry with me that his body started to shake. It _was_ a good thing that Emily had been there! The same thing with Paul and Quil on the bleachers that day. I remembered Sam kept telling Paul to calm down. Now I knew why.

My heart skipped a beat when it registered. _Emily!_ That's what had happened to Emily. She hadn't gotten mauled by a bear. She'd gotten mauled by Sam! And to think, I was about to do the same to my own father. The thought was too wretched to contemplate, and I took two deep breaths to slow my beating heart. The shuddering stopped completely. Embry looked at me in awe.

"Wow," he breathed. "How'd you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Control yourself? None of us were able to control our tempers like that the first time. Some of us still can't."

I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know. All I knew is that I didn't want to hurt my father."

"That's amazing!"

My dad looked back and forth between me and Embry before he spoke.

"Embry, can you leave us alone for a moment. I'd like to speak to Jacob."

"Sure, Billy. I'll be outside, if you need me."

The front door slammed shut even though it didn't even look like Embry had closed it that hard. My dad stared at the door, quivering in the doorframe.

"That boy sure is strong now. Have a seat, son," he said to me.

I sat on the couch. My dad wheeled his chair around the coffee table and stopped a few feet away from me.

"What do you want to talk to me about? That stupid book I didn't read?" I asked sarcastically.

"No," Dad shook his head. "I want to talk to you about our family and why this happened to you."

"Okay...talk."

My dad took a deep breath. "You know our lineage. You know that your great grandfather was Chief of our tribe."

I nodded. How could I forget? The Blacks were legendary on the reservation. Everyone knows the story of Chief Ephraim Black. He's the reason my father is so well respected around here.

"He was also...the leader of the last pack. The legends, the scary stories, as you call them, are in fact true. They are the history of our tribe."

"So we really did descend from wolves?" It was still odd to hear but after what happened to me not even a half hour ago, I sort of believed him.

"Not exactly. Our tribe didn't evolve from wolves. The Council will assemble to tell all of you the story...the history of the spirit warriors. But know this, Jacob. You are human, you are flesh and blood. As with my grandfather, the spirit of the wolf lives within you, and Sam, and Jared, Paul and Embry. It is not a curse, but an honor. The highest honor of any male in the tribe. Your ancestors have passed along a great gift."

"But why us?" I questioned. "There's a hundred boys on this reservation. Why did this happen to us?"

"The last time this tribe had Protectors; there were only three men who were born with the gift of the spirit wolf. Ephraim Black, your great grandfather, Quil Ateara, your mother's grandfather, and Levi Uley, Sam's great grandfather."

"Old Quil is my great grandfather?"

"No son, I'm talking about Old Quil's father. You're best friend, Quil, is actually your second cousin."

"What?" I was dumbfounded. How did sixteen years go by and no one ever tell us this?

"Yes, son. And when the time comes, Quil will join your pack. It's in his blood, like it's in yours and Sam's."

"But what about Paul, Jared, and Embry? If their great grandfather's weren't in the pack, how come they got the spirit wolf thing?" the air quotes I made around the words spirit wolf irritated my father. He frowned at me, probably thinking I wasn't taking him seriously. But I just turned into a giant wolf. How could I not take him seriously?

"We're not sure about that," my father admitted. "Something is causing the size of the pack to grow. The spirit wolf picks the strongest of the tribe so that the lineage will continue."

"Dad, this is too much to take in right now," I muttered. "I can't handle all of this. Can I please go?"

"Sure, get some rest."

I went into my room and sat on my bed. Everything that had happened, from the change in the woods to what my dad had explained to me was too overwhelming. I wasn't ready for this.

A few minutes later, my bedroom door opened and Embry walked in.

"Are you okay?" he asked as he sat on the floor next to my bed. Since none of us had much furniture in our rooms, there was usually only one place to sit...the bed. But we had a rule – NO BOYS ALLOWED ON THE BEDS. It was quite okay for Leah to come over and make herself comfortable on my bed. It was not okay for Quil or Embry, or any other guy for that matter.

"I guess so. This is all so freaky."

"You got to stop thinking about it like that," he said. "Think about what your father said. It's not really that bad. We're kinda special around here. We're almost as important as the Council."

"Really?" I was shocked to hear that. No one on the rez was more respected than the Council Elders. To think that people would look up to me like they did my father was a bit exciting.

"Yeah. The Council actually goes to Sam before they make any type of tribal decision."

"Why?"

"I don't know," Embry answered. "Sam keeps telling us that they'll explain everything once you change. I guess that'll be soon, now."

I thought about what he said for a minute. What was so important about _my_ change? I understand that my great grandfather and my father are very important to the tribe but me?

"Em, what was it like for you?" I wanted to know. "You know…phasing?"

"Scary as hell!" he laughed. "I felt everything that you felt. Luckily for me, when I phased, the others were already in the woods so they heard me."

"Why were they there?" I was curious to know the answer to that. It seemed like Sam and the gang were always in the woods.

Embry shrugged. "At first I didn't know why they were there. But Sam explained that he caught a scent that he didn't recognize…an intruder on our land…and they all went looking for the source. I was taking a walk in the woods because my mother had pissed me off."

I laughed. Mrs. Call had a knack for irritating her only son. "What did she do?"

"She didn't believe me when I told her I was sick," Embry answered. "She thought I was only saying it because I didn't want to go to school." He laughed again. "Boy, was she wrong."

"Then what happened?" I was eager to hear all of their stories. The fact that Embry had felt like me was slightly comforting.

"Well, of course they were wolves and could hear everything I was thinking. They came running and even though I was a wolf, they scared the shit out of me! I was so freaked out that it took two days before I could calm myself down long enough to phase back. Sam stayed with me. He showed me a lot of wolf stuff, like hunting and defending myself. He was great. And eventually I calmed down and was able to go home. I caught hell from my parents for going missing for two days but Sam took the rap for it. He told them he'd taken me hunting…which was true."

I couldn't believe that Sam was turning out to be a good guy. As much as I wanted to hate him, this wasn't his fault. Now that I was a part of his pack – I guess that's what I was – I realized that he wasn't as bad as I originally thought. He was the only one who knew everything. He was who I needed to talk to.

"So, besides the "spirit wolf" gene," I said, "what triggers this?"

"For most of us, it's anger or excitement," Embry started to explain. "Any rush of adrenaline that causes our heart to race can put things in motion, until we learn how to control it."

"Like Sam?"

"Yeah, kind of. But Sam still has his moments. It takes _a lot _of effort." Embry looked down at the floor, suddenly depressed.

"What?"

"The worst part of all of this…" he paused. "Well, phasing is so unstable. It can happen anytime, anywhere. It makes it hard to be around people." He looked up at me.

"That's why I couldn't be around you and Quil. Even though Sam knew you and him were going to change, it was still too dangerous. I could have really hurt you guys. Can you imagine what would have happened if I had phased in your garage? You could be dead now."

"That's why you were always with Sam and them," I realized.

"That's part of it. It's safer to be with the pack because they all know when it's about to happen. But there's more. I think you felt it a little...earlier. It's like we're all connected. Being away from them is not a good feeling."

I had felt that. There was an easiness that I felt in the forest, like I had something that I've never had before…_brothers_. I wasn't keen on the idea of turning into a wolf but it was obviously not something I could take back. But I did like the feeling of brotherhood I immediately felt back there in the woods.

Before I could put that thought into words, a soft rap at my window interrupted our conversation. _Leah_. A shudder of fear went through me as Leah climbed through the window. I remembered Embry's words.

_It wasn't safe for us to around people._

There was a chance that Leah could say or do something – a very high chance – that would get my heart racing and I would phase right then and there. I wouldn't be able to stop it. I wouldn't be able to keep from hurting Leah. She had to leave.

"Hey guys," she said cheerfully and noticed Embry on the floor. "Boy, am I glad to see you two are talking again."

"Leah," I said. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, Billy wouldn't let me in. He said you were getting some rest. But I wanted to see how the date went. Did you tell Bella how you feel?"

It was painful to hear Leah's chipper voice, her over curiosity…to see her brilliant and eager smile and know that I couldn't be around her. That there was a chance that I wouldn't be able to be around her for a long time.

"Leah, you have to leave," I said, my voice slightly above a whisper.

"Why?"

"Because you don't need to be here...right now," I added.

"And why not?" she asked again. "How come you don't want me here?"

My words caught in my throat when I tried to answer. I didn't want to lie to her because truthfully, I did want her there. After the night I'd had, with the Bella situation and now the wolf thing, I needed her. But it wasn't safe for her to be around me and there was no way that I'd hurt her…_ever_.

"Leah," I snapped. "Just go. I'll call you when I can!"

She looked at me; the hurt was evident in her dark eyes. "You're really going to kick me out?"

"I'm not kicking you out. I'm asking you to leave."

"That was not asking," she argued.

"Leah…please," I practically begged, while trying to keep my heartbeat at a moderate pace. "Do me a favor and go home. I'll call you tomorrow."

"Whatever," she replied and threw open the window. "Don't do me any favors."

She climbed out of the window. I heard her feet pounding on the grass as she ran towards her house. I wanted to go after her and apologize but I knew that I couldn't.

"It gets easier, Jake," Embry promised. "But no matter what, you can't tell her what happened. We can't tell anyone."

"We can't…ever?"

Embry shook his head. "Nope. Sam's orders. And when Sam gives an order, it must be obeyed."

Embry stood up then and started towards the door.

"I should go home too. Try and get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning."

He left and I laid back on my bed. Sleeping or at least trying to was useless. There was too much going on in my head for me to even think about sleeping. I was glad that I was lying in my own bed, in human form, so the others couldn't hear the thoughts that tormented me.

I was a monster. A creature that terrorized people. A creature from all of the movies that I was so fond of. How could anyone accept this? What did it mean now? Would I ever have any other friends or would my only friends be the other monsters? Probably not since I couldn't even be around people anymore. Did people include my father, who was helpless to defend himself against an unstable and angry werewolf? What would happen to me now?

The questions kept coming and I did not have an answer to a single one. At least twice during the night I heard my father's wheelchair in the hallway outside my door. He didn't knock and he didn't come in. Was he scared of me now?

Before the sun rose, I literally heard the reservation coming to life. I heard movement in the forest, birds chirping like something awful had not happened during the night. It bothered me that life could move on as if nothing had changed when so much had changed through the night.

I climbed out of my bed and walked out of my room. My dad was sleeping in his chair in the living room. I felt bad. He was so worried about me that he didn't even go to bed. But I couldn't help that. I was worried about me too. I pushed his chair into his bedroom. He woke up when I lifted him out of the chair.

"Go to bed, Dad," I told him as I sat him in the bed. "I'll be fine. I'm going to go find Sam."

"Everything's going to be fine," he said sleepily. For a minute I believed him. Only for a minute though.

I sat on the porch, staring blankly at the rising sun, the same questions from last night swirling through my head. I still didn't have the answers and I was sure that no one else did either. Maybe Sam would be able to tell me something…anything was better than nothing. I heard footsteps approaching and looked up. Sam was walking down the street…alone. I hopped off the porch to meet him.

"Morning," he said when I approached. "Did you sleep?"

"Of course not," I answered with surprisingly no animosity in my voice.

We started walking together towards Emily's house.

"I know you have questions," Sam stated. "I'll try to answer them as best as I can. But there are some things I need to explain that might help."

"Well, my dad explained a lot last night," I told him. "He told me about the "spirit wolf" and all that…about Ephraim Black, and your great grandfather."

"Well, if you understand that, then there isn't much else I can say about it. The Council pretty much told me the same thing."

"I don't know if I can do this," I admitted. "How do I go back to being just plain ol' Jacob?"

Sam shook his head but the grin on his face was not comforting.

"Sorry, Jake. But you'll never be plain ol' Jacob Black again."

"That's what I was afraid you'd say," I groaned. "So, you're the leader right? Everyone follows your orders, is that how it works?"

"There's a certain…dynamic…to the tribe and to the pack," Sam explained. "That's how come I knew that you would change. I had no idea about Jared and Paul, but you…we all knew that you were going to change, it was just a matter of time."

"Yeah, because of my great grandfather," I interrupted. They didn't need to keep reminding me of that.

"Yes," Sam agreed. "Our great grandfathers made up the last pack. But Levi wasn't the leader…Ephraim was. He was the Alpha."

"Alpha?" I was confused. What the hell was an Alpha?

He saw the confused look on my face and continued.

"I don't know where the name came from. But it means first. The Alpha is the leader of the pack…and technically the Chief of the tribe, like Ephraim Black."

"So you're the Alpha?" I chuckled. Wow, that was a huge responsibility. We hadn't had a chief in forever, and now Sam had to be the tribal Chief. Interesting.

"Yeah, something like that. Our pack is larger than the last one so we have to have a more formal structure than before. An Alpha and a second in command…or Beta, as Jared calls it."

"So, you're the Alpha and Jared's the Beta?" I raised my eyebrows. I couldn't imagine anyone ever listening to anything Jared commanded.

"I was the first to change so technically, that's how it should go," Sam spoke softly. I could tell that there was something else behind his words…something that I would not like.

"What?" I hesitated to ask.

Sam stopped walking and stared at me. "Jacob, Ephraim Black was the last Alpha and Chief. His descendants are the leaders of this tribe. "

Was he saying what I think he was? My bloodline, my lineage, was the reason I had spent the last twelve hours in complete agony and confusion. And now, Sam was telling me that because of my bloodline, I was to be the leader of our tribe.

"No," I growled.

"Jake, it's in your blood. You're the rightful leader of the pack…the Alpha."

I shook my head fiercely. "No! I don't accept that!"

"It's not something you can _not_ accept, Jacob. It is what it is."

"No! I can refuse. I may not be able to do anything about being a wolf, but I can refuse to be leader or chief of anything! You do it. I don't want it, Sam. I don't want it." I said that last part with so much intensity that my heart started to pound in my chest. The all too familiar heat was back. The change was coming and there was nothing I could do to stop it. But I couldn't change right here in the middle of the street. I took off towards the woods. I heard Sam running behind me and sped up.

The forest was a blur as I raced through it. The fiery heat was taking over my body. There was no way I could outrun it. I stopped running and let the change happen.

Through my animal eyes, I saw shreds of what used to be my sweatpants. My body was tense and unnatural. Of course it was unnatural. Like a dog, I stretched my front legs and then my hind legs. The tightness of my muscles eased.

_Jake_, I heard and I knew that Sam had phased too, once we were safe in the forest, out of view of the rest of reservation.

_What?_ I was getting used to not talking out loud. I think that if we could talk in our wolf form, it would be even more freakier. At least being able to hear each other and not have to bark or growl implied that we were still a little human.

I could hear him approaching on my left. I turned my head.

_Don't attack_, he warned.

_I'm not. Why do you keep saying that? Why would I attack you and I know you're there?_

_You don't know how many times Jared and Paul attacked me before they got used to the idea. It's a good thing we heal fast._

_Heal fast?_

_There's so much you don't know,_ Sam answered. _But if you just give us a chance, we'll show you. It's not as bad as you think._

_Yeah, that's what Embry says too. But no more talk about this Alpha thing okay? I don't want it, Sam. It's all yours._

_I don't know how that works. But we'll talk to the Council about it. _

_The Council_…as if they knew everything. Even if they did, they sure as hell wouldn't allow me to give up my rightful place amongst our people. My father's words came rushing back to me. He knew what would happen once the change occurred. He wanted me to be leader…he would not be happy to find out that I refused to do it.

_You're right_, Sam's voice was in my head again. _He's not going to be happy. But he loves you and he'll understand, if you explain it to him right. But _you_ have to do that._

I looked at Sam. He was huge! Much bigger than any wolf I've ever seen. I felt small compared to him…inferior. He had the eyes and soul of a leader. How could anyone ever expect that from me?

_It didn't come naturally_, he thought. Then his thought trailed off as the sound of crunching wood stopped him. We were not alone.

_They're here_, Sam's thought washed over me. _Can you hear them?_

_Yeah._

_Can you tell how far they are from us?_

I listened for a minute. I heard the sound of twelve paws running on wet grass. They weren't far.

_About fifty yards?_ I guessed.

_Try a couple of miles,_ was Sam's reply.

_Hey! How come y'all are out here?_ I heard Embry's mental voice. _And why so far away from the rez?_

_Sam, Emily is mad! She said she doesn't cook enough food to feed an army for you to let it get cold_, was Paul's recognizable voice.

The three other wolves joined us shortly in the small clearing. It was the first time seeing all of them in this form. Everyone was so big!

_You're big too Jake_, Jared said. _And don't sound so gay, please. Your adoration is gross._

I growled.

_What are you going to do?_ Jared jeered. _You can't fight yet._

_Instincts_, I thought and lunged for Jared. I was testing my strength against a well developed wolf but I was no match for him. He leaped out of the way as I went crashing into a tree. I yelped in pain. Everyone else was laughing.

_Told you._

I growled again and shook leaves and dirt out of my very shaggy fur.

_Can we go eat, please?_ Embry begged. _Emily was about to cook the eggs when we left. If we run, they'll still be hot when we get there._

_Okay,_ Sam agreed. _Let's show the pup what we can do. Let's go. Jake, try to keep up._

There was a blur of fur as the four giant wolves took off running. I took off after them, running faster than I've ever ran before. It felt like I was flying as the forest flew by in a green blur. Within seconds I was neck and neck with Sam.

_Wow, you are fast._

_Thanks_. I took it as a compliment. My endless pursuit to outrun Leah was paying off. Running around the track, racing her, while my heart pounded in my chest. Leah was fast and I could finally beat her.

I heard four separate groans in my head at the same time. I laughed because my thoughts had flashed to Leah running on the high school track in her shorts and sports bra.

_Oh Lord, please stop,_ Jared groaned.

I laughed. _Leah's hot! That's an image you shouldn't mind having in your head because I have some really good ones…_

_Like what?_ Paul urged.

_Stop_, Sam's commanding voice rang out. All four of us ground to a stop behind him.

_We're almost home. Phase back. I'll stay with Jacob until he phases. Jared, tell Em that we'll be there shortly._

It was easier the second time around, to calm myself when I knew how to do it and what was actually going on. I wondered how long it took for the others to accept the change. They all seemed to enjoy it. I didn't hear any complaining thoughts while we ran. I also wondered if I'd ever get there. Probably not because I had a feeling that being a werewolf was going to mean a lot more for me than it did for the others. I had no idea where the idea came from, but I had a sinking feeling in my stomach over it.

****

I was thankful for the change of clothes that Embry had thought to bring me. My dad would surely start complaining about his son being a werewolf if I continued to destroy my clothes every time I phased. I'd have to work extra hard at controlling my temper now, to be less of a burden on him.

I walked home from Emily's after a rather satisfying breakfast. I'd never seen so much food in my life! I was famished after running nearly five miles in less than five minutes. Apparently so were the others. But Emily was prepared. Embry was right. She was an excellent cook!

Leah was sitting on the couch with my dad when I walked in. She looked angry. I wasn't surprised. I'd hurt her feelings last night and she would not be quick to forget that.

"Jacob, everything okay?" my dad asked me. I nodded. There was a hopeful look in my dad's eyes as he looked back and forth between me and Leah.

"Leah came over to check on you-"

"No, I didn't," Leah interrupted. "I came over here to hit you."

I stared down at the fraying carpet. What could I say? I couldn't tell her the truth.

"Sorry about last night," I said.

"That's it?" she questioned, standing up from the sofa. "Is that all you have to say? Man, Jacob, I really should punch you."

"What would you like me to say?"

"You can start by telling me what the hell happened to you last night? Why you were so upset and why you kicked me out of your room? Start there," she demanded.

I glanced at my dad for help but he offered none. I was getting frustrated because I wanted to tell her something but I couldn't think of the right words.

"I can't," I finally answered.

"You can't?" Leah's voice rose about two octaves. "Fine, Jacob, be like that!" She pushed past me and ran out the door. Again I looked at my dad for help.

"Go after her," he advised. I followed her out the door where she was standing in the middle of the front yard, arms crossed across her chest.

"Leah," I said softly.

"Is this about Bella? You can't hang out with me anymore, huh? Did she tell you that? What exactly did you tell her last night?" she screamed at me.

"This isn't about Bella," I answered. "This is about me. But you're right. I can't hang out with you anymore. It's not a good idea."

Faster than I anticipated, Leah spun around. Her arm flashed out and _she punched me in my nose!_

"Kiss my ass, Jacob! You are an awful person and a horrible friend!"

My nose stung as well as my ego and heart.

"Ow, Leah, damnit!" I yelled. I was surprised by the force that she hit me with. Leah was strong!

"Good! I'm glad it hurts! Now go brag to your buddies that not only did you lose your best friend, you got hit by a girl!"

She sprinted across the yard but I was much faster...now. I reached her and grabbed her arm, pulling her to a stop.

"Get off of me," she yelled.

"Listen to me!" I yelled back. My heart was racing and the fiery heat was burning through my body. I didn't have much time.

"What you have to say is pointless-"

"Shut up and listen," I yelled. "Leah, kicking you out last night had nothing to do with Bella. It had nothing to do with you. I'm going through something and I need some...time. I need some space!"

"Let go of my arm," she growled. I let go. I didn't have a choice. There was nothing I could do as my body started to tremble. I took off running towards the woods. There wasn't anything I could do about my jeans. I couldn't run naked into the woods. Leah would know something was definitely wrong with me then. But I kicked off my shoes as I ran. I only had a couple of pairs of sneakers. I couldn't afford to destroy them.

As soon as I reached the safety of the forest, the transformation happened. I didn't hear any of the others. They were probably still at Emily's. I stepped closer to the edge of the forest, careful to stay hidden in the brush, looking to see where Leah had gone. I didn't see her in the yard anymore. But I _heard _her. She was on the front porch talking to my dad. She was crying.

"Leah," I heard my dad say. "None of this is your fault. Don't cry, sweetheart."

"But, Billy, you didn't see him last night. He looked at me like he hated me. And-"

"And you know that Jacob doesn't hate you," Billy finished. "Jacob cares about you more than you'll ever realize."

"Then why..." her voice cracked as a fresh flood of tears trickled down her face.

"I can't answer that question," Billy said. "And neither can Jacob...at least not right now. But Leah, I want you to know that when the time comes, you will know everything. Jacob will be able to answer all of your questions."

"That doesn't make any sense," Leah sobbed. "I want to know what's wrong with him and I want to know now."

"Honey," Billy soothed. "Now isn't the time. You have to be strong. You have to try and curb your desire to know and just be there for him. He needs you now, more than ever."

"It doesn't feel that way."

"Trust me." Billy paused. I ached to see the look on Leah's face but was too scared to step out of the forest.

"Leah, do you trust me?" Billy asked her.

Leah's voice was muffled when she replied, "Yes."

"Then go home, keep away from Jacob for a couple of days. He'll call you. I promise."

"You promise, Billy?"

"I promise. Now go on home, dear."

I heard the porch steps creak as Leah walked slowly down them. When she reached the front yard I was able to see her tear stained face. She was devastated. My father's words had not comforted her. And there was nothing I could do about it.

***

The next day I was lying in my bed, wallowing in my own misery when the telephone rang. My father was out with Harry, giving me some space, so I knew I should answer it. Something could be wrong.

"Hello," I said sullenly. There was no life in my voice.

"Oh Jake," Bella wailed into the phone.

_Bella._ In everything that had happened, I'd completely forgotten about her. She must have been going crazy, having not heard from me at all since the movies. She probably thought I was dead.

"Oh Jake," she repeated. "You sound horrible."

Horrible wasn't an accurate enough description of how I felt. Wretched, lifeless, broken...the list could go on.

"I feel horrible," I answered instead.

"I'm so sorry I made you go out with me. This sucks."

Oh, that's right. Bella thought I was sick from the movies. Our date hadn't crossed my mind in over twenty-four hours.

"I'm glad I went, Bells," I said. "Don't blame yourself. This isn't your fault."

"You'll get better soon," she replied. "I woke up this morning and I was fine."

"You were sick?"

"Yeah. I caught it too. It's just a twenty four hour thing. You'll be fine soon."

"I don't think I have the same thing you did," I whispered. My ears perked up. Something or someone was headed towards my house. I could hear footsteps in the distance.

"What's wrong with you?" Bella asked anxiously.

I heard Embry's laugh and got distracted. All four of them were together and they were headed my way. I wonder what they wanted.

"Huh?" I said to Bella.

"I said, what's wrong with you?"

"Everything," I groaned. Everything was wrong and no one could help me. No doctor could fix it.

"What can I do, Jake? What can I bring you?"

That caught my attention. There was no way I could allow Bella to come up here, for the same reason I couldn't allow Leah to be around me. I would not hurt either of them.

"Nothing," I told her. You can't bring me anything. You can't come here."

"I've already been exposed to whatever it is that you have," Bella insisted.

"Look, Bells, I'll call later, okay. I'll let you know when you can come down here again."

"Jacob..." she pressed.

I looked out my window. Embry, Sam, Paul, and Jared were in my backyard, carrying backpacks and camping equipment.

"I've got to go," I said urgently while Sam called my name.

"Call me when you feel better."

"Right..." I said bitterly. I would never feel better. And now I was going to have to hurt Bella's feelings too. What would she do without me?

We were silent for a moment, both of us waiting for the other to hang up. I couldn't say the words I'd said to Leah. Bella wasn't tough like Leah. Leah could take it; after all, she had punched me in the nose. Bella would be too devastated to react violently. Her regression to the vegetative state she was in just a few months ago was imminent.

"I'll see you soon," she said finally...hopefully.

"Wait for me to call," I told her again.

"Okay...bye, Jacob."

I didn't want to say goodbye. There was a finality to that word that I hoped I wouldn't have to say to her ever. Instead I said the only thing that sounded right.

"Bella," I whispered and hung up the phone.

I met the pack in the backyard, amazed how one minute I was being completely tormented by my thoughts and conversation with Bella and the next, I was happy to see my brothers...like nothing else mattered.

"What's up?" I greeted them. "What's going on?"

"We're going camping for a few days," Sam replied.

"Camping? We're wolves, right? Why do we need tents and stuff?" I asked.

"It's for show, Jake," Paul said. "What do you think our parents would say...well, besides Billy, if we said we were going camping and didn't have any supplies?"

"Besides, Jared doesn't like to sleep on the ground," Embry added. "If we had anything close to a female in the pack, it would be him."

We all burst out laughing at the horrified look on Jared's face at being compared to a girl.

"You are so gonna get it for that one," Jared noted. "Wait and see."

"Yeah right, I'm terrified. When are you gonna get me, after you finish painting your nails?"

Jared stepped over to Embry and as fast as lighting, tackled him to the ground. Sam ignored their wrestling as they rolled around.

"Go grab some clothes and lock up," he told me. "Billy already knows where you'll be."

I didn't hesitate to do as I was told. I threw some sweats and a couple of t-shirts in my book bag after dumping my books and notebooks on the floor. I was excited, far more excited than I thought I'd ever be about spending a couple of days as a wolf. But I was sure that Sam had something in store for me, some sort of training or rite of passage and I was eager to see what it was.

* * *

Author's notes:

I absolutely love this chapter! I love the commaraderie between the pack even after such a short time being together. I love Jacob's potty mouth! I know I wrote it but I have to just say that I love it...I'm in love with how the story is flowing and I promise it won't be so long between posts again :)


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20 **

We stayed deep in the forest for two days. I was surprised to see how easy living as an animal was. There wasn't much to being a wolf. All we really did was run, hunt, eat, and sleep.

When he first phased, Sam had spent more than a week living as a wolf. He had relied solely on his animal instincts to survive. He learned to accept and to use his heightened senses and abilities. And that is how he trained us...his pack.

From the start, I could see that no matter what we looked like, we were not regular wolves. And we weren't the monsters that movies made us out to be. We were strong! That was my first clue. I quickly learned how strong we were during a playful tussle with Embry. We were tumbling around in a clearing, practicing our fighting skills, and he kicked me off of him with his hind legs. I flew into a large maple tree. I was sure that the snap I heard was my back breaking in two. But it wasn't. It was the tree.

After that happened, I was surprised that Sam even allowed us to keep fighting. It seemed out of character for him. Sam was always so cool, calm, and collected while the rest of us were rowdy and out of control. He always managed to rein us in, to calm us down. Sam, the only black wolf in the pack, was a true leader. I may have been born to lead, but Sam was a natural at it. Just as I was a natural at being a wolf. That fact had come as a surprise to everyone, especially me. I was the faster, the strongest, and while I still had issues with controlling my temper and heartbeat, I was the only one of us who could phase on cue. It was like my body was always one step ahead of my brain. It knew when I needed to be a wolf. For that very reason, I was assigned lookout duties at night while the others slept in the tents we'd set up.

We spent most of the first day as five boys actually camping. We hiked for mile, deep into the forest, although, it didn't take nearly as long with the guys as it did with Bella. Embry, Paul, Jared, and Sam didn't stumble over branches or their own feet. I was shocked – seemed like I was shocked most of the time now – that I wasn't falling and tripping over stuff. I could be clumsy though I was getting better.

After we'd reached a favorable site, Sam wanted me to phase so that we could hunt for our meal for the night. I had no idea how I, a teenage boy in a wolf's body, would hunt but that was the plan. Since I was the newest, I had to learn what the others already knew.

Alone, Sam and I padded through the thickest part of the Olympic forest. I was still in awe of how different everything was...how alive the forest was. I could hear everything. Birds in the trees, preening their feathers, leaves scraping together as the soft breeze fluttered them, the trickling peal of water in the creeks that were miles away. So when Sam stopped walking and asked me what I heard, I was tempted to say everything. But he was looking for specifics so I concentrated on one specific area. When I focused, I was able to hear what he heard.

_What is that...deer?_ I asked as the loud thumping of heavy hearts pounded in my ears. The sound was coming from a creek southwest of us.

_Yes,_ Sam acknowledged. _There are two in the trees near the creek. That's enough meat for the five of us_.

_You want me to kill a deer?_ I asked as the reality of what I was now set it. Wolves are not vegetarians and the five of us had to eat.

_Jake, you've hunted deer before_, Sam reminded me.

_Yeah, with a gun. How in the hell am I supposed to kill a deer?_

_Just go with your instincts._ Sam started off in the slow run. I followed and quickly caught up. We stopped a few yards from the creek. The sound of the thudding hearts was louder now and the scent of the herd was much stronger.

_There._ Sam pointed his nuzzle in the direction of some trees to the west of us. _Do you see them?_

I did. I saw the golden brown fur of two males, both large and strong. My body shifted automatically into a low crouch.

_Go with you instincts, Jake,_ Sam instructed. _Don't think about it._

Letting the animal I was guide me, I sprang forward and burst through the brush, startling the two deer. They took off, sprinting for their lives. I didn't think about what to do next. I acted. I immediately chased down the deer and closed in quickly. I hurled myself through the air and brought down the larger of the two as my strong jaws clamped around its neck. As the deer struggled against the weight of my body and the force of my mouth cutting off its air supply, I watched Sam take down the other deer just as quickly, snapping its thick neck with the force of his powerful jaws.

_What next?_ I said in my head while staring down at the corpses.

_We carry them back to the campsite. I'm sure the guys will have a fire going by now. We don't eat raw meat unless we absolutely have to. _

Sam began to phase back into human form. He lifted the deer from the ground with ease and began to walk towards the campsite, which wasn't as far as I thought.

"See you at the site," he called over his shoulder. "Don't take too long."

****

When the sun finally started to set on the third day of our male/wolf bonding trip, as me and Paul joked about it much to Sam's immediate irritation, Sam ordered us to pack up and head home.

"Meet me at the top of the cliffs in two hours," he ordered.

"Why?" Jared asked.

I half expected Sam to snap "Because I said so." He was in a very sensitive mood, considering we'd – me, Paul, Jared, and Embry – had spent most of the day joking about the spirit wolf and coming up with some rather funny but lame reasons for us to being what we were. I didn't know why our joking and laughing was such a bother to Sam, but obviously he took this wolf thing way too seriously.

"We've been invited to tonight's Council meeting," he advised us. "And come as wolves. The council wants to see the pack."

Without any more explanation, Sam picked up his backpack and strolled off, leaving the rest of us standing around the makeshift campsite.

"Man, I don't want to phase in front of the Council," Paul complained.

"What are we supposed to do when we phase back, sit around the fire, naked, singing tribal songs?" Embry added as he packed up his stuff.

"Why does the Council want to see us?" was my question. "We haven't done anything wrong? Have we?"

My question was met with a round of shoulder shrugs and 'I don't knows' while we finished picking up our stuff and began the hike back to the reservation. This time it didn't take as long as it did the first day because we knew where we were going.

It still took an hour to reach the reservation. Once we all split up to go to our own homes, I felt a sense of loneliness. It would be less than an hour before I saw them again, but yet, I didn't want to be apart from the rest of the pack at all. It was an uncomfortable feeling that I was sure I'd have to get used to. We couldn't be together all of the time, could we?

My dad was already gone when I entered the house. In a hurry I rushed through a quick shower and threw on a pair of old shorts. They barely fit but it didn't matter. When I phased into my wolf form, they'd become just shreds of nylon anyway. Embry's question about phasing back in front of the council tugged at my mind. What were we supposed to do about clothes? They were my friends...now my family, but I still didn't like the idea of sitting through an entire council meeting completely nude. The idea of running a pair of clothes up to the cliffs and hiding them in the trees crossed my mind but there wouldn't be time for that...unless.

I threw a clean pair of jeans, some sneakers, and a t-shirt into a plastic grocery bag and walked out of the house. I would just carry the bag in my mouth once I phased. I simply refused to be naked in front of the Elders and the pack for the entire night.

"Hey Jake, wait up," I heard Embry called and turned around. I grinned when I saw him. He was carrying a plastic bag too as he jogged to catch up with me.

"See you had the same idea," he nodded towards my bag.

"Great minds think alike," I said and pointed towards Jared and Paul walking towards us, both carrying bags too.

"Well, this is odd," Jared commented as we all walked down the street together. "Did we just know to leave at the same time?"

"I think," Paul answered first, "that in some weird way, we're all connected, not just when we're wolves. And it is strange."

The four of us walked down the nearly empty street, laughing and speculating over what the tribal meeting was about and why it was being held at night. As we passed by the Ateara house, I saw Quil standing in the doorway, watching us. Instantly I felt sad. He had no idea what was going on and if everyone was correct, soon our fate would be his. Now I knew exactly how Embry felt when he saw Quil and me. I wanted so badly to go over to the house and tell Quil what was going on. I wanted him to be a part of whatever we were about to walk in to. Most of all, I wanted the look of frustration and disappointment on my friend's face to go away. Hopefully I'd be able to talk to him again...soon. If I could master control of my temper and phasing, then I'd be able to hang out with him again. But would he understand why I spent most of my time with Sam and his crew? Probably not.

We approached the forest's edge and took off running. The tiny leaves and thorns of the briars ripped at our shorts but I don't think any of us felt the scratches as we all raced to be the first to phase and the second to the cliffs. I'd already proven that I was faster than any of them, including Sam.

As the fire trembled down my spine, I could feel the muscles in my arms and legs begin to spasm. I was phasing as I ran. It was weird and cool at the same time. By the time I was deep in the forest, I was already in my wolf form. I looked around for my bag lying on the ground, ten feet away from me. I turned to get it as the others caught up with me.

_Hey Jake, did you not notice the tree you broke when you phased?_ Jared jested.

_Yeah man, you can't go around breaking down the trees and messing up the environment. Your girlfriend will have a fit!_

In Paul's mind, I saw Leah standing outside the school last year, handing out flyers on protecting the Olympic forest and saving the Olympic wolf. Leah, the environmentalist. Yes, she would have a fit if she knew that I was crashing into and uprooting trees, simply by running into them.

Another image of Leah flooded my mind...Christmas Eve. The way the her black sweater dressed hugged the curve of her hips, her long muscular legs swathed in black nylon tights...everything about Leah Clearwater that night was sexy.

_Wow, I didn't think Leah could look so fine,_ Paul interjected. _Damn._

_Shut up,_ I growled.

_Come on Jake,_ Embry moaned. _It's Leah for God's sake. The meanest girl on the planet. None of us want to have her in our heads._

_Actually I don't mind, _Paul thought. _She is hot!_

_And evil,_ Embry added. I growled again and leaped towards him, snapping at his hamstring. He lunged back and we crashed into a mass of ferns.

_Jacob! Embry!_ It was Sam, calling us back to order. Immediately the play fight stopped. We picked up our bags and followed the rest of the pack towards the top of the cliff where we could see the shadowy outline of the large wolf against a full moon.

_They're waiting, _Sam stated as we fell in line behind him. _Leave the bags, please._

Jared flanked to Sam's left and I took the place of the second in command, Sam's right flank. As a pack we slowly emerged from the forest into a clearing. I first saw the huge orange fire blazing brightly, casting an orange glow across the stern faces of the Quileute elders.

My dad sat at the head of the fire, Old Quil to his right, Harry Clearwater to his left. Emily was there also. A sharp gasp escaped her lips when she gazed upon all five of the overgrown wolves approaching almost silently. A small smile erupted on Old Quil's face while a look of amazement crossed Harry's. They'd never seen anything like us.

"Welcome," my dad said and smiled proudly. I wondered if he recognized which one of the five wolves was his son.

With over exaggerated small movements, I stepped towards my father. He motioned me to come closer. Gingerly, I approached him until I was right beside him. I sat back on my hunches since I was taller than him sitting in his chair when I stayed on all fours.

"Your eyes are the same, son," he murmured as he ran his hand over my russet colored fur. "I'm so proud of you, Jacob."

_Isn't that sweet,_ Paul teased

_Jealous much?_

_Jealous? Of you being pet like a dog...or better yet, a puppy,_ Paul teased until a low growl from Sam shut him up.

_This is important_, Sam scolded us. _The Council has assembled us to tell us the story of how we came to be._

_Stories?_ Jared asked. _There are stories?_

_Yes. The histories we always thought were legends. The stories of how we came to be. Sit down and listen,_ Sam ordered and the pack took places around the fire. Sam nestled close to Emily as she curled her fingers around his black fur.

With no introduction or warning, my dad began to speak.

"From the beginning, the Quileutes have been a small tribe and we still are, but there is a reason we have not disappeared, like some tribes. This is because there has always been magic in our blood. It wasn't always the magic of shape-shifting, though. First, we were spirit warriors."

Billy paused as Emily dug around in her bag for a pen and pad.

_Spirit warriors?_ Jared questioned. _What happened to the spirit wolf?_

_Man, I'm glad we didn't phase back,_ Paul said. _If he's going to keep this up, I don't know how I would be able to keep a straight face._

_Me too, _I added. Already, my dad sounded senile. Magic in our blood...okay.

Sam growled again, a warning from our leader to shut up and listen. We did as Billy began to speak again.

"In the beginning, the tribe settled in this harbor and became skilled ship builders and fishermen. But the tribe was small and the harbor was rich in fish. There were others who coveted our land, and we were too small to hold it. A larger tribe moved against us, and we took to our ships to escape them."

I glanced over at the rest of the pack. It was eerily quiet in my head, meaning that no one in the pack was actually thinking anything at that moment. Instead, everyone was obeying Sam's silent command.

"Kaheleha was not the first sprit warrior, but we do not remember the stories that came before his. We don't know who was the first to discover our power, or how it been used before this crisis. Kaheleha was the first Great Spirit Chief in our history. In this instance, Kaheleha used the magic he was born with to defend our land.

"He and all his warriors left the ship – not their bodies, but their spirits. Their women watched over the bodies and the waves, and the men took their spirits back to our harbor.

"They could not actually touch the enemy tribe. The stories tell us that they had other ways to wreck havoc. They could blow fierce winds into their enemy's camps; they could make a great screaming in the wind that terrified the other tribes. The stories also tell us that the animals could see the spirit warriors and understand them. They used animals to do their bidding."

_Interesting,_ Paul thought before any of us but we all agreed. Apparently Sam did too because he didn't bark or growl at us and we didn't need to be reminded to pay attention.

"Kaheleha took his spirit army and wrecked havoc on the intruders. The invading tribe had packs of big, thick-furred dogs that pulled their sleds in the frozen north. The spirit warriors turned the dogs against their masters and then brought a mighty infestation of bats up from the cliff caverns. They used the screaming wind to aid the dogs in confusing the men. The dogs and bats won. They survivors scattered. They called our harbor a cursed place. The dogs ran wild when the spirit warriors released them. The Quileutes were victorious and returned to their bodies and their wives.

"The Hohs and the Makahs made treaties with the Quileutes. They wanted nothing to do with our magic. We lived in peace with them. When an enemy came against us, the spirit warriors would drive them off. This continued for generations. Then came the last Great Spirit Chief, Taha Aki. He was known for his wisdom and for being a man of peace. The people lived well and content in his care. But there was one man, Utlapa, who was not content."

_And that would be Jake_, Paul continued to torment me. _The voice of discontentment._

_I never said I wasn't content,_ I argued. _But come on, look at us._

_Will you two shut up, _Jared interjected. _This is getting good._

_All of you, shut up,_ Sam barked. _Shut up or phase back so we don't have to hear you!_

There was silence amongst the pack and the four humans around the fire. Dad had stopped talking when Sam started growling in our direction.

"Utlapa was one of the strongest warriors in the tribe but he was a grasping man. He thought the Quileutes should use their magic to expand their lands, to enslave the Hohs and the Makahs and build an empire."

Billy ran his hand along my head and chuckled. "I think you'll find this part interesting," he said.

"When the warriors were their spirit selves, they knew each other's thoughts. Chief Taha Aki saw what Utlapa dreamed and was angry with him. Utlapa was commanded to leave the people, and never use his spirit self again. Utlapa was a strong man, but the warriors outnumbered him. He had no choice but to leave. He was furious and hid in the forest, waiting for a chance to get his revenge against the chief.

"Even in times of peace, the Spirit Chief was vigilant in protecting his people. Often, he would go to secret place in the mountains, leaving his body behind and sweep down through the forests and along the coast, make sure no threats approached the tribe.

"One day when Taha Aki did this, Utlapa followed. His plan was to simply kill the chief but this plan had its drawbacks. Surely, the spirit warriors would try to destroy him and they could follow faster than he could escape. As he hid in the rocks and watched the chief prepare to leave his body, another plan occurred to him..."

"Taha Aki left his body in the secret place and flew with the winds to keep watch over his people. Utlapa waited until he was sure the chief had traveled some distance, and then he put his plan into motion.

"Taha Aki knew the instant that Utlapa had joined him in the spirit world, and he also knew Utlapa's murderous plan. He raced back to his secret place, but even the winds weren't fast enough to save him. When he returned, his body was already gone. Utlapa's body lay in its place with its throat cut.

"Taha Aki followed his own body down the mountain. He screamed at Utlapa but was ignored, as if he were mere wind. Taha Aki watched with despair as Utlapa took his place as Chief of the Quileutes. For a few weeks Utlapa did nothing but make sure that everyone believe he was Taha Aki. Then the changes began. His first edict was to forbid any warrior to enter the spirit world. He claimed that he'd had a vision of danger but really, he was just afraid. He knew that Taha Aki would be waiting for the chance to tell his story. Utlapa was also afraid to enter the spirit world, knowing that Taha Aki would quickly claim his body. So his dreams of conquest with a spirit warrior army were impossible and he sought to content himself with ruling over the tribe. He became a burden – seeking privileges that Taha Aki had never requested, refusing to work alongside his warriors, taking a young second wife, and then a third, though Taha Aki's wife lived on – something unheard of in the tribe. Taha Aki watched in helpless fury.

"Eventually, he tried to kill his body to save the tribe from Utlapa's excesses. He brought a fierce wolf down from the mountains, but Utlapa hid behind his warriors. When the wolf killed a young man who was protecting the false chief, Taha Aki felt horrible and ordered the wolf away."

My dad stopped talking and Old Quil began to speak, his voice raspy with age. Emily continued to take notes.

"All the stories tell us that it was no easy thing to be a spirit warrior," Old Quil began. "It was more frightening than exhilarating to be freed from one's body. This is why they only used their magic in times of need. The chief's solitary journeys to keep watch were a burden and a sacrifice. Being bodiless was uncomfortable and horrifying. Taha Aki had been away from his body for so long that he was in agony. He felt he was doomed, never to cross over to the final land where his ancestors waited, stuck in this torturous nothingness forever."

Old Quil was an even better storyteller than my father. There was something about his voice, whether it was the raspy way he spoke or the wisdom in his words, which intrigued us. There was no way we could not listen in utter silence as he spoke.

"The great wolf followed Taha Aki's spirit as he twisted and writhed in agony through the woods. The wolf was very large for its kind, and beautiful. Taha Aki was suddenly jealous of the animal. At least it had a body. At least it had a life. Even life as an animal would be better than this horrible empty consciousness.

"And then Taha Aki had the idea that changed us all. He asked the great wolf to make room for him, to share. The wolf complied. Taha Aki entered the wolf's body with relief and gratitude. It was his human body but it was better than the void of the spirit world.

"As one, the man and the wolf returned to the harbor, to the village. The people ran in fear, shouting for the warriors to come. The warriors ran to meet the wolf with their spears. Utlapa, of course, stayed safely hidden. But Taha Aki did not attack his warriors. He retreated slowly from them, speaking with his eyes and trying to yelp the songs of his people. The warriors began to realize the wolf was no ordinary animal, that there was a spirit influencing it. One older warrior, a man named Yut, decided to disobey the false chief's order and try to communicate with the wolf.

"As soon as Yut crossed to the spirit world, Taha Aki left the wolf – the animal waited tamely for his return – to speak to him. Yut gathered the truth in an instant, and welcomed his true chief home. At this time, Utlapa came to see if the wolf had been killed. When he saw Yut lying lifeless on the ground, surrounded by protective warriors, he realized what was happening. He drew his knife and raced forward to kill Yut before he could return to his body.

"'Traitor,' he screamed, and the warriors did not know what to do. The chief had forbidden spirit journeys, and it was the chief's decision how to punish those who disobeyed. Yut jumped back into his body, but Utlapa had his knife at his through and a hand covering his mouth. Taha Aki's body was strong and Yut was weak with age. Yut could not say even one word to warn the others before Utlapa silenced him forever.

"Taha Aki watched a Yut's spirit slipped away to the final lands that were barred to Taha Aki for all eternity. He felt a great rage, more powerful than anything he'd felt before. He entered the big wolf again, meaning to rip Utlapa's throat out. But, as he joined the wolf, the greatest magic happened."

We all stared at Old Quil, anxiously. I had a feeling that we all knew what was about to happen. This was our story...how we had come to be.

"Taha Aki's anger was the anger of a man. The love he had for his people and the hatred he had for their oppressor were too vast for the wolf's body, too human. The wolf shuddered, and – before the eyes of the shocked warriors and Utlapa – transformed into a man."

The pack howled in unison. The elders and Emily grinned at us. Old Quil waited until we were quiet again before continuing.

"The new man did not look like Taha Aki's body. He was far more glorious. He was the flesh interpretation of Taha Aki's spirit. The warriors recognized him at once, though, for they had flown with Taha Aki's spirit.

"Utlapa tried to run, but Taha Aki had the strength of the wolf in his new body. He caught the thief and crushed the spirit from him before he could jump out of the stolen body. The people rejoiced when they understood what had happened. Taha Aki quickly set everything right, working again with his people, and giving the young wives back to their families. They only change he kept in place was the end of the spirit travels. He knew it was too dangerous now that the idea of stealing a life was there. The spirit warriors were no more.

"From that point on, Taha Aki was more than either wolf or man. They called him Taha Aki the Great Wolf, or Taha Aki, the Spirit Man. He led the tribe for many, many years, for he did not age. When danger threatened, he would resume his wolf-self to fight or frighten the enemy. The people dwelt in peace. Taha Aki fathered many sons, and some of these found that, after they had reached the age of manhood, they too could transform into wolves. The wolves were all different, because they were spirit wolves and reflected the man they were inside."

_That's why you're so shaggy, Jake_, Sam explained. _It's time for a haircut._

_Thank God!_ I yelped.

Old Quil either had no idea that we were conversing or was ignoring us as he continued to speak.

"Some of the sons became warriors with Taha Aki, and they no longer aged. Others, who did not like the transformation, refused to join the pack of wolf-men. These began to age again, and the tribe discovered that the wolf-men could grow old like anyone else if they gave up their spirit wolves. Taha Aki had lived the span of three old men's lives. He had married a third wife after the deaths of the first two, and found in her his true spirit wife. Though he had loved the others, this was something else. He decided to give up his spirit wolf so that he would die when she did."

Old Quil looked around the blazing fire, his eyes stopping to stare lovingly at each one of the fives wolves sitting around the fire.

"So, that is how the magic came to us. That is how you came to be what you are. But it is not the end of the story," he added, looking at my father. "There's another story that will explain, why this has happened to you...now, the reason why the tribe needs its Protectors. It's the story of the cold ones."

"Sam," my father said. "Can you have the pack shift back into human form? I think it would be best."

Sam rose from his comfortable space next to Emily. _Let's go guys._ He ordered and we followed him into the woods.

"Amazing," I heard my dad say. "They move like an army."

"Did you see the way Jacob and Jared flanked Sam on his sides?" Harry asked in amazement. "It's like they already know the natural order of things."

"The natural order?" my dad asked. "The natural order would be Sam and Jared flanking Jacob."

"It's Jacob's choice, Billy," I heard the warning in Old Quil's voice, even if my father didn't. "He's not ready for that. Give him time."

_Jake,_ I heard my name in the minds of at least three other wolves.

_Hurry up and phase. I want to hear about the cold ones,_ Paul urged.

_Gimmie a minute,_ I growled. The story and my father's anxiousness over me being the leader had my heart racing. Plus he mentioned the cold ones. I wondered if this was the same story that I had told to Bella months ago when we first met on First Beach.

I took a few deep breaths and gazed at the full moon. Within minutes I was back in my human form. I picked up my bag and slipped on my clothes. The others were already dressed and waiting for me.

We walked back to the circle, the same way we'd walked out. I sat on the cold ground next to my father's wheelchair and pulled my long hair back into a ponytail, tying it back with the rubber band my father handed me with a smile.

Once we were all seated, Old Quil began to speak again. Emily took her pen to her pad again.

"Many years after Taha Aki gave up his spirit wolf, trouble began in the north with the Makahs. Several young women had disappeared and they blamed it on the neighboring wolves, who they feared and mistrusted. The wolf-men could still read each other's thoughts while in their wolf forms. They knew that none of them were to blame. Taha Aki tried to pacify the Makah Chief but there was too much fear. Taha Aki did not want to have a war on his hands. He was no longer a warrior to lead his people. He charged his oldest wolf-son, Taha Wi, with finding the true culprit before hostilities began.

"The pack was made up of five other wolves, like this one today," Old Quil stated. "Taha Wi led them on a search through the mountains, looking for any evidence of the missing Makah women. They came across something they had never encountered before – a strange, sweet scent in the forest that burned their noses to the point of pain."

"What was it?" Jared whispered.

"Shut up," Paul answered. "He's telling us."

My mouth twitched with humor as Sam threw a look their way that would have caused any normal person to shudder. Embry and I said nothing.

"They did not know what kind of creature would leave such a scent, but they followed it," Old Quil continued. His voice had a fierce edge of urgency about it. My pulse quickened as he began to speak faster. I concentrated on taking deep breaths. I noticed Embry and Sam doing the same.

"They found faint traces of human scent, and human blood, along the trail. They were sure this was the enemy they were searching for. The journey took them so far north that Taha Wi sent half the pack, the younger ones, back to the harbor to report to Taha Aki. Taha Wi and his two brothers did not return."

"What?" Paul yelped. "What happened? Did the cold ones get them?"

"What exactly are the cold ones?" Emily asked softly. "I've never heard this story."

"If Paul would keep quiet, maybe all of our questions will get answered," Embry said sarcastically.

"Go on," Sam said to Old Quil, in a voice that we all recognized – the deep timbre of the true Chief of the tribe.

"The younger brothers searched for their older brothers but found only silence. Taha Aki mourned for his sons. He wished to avenge their death, but he was old. He went to the Makah chief in his mourning clothes and told him everything that had happened. The Makah chief believed his grief, and tensions ended between the tribes. A year later, two more Makah maidens disappeared from their homes on the same night. The Makahs called on the Quileute wolves at once, who found the same sweet stink all through the Makah village. The wolves went on the hunt again.

"Only one came back. He was Yaha Uta, the oldest son of Taka Aki's third wife, and the youngest in the pack. He brought something with him that had never been seen in all the days of the Quileutes – a strange, cold, stony corpse that he carried in pieces. All who were of Taha Aki's blood, even those who had never been wolves, could smell the piercing smell of the dead creature. This was the enemy of the Makhas."

This was not the same story I'd been told before, the story of the cold ones. Maybe this was the true beginning. I forced myself to concentrate again.

"Yaha Uta described what had happened: he and his brothers had found the creature, who looked like a man but was hard as granite, with the two Makah daughters. One girl was already dead, white and bloodless on the ground. The other was in the creature's arms, his mouth at her throat. She may have been alive when they came upon the hideous scene, but the creature quickly snapped her neck and tossed her lifeless body to the ground when they approached. His white lips were covered in her blood, and his eyes glowed red.

"Yaha Uta described the fierce strength and speed of the creature. One of his brothers quickly became a victim when he underestimated that strength. The creature ripped him apart like a doll. Yaha Uta and his other brother were more wary. They worked together, coming at the creature from the sides, out maneuvering it. They had to reach the very limits of their wolf strength and speed, something that had never been tested before. The creature was hard as stone and cold as ice. They found that only their teeth could damage it. They began to rip small pieces of the creature apart while it fought them. But the creature learned quickly and soon was matching their maneuvers. It got its hands on Yaha Uta's brother. Yaha Uta found an opening on the creature's throat and he lunged. His teeth toe the head of the creature but the hands continued to mangle his brother.

"Yaha Uta ripped the creature into unrecognizable chunks tearing pieces apart in a desperate attempt to save his brother. He was too late, but, in the end, the creature was destroyed...or so they thought.

"Yaha Uta laid the reeking remains out to be examined by the elders. One severed hand lay beside a piece of the creature's granite arm. The two pieces touched when the elders poked them with sticks, and the hand reached out towards the arm, trying to reassemble itself."

"Gross," Paul moaned.

"Come on," Jared groaned as well. "This sounds like something out of one of Jake's stupid horror movies."

"I know, right," Embry agreed. "The Vampires of La Push...how stupid."

"I know how it sounds," Billy spoke up. "But please allow him to finish, boys."

"Yeah, shut up," Emily said softly. From any other person, the words would have sounded harsh but coming from Emily, they sounded motherly. We piped down and Old Quil continued.

"Horrified, the elders set fire to the remains. A great cloud of choking, vile smoke polluted the air. When there was nothing but ashes, they separated the ashes into many small bags and spread them far and wide – some in the ocean, some in the forest, and some in the cliff caverns. Taha Aki wore one bag around his neck, so he would be warned if the creature ever tried to put himself together again."

Old Quil paused and looked at my father. Billy pulled out a leather thong from around his neck. Hanging from the end was a small bag. Emily gasped. My eyes widened.

"They called it The Cold One, the Blood Drinker," Old Quil finished. "There were others but after that, trouble with the cold ones was rare. They feared the wolves. As far as they knew, the wolves were the only creatures that could destroy them. Taha Aki's sons guarded the tribe until their sons were old enough to take their places. There were never more than three wolves at a time. It was enough.

"Occasionally, a blood drinker would come through these lands, but they were taken by surprise because they didn't expect the wolves. The wolves had learned how to fight the cold ones, and they passed the knowledge on, wolf mind to wolf mind, spirit to spirit, father to son. Time passed and the descendants of Taha Aki no longer became wolves when they reached manhood. Only in a great while, if a cold one was near, would the wolves return. The cold ones always came in ones or twos, and the pack stayed small," his voice trailed off as he looked at us, the tribe's new pack.

"That's it?" Paul asked. "But that doesn't explain why now? What happened? Are there bloodsuckers around?"

My dad nodded. He looked at me as he spoke.

"Usually the leeches only traveled in pairs but a bigger coven came, and your own great-grandfather's prepared to fight them. As I've told Jacob and Sam...Levi Uley, Ephraim Black, and Quil Ateara made up the last pack. But this new coven was so much bigger than what they'd expected. The pack was outnumbered.

"But the leader spoke to Ephraim as if he were a man, and promised not to harm the Quileutes. His strange yellow eyes gave some proof to his claim that they were not the same as the other blood drinkers whose eyes glowed red. Ephraim accepted their treaty. They've stayed true to their side, though their presence does tend to draw in others."

"You're speaking in the present," Sam noted. "Does this mean that they are still here? That there our bloodsuckers on our lands?"

"They were here," my dad said softly. "Jake...Sam, you know who they are."

I sighed. It was true...everything my dad was saying was true. I felt my heart racing, the fire burning through my body. There were bloodsuckers on our land, putting our tribe in danger and I'd seen them before. We talked and joked about them occasionally. The pale faced family who lived right outside of Forks.

"The Cullens," I spat the word like it was laced with venom.

"Oh!" Sam's gasp was short and filled with anger. His body began to shake violently.

"Sam, it's okay," Emily tried to soothe him while moving out of the way. Sam stood up and ran into the forest. I was right behind him, my body shaking with the force of anger causing the shift to begin.

Sam's clothes flew off his body in shreds as the wolf he was exploded out of him. Before the cotton shreds could hit the forest floor, mine joined them.

I heard the expletive laced thoughts in Sam's head before I could even think of my own.

_I knew it...I already knew this_, he kept thinking as he paced back and forth between the trees.

But my head was in a different place, a different anger had settled upon me. Bella. Bella Swan had been in love with a filthy, bloodsucking leech! The thought was worse than anything I ever felt in my life. She could have been killed! She could have easily been a victim of the any of the Cullens, not just Edward.

"Sam! Jacob!"

Our ears turned towards the forest edge where Emily was standing, calling us back to the fire.

"Come on guys, please come back," she pleaded. "Sam...please."

I looked at Sam. He didn't want to go back. Like me, he'd heard enough. The idea that he had always known what the Cullens were, and the fact that they were the reason that we could no longer lead ordinary lives warred in his head. He took one look at the thick scars on Emily's face and the anger forced him to take a step back, away from the forest's edge. It would be awhile before he could phase back.

_Go, Jacob. Listen to the rest of the story. Tell Em, I'll be back._

_Sam, I don't think we're allowed to go after the Cullens,_ I told him. _Besides, they're gone. They went away. At least that's what Bella told me._

_I'm not going after them...yet,_ Sam thought. _Go back to the fire,_ he ordered again and this time I could not stand there as the weight of the Alpha's order propelled my feet along.

But I could not phase back. I was too upset for that and something told me that phasing back to human would be futile. My dad had something else to say that was only going to make me angrier. I could see it in his eyes when I rejoined the pack beside the fire.

"You were right," my dad acknowledged. "The Cullens are the vampire coven that agreed to a treaty with my grandfather. When they first stepped foot on our lands, there was five of them. Since, two more have joined their coven. But they have kept their side of the treaty therefore, they are to be left alone. But, the Cullens are not allowed on Quileute lands. As you explore the forest more in your wolf form, you will come across the treaty line. Your wolf instincts will tell you when you've found it. If a Cullen was to ever cross that line, it would be a breach of the treaty..."

"And we'd be able to kill them," Jared said, excitedly.

"Yes," my father nodded. "But they are a careful bunch. They stick to their animal diet rather well. They have learned to live amongst humans, though they tend to keep to themselves...until lately."

"Bella," Emily whispered. "Chief Swan's daughter was dating one of them. Oh my God, did she know?"

A low snarl started deep in my throat when the expression on my dad's face confirmed that Bella did in fact know that the boy she was supposedly in love with was a vampire.

"She knows," Harry answered. "She knows everything, except about the wolves. She even knows about the treaty."

"That is truly the most disgusting thing I've ever heard," Paul announced. "She's human. How in the hell can she know what that thing is and want to be around it?"

"Yeah," Embry agreed. "Vampires are cold dead corpses that walk, talk, and drink blood. What the hell is wrong with her?"

I growled, not at either Paul or Embry, but at the thought of the agony that Bella had went through over what amounted to a leech. A cold dead corpse had hugged her, had kissed her, had touched her...AND SHE LIKED IT. In fact, she would give anything to have it back. The very thought made me want to vomit.

"Does Charlie know?" Paul asked. "Because I'm sure, Charlie would not have allowed such a disgusting thing to go on."

"No," Harry answered. "Charlie has no idea. However, Charlie does respect their leader. After all, he does give off the impression as a good town doctor, a respectable man, not the vile monster that he is.

"But the Cullens are gone," Embry said. "Why would we change if they're gone?"

"Sam changed last year, remember?" Jared said. "We have to come of age before we can turn. And they've been back in Forks for about three years now."

"Now I don't mind so much," Paul stated. "If these bloodsuckers attract others then I'm glad we are what we are. I'm happy to protect the tribe...from anything."

The others voiced their agreement with Paul while I whined. I could accept being this way to protect the tribe, if it came down to that. Especially now that I had a name and a face to place the blame on. Edward Cullen and his family of leeches was the reason that I could not be around my friends anymore, the reason I'd made Leah cry, the reason why my life would never be the same. Edward Cullen was a monster. The fact that I could not kill him ate at my soul. He did not deserve to live.

And Bella knew this the entire time. She knew what she been attracted to, what she still was attracted to. What did that say about her and the kind of person that she was? How could I continue to be friends with a girl who was in love with my enemy? Who preferred it over me? There was only one answer to that…

_I couldn't._

* * *

_****Author's note***_

_In case you're wondering, yes, I deliberately made Jacob's first hunting experience as a wolf similar to Bella's first as a vampire. I wanted to show how connected Bella and Jacob are, no matter what they are. I know this chapter isn't as action packed as the previous chapters, however, I felt that the stories needed to be told to the pack prior to Book 3 because in Eclipse Jacob tells Bella that the pack had already heard them except Seth and Leah. _

_You know what I'm going to say next...leave comments, let me know what you think :) I really love to hear from my readers._

_live...dream...WRITE_

_JC_


	21. Chapter 21

24

**Chapter 21- First Fight**

When the fire died down and the group started to head back down to the reservation, Emily urged me to go find Sam. I didn't protest. That was my plan anyway.

I found him sitting beside a creek, staring at the moon's reflection on the rippling water. He was deep in thought. I didn't want to interrupt him but I had no choice. I could hear everything he was thinking, every torturous, self-loathing thought he had was now mine to bare. Most of his thoughts were about Emily.

Over and over, the image of what happened the night of Emily's injury replayed in Sam's mind. Sam was usually in complete control of his emotions. He had never phased in front of Emily before. But the conversation between him and Emily, over Leah of all people, had set him off.

"Sam," Emily had said, "you have to talk to her. Can't you see that she's hurting? You're the only one who can fix this!"

_I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to say to Leah_, Sam explained to me_. She wouldn't even talk to me, even though I tried._

But Emily didn't think that Sam was doing enough. The hurt that Leah was feeling pained Emily to no end. She loved Sam, more than anything…but so had Leah. And no matter what, Leah and Emily were family.

_She kept pressuring me to do more_, Sam's thoughts were remorseful. _As much as I tried to convince her that Leah was fine, that she had you, Emily insisted that I try to talk to her…again. I got frustrated. I wasn't mad, Jake, I swear. I wasn't mad. I was just frustrated because there was no way I could explain to Leah what happened between me and Emily without telling her our secret. And you know Leah; she wouldn't have listened or cared anyway. Before I could explain, the shift started to happen. Em stepped closer to me, yelling for me to calm down. There was nothing I could do, I couldn't stop it_…his thought trailed off in anguish. Images instead of words tore through his mind. A large black paw swiping at the air…Emily, screaming and clutching her face as blood poured from three deep scratches on the left side of her face. The images were difficult for me to process. Sam's pain was harder.

_She forgives me_, Sam stated_. I don't deserve her forgiveness. I'm a monster. No matter what the stories say, there's no honor in this, not when we can so easily hurt the ones we love._

_What can we do about it?_ I asked. _We didn't ask for this_.

_I know!_ He barked_. I wouldn't have hurt her if those bloodsucking monsters had not come back! Every day I pray that they come back from wherever they are, _he thought._ Every single time I look at Emily I wish they would come back._

_ But there's a treaty._

His black fur shook in the moonlight as he shuddered angrily.

_Screw the treaty_, he snapped. _You see how close that one got to Bella…your friend. You saw what he did to her, made her fall in love with him. Don't you want to kill him?_

_Do you think that he would have broken the treaty for Bella?_

_One of them almost did._

If I could have gasped, I would have. My heart pounded in my chest. I panted heavily. _One of the…Cullens had almost broken the treaty. When? How?_

_You don't know?_ Sam asked me.

_Does my reaction sound like that of a person who is in the know? What happened?_

For a moment Sam's thoughts switched back and forth between telling me the truth or waiting to see if Bella would answer my questions. I growled at his indecision.

_Tell me._

_ Bella lied to you, Jake_, he finally thought_. That Cullen leech she was dating didn't leave because he broke up with her. The Cullens left because one of them attacked her._

_What the hell happened?_ Someone was going to tell me the truth. If Bella didn't trust me enough to do it, I knew that Sam would.

_I only picked up on bits and pieces of the story. I was in the woods that night, her birthday. I heard them in the woods so I ran to the treaty line. Something stopped me from going any further. At the time I didn't suspect anything out of the ordinary. I always suspected that there was something strange going on with the Cullens but I never knew why I didn't quite trust them…until tonight. Anyway, they were all upset over something. The smaller blonde male was the most upset and the tiny dark haired female kept saying "It's okay, you didn't hurt her." But he did try to bite her, I did hear enough to get that much out of it._

I wanted to destroy something as the anger inside threatened to consume me. First the damn Cullens come back, riding on the hopes that they were protected by an age old treaty and turn us all into _fucking werewolves_, and now I learn that one of the filthy creatures had tried to kill Bella!

I don't know what hurt more, the fact that Bella didn't tell me or the fact that she didn't care! She didn't care that one of them wanted to drink her blood! She didn't care that the other one had cast a spell on her, making her fall madly in love with it, most likely so she wouldn't care if he bit her.

_They're vampires, not witches_, Sam chuckled, interrupting my tirade.

_I don't care!_

_ But you're right. She doesn't care. She doesn't give a rat's ass about them hurting her. She doesn't care about anything or anyone except _them_._

I'd heard enough. I didn't want to think about Bella, vampires, treaties, legends, or anything else anymore. I especially didn't want Sam or the rest of the pack to know the inner most thoughts that I was having.

_Phase back then_, Sam suggested. _I'm gonna be here for awhile._

I heard his thoughts jump back to Emily as I ran off. Sam was just as conflicted over this new life and our new responsibility as I was.

He didn't want to be a wolf. He wanted to grow old and live out his life with the woman he loved. He didn't want any of this. But – and this feeling was much stronger than any of the others – he didn't want anyone in our tribe to be in danger. He was determined to rise to the occasion and protect us, now that he had no other choice.

I had no choice either. The Cullens had taken away my chance at a normal life when they stepped foot on Quileute land. I wished that my grandfather had destroyed them all when he had a chance to. But he hadn't. And now it was up to us.

Bella had taken away my choices too, by keeping such a big secret from me. I had professed my feelings for her. I had put aside my feelings for Leah for her and she lied to me. By lying and telling me half truths Bella had chosen vampires over friendship. I could not be friends with her…for her safety and my sanity.

****

Sam and Emily have the biggest house out of all of the pack members. It was just big enough to hold the five of us, despite our size, quite comfortably so that's where we hung out when we weren't running around the forest.

Without any help, I'd already demolished two large pizzas while watching American Pie with Paul. And the chicken that Emily was frying smelled delicious and was making my stomach growl.

"Still hungry?" Paul laughed.

"Whatever. You ate half my pizza anyway," I fired back. After almost a week of being around him, Paul still hadn't got tired of joking and teasing me. I had.

"Boys!" Emily yelled from the kitchen. We both laughed. Emily was always yelling at us to quit our bickering.

There was a soft knock at the screen door and I turned my head.

"It's me," she called to her cousin.

"Hi Leah," Emily greeted her and then turned her head to me. I knew what she was thinking.

For the last week, I'd carefully been avoiding Leah and Quil. I wasn't sure that I'd be able to keep from phasing in front of them. But that wasn't the main problem. Nobody in the pack thought I was strong enough not to blab to Leah and Quil. I wasn't sure either. Therefore, I stayed away from them. It was easy since I was hardly ever home. But I certainly hadn't expected Leah to show up at Emily's. And it was clear she hadn't expected to see me there either.

"Jake, what are you doing here?" she asked.

"Just hangin out," I answered carefully. Leah eyed me suspiciously. I knew that she was wondering why I was hanging out with Sam, Jared, Paul, and Embry…especially at Sam's house, considering the bad blood between us, just last week.

"Is it weird that I find that hard to believe?" Leah asked Emily, deliberately avoiding eye contact with me. "I mean, just a couple of weeks ago, Jacob was complaining about Sam and the other boys and now they're best friends? I'm confused."

"Jake's come around," Emily smiled. "I guess he wants to hang with the guys instead of always being around you and the Swan girl."

Leah rolled her eyes. "I don't buy that."

"What's up, Leah?" Paul called from the living room. "Did you come to see me?"

"Shut up," I hissed at Paul. For the last few days, Leah had consumed his thoughts, especially since _I _couldn't keep her out of my mind. Paul enjoyed every image of Leah that passed through my mind. I don't know where his sudden fascination with her came from but I didn't like it…not one bit.

"In what parallel universe would I ever come to see _you_?" Leah fired back. "I came to see my cousin. I didn't think you guys would be here."

"Where else would we be?" he asked, ignoring the angry look on my face. I couldn't hear what he was thinking but I knew from the way he kept peeking into the kitchen that he was thinking something lewd. He always was.

Leah walked into the living room and I almost died. Not seeing her for a week made me forget how gorgeous she was. The tight white tank top she wore hugged her chest and her tight jeans fit snugly around every curve of her body. She crossed the room quickly and as she plopped down on the floor next to my feet, her mouth watering scent of honey and lavender filled the room. Both mine and Paul's eyes widened as the scent hit our highly sensitive noses. I heard Paul's heartbeat start to quicken and I had only one thought…get Leah out of the room.

"Hey Leah, come take a walk with me," I suggested. I felt better about her being alone with me than her continuing to enrapture Paul without her knowledge or consent.

"What?" She looked up at me. "You're talking to me now?"

I got up from the chair and pulled Leah to her feet.

"I never stopped talking to you," I said as I ushered her out of the house.

I felt much better as the fresh and salty air blowing off the ocean hit my nostrils. Leah wasn't as tantalizing outside where she wasn't the only thing in the vicinity that smelled great.

Leah walked slowly in front of me, making sure to keep enough distance between us so that I didn't hear her mumbling. But I did hear...every single word that she muttered. And Leah Clearwater was not happy with me at all.

With a few long strides, I was right next to her. I took her hand in mine and held it tighter when she tried to pull away.

"What do you want, Jacob?" she snapped.

I stepped in front of her. She tried to walk around me but I blocked her path. I was so much bigger now; it was really hard for her to get away.

"Stop it, okay," she pleaded. "You don't have to pretend that you care about me, Jacob, or even that you still like me."

"I'm not pretending anything," I replied. "I've never stopped caring about you."

"But you..." Leah's eyes started to water and her face was troubled. I'd seen her like this before, only this time it was me who causing her to hurt. I was starting to believe that I was doing more damage to Leah than Sam had _ever_ done and I hated myself for it.

Leah had confided all of her feelings to me when she wouldn't talk to anyone else. She had come to me, heartbroken and desperate for someone. She had become the best friend I've ever had.

Then I'd kicked her out of my house. I made her cry. I'd taken my friendship away without a valid explanation. I'd broken our bond. She had every right to hate me.

"Lee-lee," I started to say but her eyes flashed with anger.

"Don't call me that," her voice was low but filled with anger and frustration. "You are not allowed to act like we're still best friends."

It was apparent that my dad's words had no affect on Leah or too much time had passed for her to be the supportive friend that she had promised him she'd be. This was all my fault. I had to fix this.

"I'm sorry, Leah. I'm sorry for everything. I went about this all wrong."

"You went about what all wrong?" she questioned.

I sighed. "Leah..." I struggled to find the right words to say. I was never good at apologies, especially since I wasn't allowed to tell her the truth. How could I get her to understand?

"Spit it out, Jake," she pressed. "I don't have all day."

"It's...well, it's complicated."

"Oh yeah? I supposed this complication is the reason why you decided to join Sam's little band of misfit boys?" Her sarcasm was impossible to ignore.

"You could say that," I mumbled. "But we were wrong about Sam. You know he's a good guy. And the rest of them, well, they're pretty cool too."

"Really? And so you choose to spend all of your time with them over me and Quil, your real friends? You're turning out to be a really fickle person, Jacob," she accused. "One minute you're putting Bella Swan before us. Now's it's the Steroid Freaks, which by the way, are you on? Because you've gotten really big." She shook her head. "Either way, you still tossed me and Quil to the side like old play toys."

"I've haven't forgotten about you two," I said. "I told you, I needed some time to sort things out."

"Have you done it?" she asked, staring straight into my eyes with a gaze so intense that I had to look away.

"Have you done it?" Leah repeated. "Have you sorted things out?"

"Almost," I answered truthfully. I knew what I was now and why it had happened to me, but I still didn't know if I was fully capable of accepting it.

"So, I guess you can _almost_ be my friend again?"

"Leah, I'm trying okay?" I was getting frustrated again. "I'm trying to apologize and make things right."

I tried to concentrate on taking deep breaths and keeping my heartbeat regular. I had to get through this without losing my composure. _I had to_.

I walked over to a fallen tree at the edge of the forest, pulling Leah along with me. I sat down and pulled her into my lap. She didn't protest, _thank God._

"You are my best friend," I whispered. "I didn't mean to make you think anything different. All I was trying to do was keep you safe."

"I'm always safe with you, Jacob," she whispered. "But I need to know what's going on with you. I worry about you."

"I know you worry, but you don't have to. I admit, I wasn't in my right mind a couple of weeks ago, Lee-lee. But I'm okay now, for the most part. Sam and the guys have been very helpful.

"Things are getting better for me," I continued. "But even with them, I can't do this alone. I need you."

As soon as the words left my lips, I knew it was true. The guys were starting to look at me like they did Sam because I was his second. But I wasn't sure I was comfortable being that. There was so much I didn't know, like being a leader. I was more comfortable with being the only one I had to look out for; making decisions that only affected me. I felt like I was playing a role when I was with them.

But with Leah, she had no expectations of me. She didn't look to me for leadership and guidance. She was her own person and with her, I could be myself. I needed that feeling back. I needed her.

I wrapped my arms around her slim waist and leaned my head on her shoulder.

"I need my best friend," I whispered softly against her neck. She shivered and turned to face me.

"Need me for what?" she asked and her face was a mask of confusion.

How could I explain without violating Sam's stupid gag order?

"Something happened to me," I started but the rest of the words got stuck in my throat. Shit! I hated this part.

"I know none of this makes sense, but you've got to trust me..." I broke off my sentence. I had an idea. Emily!

Emily wasn't part of the pack therefore she didn't have to obey Sam's orders. She probably wouldn't tell Leah everything but she could tell her enough so that Leah wouldn't stay mad at me.

"Leah, I know I'm in no position to ask you for anything," I said, "but can you do me a favor and wait here for just a minute? I'll be right back."

"Sure, Jake," she sighed heavily and moved from my lap to the tree stump.

I ran towards the house calling Emily's name. When I was a few yards away she met me on the porch.

"Jake, Sam's looking for you," she said.

"Come here for a sec." I motioned for her to come off the porch. I didn't want everyone to know what I was up to. Sam would not be pleased that I enlisted his fiancée for help with his ex-girlfriend.

"What is it?" Emily asked when she met me on the road. "Where's Leah? Oh Jake, what did you do?"

"Nothing," I answered. "Leah's fine. She's right over there." I pointed to Leah, sitting on the fallen tree. I could see her just fine but Emily had to squint to see her cousin.

"Well, what is it?" she asked again.

"I need your help," I told her. "Leah's really mad at me and nothing I say is good enough to fix it. Because of Sam's order, I can't tell her anything that would help her understand. Please help me."

"I don't know, Jake," Emily shook her head. "Sam doesn't think that anyone should know about you guys."

"But it's Leah," I protested. "Her father's on the Council, for God's sake. She can be trusted. Plus, she's hurting, Em. I hate that I'm doing this to her. Please," I begged.

"You really care about my cousin, huh," Emily smiled.

"Yes."

Emily took a deep breath but I could tell from the look on her face that she was going to help.

"I hate that she's upset. First Sam, and now you. This has to be so hard on her. Both of the men she loves share the same secret and she ends up hurt by both of them."

Surprise was written all over my face. I couldn't hide it.

"Leah loves me?" I asked. "She's never said that before."

"She loves you in her own way," Emily amended. "She'll never admit it but I can tell. It's so obvious when she looks at you and by the way she smiles and her eyes light up when anyone mentions your name. She's just confused, and hurt." She patted me on my shoulder and smiled.

"I'll talk to her," Emily assured me. "But you better get inside. Sam's really anxious about something."

I walked into the house. Emily was right. Sam was anxious. He, Embry, and Jared had joined Paul in the living room. The energy in the room made the hair on my arms stand on end.

"What's going on?" I said, standing in front of the now off television.

"We found something in the woods, out by the cliffs," Embry spoke up. He was super excited.

"What?" Paul asked, his own excitement was growing.

"I don't know," Sam answered. "But I think we have a vampire around. It might be a Cullen. And if it is, it broke the treaty."

"Seriously!" Paul whooped. We all were thrilled now. The source of all our problems was back! And if it really had broken the treaty, we were going to kill it, if that was the right word.

Sam explained that he and Embry were out running the perimeter when they came across a sickly sweet smell that they didn't recognize.

"Just like Old Quil said," Sam told us. "The smell really did burn my nose. It smelled like burnt marshmallows and fruity cough syrup...and icy. Like breathing in ice cold air in the winter."

I wrinkled my nose. I wouldn't be roasting marshmallows again, that's for sure.

Sam continued to tell us that they followed the scent until it mixed with another scent that they had immediately recognized..._human blood_.

The local news had been reporting on a missing hiker for the last few days. The police and rangers had found his camp but there was no sign of him. That was another reason Sam had us up, running around the woods until all hours of the night. Since the authorities couldn't find the poor college kid, we were doing our part to help out, like Sam had done the night he found Bella in the woods.

After they had picked up the scent of blood, Sam and Embry hightailed it back to the house to get us, alerting Jared on the way. If there was a vampire here and it was hunting humans, it probably wouldn't be alone. It would take the five of us to bring them down.

We didn't have to be told to phase. Adrenaline was racing through our bodies and our hearts were pounding so hard that any second Emily and Leah could walk through the door into their worst nightmare.

"Let's go," Paul shouted. He raced out of the back door – the quickest way to the forest – and we followed right behind him.

"I'm going to tell Emily what's going on," Sam yelled. "Don't go anywhere without me!"

Emily and Sam's place was so secluded that we didn't have to wait until we were in the woods to phase. Nobody would see us. We burst out of our clothes before the back door slammed shut.

_What the hell is Sam doing?_ Paul was eager to get running. He always was. I was the fastest in the pack but Paul was definitely the strongest. And he couldn't wait to test his strength against a vampire.

_You know there's no way that Sam's going on a vampire hunt without kissing his bride-to-be goodbye_, Jared commented.

For a second I was lost in my own world, forgetting about the pack, and thinking about what Emily was telling Leah that would help our situation.

_What was that, Jake?_ Paul interrupted after hearing Leah's name in my mind.

_Nothing._

_Emily's going to tell Leah everything, isn't she?_ Embry wondered. _If she does, Sam's going to kill you for even asking._

_Asking what?_ The pack turned at the sound of Sam's approaching voice.

_What did you ask, Jake?_

There wasn't a way to keep it to myself, with the rest of the pack already aware of what I'd done. I didn't even have the energy to try.

_I asked Emily to talk to Leah for me, to help her understand what's going on with me._

_Why? _ Sam's voice was angry.

_Because_, I snapped. _She deserves to know something. You may have let this wolf thing ruin your relationship with her but I won't. I don't see why it's such a big damn secret anyway. Back in the day, the entire tribe knew who the wolves were; at least that's what the stories say. We should at least be able to tell the people who love us._

_It's a secret because that's the way it is,_ Sam was speaking to all of us, not just me. _And you are not to put Emily in a situation to explain to your friends, your girlfriends, grandmothers, parents...anyone...what has happened._

_She's already promised to talk to_ her _cousin_, I replied smugly.

_Just don't let it happen again,_ Sam warned. _Now let's go. Stay tight and alert. We don't need to be separated under any circumstances, especially if this scent is vampire._

We took off in a thunderous race to get to the spot where Sam and Embry had picked up the strange scent. It felt like we were flying as we raced through the thick forest. My feet didn't even feel the ground underneath them as adrenaline pumped through my body. This feeling was more exhilarating than anything I've ever done!

We ran for a couple if miles before Sam started to slow down.

_Stop_, he ordered and the four of us ground to a halt. I stopped beside him on the right, Jared on his left.

Immediately, I smelled the awful sugary smell that we were expecting. We yelped in pain as the scent singed our noses.

_My God, that shit stinks,_ Paul griped.

_And definitely not human or animal,_ Jared added.

We started a slow trot, sniffing at the trail until the sweet scent disappeared and all that was left was the smell of decaying meat and blood.

_Is that what I think it is?_ I thought. My eyes flashed to a backpack and a bright yellow sliver of vinyl hidden behind some trees. The only thing they made in that bright yellow was raincoats.

We eased closer to investigate and the stench of a rotting corpse overcame us. We all groaned. Charlie and the forest rangers could give up their hopes of finding the hiker alive. We'd found him and he was clearly dead.

_Aww man_, Embry groaned. _It ate him!_

The ashen grayish color of the boy was the grossest thing I've ever seen. Seeing death in real life was so much worse than in the movies.

I growled as I thought about the innocence that was taken away from the poor kid, lying on the ground, the terrified look of his death mask. All he wanted to do was hike through the forest, maybe camp out for a night or two, before having to go back to school. And some filthy, smelly bloodsucker had hunted him down and sucked the life right out of him...literally.

_What do we do with him?_ Jared – the more compassionate of us all, besides Sam – asked.

But Sam was at a lost. His mind was racing as he tried to come up with a decision that would protect the pack from discovery or something else we hadn't even considered...a manhunt. Of course everyone's first instinct would be that an animal had done this. They'd come searching for the giant bears that everyone was afraid of and we'd be running around searching for vampires. We'd probably get ourselves shot.

_That's what I know, Jake,_ Sam grunted. _But we have to alert someone that this body is here._

_I think we should do a quick search of the area. That thing may still be around, _I suggested_. If we don't find it, we can get the Council assembled and let them know what we found. They can decide what to do about the body and we can hunt._

_ That sounds like a good plan, Jacob._ Sam was even a little surprised that I'd been the first to make a good suggestion.

_I just don't think that we need to be wasting time. There's a bloodsucker in the area, _I explained.

_Yeah. I like Jake's plan._ I wasn't surprised that Paul agreed with me. He was literally chomping at the bits for Sam to give us permission to do _something_.

_Okay, let's go,_ Sam decided. _Remember what I said about staying together._

Leaving the dead kid where we found him was hard but we had to. The pack ran off in the direction that Sam thought that the vampire would have gone. We picked up the scent again, a little further out but it wasn't fresh. It was a couple of days old.

_Damn it!_ Sam howled in frustration after we'd covered miles of forest without picking up a fresh trail.

_Where the hell is this thing?_

_Let's go back to the rez_, Embry suggested. _We'll talk to the Council and we should come up with some kind of strategy. Running around looking for something that we've never seen before could get one of us hurt._

Sam agreed and, defeatedly, we went home. Surprisingly, the Council had no answers as to what we could do to find the leech. We settled at Emily's house, once again, and over dinner, we strategized, deciding that there was only one vampire out there. That allowed us to take shifts, to hunt in pairs like we'd been doing. We wouldn't give up. We'd find this creature and destroy it. We were hoping to send a message to the others...stay the hell off Quileute lands.

****

I was lying on the couch, half sleeping and half watching television. I'd just finished an eight hour shift in the woods, with Paul and Embry. Our search was long and fruitless.

I came home, devoured a pack of hot dogs with chili my dad made and a bag of chips, and then stretched out on the couch. I fell asleep watching one of my favorite television shows but I couldn't even pay attention to what was happening. It was just background noise.

Even in my sleep, I heard light footsteps crossing my yard. I opened my eyes. There was only one person who was ballsy enough to come over for a visit at three in the morning.

"It's open, Leah," I called out when I heard her on the porch. I was just glad that my dad could sleep through anything.

The front door creaked open and Leah smiled sheepishly when she slipped into the dark living room. She was wearing pajama shorts, one of my old t-shirts that she'd stolen months ago, and she was barefoot. Her long hair was disheveled and despite her small smile, something was bothering her. I made room for her on the couch and she snuggled next to me like she had done so many times before...before Bella, before the phasing...when life had been so simple.

"What brings you over here?" I whispered. Even though Billy Black could sleep through a tornado, I didn't have the energy to speak in a regular voice.

"I needed to be near you," Leah whispered too. But she was whispering for a different reason. The light from the television revealed the glistening of tears in my best friend's eyes. Leah was whispering to keep me from hearing the tearful cracking of her voice.

"What's wrong, babe?" I tightened my arms around Leah's waist and pulled her tighter against my bare chest. I felt a familiar stirring as Leah's backside brushed against my crotch. Inside, I groaned. This was not the time.

"I talked to Emily," Leah whispered. "After you ran off, she came to talk to me. She told me some..._things_."

I took a deep breath and hoped for Leah to continue. It probably wouldn't be the easiest conversation we've ever had but at least she'd know and could decide what she wanted to do with that information.

"What did she say?"

"Well," Leah hesitated and shifted her body nervously.

My heart started to pound as her movement caused the luscious smell of her hair to invade my senses. She smelled so good!

"She said that you, Embry, Jared, Paul, and Sam have a special gift, a gift that was passed on to you from your great-grandfathers."

I wouldn't have qualified the ability to transform into a monster as a gift, but to each his own. Only the people who this supposed gift affected thought it was a curse. Everyone who knew – and that number was few – thought it was more special than it was.

"She said that you guys use this gift...this special talent...to protect us. Then she gave me a notebook to read. And she said to read my father's old tribal books and journals if I didn't believe what she written in her notebook."

"Did you read it?"

"Jacob," she whispered. "I've been reading for the past twenty-four hours. I read the notebook. Then I read a couple of my dad's books. Then I got online and did some research on the stuff I read."

"And..." I pressed. Leah was like me when it came to a project, a bit obsessive.

"I believe it," she finished. "I believe everything that I read. It makes sense. And after I finished, I went back to Emily's. Sam was asleep. I asked her about it. She didn't confirm what I'd read, she just asked me how I felt about it."

"And how do you feel about it?" I asked her. I was afraid to know the answer but I had to. No matter what she said, it would be honest. Leah always told me the truth, no matter what it was.

She rolled over in my arms and looked me in my eyes.

"I know what happened to you, Jake, and to the others. And I feel that you are the bravest, most special person that I've had the privilege to know. I don't know how you feel about what you have, but I feel like it's quite an honor and I'm blessed to have you as my best friend."

I wasn't sure if I'd fallen back to sleep and was dreaming. I had to be because there was no way Leah could be so understanding about all of this.

"Are you serious?"

"I wouldn't joke about this, Jake," she assured me.

Leah ran her fingers over my arms, massaging my tender muscles. Her hands were soft and warm as she continued to roam my body as she gazed into my eyes with admiration.

"Brave," she whispered. "Strong, beautiful...Protector. You're officially my hero, Jacob Black." She smiled and pressed her lips against mine and kissed me.

We hadn't kissed like this in awhile and suddenly, when I slid my hand up Leah's shirt and felt her smooth warm skin, my heart started to pound and the painful fire started inside me.

"Leah...I can't," I said as I tried to pull away from her lustful embrace.

"It's okay," she soothed and massaged the muscles in my back. "I know what's happening. If you need to leave...go," she said. "I'll be here when you need me."

Her massaging hands and soothing words seemed to calm me down as the heat began to fade. This was new. Leah had always been the one person who could make me frustrated, angry, excited, or anything else that could trigger the phase, but here she was, calming me when I needed it the most.

She planted soft kisses on my shoulders and chest as my heartbeat regulated itself. I didn't know what was turning Leah on more, the fact that I was a werewolf, or the fact that we could be friends...we could be together again.

"We need each other," she said to me. Her voice was husky with the desire that I could smell emanating off of her. The scent was like no other that I've smelled before. My instinct to take her was animalistic but I couldn't do anything about it.

I scooped her up and lifted her off the couch in one fluid motion. She wrapped her legs around my waist eagerly and crushed her lips against mine as I walked to my room. I didn't even turn on the light and much to my amazement I didn't trip or run into anything as I walked blindly down the hallway.

Lean nudged my bedroom door closed with her foot. Then she expertly eased my shorts down to the floor with her legs, and her lips never left mine. I eased her onto my bed and slid her shorts off.

Urgently, she wrapped her legs around my waist again as I entered her with raw animal passion. She was so wet, so tight...so beautiful. And I missed her.

For a moment – just an instant – I was afraid that the thrill of being with Leah was enough to send me over the edge. Only when I obliged and saw the wild, yet serene and peaceful look in Leah's eyes did I realize that I was going to be okay.

****

Later, I laid next to my gorgeous best friend...my rock, the only person in the world who I was willing to do anything for. I would die for Leah Clearwater and would do it with a smile on my face if I had to.

Leah curled up next to me, our naked bodies drenched in sweat and glistening in the moonlight. She looked like an angel.

"It's been a long time since we did _that_," Leah smiled.

"That's because you didn't want to," I reminded her.

"You know why," she replied. Then she became quiet again.

"What?" I asked sleepily.

"Since we just did that, I'm thinking that things didn't go well with Bella."

I took a deep breath. Hearing Bella's name sent angry ripples through my body.

"You can say that," I muttered. "We're not really friends anymore."

"We don't have to talk about that," she said. "I'm not trying to upset you. I just didn't want to feel like I just seduced some girl's boyfriend. Sorry," she added.

"About what? I'm not anyone's boyfriend. Seduce me all you want."

She smiled up at me. "Not again tonight, tiger. You need to sleep." Leah giggled. "I mean _wolf._"

****

I don't know how long I slept. When I finally woke up it was dark and I was alone. I literally fell out of my bed when I rolled over to get up. I looked at the small twin sized bed that I had outgrown way before I became a werewolf and had this growth spurt. My room couldn't hold a bigger bed unless that was all that I wanted in my room. But I had to do something. Maybe I could make it a little bigger, modify it a little bit, with Jared's help. He was good with building stuff.

I walked into the kitchen. There was a note stuck to the fridge...pink paper with Leah's curly handwriting.

_Jake – took your Dad to the council meeting. Sam came by but told us to let you sleep. He said to call him when you get up. TTYL, Leah _

Balancing a giant bowl of cereal, a gallon of orange juice, and the cordless phone, I walked into the living room and settled on the couch. I called Sam first. He answered on the first ring.

"What's up?" I asked. "You came by?"

"Leah..." he said angrily. "She knows." He said it like a statement instead of a question.

"So," I answered back. "I didn't tell her. Neither did Emily, actually. She figured it out."

"Figured it out, my ass," Sam snapped.

"Whatever," I said, irritated with the conversation. "What's done is done. You should be happy that she understands what happened. Maybe she won't hate you so much now."

"That's not the point, Jake," Sam replied. "I told you not to tell her."

"And I didn't tell her," I reminded him. "Besides, I already told you how I feel about your gag order."

"Who else did you have 'figure it out'?"

"No one. My dad knows. Leah knows. Quil's goin to change any day now so I'll let you tell him. I'm good. Every one I care about knows what's going on."

"What about Bella?" he asked.

I cringed. "How the hell would she know? I haven't seen her since that night I phased for the first time."

"That's good."

But I couldn't tell what he meant by 'that's good'. Was it good that Bella didn't know or that I hadn't seen her? I didn't feel like asking for clarification.

"So you came by to ask me about Leah? That's it?" I changed the subject. I didn't want to talk about Bella. I didn't want to think about her. It was too difficult.

"No. They found the hiker. Harry called Charlie and let him know. It was on the news. They took the body."

"Are you going out tonight?" I asked. I was refreshed and ready to track down the creature that had killed the boy. In the back of my mind, I was still hoping that it was a Cullen.

"Yeah, but it's just me tonight."

"Why? Where are the others?"

"Embry's grounded for sneaking out the other night," Sam answered. I laughed.

Poor Embry. It was harder for him, Paul, and Jared because they weren't allowed to share the secret with anyone either. Their parents had no idea of what they were. Thankfully, Paul's mom worked nights so she wasn't aware that he was up half the night, running with the pack. Jared's mom was cool. I guess single working mothers couldn't pay much attention to the antics of their teenage sons. It probably wasn't even worth it, as long as they weren't getting into trouble.

The Calls were different. Both of Embry's parents worked during the day and fully expected their son to conform to the life of a regular teenager. He had a curfew and was punished if he broke it. In order to run with us, he had to sneak out at night. Sometimes he got caught and his parents grounded him. He still continued to sneak out though. He didn't have a choice.

"I figured I'd let his mom calm down a bit before making him come out on another late night run," Sam said.

"Yeah, but Embry probably isn't too happy with that. He likes running with us. Maybe you should let him tell his folks what's going on. It would be so much easier for him."

"He hasn't asked for permission, Jake. Unlike some people, Embry recognizes the need for secrecy."

I caught his not so subtle jab and rolled my eyes. "Whatever. Where are Paul and Jared then?"

"Paul took your place this morning so he's probably asleep. Jared...well, Jared's a little occupied," Sam chuckled.

"With what?"

"You'll see soon enough," Sam stated.

"Well, I'll come with you," I said. "I'm not doing anything."

"Leah's on her way back to your house with Billy," Sam answered. "I'm sure that she's going to want to talk to you."

"Believe me, she won't mind." I was a little irritated that Sam still felt that he knew Leah better than me. Sure, he was in relationship with her but I knew Leah in ways that he only wished he knew. He was quite aware of it too...and he didn't like it. I didn't care. He had his chance with her and blew it. I would not.

"Alright. Meet me by my house, then," Sam agreed and we hung up the phone.

I heard Leah's Honda coming down the street and exited out of the back door. It would be easier for me to not be there when she arrived if she did want to talk. I ran into the woods and stripped out of my shorts and shoes, hiding them behind some bushes so that they would be available when I came home. I could not be seen emerging from the woods stark naked. I wasn't _that guy_.

I met Sam at his house in a matter of minutes. My speed still continued to impress our fearless leader.

_Will you please stop calling me that, Jake_, Sam asked. _It's annoying._

Oops.

We started our run in silence. The night sounds of the forest and our large paws thudding against the moist ground was the only thing I could hear. I could tell that Sam was being overly careful not to think about anything. But I wasn't. I kept thinking about Leah and what had happened and how good I felt knowing that she finally knew the truth. It was like a burden was lifted from me.

Suddenly, Sam came to a grinding halt. I sniffed the air and didn't smell anything that should have made him stop dead in his tracks.

_What's up?_ I asked. _What do you smell...or see?_

Sam stood, frozen like a statue, all of his short black fur standing on end. He panted heavily.

_You and Leah had sex?_ he growled. I gulped. I thought he already knew that. The rest of the guys did.

_When?_ I asked. Maybe he was just mad about last night.

_You've_ been _sleeping with my ex?_ A guttural snarl left his body and I stepped back into a defensive stance. I've never seen Sam this angry, not even when we found the body of the hiker.

_What's the problem?_ I asked nervously. _It's not like I slept with your girlfriend. You and her aren't together anymore. You have Emily._

_What the hell are you doing, Jacob?_ he snarled. _Just because I'm not with her, doesn't mean Leah Clearwater is fair game. She's not some chick you just sleep with and be done with. And what the hell are you doing having sex? You're only sixteen._

_Don't give me that age crap, _I fired back_. And I'm not just sleeping with Leah. I'm not using her for my own pleasure, if that's what you think. I didn't even start it last night. Most of the time, I don't. Maybe you should be yelling at her!_

I let my thoughts go back to the first time that Leah and I had sex without getting too explicit and some of the other times when she instigated the situation so Sam could see that I wasn't lying. He groaned in agony.

_I don't understand_, I snarled. And I was a bit angry. _Am I not good enough for Leah, in your opinion? And what gives you the right to determine who's good for her and who isn't?_

_She's special, Jake. And after all that she's been through, she deserves more than someone who can't love her the way she deserves to be loved._

_ Like you?_

_ No, like you._

I growled menacingly and changed my stance. Leader or not, Sam was going down.

_You better not attack me_, he warned. _And you know I'm telling the truth. You're the one who's always thinking 'Bella this' and 'Bella that'. How can you love Leah if you're in love with a girl who's in love with a vampire?_

His thoughts stopped me in my tracks. I wasn't even aware that I'd been thinking about Bella that often while I was in wolf form. I tried to keep those thoughts to myself for times when I was alone.

_You're not doing a very good job of it,_ Sam answered.

_You need to mind your business,_ I snapped. _Besides, how can you be so concerned about someone hurting Leah after what you did to her? She still hasn't recovered from that and whether it's me or some other guy, I don't think she ever will._

The low blow was something that Sam didn't want to hear but I was determined to let him have it. He took off running again but I caught up to him all the same.

_You can't run away from it, Sam,_ I told him. _If I have to hear about it and see how bad you hurt her, then you do too._

_You say it like I meant to hurt her and I didn't. I loved Leah. I was happy with Leah. I couldn't tell her about me being a werewolf but we were working through it. _

_Yeah, then you saw her cousin and everything changed._

_Exactly!_ He thought the word with so much emphasis that for a second I thought that he said it out loud.

_What are you talking about, Sam? Cuz I don't believe in any of that love at first sight, romantic comedy bullshit. Neither does Leah._

We were at the top of the cliffs, looking over the water and miles from where we started before Sam spoke again. His heart was pounding so hard that I thought it would jump out of his chest.

_There's something about us that you need to know, _he said but his voice was the familiar voice of the Alpha. He often spoke that way when he gave an order or talked about what we are. _Being that you're such a hopeless romantic and all, _he added sarcastically. _Or at least because you've got your own little love triangle._

_ What?_

_ We're supposed to pass along the wolf trait to our offspring. Therefore, it's much easier if you have a mate that is allowed to know what you are. It's not common but I think it might happen more in our pack because of its size._

_ What are you talking about?_ I asked anxiously.

_Imprinting, it's something that animals do. And us._

_What the hell is it?_ I started to ask but I remembered something I read in a textbook about certain species mating for life so that their offspring would be the strongest in the herd...or pack.

_That's right, _Sam stated. _We imprint too. It's how we find our mates. _

I wanted to laugh so badly and the bark that came out did in fact sound like a laugh.

_Sure, sure, I'll bite. What is it?_

_It's hard to explain. But when I first saw Emily, nothing else mattered in the world, except her. It was like the dynamic of my world completely changed in one millisecond. Gravity was no longer keeping me on the ground. It was her._

His thoughts took me back to the day on the beach when he first saw Emily, walking with Leah. I was awestruck at the amount of emotion he felt for Emily before she had even spoken a word to him.

_Wow,_ I whispered.

_See, I didn't have a choice. As much I didn't want to break Leah's heart, I had to be with Emily. She completes me. We're meant to be together. I'm only telling you this so you'll stop thinking that I'm such a douche, that I left Leah for her cousin. And so you'll know that if it happens to you, not only will you hurt Leah too, you're going to hurt Bella, if she even feels for you like that._

_ How do you know I won't imprint on either one of them?_

_ If you were going to imprint on Leah, it would have happened by now._

_ What about Bella? _I wanted to know.

_ We'll just have to see. But I doubt it. _ That was all he would say about that.

I listened harder to see if he would slip and think something else about Bella but for the rest of the night, he didn't think anything else about her. Most of the time he filled his mind with thoughts of Emily, to try to erase the images I'd given him of me and Leah. But mostly, his mushy love scenes with Emily were his way to avenge the images I'd burned into his brain.

We ran for hours, halfway to Canada without catching a fresh trail. It had been like that for days. But we'd get it; there was no doubt in my mind that whatever type of leech was hunting on our lands, its days were numbered.

****

"What the hell happened to you last night?" I said to Jared as I approached him and Paul standing outside of the Ateara's General Store. They were wearing shorts like me and for once, it wasn't raining. It was cloudy though. It was early in the day, but for some reason I couldn't sleep. I had a feeling that something was going to happen today, although I had no idea what it was.

As soon as I spoke, Paul looked at Jared and burst out laughing. Jared punched him in the stomach and Paul doubled over, still laughing.

"What's so funny?" I asked. "What happened last night?

"Jared had a date last night," Paul told me. It sounded reasonable enough and not as funny as he was making it seem. What was funny about Jared having a date?

"And?"

Paul leaned over close to me. "Watch his face," he said in a low voice. I looked at Jared.

"He had a date with...Kim from his English class." Then Paul burst out laughing again. I stared at Jared's face and immediately knew why Paul was laughing.

Jared's expression had softened and his eyes glazed over with a look of pure infatuation when Paul said Kim's name. It was the same look we've seen on Sam's face.

"What a wuss!" Paul whooped. "He's so in love with this girl that it's oozing out of his eyes!"

"Shut up, Paul," Jared shouted. But he knew it was the truth.

"Jared, did you imprint on Kim?" I asked and wrinkled my nose. There was nothing really special about Kim. She wasn't even that cute. I remembered when we were in Port Angeles on the ski trip and the look on her face when she saw me half naked. She certainly didn't look like she liked Jared then. I made a mental note to not bring that up at all while we were in wolf form.

"Imprint?" Paul said. "That thing that Sam told us about? Did that happen to you, Jared...with Kim?"

Jared nodded. "I think so. I mean, I've sat next to her every day at school and nothing. Then last week, I'm sitting in class and she passes me a handout. I looked up at her and all I could think of for the rest of the day was her."

"I'm so glad I didn't have to run with you," I commented, remembering how tortuous it was to be around Sam last night.

"I can't believe you imprinted on Kim," Paul jeered loudly. "Of all people. She's not even the cutest-" I poked him in his ribs...hard...so that he wouldn't finish his sentence. Jared would surely fight him if he said something derogatory about Kim.

A low howl came from deep in the forest, too low for anyone but the three of us to hear.

"That's Sam," I said. We were used to hearing the familiar howl, calling for us to phase and join him.

"Let's go," I told them. We took off running for the forest. We cut behind the store and darted across the highway. Cars honked at us but we kept running until we were safe in the trees.

We slipped off our shoes and shook our shorts off. Normally, I'd be hesitant about running through the trees naked with two boys but we phased so quickly I'm sure that neither of them noticed. We caught up with Sam and Embry at our usual meeting place. They were frantic and excited. They'd caught a fresh scent.

_It's back_, Sam told us. _We caught a fresh scent a few miles from here._

_Do you think it knows that we're looking for it?_ Jared asked.

_That's the point of the secret,_ Sam said. _Vampires don't know that we exist._

_ Unless, it's a Cullen,_ I said.

_It's not, Jake, _Embry told me. _We caught a glimpse of him. I've never seen him before._

_ Well, why are we standing here?_ Paul questioned. _Let's go._

Normally that would have been Sam's line – he even thought it – but in this situation, we all were thinking the same thing.

_It's headed south_, Sam advised and that's the direction we ran in.

A few miles later, I started to recognize the path we were on. I'd hiked this same path with Bella. I slowed and the rest of the pack roared past me. Something wasn't right. Something was very wrong.

A few yards ahead of me, Sam stopped the pack. I sniffed at the air and the icy stink of the vampire burned my nostrils. It was here!

But there was another scent too...floral and human. There was a vampire and a human nearby. My ears perked up when I heard voices.

_Jacob, stay back_, Sam ordered and my feet stopped moving. The pack was standing in a thicket of chest high ferns. I couldn't actually see what had stopped them in their path but I could see it in their minds.

_Bella!_

Bella was standing in the middle of the circular meadow just a few feet away from a Rastafarian looking vampire with dreadlocks. The stink of it was overwhelming the pack. So was our instinct to attack.

_Shut up!_ Sam was yelling at the pack. I'd missed what they were saying.

_She knows him_, Sam said, shocked by the thought. _Be quiet guys, I'm trying to hear what he's saying to her._

I didn't want to hear what the leech was saying. I tried to inch forward but the weight of Sam's command wouldn't let me. Instead I watched the scene play out from the eyes of the pack.

"You've caught me at a bad time, Bella. I didn't come to this place on Victoria's mission. I was hunting. I'm quite thirsty, and you do smell...simply mouthwatering."

"He'll know it was you," Bella whispered. She was terrified. I could smell her fear from yards away. It overpowered me. This was the first time I'd seen Bella in weeks and it had to be like this...in my wolf form, about to destroy one of her friends.

"You won't get away with this," she added, ever so brave.

"And why not?" The leech's smile widened as he gazed around the small meadow. "The scent will wash away with the next rain. No one will find your body. You'll simply go missing, like so many, many other humans. There's no reason for Edward to think of me, if he cares enough to investigate. This is nothing personal; let me assure you, Bella. Just thirst."

I hated the way the leech said her name. I hated that he even knew her name. What the hell was she doing with him? Why was she alone? Damn it, Bella.

_Sam, Jake's losin his mind back there_, Paul spoke up. _Can we just do this, please, before he goes nuts?_

_ Come on,_ Sam said. _I've heard enough._

Just like that, I was able to move again. The pack moved stealthily, silently, as one unit. I saw the bloodsucker whip his head abruptly towards the ferns and slowly started backing up as we eased out of the trees, Sam first, followed by Jared, Paul, Embry, then me.

"I don't believe it," the dreadlocked monster whispered in awe. We saw fear in his cold, dead, red eyes as he started to back away from Bella.

_That's right, bloodsucker, run away_, Paul thought.

We continued a slow walk into the meadow. There was no telling what the vampire would do. Would he attack us?

A loud gasp escaped Bella's lips as she realized what was right in front of her, a pack of the biggest wolves she'd ever seen. I turned my head slightly and looked at her. She was still terrified but at that moment, I didn't feel what I felt in the movie theater. That feeling was gone, replaced by the knowledge that she was in love with the very thing that I was bound to kill. And that she hadn't told me. And by the anger that she had once again gotten herself into a precarious situation with only the help of her own two feet. Only Isabella Swan would go hiking alone in the unfamiliar woods.

_Jacob_, Sam snarled, _pay attention_.

The bloodsucker was staring at us with unconcealed shock and fear. Without warning he spun around and ran into the trees. We were after him a second later, sprinting across the field faster than we've ever run before as a pack. Anger and adrenaline was our motivation as we snarled in unison at the bloodsucker, letting him know that he would not get away from us. I only hoped that Bella had enough sense to run home too.

The creature was fast but no match for the five of us. He knew it too as he skidded to a stop and spun around, prepared for a fight.

_No Paul!_ Sam yelled as Paul leapt through the air at the sickly looking creature.

With a powerful blow the vampire knocked Paul out of the air. He went flying into Jared.

A snarl ripped from Paul's mouth with the instinct to kill. At once we all lunged at the same time for the leech. There was no where for him to go as five wolves attacked him. He tumbled to the ground, kicking and screaming, trying to fight us off to no avail.

He was hard, like a marble slab and the closeness of his scent stung, but we were made for this! We tore at his rocky flesh, our teeth screeching and cutting through the granite skin.

He screamed when Paul tore off a chunk of his shoulder and spat the pallid piece of rock away.

_We have to rip him to pieces, _Sam reminded us as he sank his teeth into the bloodsucker's arm and tore. It ripped off and the thing howled in pain. I was able to get my teeth around his throat. I hated the feel of the vampire's flesh in my mouth as I bit down. This was no deer. I shook my head violently and a piece of its throat detached from its body as Jared and Paul clawed at his face and head. A loud ripping sound filled the small clearing and then the vampire was headless and its body stopped moving altogether.

What looked like an explosion of pasty rocks surrounded us as we gazed around the clearing.

_Is it dead?_ Embry asked.

_It was dead when we started_, Paul said lightly. _What do we do with it now?_

_We have to burn the pieces,_ Sam told us. _Jared, Embry, phase back and start a fire. We'll stay like this just in case._

It didn't take long for them to build the fire. We helped gather all of the pieces of the destroyed creature and tossed them into the fire. As soon as we were sure that we'd gotten every piece, Jared and Embry phased back so they wouldn't have to sit around the fire, nude.

The atmosphere was practically celebratory as thick pillars of purplish gray smoke billowed into the sky. The thoughts of the pack were jubilant.

We'd done what we were made to do and it was easy! None of us had even been hurt, though the vamp did try to take a bite out of Jared's leg.

_Man, that thing was fast_, Embry said. _But we're so much faster than them. I never thought I could run that fast._

_He smelled like a bottle of Dimetapp_, Paul joked. _But when I bit him, he tasted like old sawdust._

_Do you make it a habit of eating sawdust, Paul?_ Jared teased. _Because if that's what your breath smells like, you'll never get a girlfriend._

I stood by the cackling fire, staring at the smoke towering into the sky. Yeah, we'd done what we were supposed to do and I shared the same joy as my brothers but something else was there...concern.

The vampire was going in for the kill when we found him. Bella had almost died. In that moment, I felt more than just anger towards her. She wasn't a Quileute but she was human and she was my friend. I had to protect her too.

But what would she think about me and my pack destroying her friends? Because that's what it would come down to. Would she be able to accept me as I am? Would I be able to protect her?

The only reason she was alone in that meadow today was because I wasn't there. I hadn't been there. Like I had done with Leah, I'd taken away my friendship without an explanation. At least with Leah, Sam was okay with her knowing the truth. I could never tell Bella...ever.

Like Sam had said earlier, the point of the secret was that our identity remain hidden from the creatures we were destined to destroy, our mortal enemies. Bella was friends with our enemies and she was not one of us. She was an outsider and could not be trusted with our secret.

_I'm glad you see it that way,_ Sam spoke to me as he stood beside me. _We'll do our best to protect her, for Charlie's sake. But she made her decision. She runs with vampires. Maybe she'll come around, maybe she won't. But you must not tell her._

It was meant to be comforting but I could tell when Sam was giving me an order. His injunction was clear.

_Lighten up, Jake. We have something to celebrate_, Sam urged. _I saw you yelp when the vampire grabbed you by the neck._

I cringed. That wasn't a pleasant memory.

_Yeah, I saw that too,_ Paul joined in. _ He wouldn't have been able to grab a hold of you if your fur wasn't so pretty and long_, he teased.

_Shut up. I can't help that my hair is long._

_And that's why, when we get back to the rez, _Sam announced, _Jacob Black is getting his first haircut!_

The pack...all five of us howled and yelped. In that moment, we were tighter than ever and apparently, indestructible. We'd protected our tribe and the hundreds of tourists and hikers that visited our forest from a filthy parasite. Leah's urgent whisper filled my head. At that moment, we were exactly what she had said we were...

Protectors. Heroes.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22 **

With the threat of the vampire gone, life on the reservation became normal again. We didn't have to be wolves as often but the five of us still spent most of our time together. Emily and Kim were always included. They never seemed to get sick of us interrupting their alone time with their boyfriends.

As much as we could, me, Paul, and Embry stayed away from the two couples. Being around four people who were deeply devoted to one another and completely in love could be extremely tiring.

At school, everything was completely the same. When the semester had changed after Christmas, Leah had added her last two senior course requirements to her schedule so we didn't have any classes together, only lunch. Embry and I still had practically every class together and one with Paul who is a year ahead of us.

The only problem was we still had every class with Quil. I tried to be civil, so did Embry, but he was so mad at us that even a simple hello had the possibility to turn into a potentially bad situation.

I noticed that even though she knew, Leah didn't sit with us that often at lunch. She sat with her girlfriends or with Quil. I guess the idea of hanging with werewolves didn't appeal to her as much as it did the night she figured everything out.

_Quil._

Quil's sixteenth birthday was just one week away. Sam had a feeling that he would turn right after his birthday. The Council thought so too. It was a waiting game now, because Quil had all the signs. He was getting taller and more muscular like the rest of us. And he never smiled anymore. If his body was going through the changes that ours had; the increased body temperature, the growing pains of getting taller and more muscular so quickly, then I understood. I had been in constant pain before the change occurred. If he was feeling these things, there was no reason to smile anymore.

The change would happen and we wouldn't have to avoid our friend anymore. Matter of fact, we wouldn't even be able to get rid of him. That was a good thing..._I guess_. I didn't want to rush his transformation but I missed hanging out with him. He hadn't even been able to ride in the Rabbit yet. He was the only one. This part of the change was the worst for me. I hated abandoning the normal life I had in order to protect the tribe. But it was my duty now. I had no choice.

Wednesday afternoon was starting to get to me. It was nice and sunny outside and all I wanted to do was not be in class, listening to Mr. Spencer go on and on about the effects of sunlight on plants. It was boring and the reason I kept staring out the window. Thankfully, it was almost time for lunch.

I heard Sam, my dad, and Harry before I saw them. They were coming up the walkway in front of the school.

"Hey," I nudged Embry, who was doodling on his desk and not paying attention either.

"What?"

"Sam's here. He's with my dad and Harry."

"What's he doing here?" Embry asked and I shrugged.

"Let's go see." I gathered my book bag and stood up. Embry did the same.

Mr. Spencer stopped in mid-sentence and stared at us.

"Boys, where are you going?" he asked, amazed at how we towered over him. We didn't mean to look menacing but at 6'5", we couldn't help it.

"Bathroom," Embry and I said in unison. The rest of the class laughed as we walked past the flabbergasted teacher and into the hallway.

Paul and Jared were coming out of their Calculus class as we rounded the corner. They were carrying book bags too.

"Did you see Sam?" I asked.

"No, I heard them. What are they doing here?" Paul asked.

Before we could answer, Sam and Harry, pushing Billy in his chair, entered the hallway just as the bell rang. The classrooms emptied around us. I heard a few snickers from guys as they saw us standing in the middle of the hallway. But it was the giggly whispers of the girls that caught my attention.

"Look at them," one girl whispered. "They look so tough, like a real gang."

"They look hot," another girl whispered to her friend. "Jacob, especially. He should wear nothing else but tight black t-shirts. He looks amazing."

"They all do. Emily is so lucky. Sam is gorgeous."

"The others aren't hard on the eyes either."

I grinned at Embry. Seems like I wasn't the only one the girls were getting up to come to school for.

"What's up?" I said to Sam. Even though it was loud in the hallways, I knew he could hear me.

"Charlie just called. Two more hikers are missing. They found their gear but no bodies."

"Damn it," Paul growled while his body started to quiver.

"Paul, calm down," Harry insisted. "Not here."

"Another bloodsucker?" Jared asked. His eyes had darkened. He was getting angry too.

Sam nodded. "I think so. Maybe the other one's mate. All of the stories say they travel in twos."

"Then let's go," I said. Immediately the others started to follow me out of the door. I was shocked to see them turn at my order. Normally that only happened when Sam spoke.

We walked outside amidst hushed whispers. I caught a very significant word from a girl I did not know..._warriors._

Of course that's what we'd remind her of. We moved in unison, like an army, even when we weren't wolves. I was sure that if anyone had taken a picture, we would have looked like young Indian warriors on our way to fight a battle...which we were.

We threw our bags into Harry's car and started to the woods by the school. We waited until we were deep enough into the forest to phase, leaving our clothes well hidden so we could come back to them.

_Where did they find the gear? _I asked Sam.

_Just a few miles outside of Forks_, was his reply as we ran in that direction. Maybe this time we wouldn't be too late. Maybe we could stop this thing before it killed anymore people.

We raced through the woods until we located the spot where Charlie and his officers had found the hikers' gear. It reeked of human blood and the all too familiar smell of vampire.

_Oww,_ Paul yelped.

A_re you going to cry every time we smell vampires?_ Embry groaned. _Because the scent isn't going to change. It's always going to burn. If it hurts that bad, stay home next time._

_What the hell is your problem?_ Paul thought forcefully. _Why do you have your panties in a bunch?_

_You're crying because your nose burns and it isn't helping the situation. You're not the only one whose nose is on fire. But we have more important things to worry about._

Paul snapped at Embry but he jumped out of his way. Paul's quick temper was going to be his downfall, I just knew it.

_Don't get mad because I'm telling the truth_, Embry stated.

_Both of you sound like a couple of girls_, I replied. I was about to tell them how I really felt about their bickering when it seemed like all the fur on my body stood straight on end.

There was a shift of the energy in the air. Something was here, very close to us. I looked over at Sam. He was standing at attention too. I flanked his right and Jared approached him on the left. Paul and Embry stopped arguing long enough to stand behind us in our usual formation.

_It's here_, I said. _Listen_.

A faint rustling in the trees gave away the vampire's location and we took off, as one unit, in that direction. I saw a flash of white skin and a brilliant wave of red hair as the vampire stayed mostly hidden in the trees.

_This one is quicker than the other one_, Sam noted. _Keep up, guys_, he yelled with a burst of speed.

The vampire sped up too and burst through a clearing in the trees. We were able to get a good look at what we were chasing and skidded to a stop.

_It's a girl_, Jared wailed. _Are we allowed to kill a girl?_

_It doesn't matter what it is_, Paul snarled. _It's a vampire. We see a vampire; we kill it, right Sam?_

_Yes. We can't think about their gender. Come on, she's getting away._

We started running again, sounding like a herd of stampeding buffalo. I hoped no one was out hiking or camping at that moment because the roar of the chase was thunderous. We were running full speed, but the red-headed vampire was too quick. She kept darting behind trees and over rock piles. At one point, I thought I had her. I had gotten close enough to lunge at her leg but at the moment I jumped, she jumped too, grabbing on to a tree branch and scaling to the top of the highest evergreen I'd ever seen. She jumped from tree top to tree top. There was no way we were getting up there.

_What do we do now?_ I huffed. _She's up in a fuckin tree!_

_She's got to come down sometime_, Embry stated.

_Man, I'm not standing around here waiting for it to get hungry enough to come down out of a damn tree_, Jared grumbled.

_And where the fuck are we?_ Paul roared.

We looked around at our unfamiliar surroundings. I'd never been to this part of the forest before. Apparently, neither had any one else.

_I don't know,_ Sam admitted. _We've been running for a long time...it's possible we're near the Canadian border._

_Canada!_ Paul yelled. _Shit!_

But I was impressed. If we really were near the border, that means we covered about a hundred miles in less than an hour!

_We should probably go back_, Sam muttered. I could tell that he really didn't want to. He would have been perfectly content staying right where we were until we got a good shot at the vampire.

I looked up into the tree tops and didn't see the red-head.

_Where'd she go?_

_She probably crossed over_, Sam answered. _She's not coming down, not while she knows that we're here. Let's head back while it's still light out._

****

The red-headed vampire had gotten away and we were not a happy pack of wolves. Our secret had been exposed to our enemy and we were sure that she would tell more of her kind that we existed. We didn't know what would happen next.

There was a chance that once she informed the others, no more vampires would cross our land for fear of their own pathetic lives. The pack solely existed for one reason and Sam was sure that vampires would be aware of that reason. If they chose to follow their instincts, their need for self-preservation, we would not be troubled.

But...and there's always a but...there was the possibility that there were vampires out there who were not afraid of us, that would gladly and boldly cross into our territory, determined to destroy us. That was Sam's biggest fear. Especially if they came in large numbers.

I refused to acknowledge that the pack was in any type of danger or that the bloodsuckers would band together to build an army to destroy us. We were good. In any battle between good and evil, good prevails. So when Sam suggested that we stay in our wolf form every minute of every day until the threat was neutralized, I had to speak up.

_Sam, that's crazy. I don't want to be like this until who knows when. I'm not failing high school because you're scared that a vampire _might_ come here._

_Jake, _he argued_, it's our duty to protect the people. And we can't do that by sitting in our houses or in a classroom. We need to be out, patrolling the boarders, the forest...everywhere._

_Bullshit! There's only five of us. We can't be everywhere! If a suckhead comes this way, we're going to know either way. That red-head was just lucky. We'll taker her down and anything else that comes our way. But we can't be paranoid about it. If they know that we're scared, I guarantee you, we'll be worse off._

In the end, my argument won...almost. Sam and I worked together to come to a compromise. We would run twenty-four hour patrols but we'd go back to doing it in shifts. If we caught the scent that there were more than one or two vamps in the area, we would alert the others.

I usually took the three to eleven shift. Embry usually came out with me then. It was easier for him to run right after school. Missing curfew was a lot better for him than getting caught sneaking out or missing school all together.

Sam and Jared took the overnight shift, choosing to run while Kim and Emily slept. Paul was on the seven to three shift. Sam and I took turns running with him so we ended up running double shifts so the others wouldn't have to. As a unit, we didn't get much sleep but it was the sacrifice we had to pay in order to protect people.

However, no other vampires came. We ran for days and never picked up another scent, except that of the red-head. She kept coming back.

There weren't any more reports of missing hikers or unexplained deaths in Forks or the surrounding areas. We only assumed that she wasn't hunting. But the reason she kept coming back eluded us. She kept coming and we kept trying to catch her.

Once, Jared and Sam had picked up her trail and chased her back to the Canadian boarder, where she disappeared into the treetops again. Paul and I had almost gotten her too.

We thought we had her trapped against the cliff rocks with nowhere to go, or at least no escape route that we could imagine. But not only is she fast, the vamp has this unnatural talent of finding a hole, a way to escape that we wouldn't fathom. This time she scaled the rocks, narrowly escaping Paul's large paw, and jumped off the highest cliff into the water before either Paul or myself had a chance to attack.

After that we started to add the beaches to our patrol, now that we knew that they could swim. It was harder to patrol the beaches because there were usually people there. We couldn't just race down the beach without causing widespread panic.

We didn't know why the vampire kept coming back. But we wouldn't rest until we took her down...especially since she was pissing us off.

****

After nearly catching the red-headed leech, I was extremely wound up and irritated…and sleepy. Whenever I did get a chance to get some rest, I took it. And slept like a log.

Embry hadn't been running a lot because of his parents so over the weekend he volunteered to take on some of my shifts so I could have a day off. I spent all day Saturday asleep in my room. By the time I woke up, my father had already gone to bed.

I felt refreshed enough to join the rest of the guys. Just as I was about to walk out of the door, I saw Leah and Seth walking across the street. When Seth saw me standing on the porch, he grinned and came bounding across the lawn, stumbling over his - too big for his pint-sized body - feet. Leah smiled behind him.

"Hey Jake!" he yelled. "What's up?"

"What's up Seth," I said uneasily. What were they doing here? I had purposely stayed away from Seth since my transformation. He was like my little brother and the very last person that I'd ever want to physically hurt. When I looked at Leah, I could tell from the look in her eyes that this was all her idea.

"Man, it's been a long time," Seth gushed happily. "Where ya been?"

"I've been around," I answered. "Just busy, that's all." I glared at Leah. "What are you two doing over here?"

He held up a DVD. "Movie night! We bought Knocked Up today and Leah said that we should bring it over here and watch it with you."

"Did she?" I continued to glare at his sister, getting angrier as she shrugged nonchalantly.

"Okay then," I tried to sound excited too. "Get it started. I need to talk to your sister for a sec."

"Alright." Seth walked happily into the house. I grabbed Leah's arm and pulled her down the steps into the yard. She shook me off easily. I knew my own strength so I hadn't been gripping her that hard.

"What is the problem?" she hissed. "It's just a movie."

"Leah, this is crazy! You know I shouldn't be around Seth. He doesn't know our secret…" I stopped talking and lowered my eyes.

"You didn't tell him, did you?"

"No, I didn't tell him. And I don't see what the big deal is. If you can be around me, then you can be around my brother."

Leah hadn't been told everything, nor had she figured everything out. She didn't know that Sam was the reason for Emily's scars. She had no idea how dangerous it was to hang out with werewolves.

And I couldn't tell her...

Telling Leah about Emily or what would happen if I got upset was not a very good idea. She was too strong willed and too quick-tempered to understand. We'd probably end up arguing and nothing good would come of that.

"Leah," I lowered my voice and tried a different approach. "I caught hell from Sam for asking Emily to tell you. Now that you know, I have to be able to trust you to always keep our secret and do the right thing when it comes to us. I need you to not endanger us, yourself, or others."

"You can trust me," she replied softly. "I'm sorry. He just missed hanging out with you. You know how much he likes you, Jake. You're like a big brother to him. I didn't think it would be a problem."

I wrapped my arm around Leah's shoulder. "It's okay…I think. I've missed Movie Night with you guys too."

We walked into the house and I was glad to see that Leah was smiling. I was getting really tired of seeing my friends so upset over me. Quil, Seth, Leah, Bella…well, not really Bella. She had hurt me in a way that was unforgiveable.

But she had become very persistent in trying to get in touch with me. The other day, my dad told me she called every half hour until well after 11:00pm. I was out running my shift with Paul so she wasn't bothering me. I just didn't want her bothering my dad though. He hadn't done anything to be constantly pestered by her.

I know she was probably wondering if I was alive and the right thing to do would be to simply give her a quick ring to tell her that I was okay and that she shouldn't call here anymore but I couldn't. Every time I picked up the phone to call her, I got even angrier with her and I knew that I wouldn't be able to get through a conversation with Bella Swan without phasing and having to run off some of my anger. And then the pack would fully know how pissed off I am at her.

_Stop thinking about her, Jacob!_ I scolded myself. I focused my energy on having a good time with Seth and Leah. The movie was actually very funny and I found myself relaxed and enjoying my company. It had been a while since we'd spent the night getting on my dad's nerves – which we were successful at doing tonight. He yelled for us to 'knock it off' three times before the movie was over.

After it was over, Leah asked Seth to run over to their house and get The Forty-Year Old Virgin since none of us were eager for the night to end. I went into the kitchen to see what I could throw together for a late night snack. While I was in the kitchen the telephone rang. The only extension was in the living room so I yelled for Leah to answer it. It was probably Seth anyway. None of the guys would have called me on the phone if they needed me right away. I was used to listening for the low howl of our Alpha, whenever I was in human form.

I walked into the living room, just in time to overhear Leah's angry side of the telephone conversation.

"I told you, he's not here," she said. "What part of that don't you understand?"

"Who is that?" I whispered.

Leah ignored me. "It's really none of your business, Bella. It's quite possible that Jacob has other friends other than you. I'm sorry you don't feel that way, but that's the way it is." Leah pushed the END call button on the cordless phone and looked up at me.

"What?" she asked innocently. "Was I rude?"

"What was that all about?" I asked. I didn't think that Bella would call again. She had called earlier and my father told her that I was sleeping and that I was going out with friends later, after she insisted that if she didn't speak with me, she was going to drive down here.

My dad was fully aware of my anger towards Bella and he agreed that I was right. However, he did know that if she came down here, she'd probably end up getting hurt. There were too many volatile teenage werewolves that were angry or disgusted (Paul) with her that it just wasn't safe. Not everyone could control their temper like me and Sam.

"She wanted to speak to you. I didn't think that it was a good idea. I know that you're mad at her right now and I wasn't going to have her ruin yet another moment of our time together. We don't get to hang out that much."

I was kind of pleased to know that Leah had my back.

"Well, thank you," I said, handing her the big bowl of chips I was carrying. "But I think I should be the one to talk to Bella from now on. She's not going to listen to anyone besides me, anyway. She's stubborn…like another girl I know."

Leah frowned and elbowed me in my stomach. "What did I tell you about comparing me to Bella Swan?"

I laughed.

When Seth came back with the movie we settled in for part two of movie night. Leah nestled her head in the crook of my arm that was wrapped around her. At one point during the movie Seth looked over at us from his favorite chair and grinned.

"What?" Leah said. "What's with the goofy grin?"

"I just don't see why you two don't go ahead and admit that you're in love. It would make our parents happy. You know dad's been trying to marry you off since you broke things off with Sam."

If looks could kill, Seth would have been history. Leah glared at her brother with so much intensity that for a second, I thought _she_ was going to turn into a werewolf as her body quivered in my arms.

"I cannot believe you said that," she hissed.

"Geez, Leah, calm down. I was just playing. You are so sensitive."

He turned back to the movie. Leah rolled her eyes and stared at the television.

"I don't love you," she muttered, just loud enough for me to hear. "Not like that."

I ruffled her hair and grinned. "Yes, you do. You just won't admit it."

****

"So, do you think you'll come to Quil's birthday party next Saturday?" Leash asked as we walked across the yard to her house. It was late and although I knew that Sam and Jared were out and nothing dangerous would cross onto the rez, I didn't feel quite comfortable letting Seth and Leah walk home alone at night.

"I don't think so," I answered.

Leah stopped walking. She turned to look at me.

"Jake, he's one of your best friends. You can't miss his sixteenth birthday. He didn't miss yours," she reminded me.

Without meaning to – I don't think – Leah had once again confirmed what a crappy friend I've become. But before I could defend myself..._again_, she started talking.

"Look, I know you have the others and you guys have a job to do. But it has to be possible to have some semblance of the life you had before this happened. I mean, Sam does it. Why can't you?"

She had a point but it worked for Sam because he was only around people who knew the secret. He didn't have to go to school with anyone. He didn't struggle to keep the secret.

"It's different with Sam," was all I said.

Leah sighed heavily. "It doesn't have to be this way, Jacob," she said as she trailed her fingers down the front of my shirt. "You said you needed me. Well, I'm here for you. But it works both ways, babe. You need me, but we need you too. Quil, especially. You, him, and Embry have been friends since birth. Don't let this ruin it."

Leah had the hem of my shirt bunched into a ball and when she loosened her grip on it, my t-shirt was wrinkled. She stared at the shirt, then at me, pleading with me to reconsider my position. I pulled her into my chest and wrapped my arms around her waist.

"I'll come," I promised. "Me and Embry both will be there."

I didn't know if Sam would agree to it or how Embry would react to my making the promise that we'd show up to a party full of our high school friends. But Quil was our friend and it wouldn't be fair if we weren't there to celebrate his big day with him.

Besides, I made a promise to Leah and I keep my promises...all of them.

****

"So, what time are we going to Quil's?" Paul asked the following Saturday morning. Me, him, Jared, and Embry were on our way to Emily's. I looked at Paul, confused by his question.

"We?" I asked.

"I didn't stutter," was his answer.

"You're not going. Me and Embry are going to head over there around eight-thirty."

"Um, Jake, don't you remember what Sam said?" Jared asked. "We're all going."

"What?"

"It's his sixteenth birthday," Embry said. "It's time. Besides, have you seen Quil lately? He's huge! Sam thinks that it's possible that he might phase tonight. We have to be there."

"How did you miss that?" Paul asked. "Sam just said it a couple of days ago. Or were you still thinking about Chief Swan's vampire loving daughter? Come on man, snap out of it."

As much as I tried, I couldn't stop thinking about Bella. Of course I was angry with her, but seeing the look of terror on her face while she was in that meadow nearly killed me every time I thought about it. We were doing our best to keep her and everyone else safe, but Bella had a way of getting herself into sticky situations. I was worried about her.

And I didn't want to be. I wanted to be angry. I wanted to forget about her and her betrayal. I wanted to forget about our night at the movies. But most of all I wanted to forget about the fun we had together and how much I missed her.

Of course I tried to keep as many of my thoughts of Bella to myself while we were wolves. It was bad enough that the pack knew about Leah and how torn I was between her and Bella. Apparently I hadn't been doing a very good job.

All of a sudden, I didn't feel like going over Emily's. As we spent more time together, it was easier to spend time away from the pack. Every once in awhile, I needed to be away from them. I love my sisters like I love the pack but still, I'm glad they don't live with me.

"I think I'll go home," I announced when we reached the turnoff that led to my house. "I'll see you guys at the party."

I broke off into a medium paced jog before they could object. I did hear Paul mention that I only wanted to go home to call Bella. I wasn't going to do that.

When I walked into the house, my dad looked up from his book, surprised to see me. He didn't expect to see me at all before nightfall anymore.

"What's up son? You're home early?"

"The guys are headed to Emily's and I didn't feel like going. I'm just going to hang out here until Quil's party."

"Did something happen?" Billy asked me.

"No. Everything's cool. Sometimes, I just want to be at my own house. Don't act like you don't miss me," I joked.

"Hadn't even noticed you were gone," Billy teased back but then he got serious.

"Bella called again. She's getting anxious, son. You're going to have to talk to her soon."

"I know," I nodded. "What did she say this time?"

"Same thing she always says, for you to call her when you get in."

I hadn't expected a different message. Bella was a creature of routine. She'd keep calling, leaving the same message every day until I called her back. She knew by now that I didn't have mono, which is what my dad had told Charlie when I first got sick, in attempt to keep Bella away from the reservation. It had worked for a minute. But now she knew that I was okay, and she was probably pissed. Well, so was I.

"Jake, your friends are calling you," my dad said.

"Huh?"

"Your friends..." my dad looked towards the front yard. He was right. Embry, Paul, and Jared were walking down the street. Sam was behind them. What was Sam doing down here? I hadn't done anything to deserve a visit from him.

I ran out of the house and met them in the road.

"What's up?" I looked at Sam. "Did you see something?"

"We saw something alright," Paul sneered. "Your little girlfriend."

"What?" What or better yet, who, was he talking about?

"Bella, Jake. We just saw her dropping Quil off by his house," Embry explained.

"What are you talking about?" I asked. "Why would Bella be dropping Quil off at his house?"

"Here she comes," Sam said. Her truck hadn't quite come into view yet but we all heard the loud familiar rumble of her truck. We ducked into the forest just in time for the battered red truck to come barreling down the hill and turn into my drive.

She stopped the car in front of the house, killed the motor, and rolled down the windows. We all knew what she was doing...waiting for me to come home.

"Aww man," I groaned. "What am I supposed to do with her?"

"Better go talk to her," Sam said.

"No," I shook my head. "I'm not ready for that."

"How are you going to get back to your house then?" Jared asked. "It doesn't look like she's going anywhere any time soon."

"Go, Jake," Sam ordered. "We'll be right behind you in case you need us. You won't hurt her."

I felt a burning in the pit of my stomach as I walked towards my house, towards Bella. As usual her timing was impeccable. Why couldn't she just listen to me and my dad? I told her that I would tell her when she could come up here. Every step I took that brought me closer to her truck made me angrier. Why did she have to be so damn difficult all of the time? Shit! She was worse than Leah!

Bella was doodling on a scrap piece of paper, her legs propped up on the dashboard, and a smug expression on her face when I tapped on the door to get her attention.

"What are you doing here, Bella?"

She stared at me. I glared back. Bella did not look good. She looked like she reverted back to what she'd been like months ago, before we got the bikes. Her hair was dull, her face paler than I've ever seen it. She had dark circles under her eyes like she hadn't been sleeping. For a brief moment I felt horrible. She was a wreck because of me. The only thing about her that hadn't lost its luster was her eyes. They were on fire.

"Jacob?" she whispered. She may have been angry but my appearance was enough to calm that anger momentarily.

Of course I looked different to Bella. Hell, I looked different to myself. Taller, more muscular than I'd ever been, plus with my new haircut, I barely recognized myself.

I stared at her, waiting for her to say something else. She didn't. Instead she looked behind me and the expression on her face changed when she saw Sam, Jared, Embry, and Paul standing a few feet behind me. She looked like she wanted to yell at them or better yet, take a swing at them. Then it hit me...Bella was here because she knew that there was something going on with Sam. She had come here to see if he'd gotten to me. Of course she would think that!

It pissed me off.

"What do you want?" I demanded, disgusted as I watched the hatred for Sam and the rest of the pack cross her face. She had a lot of nerve.

"I want to talk to you," she answered.

"Talk then," I said through my teeth. I could feel the slow burn starting at my feet and knew that I needed to calm myself. But the way she was looking at my brothers, like this was their fault, was pissing me off.

"Alone!" she hissed.

_Alone?_ I looked over my shoulder at my pack. All eyes were on Sam but I could tell that they didn't want to leave me alone in this situation. My brothers had my back.

Sam was the only one who was absolutely calm. He nodded his head once.

"It's okay, Jake," he said in a voice so low and fast that only we could discern what he was saying. "We'll be in the house."

He started to walk towards my house and the others fell in line behind him. I felt vulnerable without the strength of the pack behind me and I was determined to do one thing...get Bella out of here without hurting her.

"Okay," I said when the front door shut behind Embry. Bella was staring at them too. I felt kind of bad for her. It must be hard having people hate you and you have no idea why.

"What do you want?" I asked again.

"You know what I want to know," she said.

I didn't answer. I knew exactly what she wanted me to say, but I'm not the one who invaded her privacy. If she wanted to know something, she should just come out and ask it.

We stared at each other and the silence stretched on. She looked like she was about to cry. At one time, that look would have turned me to mush. But now all it did was irritate me more.

"Can we walk?" she asked.

I didn't respond in any way. I remained standing in front of her truck, waiting for her to get to it.

Bella got out of the car and started walking towards the trees. I glanced back at the house where all four guys were staring at me. Sam motioned for me to follow her so I did.

In a few strides, I had passed her and stopped walking when we reached the fringe of trees by my house. This was far enough. The others would still be able to see me and come running if I needed help.

"Let's get this over with," I said.

Bella stood in front of me with her arms crossed defiantly across her chest. She waited for me to explain.

"What do you want to know?" I asked.

She glanced back towards the house...towards Sam.

"It's not what you think," I said wearily. I was tired of defending Sam, to Leah, to Seth, to Quil, and now Bella. "It's not what I thought. I was way off."

"So what is it then?"

I studied her face. It was hard but underneath the anger there was something else...worry. Bella was more worried about me than anything.

"I can't tell you.

Her jaw tightened. "I thought we were friends," she said through her clenched teeth.

"We _were_."

"But you don't need friends anymore, do you?" she accused sourly. "You have Sam now. Isn't that nice? You've always looked up to him so much."

Bella didn't know enough to be sarcastic. Her sarcasm was unnecessary. How could she dislike my friends, considering who _her_ friends were?

"You don't know what you're talking about," I fired back. "I was wrong before-"

"And now you've seen the light. Hallelujah!"

"Bella," I warned. "Don't."

"Don't what?"

"Don't do that. This isn't Sam's fault. He's helping me as much as he can."

I was furious because I knew that I'm the reason she was blaming Sam. But I was naïve then and I hadn't known. Now that I knew, if it wasn't for Sam, I probably would be dead by now. But the fact of the matter was that I couldn't tell her that.

"He's helping you...naturally," Bella stated dubiously.

I wasn't listening. The more she blamed Sam the angrier I was getting, not only at her but at the fact that I couldn't tell her what was really going on. Damn the stupid gag order! My hands started to shake and I felt my heartbeat increase. I took a few steps back, away from Bella, and started to take slow deliberate breaths, trying to calm myself. I heard the front door of my house open and the guys step out onto the front porch.

"Jacob, please," Bella whispered. "Just tell me what happened. Maybe I can help."

"No, you can't," I answered.

"What did he do to you?" Bella demanded as she stepped closer to me. She reached out to me, stepping forward for me to take her into my arms.

I stepped back and held up my hands. "Don't touch me."

"Oh, is Sam contagious?" she mumbled. She wiped her eyes and folded her arms across her chest.

"Stop blaming Sam." The words came out fast, like a reflex.

"Then who should I be blaming then?"

My mouth twisted into a half smile. She was mad now but there was one thing I knew about Bella, she wasn't tough. If I told her the real culprit behind what happened, the façade she was putting up would crumble and she'd break like a porcelain doll.

"You don't want to hear that," I told her.

"The hell I don't!" she snapped. "I want to know, and I want to know now!"

"You're wrong, Bella," I snapped back. "You really don't want to know that."

"Don't you dare tell me I'm wrong," she yelled. Her face was flushed and she was on the verge of tears again.

"I'm not the one who got brainwashed!" she continued to yell at me, ignoring the fact that the expression on my face was telling her to back up and calm down. She was out of her mind. Any sane person would have sensed the danger in the air and backed up.

"Tell me, right now, whose fault this is, if it's not your precious Sam!"

That did it.

"You asked for it," I growled. "If you want to blame someone, why don't you point your finger at those filthy, reeking bloodsuckers that you love so much?"

Bella's mouth fell open and her breath came out with a whooshing sound. She had asked for it. Any normal person wouldn't have kept pushing. But not Bella. And now she was floored with the realization that I knew all about the secret that she had chosen to keep from me.

"I told you that you didn't want to hear it," I said.

"I don't understand who you mean," she whispered.

I stared at her in disbelief. Was she really going to stand there, look me in my face and lie?

"You understand exactly who I mean," I said. "Don't make me say it Bella. You know I don't like seeing you hurt."

She repeated her previous lie and I felt my heart ice over. She had looked me dead in my eyes, her so called friend, and lied to me...twice.

"The Cullens," I said slowly and watched her face grow even paler and her eyes flash with the pain of hearing their name out loud.

"See," I said. "I'm not an idiot, Bella. I can see what it does to you when I say their name."

She shook her head back and forth. I couldn't take much more of her denial and her lies. The hurt that I was feeling was unexplainable.

"Don't tell me you're listening to Billy's superstitions nonsense now?" she finally said.

"Excuse me?" I replied, offended by the insult. "My dad isn't superstitious. He knows more than I've ever given him credit for."

"Well," she stammered. "I still don't see what you're accusing the Cullens" - she winced saying the name – "of. They left more than six months ago. How can you blame them for what Sam is doing now?"

"I already told you," I barked. "Sam isn't doing anything. And who gives a shit if they're gone now? Sometimes...sometimes, things are set in motion and it's too late to do anything about it."

"What's set in motion?" she quizzed anxiously. "What's too late? What are you blaming them for?"

"For existing," I hissed angrily.

The memories of the past few months flooded my mind, the anguish I felt at seeing the change in Embry and not being able to do anything about it...the despair I felt when I changed, the fact that this change was going to happen to my other friend and there was no stopping it. Images of the dead camper we found and the other two that are still missing added to my distress and my body began to quiver with anger. I stepped away from Bella and began to take deeper breaths.

"You're being ridiculous," I heard Bella say.

"Fine," I answered angrily. "I won't argue about it with you. It doesn't matter now, anyway. The damage is done."

"What damage?" Bella yelled.

I was done. A few more minutes with her and I knew that the guys would come rushing off the porch and drag me into the forest so I could phase without hurting her. I had so much more I wanted to say but my body just wouldn't let me. She had to leave...she had to leave now.

"Let's go back," I said, walking past her towards the house. "There's nothing more to say."

"There's everything more to say!" she yelled at my back. "Jacob! You haven't said anything yet!"

I kept walking.

"I have to get back," I mumbled.

"Back to Sam?" she yelled as she struggled to keep up with my long strides.

"That's one way of looking at it," I muttered and walked past her truck towards my house.

"Wait, Jake!" she yelled. The pleading tone in her voice made me stop. I turned around.

"Go home, Bella. I can't hang out with you anymore."

Tears welled up in Bella's chocolate eyes. In an instant, my hands stopped shaking and I wanted to say something less hurtful to comfort her but there was nothing to say. I could not hang out with her anymore. I didn't even want to.

"Are you breaking up with me?" she cried.

Her choice of words was comical. Breaking up with her? She didn't even want me. She'd told me so and that's how she chose to refer to our friendship or lack of...my laugh came out extremely bitter.

"If that was the case, I'd say 'Let's be friends.' I can't even say that."

"Jacob...why?" she pleaded. "Sam won't let you have other friends? Please, Jake. You promised. I need you."

Bella looked so lost as she said the words that I didn't need to hear. I know she needed me. But I couldn't be there for her. She would have to get through whatever she was going through without me. I couldn't risk being around her. I had promised her that I would never hurt her and that she wouldn't have to be afraid when she was with me. I planned on keeping that promise.

"I'm sorry Bella."

"I'm sorry that I couldn't...before," she whispered. I stared at her. I had no idea what she was talking about. Couldn't what?

"I wish how I could change how I feel about you, Jacob," she continued to whisper in a desperate voice. "Maybe...maybe I would change. Maybe, if you gave me some time...just don't quit on me now, Jake. I can't take it."

Was that really what she thought? That I didn't want to be around her because she didn't want to be my girlfriend? That was ridiculous. Hadn't she heard a word I said to her? Did what I say not even matter to her?

"This isn't about you," I assured her. "This is all me."

"It's not you, it's me," she whispered. "There's a new one."

"Bella, I'm not..." I struggled to come up with a believable explanation. "Bella, I'm not the same person I was before. I can't be the same friend that I was before."

"What?" she stared at me, confused. "What are you saying, Jacob? You're my friend. Jake, don't do this."

I backed away from her outstretched hand, her pleading eyes. She probably would never understand and for a moment, I felt like scum.

"I'm sorry, Bella." I turned away from her and ran past the pack, standing on the porch, into the house. I went straight to my room and slammed the door.

A few seconds later, Sam opened the door. He and the others surrounded my bed where I was lying with my arms folded behind my head.

"Jacob, it's going to be alright," Sam started but I interrupted him.

"Yeah, you keep telling yourself that," I mumbled. "What are you guys still doing here anyway?"

"We're here for you," Sam stated. "I know this was hard for you but..."

"But what?" I snapped. "How many of your friends have you had to cut out of your life? How many people did you make cry because of this damn curse?"

I sat up on the bed. "You know what, don't even answer that. Just leave. All of you, leave. I'll catch up with you tonight at the party."

"Jake," Sam said.

"Get out!" I yelled. "Damn man, I'm not going to do anything stupid. But can I just be alone for a few hours? Without four dudes huddled in my room like it's a fucking campfire? Just leave!"

Paul and Jared backed out of the room, snickering about how I must have got my period. I was tempted to pick up a trophy and hit them with it but it wouldn't even be that bad. A cracked skull wouldn't kill them. It would be healed before they got to Emily's.

Sam stared at me for a few more seconds. I glared back until he and Embry left the room too. I stared out of the window as the clouds darkened and the rain started to drizzle then quickly picked up. I stared outside as the wind howled, hoping that Bella had enough sense not to drive recklessly on the wet winding roads leading to Forks.

"Dad," I called out. "Call Charlie and let him know that Bella is on her way...just in case!"

Better safe than sorry.


	23. Chapter 23

**23- No More Lies**

Hours passed and I couldn't get Bella or her reaction out my head.

Or her rain soaked face, waiting for me to come back outside.

I'd done the one thing that I hadn't wanted to do, that I had promised I'd never do. I'd hurt Bella in away that I don't know can be fixed.

I have to try.

But how? There's a vampire on the loose. I can't leave the reservation or the pack. They need me.

"_Bella needs you too, Jake_" the irritating voice in my head kept repeating.

Knowing Bella, an apology isn't going to be enough. She wants answers...answers that I cannot and will not give her.

I laid in my bed, staring at the overcast sky, trying to figure out how to make this right when I heard the telephone ring. It could only be Sam or one of the guys calling this late. I picked up the extension in my room as the same time my father picked up the phone in the living room. As soon as I heard Charlie's angry voice, I knew better than to say anything. Let Billy deal with his friend. But I didn't hang up.

"Billy, what's going on up there? Bella came back really upset. She said something along the lines of Sam not letting Jake be her friend anymore."

Billy let out a deep sigh. Leave it to Bella to be so melodramatic.

"That's not what happened at all," Billy told Charlie. "Maybe Jacob just changed his mind about their friendship."

"I'm not buying that," Charlie insisted. "First, it doesn't make any sense. Second, Bella's had some suspicions about Sam-"

"Bella's suspicions are unwarranted," my dad interrupted. "I've seen Bella with Jake. She's been giving him all kinds of mixed messages. My son really likes her. Maybe he just got tired of being strung along."

My eyes widened. I didn't know that Billy had picked up on my feelings so quickly and so accurately.

"Don't you put this on Bella!" Charlie yelled into the phone. "Bella's made it very clear all along that she and Jacob are just friends..."

"Charlie, Jake's just going through some things right now. He's a teenager," Billy chuckled. "He's been with his friends a lot. He just needs to be around some guys right now."

"Well," Charlie sighed. "If that was it, then why didn't you that first? But I kind of agree with Bella. I've seen Sam and the guys hanging around. He's a huge influence on them. Bella though Jake was afraid of Sam and I think she might be right about him."

Billy's voice grew angrier.

"What's going on with Bella and Jacob has nothing to do with Sam and the guys! You didn't think anything was wrong a few months ago. Why change your mind now?"

I laughed silently. Billy was mad!

"Because I know my daughter and if she says Jacob was scared before-"

"My son has never been afraid of Sam Uley!"

That was a lie. But Billy would never admit how terrified I'd been to Charlie or anyone else.

"And you don't know your daughter as well as you think!"

I sat the phone down on the bed. I didn't want to hear anymore. Charlie and my dad can get into some really brutal arguments...even though this one is pretty unnecessary. Bella had no right getting our parents involved in this situation.

Why does she always insist on making things worse than they need to be?

I went out the back door, planning to go to my sanctuary, the garage, for a chance to clear my mind but a howl in the darkness stopped me in my tracks.

Sam was calling.

Quickly I pulled of my shorts and kicked off my shoes as I raced into the woods. The phase happened quicker than I expected. I raced towards the clearing where usually meet. I was the first one there. In the darkness I could barely seen Sam. But his eyes shone in the moonlight.

_What's up? Is the vamp back?_

_Yes. _ That was all he said until the others arrived. We stood in a line, staring at him as he paced back and forth.

_What's bugging Sam_? Embry directed his question to me.

_I don't know. The vamp is back though._

_She's been back_, Paul inserted his two cents into our conversation. _She's just really good at getting away from us._

_Quiet!_ Sam barked. We all snapped to attention.

_I've been very lenient with you all regarding keeping this secret. But with Leah and Kim knowing now, and Bella showing up unannounced, this concerns me. It's not safe for them. You all are aware of what could happen._

_That was all Jake's doing_, Paul argued. _None of us have said anything to anyone!_

_And that's how it needs to remain_, Sam said. _Let me reiterate. No one else is to be informed of our secret. No one. You are not to put anyone in danger. That is an order._

It sounded like one too. The weight of the Alpha's command felt like a ton of bricks.

_On my way out here, I picked up a fresh scent, _Sam continued. _ She's all over the place. We need to split up and look for her. Jared, me and you will head north. Jacob, you take Embry and Paul and head west. If you see her, try to push her in our direction. Let's go._

The pack took off running. I trailed behind Embry and Paul, thinking about what Sam had said. I hadn't actually told anyone the secret either. Leah had learned it from Emily. I knew it was dangerous but I had to give Leah some answers somehow. She would have hated me forever if I hadn't.

Bella is different. She's not one of us. She's an outsider. It would seem like it would be dangerous for me to be around her. But she's my friend too. I can't lose her like I couldn't lose Leah.

I stopped in my tracks. If Leah could figure it out so could Bella. She has to. I can't have her hating me too.

Bella is my friend. I'd never hurt her. I can control myself. I didn't hurt my father. I have to go to her. I don't care about Sam's order.

_Jake, catch up!_ Embry yelled.

As hard as it was, I ignored the call of my brother and turned towards Forks. This would be the only time I'd be able to get away from the pack. I started to phase back into human form. I couldn't let Sam know what I was thinking. He'd order me to stay away from Forks and I wouldn't be able to disobey his order.

I ran, in my human body, back to the spot by my house where I'd hidden my clothes. It would have been quicker to run to Forks as a wolf but the risk was too great. I drove.

Fifteen minutes later I pulled onto Bella's dark street and parked my car two houses down from hers. I don't know what I didn't want to be seen. It was late. The street was silent. No one was awake to see me. Even Bella's bedroom was dark.

I'd come this far. I had to make a move. I have to make this right.

I sprinted across the yard and quickly climbed to the top of the spruce tree in Bella's yard. The tree bent and cracked under my weight. For a moment I was afraid it would break and I'd go falling twenty feet to the ground. I'd probably break my leg which would heal in a few days. The worst thing would be waking up Charlie.

The thin branches scraped against Bella's window, sounding like nails on a chalkboard. I grimaced as I tried to swing my legs to adjust myself and keep from falling and get a grip on the windowsill.

I saw a shadow shuffle clumsily to the window. I tried to get closer.

_Bella._

She started out of the window the staggered back with a terrified expression on her face.

_Shit. I hadn't meant to scare her._

"Bella!" I know she saw me. I hit my leg on a branch and the sharp twig swung against my bare chest drawing blood.

"Ouch! Damnit, Bella. Open the window!"

I watched as she shook her head, the terrified expression left her face when she recognized my voice. She threw open the window.

_Finally._

"What are you doing?" Bella gasped.

I shifted again, trying to keep my balance in the fragile tree while trying to think of the right answer.

_What the hell was I doing?_

"I'm trying to keep my promise," I decided.

Bella blinked rapidly, like she was trying to wake up from a bad dream.

"When did you ever promise to kill yourself falling out of Charlie's tree?"

She's making jokes while I'm dangling from a tiny tree?

I am not amused.

"Get out of the way," I ordered.

"What?" She didn't move, even as I swung my legs back and forth, preparing to hurl myself through the window.

"No, Jake!" Bella yelled but moved out of the way.

I swung my legs and let go of the tree at the same time. Swiftly I landed right on the balls of my feet in Bella's room.

I looked at her closed bedroom door, waiting for Charlie to burst through it to see what the hell I was doing in his daughter's room.

The silence was deafening until heard the most reassuring sound in the world...Charlie's muffled snore. I grinned.

But Bella was not smiling. She wasn't terrified anymore but she was definitely not as happy to see me as I was to see her.

"Get out!" she hissed. "Get out now!"

"No," I protested. "I came to apologize."

Bella glared at me angrily. "I do not accept!"

She tried to push me away fro her. She put so much strength into the shove; it kind of made me believe that she was trying to push me out of the window.

It was a useless effort. Bella isn't strong enough to move me now. She quickly dropped her hands from my chest, like she'd touched hot coals.

_My chest was hot_.

I'm always hot now. Sam said we run a temperature that's about ten degrees higher than normal.

_Sam!_

I wonder what he's thinking about my disappearance. He's going to be mad, I'm sure of that. I don't think any of them are going to wonder if the vampire got me. They know me better than that.

My thought was interrupted by a swaying blur in my peripheral. I looked at Bella. Her eyes were barely open and she was swaying from side to side, like she was about to collapse from exhaustion.

It was really late.

"Bella," I whispered. I caught her elbow and ushered her to her bed.

This is nuts! How am I going to talk to her if can't even stay awake?

"Hey? Are you okay?"

Her cheeks wee wet when she looked up at me angrily. Had she been crying because of me?

"Why in the world would I be okay, Jacob?"

Yup. She'd been crying over me. Plus she called me Jacob. I felt even worse. I never wanted _any_ of this.

"Right," I said slowly and took a deep breath. "Crap. Well...I – I'm so sorry, Bella." I hate this, having to apologize is not on one of my strong points. And this isn't entirely my fault either. She kept a horrible secret from me too. She's in love with a vampire! I have every right to be angry.

But I do not have the right to hurt her.

"Why did you come here?" Bella asked me. "I don't want _apologies_ from you, Jake."

"I know," I said. I knew that when I decided to come her. She wants answers...answers that I can't directly give her.

"But I couldn't leave things the way I did this afternoon," I told her. "That wasn't like me. That was horrible and I'm not that guy. I'm sorry," I repeated.

Bella shook her head and closed her eyes.

"I don't understand what's going on."

"I know," I acknowledged. "I want to explain-" my voice broke, like my throat had closed. My mouth would not speak the words that my brain was thinking.

_Damn Sam and his gag order!_

I took a deep breath and tried again. It didn't work.

"I can't. I can't do it. I wish I could."

Bella's voice was muffled as she lowered her face in her hands.

"Why?"

I tried to say something...anything...that would help her understand. I couldn't. Nothing would come out.

"I can't do it," I muttered in frustration. For the first time since the change, I actually wished, for just a second, that I hadn't given up my right as Alpha.

"Do what?" Bella asked, oblivious to my struggle.

"Bella, haven't you ever had a secret that you couldn't tell anyone?"

I stared into her sleepy dark eyes, daring her to say now.

_Please don't lie to me_, I pleaded in my head. I can't take any more lies from her.

The expression on her face was guilty. Of course she had secrets. But would she confess them to me?

"Something you felt like you had to keep from Charlie, from your mom," I pressed, opening the door for her to spill the beans. All she has to do is walk through it. "Something you won't even talk to me about? Not even now?"

Bella's eyes tightened but she wouldn't answer me. She didn't say a word to acknowledge that I know. I felt like I was watching an episode of Friends with Leah.

They don't know that we know that they know that we know they know we know.

I tried again. Maybe if I open up a little more, she might come clean.

"Can you understand that I might have the same kid of..." I paused, struggling against the feel of my throat tightening again, under the order of the Alpha.

Finally the right word came to mind.

"Situation. Sometimes loyalty gets in the way of what you want to do."

I looked at Bella briefly. There was acknowledgement and understanding in her eyes. But it wasn't for me. She wasn't accepting the fact that I have a secret. She thinks I'm accepting the fact that she won't tell me hers.

That's not it at all!

"Sometimes," I continued, "sometimes, it's not your secret to tell."

Come on Bella!

She glanced up at me then quickly back down to the floor, unable to meet my eyes. Or not willing to.

"I don't know why you came here, Jacob," she finally spoke. Her voice was angry. "Why'd you come here if all you're going to do is give me riddles instead of answers?"

I grimaced. That's all she wants. Answers. Answers that I can not give her. Answers that will not give me.

"I'm sorry," I replied. "This is so frustrating."

Frustrating does not even begin to describe what I feel about this situation. Bella knows! She knows about the Cullens and won't admit it. She knows about the treaty. She's got to if she knows anything about them. The look on her face confirmed that she knows much more than she's willing to share. She probably knows everything.

_She knows everything!_

My mind skipped back to our first walk on the beach, before she became a lover of the undead...before when all she wanted was to hear a scary story.

_She already knows._

I stared at her. She was angry at me for keeping a secret from her. She's angry at me because I yelled at her this afternoon. She wants to know why. But she knows why! And she should know that this is not my fault.

I ran my fingers through my now short hair.

"What's wrong with you?" she asked shortly.

"This is driving me crazy," I answered. "You want answers but you already know." I couldn't keep my irritation from seeping out. "I already told you everything."

"What are you talking about?" Bella sighed.

All of a sudden, a rush of knowledge overcame me.

_I can do this. I can make her remember._

That wouldn't be disobeying Sam.

"I think I see a way to make this work out," my words gushed out too fast...to eager.

"Because you know this, Bella. I can't actually tell you, but if you guessed...no, if you_ remember_, then I'll be off the hook."

Bella stared at me confused.

"You want me to guess? Guess what?"

"My secret," I told her. And once she did, she'd have to confess hers.

"You can do it – you know the answer!"

She blinked twice. I guess I wasn't making sense to her.

I took a deep breath. It was like certain words that I was thinking were being erased out of my vocabulary.

"Hold on," I told her. "Let me try something. I might be able to help you remember."

I closed my eyes, straining against the tightening of my chest and throat.

"Help?" she asked weakly.

"Yes...like clues," I said but how much help could I really be? I could barely breathe.

"Listen, Bella," I whispered. I crouched down and placed her face between my hands.

"Remember the first day we met...on the beach in La Push?"

"Of course I do."

"Tell me about it," I coaxed.

Bella sighed deeply. "You asked about my truck," she began. "We talked about the Rabbit..."

"Keep going."

"We went for a walk on the beach..." she paused like she was trying to remember every little detail. Her cheeks grew warmer under my hands.

"Then what?" I whispered anxiously.

_Please remember._

"You told me scary stories," she whispered. "Quileute legends...about vampires."

"Yes! Do you remember what I said?"

She remembered. I could tell by the look on her face.

_Thank God!_

"Yes, I remember," she finally answered.

"Do you remember all of the stor-" my voice broke as the word was ripped out of my head.

"All the stories?" Bella finished.

I nodded. It was the only way I could confirm what I was thinking. But when Bella started to shake her head, I knew that she didn't remember everything I had told her that day. Only one thing would stick in her mind about that day, I bet.

I groaned and stood up. As frustrating as it was that I couldn't just say what she wanted to know...what I need her to know, it's even more frustrating that she already knows but refuses to remember.

"You know this, you know this," I repeated.

"Jake," she pleaded. "Jake, please. I'm exhausted. I'm no good at this. Maybe in the morning."

That wasn't it. She didn't want to remember..._him_.

"Yeah," I nodded in defeat. "Maybe it will come back to you. I guess I understand why you only remember that one story." I didn't even attempt to mask my disgust.

I sat on the bed and looked at Bella. It was hard to believe that my friend could do this to me. That she could love a vampire and make him her entire life. I could even smell the faint sickly sweet scent of it that still lingered in her room after all of this time.

"Do you mind if I ask you a question about that? I've been dying to know."

"A question about what?" Bella asked wearily.

"About the vampire story I told you."

She looked at me. Her sleepy eyes were guarded. I don't care. I have to know what the hell she's thinking.

"Did you honestly not know?" I asked. "Was I the one who told you what he was?"

This has been eating at me for awhile. If Bella hadn't known then I'd broken the treaty. If the vampires do come back and attacked the reservation, it would be my fault.

Bella didn't answer. Instead a wave of anger washed over her face as she stared me with her teeth clenched and jaw tight. She would not answer. She was holding onto their secret like my feelings don't even matter to her.

_Maybe they don't._

"See what I mean about loyalty?" I said, mainly to myself. She probably wasn't listening anyway.

"It's the same for me, only worse. You can't imagine how tight I'm bound..." I stopped talking.

This isn't about Bella anymore. A tortured feeling of betrayal came over me. My pack.

I am bound to them and our secret for life. By being here with this girl who was being fiercely loyal to a clan of disgusting vampires, I am betraying my brothers.

But she's my friend.

For some reason or another, I am connected to Bella to. I have to protect her.

_This thing is going to tear me apart._

I felt Bella's hand on the back of my head, fingering my hair. I closed my eyes and sighed.

"Is there any way for you to get free?" she whispered, all of a sudden caring about me again.

"No. I'm in this for life," I answered as I clenched my hands into fists to stop them from trembling.

"No, Jake," she moaned in obvious anguish. "What if we ran away? Just you and me. What if we left home and left Sam behind?"

Sam? What?

"It's not something I can just run away from, Bella," I told her. "I would run away with you, though, if I could."

I would too, if running away with her was the answer...if I could be assured that it would help cure her of this thing she has for the vampire and that the pack and Charlie wouldn't come looking for us.

_But there's absolutely zero chance of that happening._

"Look, I have to leave," I told Bella.

"Why?"

"For one thing, you look like you're going to pass out at any second. You need your sleep."

_And I have to get back to the guys._

"I need you firing on all pistons. You're going to figure this out. You have to," I added.

"And why else?" Bella asked angrily, looking down at my trembling fists.

I couldn't tell her that there are four giant wolves in the woods right by her house, waiting for me. I heard and felt their presence.

"I snuck away," I admitted. "I'm not supposed to be here."

In the wind, I heard Sam's ferocious growl. They were waiting...impatiently.

"I suppose I should let them know..."

"You don't have to tell them anything," Bella snapped.

I shook my head. She doesn't understand yet.

"All the same...I will."

"I _hate_ them!"

I glanced at her, surprised by the force of her anger. Bella has never hated anything or anyone in her life.

"Don't hate the guys," I said. "This isn't Sam's fault or any of the other's faults. I told you before...it's me."

I paused. "Sam is actually...well, Sam's cool," I admitted. Secretly I hoped that he could hear me. Maybe if I play nice he won't be so upset when I come back outside.

_Yeah right._

"Jared and Paul are great too," I continued. "Paul's kind of a hothead. And Embry's always been my friend. Nothing's changed there," I explained. "It's the only thing that hasn't changed."

My explanation did nothing to stifle Bella's anger.

"Then why can't aren't you supposed to see me?" she demanded.

There are a multitude of reasons. I settled on the easiest one.

"It's not safe."

For a second Bella looked like she finally understood. Maybe she had figured it out.

"If I thought it was too risky," I said quickly, "I wouldn't have come." My words came out hurried. I could hear the pack growing antsy.

"But Bella, I made you a promise. I didn't know that it would be so hard to keep it but I have to try."

Bella stared at me in confusion. She didn't remember my promise?

Instantly, I felt insignificant, like just another faceless person in Bella's world. A world where the only thing that ever mattered to her was her undead smelly vampire. Do I not mean anything to her?

"After that movie..." I reminded her, only to rid her face of the confusion that was killing me. "I promised you that I would never hurt you. And I blew it this afternoon."

"I know you didn't mean it," she answered nonchalantly. "It's okay."

What just happened? One minute she wants to run away with me...the next, she can't even remember words that I said, a promise that I made that meant a lot to me.

"Thank you, Bella," I said. I was grateful that she said something, even if she was only trying to make me feel better. That's what friends do. And she's my friend.

_I think._

"It would really help if you could figure this out, Bella," I said. "Put some effort into it."

She grimaced. "I'll try."

"And I'll try to see you soon." I looked out the window. I couldn't see the pack but they were there. I could feel them.

"And they'll try to talk me out of it," I added.

"Don't listen to them then," Bella suggested.

"I'll try." I chuckled. It wouldn't be possible, especially after this visit.

"Come and tell me as soon as you figure it out," I said then stopped.

If Bella figures out that I'm a werewolf then she'll know that my job is to protect the tribe from the one thing she loves most. When she figures this out, will she even want to see me?

My hands started to tremble as this upsetting realization hit me. This is why Sam didn't want me around her. He knew. He knew that I'd get upset. It isn't because of the secret. He doesn't want me to do to Bella what he did to Emily.

My heartbeat quickened and I couldn't slow it down. The fiery heat was growing more intense. It was time to leave.

"Come if you want to," I added but my voice was hoarse.

"Why wouldn't I want to see you?" Bella questioned.

"I can think of a reason. Look, I have to go," I stressed. I couldn't stop the phase even though I was trying. I have to get out of her room...quickly. But I had to say something.

"Call me, at least, if you don't want to see me again," I said. "Let me know if that's how it's going to be."

"That won't happen-"

"Just let me know," I said sharply and headed towards the window as fast as I could.

"Don't be an idiot, Jake. Use the door. Charlie's not going to catch you."

I looked out the window. Even if I fell, I'd still be fine.

"I won't get hurt." But the anxiousness in Bella's eyes stopped me from hopping out of the window. I turned to the door instead.

The heat was still there...still painful. I was going to phase soon, there was no stopping it, still...

I hesitated.

I didn't want to leave. This could possibly be the last time that I'd see her again.

I reached for her and pulled her into my too warm chest. I wrapped my arms around her tightly, never wanting to let my friend go, but knowing that one way or another, I'd have to.

"Can't breathe...Jake!" Bella gasped. I had forgotten how small she is. I let her go and eased her onto the bed.

"Get some sleep, Bells. You've got to get your head working," I said. "I can't...I can't lose you, Bella. Not over this."

I walked to the door and bounded silently down the steps. As soon as I was out the door and away from the house, I kicked off my shorts and shoes. The phase happened quickly.

I entered the woods slowly. Four sets of large animal eyes were staring at me as I approached Sam slowly. His low guttural growl set me back on my hunches.

_What did you do?_

_ Nothing._

_ Bullshit! _Sam snapped. _What are you doing here this late? Just hanging out?_

_I came to apologize okay?_ I admitted. _You may not give a shit about Bella but I do. I didn't tell her anything! I couldn't even if I wanted to. Your order, remember?_

_You abandoned your pack, snuck away in the middle of a vampire hunt to apologize? I don't believe you, Jacob._

_ Don't_, was my defiant thought. It was hard to keep my true intentions out of my head so Sam and the others wouldn't know.

I rose from my position and started to back away.

_Dude, where are you going?_ Embry yelled.

_Back to La Push. I'm not leaving my car here._

I ran back to where my shoes and shorts were hidden behind Bella's house. Embry followed me.

_Do you have an extra pair of shorts in the car?_

_ Yeah._

_ I'll ride back with you._

_ Fine. But don't ask me about Bella. I'm not talking about it._

_ Okay._


End file.
